Taking Children to Church

Updated on March 04, 2008
M.P. asks from Memphis, TN
41 answers

When is a good age to let you kids sit in a church service? I have a 7,5, and a 4 year old. My older two usually do ok but my youngest is a mess. Is he still too young?

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So What Happened?

I apreciate all of the good advice that I received from everyone. We had a good day in church yesterday. I let him color and play with his bunny. Eventually he went to sleep. Thanks everyone.

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A.W.

answers from Texarkana on

Children are never too young to attend church. I was raised from day one in church since my father is a pastor. And, likewise, I have raised my 3 in church from day one as well. I believe it is important to get children into sunday school and into church so that they can begin learning at an early age. I have a 9 year old, one that is turning 7 in less than 2 months, and a 4 1/2 year old. All 3 attend worship service....however my 4 year old has the option to attend children's church (but she chooses not too...she likes to go to "big" church). I always keep a pen in my purse or bible case for each child and drawing or notebook paper for them as well. I encourage all my children to keep quiet during the service but to also particiapte during the song service. Of course, I also have my 9 and "7" year old to listen and follow along in the Bible when scripture is being read. Also, I keep gum or mints in my purse for something to keep in their mouth...to quench their "hunger". I hope this encourages you some!

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J.J.

answers from Jonesboro on

I don't think he is too young. It's all in how you stress to the importance of listening to Gods word. You might let him bring a quiet toy and reward him for good behavior after wards. It's usually an hour or so and eventually he'll start getting into the listening part.
Good luck and God Bless

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L.L.

answers from Little Rock on

I have always taken ny children into worship services with me, no matter the age. I take books and crayons to help the younger ones be occupied. Under 3 I might take cheerios or something i can give them to nibble on. They won't learn to behave in church unless they are actually in church.

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T.G.

answers from Gadsden on

well as a single mom of a 7 year old i started church when my son was 2 and he was very loud and would not sit still so i would take him to the bathroom and told him he needed to be quite and i would carry stuff he could eat with his fingers a dring and small toys and now i could not ask for no better child in church my preacher told me not to get upset with him being loud because if a preacher could not preach over loud and crying kids then he didnt need to be a preacher hope that helps u out

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A.C.

answers from Dothan on

I have just started taking my 4 year old girl in the service. She likes all of the music and then when the sermon starts I pull out a bag with crayons, markers and coloring books. I have been surprised how well she does b/c she is very rambunctious.
Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from Alexandria on

I also have a 4 year old, and she can not sit still or stop talking during service. Our church offers children church for the young ones. Maybe try finding a church in your area that offers something similar. Just remember that your child being a mess during service usually bothers you more than anyone else.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

If you have a childrens church I would suggest sending him to that instead of having him sit in big church with you. It is hard for them to sit still for even that period of time and neither of you get much from it. Now I know there are moms and dads out there that disagree with me, I know that. But from my experience as a mom of 5, they are usually ready about the time they start K or 1st grades. I think children's church is just a wonderful thing and has touched the lives of my kids in great ways. Then when they were old enough to 'graduate' from there, they did great in big church.

I will keep you in my prayers as you go through this change in your life.

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B.F.

answers from Birmingham on

I'm with you Sister!

I have a girl 5 yrs now.
11 months behind a boy - now 4.
22 months later another boy now 2.

Also separated and divorcing soon - Good God, how long does it take to do this stuff? It drags on and on...

I hope that yours is going better than mine - mine is horrible. He makes things as difficult as humanly possible. I just want to move on to whatever my life has for me.

I am now entering a new world - very different for me. I was a stay-at-home and now find myself the only (almost)divorced mom at my kids school (elitist little preschool - not my intention, but very close to home). I know that I will have to have a new social life - it terrifies me. I also know that I am going to have to go to "real work" at some point - which terrifies my kids. I work part-time (15 hrs/wk) now and started this only a few months ago. However, during the Christmas season I found myself working 30 plus hours a week and my kids fell apart - too many changes - too many folks leaving. I am glad that I am now back to just a few hours. But, I get no benefits and not much money. So, I will have to move into more gainful employement - I thought that I had already grown up!!!

At any rate, I can't help you on your church issue - mine are all terrible on Sunday mornings - but we are there!

I will pray for you. Contact me if you would like to email. I could always use support.

B. - Birmingham,AL

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A.D.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Our church has bags of coloring books and crayons in the back of the sanctuary that my 40 DD loves to go and pick out. She'll lay them out across the pew but won't actually color much -- it keeps her with something going, though. Then, before the sermon, they have children's church at the front of the sanctuary; after that several kids go down to the nursery and play for the remainder of the service. She does fine with that format.

Definitely bring something to do and also dry snacks (Cheerios, Cheese-Its, etc.) with you. I did that when my DD was smaller and it worked wonders. Sometimes they misbehave when they get hungry and all we see is their acting out!

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V.W.

answers from Little Rock on

My kids are 21,19,&11. When the 2 oldest were infants they were in the church service and never went out to a childrens program(our church didn't have one.) I think the younger you take them the better( Of course we had to take thm out a few times for fussiness.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

My kids are 4 and 6 and they have been going to Church (instead of the nursery) since they were about 2 1/2 or 3. Our Church has a very kid friendly Family service. The Church has small clipboards with a coloring sheet (related to the service) and crayons. The kids can color or write on the scratch paper provided in the pews. The kids also get to go up on the altar and listen to the Priest do a sermon on their level. They also take up the collection. The Priest does not mind if the kids run around the Church -- he is just glad they are there.

If you don't want to think about looking for a more kid friendly Church, take some quiet toys for the kids: coloring book and crayons, scratch paper to draw on, a small stuffed animal, a child's Bible to look at. I hope this helps.

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S.S.

answers from Knoxville on

Church is a very important place to take your children. Try taking a few quite toys that the young ones could play with that would entertain them, but not disrupt the service. Try sitting in the back of the church. That way if they are out of hand, or you need to take them out, you bother less people. My daughter is almost 5 months old and she does pretty well in church. When she was little and would cry, I was so afraid that we were disrupting the entire service. After church one day, the preacher told me that it doesn't bother him and it shouldn't bother the congregation. After all, the children of the church are going to be the next generation to be the heads of the church. You shouldn't let them run wild, but people expect a little noise. And like me preacher said, without them there, the church doesn't have a future.

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L.S.

answers from Little Rock on

does your church have a childen's program? Kids get bored in big church.

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V.R.

answers from Lafayette on

I have a 14 year old and I am currently 17 weeks pregnant. When I began going to church faithfully when my daughter was 4. She refused to go to the children's facility because of attachment issues so I allowed her to attend church with me. There was never a problem, she listened and retained more than I knew at the time. She is very knowledgeable about the Bible and the difference b/t right and wrong. She is a leader among her peers and has taken a vow of chastity until she gets married. As long as your kids know what type of behavior is acceptable and agree to it you should encourage them to attend with you. Allow the church to be part of the positive influence that you want to have in your children's lives. God Bless.

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L.D.

answers from Shreveport on

Hi M.,
My children are 7 and 6 years and 17-months old. My oldest two attend children's church and my church has nursery for infants to 3 years. My 17-month old sits in church with my husband and I. She is not always quiet, but she does pretty good. She went to the nursery a few times, but she mainly sits with us. My pastor just overlooks her when she is talking. I would suggest you to bring coloring books and crayons, or some sort of mess free art for your son to enjoy while church is going on. He is not too young to sit in church, but you need to do things that will get his attention and keep him calm. He may talk or move here and there, but it is normal for his age. The more he goes to church, the more he will learn to sit quietly during services. Maybe even give him snacks and quiet toys to play with. I really recommend you advocating for children's church at your church or even a nursery that takes 4 year olds. ~L.~

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A.O.

answers from Johnson City on

i have 3 myself, and we go to grundy baptist. our church has a nursery and children's church for 4 and up, for those who want to go downstairs during service. but i think if you want to have your child with you during regular service, that's great. as far as him being a "mess", that just goes with being 4! try sitting towards the back, maybe, in case you need to sneak out and have a "talk" with him. otherwise i wouldn't worry about what people might think, if that's what it is, because the majority of the people there have probably had a small child in church once or twice, so they'll understand. plus there's no better time to teach him the difference between play and quiet time. hope this helps! God bless! :)

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K.B.

answers from Johnson City on

I am a mom of three energetic boys 9,6 and 4. I do find that girls sit better for a longer time than boys do. Does the church you attend have childrens church? This is a great alternative and is catered to a young childs learning ability. You need to be able to get something out of what the pastor is saying without worrying if the kids are being disruptive and they will welcome the experience of childrens church. If they do not have childrens church try taking something to occupy him such as a coloring book.

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C.C.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Your kids are never to young to start sitting in church. The younger they are the better. I always keep my kids in church with me from the times they were babies and they got loud at times but they got took outside when they did. It don't take them long to learn its time to be quite. I also took small things for my kids to play with or write on. This was always a big hit. Good luck!
I am also a single mom and know how you feel

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T.G.

answers from Knoxville on

I would start taking them to church now. I know are church has classes for all of them. We go to Concord Church it is located off of Snyder Rd. in the Knoxville Christian School Gym (KCS). If you are interested contact me.

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C.H.

answers from Little Rock on

I am a Children's Pastor's wife. I completely understand where you are coming from. First being a single parent~~what can I say~~your work is cut out for you! First of all, in my opinion is never to early to take your children to church. How you handle them in church is the key. If your church has a nursery, use it! However, it some situations there is a nursery available but I have found the parent has to stay in with the child. Another option is Children's Church. Does your church has a children's church? If the answer is no to the nursery and Children's Church. I would bring quite items to keep your children "busy" during the service. Such as coloring books, colors, sticker book/stickers, puzzles, etc.
There are so many things I would like to share with your about this issue, but space won't allow. If you need further information regarding this...please contact me.
I hope I can help in this matter. Thank you for at least trying to do the right thing! I honor you! C. H

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A.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

I start my kids at 4, but one thing I make sure of is that they have something to do! My oldest is now starting to read and loves it, so anything to read is good, but my four-year-old needs something more. We've used coloring books, blank pages for drawing, books to look at, Color Wonder sets, Etch-a-Sketch, magnetic drawing boards. Pretty much any quiet, easy to manage toy or coloring book. They need to learn to listen, yes, but an hour is a long time to expect a four-year-old to sit and listen! It's okay to let them do something in that time! Hope that helps!

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D.F.

answers from Jackson on

Our nursery goes up to 4and then We have a childrens church where they go and listen but it is geared more for their age. hope this helps.

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P.W.

answers from Lake Charles on

Hi M.,
Your youngest may need a little "entertainment". You might think about bringing a ziploc bag with cheerios or fruit loops with you for nourishment and perhaps a book or two and/or a small toy.

4 year olds tend to get a little fidgety and I have found that if they are given food or a toy to help get them past the "boring" part of a church service, they forget that they are required to sit still for an extended period of time.

My children ALWAYS had something with them at church to occupy them when the minister lost them. It is easy to understand that their attentions span is not as long as ours and even with that, sometimes I even get a little tired sitting.

Hope this helped!
P.

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J.K.

answers from Birmingham on

What does your church provide? In my church, for example, there is nursery through K-4. Once children enter kindergarten, they attend the first part of the service with their parents, then are dismissed for children's church; this provides them a good transition from nursery to church. Then, beginning in first grade, they attend church with their parents.
Many churches do it differently, however. In some congregations there is no nursery at all. In that case, church members are accustomed to some small distractions and often help one another with the children.
There's no "right" age, and also no "too young," as some children attend church from infancy (in centuries past, it was always that way.)
So, if your church has a nursery, send your 4-yr-old there. If it doesn't, take him to church (all the other 4-yr-olds will be attending also.) You may want to offer him some quiet activities, such as drawing about halfway through the service. Teach him some hymns/songs at home so he can participate in the singing.
You may also like the book "Parenting in the Pew."
Let us know how it goes.

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G.E.

answers from Texarkana on

Never too young to go to church. Most have nurseries and playrooms if the kids are getting disruptive. I usually took a little busy bag along, colors, paper, and other "quiet" things.
During the song service the kids are usually more involved and during the giving part, make sure they have something to give, so they can feel a part. But the young ones are too young to understand much of the sermon...so its not bad to have a busy bag in my opinion. As they begin to understand more, they start listening better, especially if the preacher has some interesting stories to tie his points to. It often ended up being "naptime." But they learned to be quiet and respectful.

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C.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

M.

My boys are both grown so it has been a while. If your church has a children's ministry and something for the four year old during worship service, then I would do that. Our church did not have a children's church so my kids came to church with us probably around the age of 4. I always brought a book or coloring book and colors. I did not sit where it was easy to take them out. As long as they had something to do they were quiet. If you don't have a children's church, then I would make sure to take something to do or maybe some cheerios to snack on. Our current church has "kid bags" that are available for those who do not go to children's church that are stuffed with coloring pages, colors, pencils and paper. The parents pick them up before church starts and return the bag at the end of the service. Hope this works - will pray for you.
C.

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J.P.

answers from Nashville on

I take my seventeen month old with me every time....unless he is sick then we stay home:(. I don't think there is an age limit to any church. I have a little "noah's ark" that stays where I sit. It has a lot of pieces to it so he doesn't get bored as fast. I also carry a little backpack full of stuff(crayons, coloring book, juice, snack, cars, etc.) I wish you the best of luck...I hope you continue to take your children to church...it's the best place they could ever be!!

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M.G.

answers from Biloxi on

My opinion about taking kids into "big" church is this...... If they can't behave and be quite, take themn to the nursery/children's church. It is a disruption for the "mood" in the church. I believe that children are different as to when they can sit quitely and not be too loud/disruptive. That is just my opinion. I was raised in church and could never understand why people would allow their children to be so disruptive. That's why they have a nursery and children's ministries. Hope that helps. Kudos for taking your kidos to church!!!!!!

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M.S.

answers from Memphis on

As a teaching assistant, you probably realize that people learn by doing, by repeating a task, by putting theory into practice. In other words, the only way your children will learn how to behave in church is to take them to church. Tell them what will be happening during the service, and make your expectations for their behavior very clear. Of course, you should praise what they do correctly, but don't go overboard with it. Eventually, the praise from you won't be necessary because they will simply be doing what is expected of them.

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D.S.

answers from New Orleans on

You are never too young to go to Church, my daughter has a set of Twins they will be 11 months on the 23rd, some of these churches have childrens church.The children are the ones who keep the church alive,the twins have been going since they were born.If you are Looking for a church, If u are in the slidell area I attend a church In Lacombe where I grew up.based on children going to Church, its Located on 434 3 miles North of I-12

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R.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Often it depends more so on the attitude of the child more than the age. My daughter(7) will sit through an entire service without complaining or getting ansy. My sons(both 6) however cannot. A church with children's church is a great help though, and they are still being taught God's word. My church has children's church, but once a month they have no children's church for one Sunday, thus teaching them to sit through a service. Just remember, different needs for different kids, none are the same, each one will react differently. God Bless!!

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A.B.

answers from Monroe on

I think it really varies from child to child and from church to church. Some children can sit in church and listen, most can't. Some churches offer a children's church up to age 12 or so. I think if a child can sit still and actuall learn and enjoy a church service, then he's ready. I think if you have a children's church, let them go and have fun while learning. I would hate to think my children didn't like to go to church and I kept making them sit through the service, possibly turning them against going to church when they are out on their own. I have 5- oldest one is 11 and he goes to children's church, he does good throught the service, but he enjoys children's church....his time is limited there though! My other children really enjoy making projects and going to children's church. HTH Angie

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B.S.

answers from Dothan on

M., the longer you wait, the harder it will be. My children have been in church since they were four weeks old. They have been in the choir since they were 4 and the have been on the usher board since they were 7. Now they are 16. My newest child (age 3) is the roudy one in the bunch. One time my pastor even had to tell her to sit down. She was so taken aback, she did it. Our church also has a nursery for children who are too rambunctious or sleepy. Just remember, the sooner you get them into a routine the better.

B. Smith

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I'd say that all depends on the child and the church. Our minister usually goes pretty deeply into abstract theological and philosophical concepts, and I certainly wouldn't expect a 4-year-old to be able to sit attentively through one of his sermons, even though I find them interesting. Andif your church is one where there are numerous position changes (sit, stand, kneel, sit...), then a youngster might have some difficulty understanding when it's ok for him to get up and when it isn't. Same with conregational responses - he may have difficulty understanding why it was ok to talk out loud five minutes ago, but not now.
When my daughter was young, she didn't like the nursery, so I did take her with me. I brought a coloring book and a small box of crayons and a picture book for her, and told her that she had to sit and be quiet if she wanted to stay with me. But she has always been more interested in books than anything else anyway, so that suited her just fine.

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S.B.

answers from Texarkana on

Hi, I don't know what type of church you attend, but I'll tell you what the moms at our church do. If the child isn't ready for to sit in the congregation, they take them to the nursery, which doesn't cost extra. If they do bring them into the congregation, they provide colors and colorpages or a book or something similar that they can play with quietly. It really depends on the individual child as to whether or not they are ready to learn to sit and be still. An hour is what our service lasts, and if the child does get restless, the mom takes him/her back to the nursery until service is over. At such a young age, they really don't get much out of the regular service anyway since they are too young to understand or pay attention.

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S.C.

answers from New Orleans on

I assume you live in the Mandeville area, there is a GREAT church called Church of the king in Mandeville that will watch and play games w/ your 4 yr old. My son is three and goes there 2 days a week for the mothers day out program. they also have 3 days or even 5 days a week for kids. But, back to mass, its free and the pastor is Awesome. It is off hwy 59 on the other side of the I12. on the service road. It is a non domominational church. I love it, there is no comparison to the catholic church. I grew up in a catholic environment. Not knowing any better.....BORING...This is unbelievable, it has completly changed my thinking about the ctholic church. I promise it will change your too. Hope this helps.....

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M.T.

answers from Honolulu on

I have a 17 month old and I take her in with us while they are singing. She likes the singing. But she can't sit still long so after that we take her to the nursery. I think that whenever they can sit or at least understand that they have to be quiet and not fuss or cry, so they don't disturb others, then they are old enough.

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R.U.

answers from Nashville on

you might want to find a church that has a childrens church where they can go durying regular worship and have lessons that are age opprp[riate. this is how my church does. the kids come in at the begining and stay thruogh the singing and then go to there own church.. they love it. blessings and peace. R. uhls mom of seven ages 28 to 8. you really need a church that fits you family. it may take a while but it is worth the search. you most remember that your kids need to learn just as much as you do. good luck

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M.E.

answers from Mobile on

I guess it depends on your church, but usually there's a kid's church during the main service. 4 does sound a bit young to have to sit through a service though. Can you bring a colouring book and some quiet games for him to play in the pew?

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D.E.

answers from Fayetteville on

I have a 4 and a 5 year old and I usually bring them into the adult service for the music and then take them to their class. They love worshipping God through music (my son plays "air drums" rather than singing), but the teaching is way over their heads in the adult service. I think they get a lot more out of their class where they do crafts and games to reinforce what they are learning. This works out for me in a small church; it might be too complicated to do that in a larger church.

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

We have children ages 18, 16, 10, and 3. Once they hit 3 years old we started taking them into the worship service. They start out in worship and usually end up in the nursery. But, slowly they get to the point that they can make it to the "children's church" section of the worship. If you do not have a children's church in your church you may want to start one. It really makes it easier if they only have to make it through the first 1/3 of the service and then go to children's church. We rotate who has children's church duty at our church. You end up doing it about twice a year. The pastor or the children's ministry leader can give you suggesions on curriculum materials. It really helps to have a lesson plan and activities.

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