How Do I Tell My Parents I'm Failing a Class?

I actually teach at a college, so perhaps I can offer some perspective. College courses are intended for students to devote 2 hours preparation for every 1 hour in the classroom. This is particularly true for a course like English Composition or a literature class, where you need to do a good deal of writing outside of class. Does your schedule of learning multiple languages, playing two different instruments, and taking four courses really allow you to devote this amount of time to the college courses? I suspect not. As several other posters have said, you have taken on too much and you and your parents need to re-evaluate the expectations of what you can and should be doing. I'd suggest cutting way back on the outside of school activities and focus more on the world of high school (socially and academically). There's more than enough time in life for high-powered academics and achievement-oriented music. Also, re-read my newnickname's post again. She makes some excellent points. Good luck with it!

I'm not sure there is a way to demonstrate the amount of effort you've put into things. Don't they know? Surely they have some awareness of all of your activities. My own daughter is 15, and taking some dual enrollment courses. She also plays in the band, is in Beta Club, does Helen Ruffin Reading bowl, and plays for the Pit Band for the drama department's spring show. (Band is pretty much a full time commitment, and you may be aware of that, given you play instruments. Are they for your own pleasure, or are you in an orchestra with school?) I worry that my daughter takes on more than she should. She excels at it and seems to thrive on the pressure. I wish she had more down time before her days as a "kid" are over.

The best way to tell them is just to tell them. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Parents always want to hear this stuff sooner rather than later. I'm not clear on the English class though... did a semester just end? Here, we're only at mid-term. Have you spoken to the professor about what went wrong? If you were my child, the first questions I would have would be how/why it happened. If you don't have any answer for that, then figure out the answer. Then tell them what happened. And saying 'I don't know' is not an answer. You are mature enough to take THREE college courses at age 15, then you should be responsible enough and intelligent enough to ascertain why you didn't pass.

Maybe the violin and/or piano need to move to the back burner for a while. Maybe you should've only taken 4 courses instead of 5 and you bit off more than you could chew. It does happen. Was the decision to take all of these classes yours, or were you pressured into it? Take a moment for some reflection and look at how to move forward from here.

Since you are nervous about this and this is about more than just one class, it's really about the pressure they place on you, I suggest talking to your guidance counsellor first. Then, make an appointment to talk with your parents and your guidance counsellor together. It looks like you took on more than you were ready for. There is a reason that college classes are for college students and not high school students. Hopefully with your guidance counsellor and your parents together, you can come up with a more realistic schedule for the remainder of your high school education.

As someone who teaches college classes, here is another piece of advice. I am sure that your grade did not drop that far due to 1 assignment. You had to have had multiple assignments that you did not do well on. In the future, as soon as you start to struggle in a class, talk to the professor who teaches the class. Instructors are usually glad to help students, but part of taking a college level class is that, unlike high school, teachers don't come to you when they see you struggle. They expect you to have the maturity to come to them when you want help.

I think you need to examine how you've been using your time, and be prepared to explain that to your parents.

If you dropped one college class, that means you were taking two high school classes and two college classes.

And you failed one of the two college classes.

So you were working successfully on two high school classes and one college class.

It does not sound like an overly-intense classload.

Maybe you are spending too much time practicing your extracurricular musical instruments and foreign languages? (Piano and violin are GREAT, but not so great if you are not getting credit for that work.)

You tell them what you've told us.
Look - you need some perspective.
This isn't your first year at college - this is earning college credits while you're in high school.
AND - you have to remember - even if you earn the credits now - there's no guarantee those credits will transfer 100% to a 4 yr college.
You might STILL have to take some of this course work over again.
At the school my son goes to - they make this clear to all the kids who are doing as you are doing - it's a bit of a gamble.
That doesn't even make you a college freshman yet - you are pre-college.
You failed a class that cost $400.
If you were going to college and this was your freshman year - you'd be out WAY more than $400.

There's such a thing as juggling too many balls for you to handle and it's better you learn about that now than later.
It's a fine line to walk - pressuring your kids to succeed as you put it - BUT every child has their strengths and weaknesses and a good parent should also temper the pressure to allow for the abilities of the child.
They want you to be the best you that you can be.

You are SO NOT washed up at 15 yrs old.
This is just one class - and it might prove to be a more valuable learning experience than if you passed.
Just learn from it - and then do things a little differently next time.

My oldest grandson is starting high school next year and they have it set up where the kids can take college credited courses which transfer credit for credit when they graduate if they attend that local college. They recommend using this option if the student has a good basic understanding of the subject matter.

So at this point you are failing college level English. Did you speak with the instructor to see what happened for that grade to drop so much? Do they give you back your work to review and you didn't see the impact it would have?

Your guidance counselor might be a good asset to walk you and your parents through this so that you are taking courses you are able to do the work in and your parents aren't shelling out money for nothing. I think its time to sit down with your parents and figure out a game plan moving forward. Maybe you cut back on some things for a semester to focus on the basics. Take 4 classes and concentrate on those instead of piano and violin? Use the tutors at school as much as possible to get help and keep on track.

Hi Braydon!
I'm a mom that has a son that sounds a lot like you. He was a high achiever who was offered free college in another part of our state at the age of 16. He earned a perfect score on the math portion of his SAT. He earned a $30,000 scholarship ( he could have gotten more if he felt that he was ready to live on his own but he wasn't.) He failed his first year at school. We were shocked. He was kicked out of the Engineering school and lost his scholarship.

It wasn't the end of the world. In fact, sometimes he feels that it was the best thing for him. He felt so much pressure to be perfect - to be the smartest one in the class that it was crushing him. He is so much more comfortable at a smaller school working in his own zone. We no longer hold the expectations that we once had.

He is now 21 and completing his Bachelor's degree. He may complete it 6 months behind "schedule." In the grand scheme of things, that is no big deal.

You will have to learn what you can handle. The load doesn't sound like it is too bad but the extra language and musical instrument is probobly pushing you over the edge. If it is too much for You, it is too much. Learn to recognize when things are too much and wuickly make adjustments so that you are not overwhelmed - I know easier said than done. I have struggled to do this even as an adult. Good luck!

To do all that you are doing at the age of 15 suggests that you are a very smart young man. The problem here is you are 15. Your busy schedule is a lot of pressure for most adults and it seems excessive for a 15 year old. One thing that you do not need to do is beat yourself up. I went to college as an adult and flunked a class because I wasn't interested in the subject. I had to pay to take the class again which was a lesson for me but I was an adult. You are not.

If you can't talk to your parents print off the message you wrote on this board and let them read it. Sometimes as parents we do put a lot of pressure on our kids but remember your parents love you and want what's best for you. Talk to them and together decided where to go from here. Good luck!!

It sounds to me that you are taking on too much, and so are your parents. I would explain this to them just how you did to us.

So you were taking 16 college hour credits. That was the most I was ever able to handle taking at one time. When I was 17, 18, 19, 20 and 21 years old. I knew that was my max threshold and one of those classes would suffer...if I took 12 hours I could balance work and school and make my passing grades.

You dropped a class, good for you to drop when you knew it was too much. It sounds like you just had a bad test, they happen even when you study...

Why are you taking finals in March? Usually aren't they given in May? Was this a midterm exam and not a final exam? (Unless English is at high school and it was the end of the nine week grading period).

If you guys eat dinner together tell them after dinner...bad news is easier to take on a full stomach. Offer to pay them back the money by getting a part time job and cutting back on the number of classes you are taking. College isn't a race, so see if you can slow down a bit.

I am proud of you (a stranger and mother on the internet) for trying to tackle so many things. My son 12 has decided to give up violin next year in 7th grade to pursue other interests...he tried it, it wasn't a passion...he wants to try guitar once he gets into the 7th grade groove. He learned to read music and enjoyed being part of orchestra but realized it is time to move on. He is currently on a pre-AP track to take those high school/college credit classes in a couple years.

Sending you a big hug! We all have failures, they build character and make you do better the next time. I hope your parents have the grace to understand that...and that I do too when my kids fail.

where is your life? When are you allowed to be a CHILD?

You're 15 and in high school and college? HUH?!

You need to stop and smell the roses. You need to experience a childhood and teenage years, not stressing about college courses. It's great that you want to excel. I think it's great. I can't say I didn't push my kids, I did, however, I didn't expect them to be in college courses at the age of 15. Slow down.

Are you having any 15 yr old fun? Do you get together with friends, play sports, play video games, read for fun, have hobbies you enjoy, have downtime to do nothing??

Childhood shouldn't be about fast tracking your life to adulthood. It's about growth, development and finding balance and learning how to navigate your way through life. It is about learning and practicing independence. You are not an adult yet. You will have MORE than enough time to be an actual adult and put all kinds of pressure on yourself later!

Please talk with your high school counselor to help you find some balance in your life. Maybe he or she can help you talk with your parents and cut back on some things.

It sounds to me like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself...do you think you are taking on too much at a time? It sounds like it to me. If you take on too many things then you just do not have enough time for everything. You probably did not have enough time to study like you should have for your final. Most people focus on one thing at a time...high school first...then college. Do your parents pressure you to work on college classes now or are you pressuring yourself to do this? In the end it is you making these decisions and in a few short years you will be an adult and on your way to making all your decisions for yourself. I think you should go talk to your English professor (or teacher...is this a college class or high school class?) and see if there is any way you can bring your grade up. Explain all you are doing in life and that you did not have the time to study like you wanted to and you really regret it. They probably will not be able to do anything about it but it is worth a try and they will appreciate your effort. When telling your parents stay calm even if they get upset and tell them why you think you did poorly and what you plan on doing differently next time. Tell them you feel very badly that they wasted their money. They will see that you have been thinking about it and have a plan that this does not happen again. Don't beat yourself up too hard...life gets tough and overwhelming at times and when you are an adult and done with college this will all not be so important anymore. To me you seem extremely impressive. I wish my son were more like you! You will get through this! (But do come up with a plan for the future...perhaps you need to do less classes at one time for example).

Well, to me it seems like you must be a genius or something because you're doing work that is far beyond your years.

Can't you just enjoy high school for a while? You're 15? and flunking a college course? That's because you're not ready for college. I'm very afraid you and your parents have pushed this way too far. You're supposed to start dating in a year, going to proms, having some fun in the classes that are for your age group.

I would maybe let my kiddo take one college class per semester but it would be something they did extremely well in. Our girl excels in history. So I might let her take a humanities or history class that she picked and it had a good instructor. But if she failed it I wouldn't hold it against her, it's college and she's not ready for college.

You are doing way too much. The languages and instruments and college classes and regular school is just too much for a 15 year old child, yes, you are a child, to do.

So tell your parents that you were wrong. You don't want to take college courses along with everything else and that you want to wait at least a year to take anything that pushes your limits like this.

When YOU are ready for college you are the type of student that will make those straight A's in college. You'll be the one setting the bell curve high. But that's when it's time for you to take college classes. You should enjoy high school then go to college full time and enjoy college, a LOT.

I teach at the college level and it sounds like you are in over your head. That isn't your fault. You are still in high school...why all the college classes? You need to talk to your high school counselor about what is a reasonable load. Since I'm guessing the semester will be over in May...if you need to finish out these classes, you might ask your teachers if there is any extra credit or any way to make up the exams or assignments that you failed. I do give my student's extra credit if they need it.
I don't see why parents and students are in such a rush to get college credit. Heck...I remember kids taking 5-6 years to graduate from college after high school!
In the big scheme of things...you're probably better off leaving college classes for when you are actually in college - not high school. You'll be older, more mature and in a better position to know what you really want to study.
As far as your parents...be honest. If you're struggling, tell them. They need to know that you can only handle a high school load. There's nothing wrong with that!

First, talk to your professor and ask him/her if there is anything you can do to pull the grade up. It seems a little early in the semester for your grade to be final.

It sounds like you might have your plate a little too full. Is there any way to omit one or two of those activities? Your parents should know that you are a hard worker. Maybe the lesson here is to keep your activities, including your classes, to a manageable amount.

Good luck with it all. And I agree with the others, you need to enjoy your time at high school. It only happens once in life.