How Do I Get My Baby to Sleep Through the Night???

Updated on June 20, 2008
J.K. asks from Palm Desert, CA
21 answers

I have a 20 mo. old daughter. She used to be good at night until couple of months ago. She started waking up every two hours. I haven't been getting enough sleep since then. I tried letting her cry out but did not work. She would cry for more than 30 minutes and sometimes puke. Is this some kind of illness?? Should I see a doctor about it??

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K.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

You may just have to wait this one out a bit. I bet she is teething. If you aren't against it, I would suggest a little children's tylenol before bed- worked for my son! :) Kaarina

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Did you use a formal sleep training system with her yet. I dragged my feet with my ten month old and finally used the Sleep Easy training solution by Jill Spivak and it worked. I could not believe it. It was a lot requires consistency and reading the whole system and a lot of husband support. But it was a total success!!

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Highly recommend www.sleepyplanet.com -- the book is an easy read and it's worked wonders for us and 10 month old son.
They have great advice for working a program. Their approach is not to cry it out but instead to set parameters and try to comfort with your voice. Approach is (1) set the scene for bedtime with relaxing downtime or a bath about 30 minutes before bedtime (and this should be sometime between 6:30-8 p.m.); (2) Put her in bed and tell her good night; (3) if she cries, wait 5 minutes, then go in and without touching her, talk to her for no longer than 30 seconds-- e.g., you can do it, relax my baby girl, it is bedtime, I'll come check on you in ten minutes; (3) then if she's still crying go in 10 minutes later and repeat; (4) then repeat at 15 minute intervals if still crying. Consistency is key. This should be how all naps and wake-ups in the middle of the night are also handled. Wait at least 5 minutes to let her work it out herself. All bets are off if going through a developmental milestone or teething or sick.

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A.C.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I recommend Dr. Sears book: "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep." He offers many loving alternatives to "crying it out" and he recognizes that each family sleeping situation is different and whatever works for your family is right for you.

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T.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Be strong. Let her cry longer. She is trying to get your attention by puking. It's all a game. Try to stay calm and know she's learning to go to sleep without your help. It's a learning phase. Let her go though it. You'll be happy you did.

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H.L.

answers from Seattle on

Might be molars coming in. Those kind of teeth are painful. If it is molars, you can give some tylenol before sleep.

My sister mentioned that having a wonderful collection of lullaby music on hand and a CD player in their room helps tons.

My husband and I take turns at the helm when any of our children's sleep patterns get out of hand. It is important to have enough bedding on hand to change a crib quickly and a low light setting to keep the room sleep friendly and not teach a kid that barfing is the ticket out. Get them cleaned up, reassure them, and get back in the saddle. This too will pass. Second hand stores are great places to get cheap, used crib bedding. It's only going to get barfed on, so why spend a fortune, right? As they say, "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

Someone once said well, and I will paraphrase, that, as hard as it is, it is really important for our children to get a chance to learn how to cope with falling asleep and being at peace with it. They do learn. They will have internal battles. They will need to learn how to calm their own tempers.

Our second daughter fought bedtime. She would scream and throw up. She is now 8 years old and one of the most self disciplined children I have ever met. I am glad now to have gone through that with her. It is good to feel confident that one can encourage and fascilitate someone through really awful, hard learning experiences. Kids have an uncanny way of requiring that and good parents learn how. Good luck!!!

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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Check for allergies, mold, sleep apnia

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

"silent nights" sleep patches for adults and youth. No drugs. They work like a charm!! Check out this website for more info. Lifewave.com/kherihealth

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. I have three daughters 3,6 and 7 and they have all gone through this. It turned out for mine that they were having "bad dreams" at this age and were unable to put themselves back to sleep without me being there for them. Letting them cry it out doesn't work because they are afraid to be alone with whatever they are dreaming about. They don't really have words to express themselves well at this age and just need to know you are there. Crying and then puking is common because they get themselves all worked up and then how can they fall asleep? I know I can't sleep if I am all worked up :-) I think if you just help her through this "stage" it will work itself out. Maybe try asking her if she had a bad dream? Maybe she needs to go pee and her body is waking her up. That is another thing the girls have told me.

Hope this helps!

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J.S.

answers from San Diego on

I would agree with some of the other moms that she is probably teething. Also, has she had any problems with her digestion recently? My son is 6 months, does not sleep through the night and recently started waking up screaming (when before it was just a toss and turn). We took him to a Kinesiologist (type of chiropractor that does more holistic treatments) to help with digestion/intestinal troubles that he has and to also make sure that his neck and spine are in good alignment. I have been seeing a kinesiologist for the past 8 years and heard many stories of parents using one for colicky babies. You can check for a doctor in your area and learn more about this field at: http://www.icakusa.com

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Mom,
The vomiting is likely due to the crying jag, not an illness. However, there could be something going on for her to wake that frequently for a toddler that age who until recently slept through the night. I would mention to your pediatrician and rule out anything that could be causing pain or discomfort at night. This sounds gross but a common problem w/ young ones can be pin worms which cause itching at night. There is a book that I found helpful called the No Cry Sleep Solution.
Best of Luck!:)

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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

J., Please don't let your baby cry it out. I feel that it is horrible to make any child go through that. I have been there myself, succumbed to the advice with my first son and after five nights of two to three hours of crying we gave up. He HATED his crib from then on and never slept in it again, was super clingy for weeks and I felt like we had broken his trust in us. For our second son I was convinced not to do that and got the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I read it cover to cover and highlighted all the major points so that I would know what to look for quickly if I needed it. It definetly worked with my second son and I am so glad I found it. Your daughter is vomiting because she is so upset. Don't let her go through that again , please. Go get the book and start reading, you'll be glad you did. T.

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S.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

My little guy would throw up from crying as well...and from coughing...and from being "grossed out"...and when he has to take medicine....he just has a strong gag reflex, nothing "wrong" with him per say. If you are worried about that, talk with your doc about it, but if he is anything like my boy, it is normal, and he will grow out of it (somewhat...more like he will learn to control it better)

As for the sleep thing....can he sleep with you? It is very comforting baby to be with momma/dadda...and as a benifit, you will get more sleep! I see nothing wrong with it, yes, it is a societal expectation to make the baby independant, but this is only within our society.....for many others cosleeping is the norm....

Good luck :)

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A.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J. - It sounds like you have gotten a lot of great advice from moms so far! :) I wanted to let you know about a book called Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It's a nice go-between letting them cry it out with check- ins (a.k.a. Weisbluth or Ferber methods) and actively tending to your child at each wake-up or no-cry sleep solution style (which I have tried).
Simply put you stay in the room with your child until they go to sleep. The first three nights you are right next to the crib and can sing, pat them, etc (just no picking up). Every three nights you move your chair closer to the door until you are out of sight just giving verbal soothing. When they wake up at night, you go to your station & stay until they go to sleep.
My son was a TERRIBLE sleeper and it was BAD!!! This book worked wonders for us - he slept through the night on night # 4. With disruptions like teething, illness or new developments there can be disruptions in sleep but the beauty of sleep training is you have already set up the frame-work and if they get off track, they know what to do with just a little reminder
There are a ton of sleep methods and I think it's really important that you find one that works for you. Just wanted to let you know that this method was out there. Best of luck - this sleep thing is a toughy. :)

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A.F.

answers from Honolulu on

ask her pediatrician. if your not sure and uncomfortable with her sleeping patturns, ask. i also like what one girl said about the low light, extra bedding and soft music. i would put classical music and lullabies n repeat in my sons room when he was younger. i lost my mps layer and lent my speakers to csomeone and well, now i cant so much. i thnk it helps them stay calm and feel comforted. and its supposed to make them SMARTER too! my sons been sleeping through the night for about 4 months, but feel her mgums, if you feel amnything, you know what to do!

good luck, and if you can, nap when she does. i know its hard and you have stuff to do, but it helps. believe me!

hope this helps some.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

She could be getting her 2 y o molars. I am not a big fan of crying it out so I put my 2 y o son in a twin mattress on the floor and I can lay with him if he needs me or he can come into our room if he needs us. It has worked out fabulously for us.
Good luck! I know how important sleep is now that we have 2 boys!
S.

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B.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.
Around 9 months and 18 months are wakeful periods. They may start waking again at night for one reason or another. It may be teething, new milestones, just want you, yes even at 20 months. Maybe she's ready to drop a nap. Most take two naps until 18 months to 2 years. You have one at each stage, lol. At least your baby is sleeping ok, I hope. Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.:

I have two full grown children and my daughter has an 18 month old that lives with us. Both my children slept through the night by six month old and my daughter was having trouble getting my grandson to stay down through the night.

I explained to her that what I did with her and her brother was very difficult but effective. LET THE BABY CRY! I promise you that it will take no more than three nights and your baby will be sleeping peacefully.

The first night is VERY difficult for both of you. More so for the mom. The baby is going to cry possibly for hours (on and off)and through a fit. Second night it will last half of the first night and the third night you won't even notice a wimper.

Now we are all enjoying a full nights sleep and my grandson wakes up refreshed and happy and so does mommy.

Good luck.

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N.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hug he,r hug her, and hug her some more. I know the nights seem long, but she will grow up so fast. Make night time safe and comfortable for her and she will relax and sleep and so will you.. It just my opinion, but I don't believe in letting them cry it out it keep her up and you.
You can't love your kid to much.

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just took my 28 mo old to his first dentist appt and found out he's teething - so that could DEFINATELY be part of your daughters discomfort. Maybe some Tylenol. As far as the puking, if she has no other symptoms, it's probably because she's upset. I have a son that does that occassionally. If she does it alot, I would ask the Dr. With my youngest, the 28 mo old, we have had problems getting him to sleep through the night. He wants to be in our bed. We did not have a family bed until recently. We used the "Sleep lady" info for my oldest son. When I suggested to my husband that we needed to get my youngest in his bed, he reminded me that my son will not do this forever. So we're just going with it. We still start him off in his bed and try to return him to his bed maybe once, but our bed has allowed us to sleep.

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M.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids would lose their sleep pattern when ever they were getting sick, sick or teething. then it would be a couple of weeks before they got back to their old rhythm.

What happens for you when she wakes up? Do you wake up immediately? go to her right away? Are you able to go back to sleep easily after awakened?

With my first child i would instantly wake up at any sound from him. He and i were very connected. If i woke up all the way so did he. I would work to stay in that sleepy zone and moving slowly inside myself, softly say to him, oh you are surfacing. you can go back to sleep if you want to. When I would stay in the half awake place, more often then not he would go back to sleep. If i came all the way awake so would he.

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