Getting 11 Month Old Daughter to Sleep Through the Night.

Updated on February 25, 2008
B.M. asks from Lincoln, NE
15 answers

I know this seems a little silly, but my husband and I need some serious help. At about 6 1/2 months old, our daughter was sleeping through the night with no problem. About two months ago, she had an ear infection and was waking up in the middle of the night. Well, her ear infection is gone, but she is still waking up in the night. We have tried everything to get her to sleep through the night again. She eats like a horse at dinner and eats little snacks through the night before taking her last bottle at about 8:30 before she falls asleep and is put down for the night. I know she isn't going to bed hungry, but she will wake up around 11:30 p.m. crying. I have given her a bottle of formula in the past and she had drank about half of it, then I started doing a bottle of warm water and she would completely consume a 4 ounce bottle. During this entire time, she would not even open her eyes, so I don't know if she is actually awake or having terrible dreams that are upsetting her. Often times she will be standing in the crib when I go in to comfort her and as soon as I pick her up, she lays her head on my shoulder and falls right back to sleep, but not deep enough that I can lay her back down. It is really taking a toll on me, because my husband sleeps through EVERYTHING and I am the one that is getting up (twice a night). I need to get sleep, but I can't let her just continue crying or it will wake up our son (whose bedroom is next to hers) and he needs to sleep so he won't fall asleep at school. It has gotten to the point that she sleeps in our bed just so I can get some sleep. Please give me some suggestions!

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So What Happened?

We did take her to the doctor and found out that it is not due to another ear infection. She slept through the night two nights ago, but then woke up in the night last night again, but she has croup and the doctor gave her a steroid injection. Hopefully that will help (at least with the croup). As much as I don't want to do the crying back to sleep method, I will give it a try this weekend and update you on how it goes.

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P.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you ever taken her to a chiropractor? It could be something as simple as an alignment problem. She might be uncomfortable laying in her crib.

1 mom found this helpful

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K.S.

answers from Duluth on

I would suggest reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". It has really helped my family and sounds like it would have some great suggestions for you too!

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

It could be that she just got in the habit of waking up. There is a great book that a friend recommended to me because my son was a terrible sleeper, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. I liked it because it gives you different ideas (I could never do the let them cry it out). It was a life saver.

Secondly, are you completely sure the ear infection is gone. My son had many ear infections. He had a lot of fluid in his ears, which was causing a lot of our sleep problems. I would maybe check with the doctor to see if she still has a lot of fluid in her ears.

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I agree that it very well may just have become a habit. But I've also heard alot about sleep issues right before they reach a milestone. Is she getting ready to walk or talk or do something new? Every time my son is getting ready for something new he starts waking up more. Good luck! I know its tough when you get used to sleeping through the night then all the sudden your back up again and I commiserate with you one your husband sleeping through everything, I know my husbands not just faking to get out of getting up b/c I've tried to wake him for other stuff and he doesn't budge generally! :-)

L.S.

answers from Davenport on

Liz, my son was a great sleeper at 5 weeks old only getting up once at night then somehow it changed to twice at night again and that went on awhile and finally by 9 months old I was tired of getting up twice to give him a bottle to get him back to sleep so I had to let him cry. You may not be a fan of letting your child cry but it does work. It did take a week for him to start sleeping through the night but he did! It wasnt a bad as we though it was going to be.
As for the sleeping through the night for awhile and waking up for awhile it will keep happening for along time anytime something new changes in your little one or they are sick or they have a dream they can wake up in the middle of the night. Also teething some kids getting teeth they wake alot.
My son has woken a few time now and its been hard to hold him and get him to stop crying we figure he had a bad dream and it can take 20 minutes for him to calm down so he can go back to sleep. But if he wakes up I go in the room and give him his binky and play his music and right away he goes back to sleep. I use to hold him and rock him also but wanted to get out of that "habbit."
As for you if your child takes a binky try to give your little girl one when she wakes and dont pick her up kind of pat her and try to get her back to sleep that way if she has a music box play that. It sounds to me like its a habbit as it was for my son with waking up, and she isnt hungery mine wasnt either even though he would eat, that doesnt mean they are hungery they like to suck on something. I hope this helps and you can find something to get her to sleep all night it will be better for the both of you once she does!! Good luck:)

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

One of mine (16 mos.) needs extra nuturing, and still has bouts of partially waking in the night. I bring him to bed with me, assuming he just needs a warm body around, or I pay one of the older kids $1 to sleep with him (and get him his bottle, pacifier or whatever in the night). Then, he's just fine. Maybe, since you are working so much, your daughter is just missing your touch and snuggle. Personally, I'd just let her sleep with me - then she's happy, you get some rest, and it sounds like your husband won't know the difference.

SAHM of seven

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P.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with the suggestions you already have but I just have to add one thing. Whatever you do, don't keep a running tally of the hours of sleep you got. It only makes it worse. And... don't keep a running tally of the hours of sleep you've gotten compared to your husband. That only creates friction and irritation. Your daughter will sleep through the night at some point. Humans need to sleep and your daughter is no exception. And babies go through periods where they sleep through the night and then a week later, they are up every 2 hours. I could never just let my kids cry to sleep either, and I picked them up when people told me not too and I let them sleep with me. Now they both regularily sleep though the night.

This will pass. Hang in there.

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A.L.

answers from Madison on

Oh wow can I COMPLETELY relate to your problem! I also have a 6 year old boy and a 11 month old girl who does not sleep through the night. She still nurses a lot and will wake 2-3 times a night. I can usually get her to sleep in her own bed for 3-4 hours, then after that she want to be with me. I'm not sure if this will help at all, but it may give you peace of mind to know that this is a phase. Be consistent with what works for you and your family: i.e putting her in bed with you so you can both get some sleep. Most people would disagree with the co-sleeping arrangment, but as I said, it's a phase and it won't last forever! Also, I know your husband sleeps through everything, but perhaps you could work out a deal with him.....say you get up with her the first time, then he MUST get up the 2nd time, etc.

Often times I suffer from anxiety just waiting for her to wake up and disrupt my sleep. So having my husband agree to get up with her lessens my anxiety a great deal. I don't think you have to worry about your son waking up--mine sleeps through most disruptions just fine, I'm sure your son is used to his sister crying and would sleep through it.

Hang in there Liz---enlist your husband to help and above all else: be consistent with what works for YOUR family.

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J.D.

answers from Lincoln on

Do you put her to bed asleep or drowsy? She may have forgotten how to soothe herself back to sleep. It sounds like the waking is just a habit, which happened with our daughter when she was around 9 months old, and she's gotten used to you coming in to put her back to sleep. I would suggest not talking to her when you come in to her room. Quitely lay her back down and if she stands back up, lay her down again until she stays down and falls asleep. You'll have to do it maybe 40 times the first night but eventually she'll learn that when she wakes up, she can fall asleep without you picking her up. If she has a special blanket, pacifier, or toy it might help her soothe herself without your help.

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T.C.

answers from Wausau on

You may have checked to see if your daughter is teething, if she is you may give her some orajel to relieve the pain. Has she been checked for sinus problems one of my boys always complained about bed and nap time and I ignored it thinking he was trying to stay awake. One way to tell is by looking for swelling near the eyes, dark circles. Is it only at night? Is something your feeding her giving her gas. She just may have gotten use to waking up during her ear infection. Is she eating a lot of salty foods before bed? One thing you may try after you've checked everything else out is letting her cry a bit on a weekend when your son doesn't have school the next day or adding five minutes of her fuss time every night until eventually she falls asleep on her own. Don't be discouraged eventually it will work out. Does she need to be elevated, does she have a favorite blankey or animal? Maybe she's eating to much before bed, try lighter snacks. I'm on my fourth baby and getting no sleep never gets any easier but whenever I am awake for the second..or third time I always think of the other Moms awake out there in the great big world and know that others are in the same boat! Hope things work out real soon.

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C.C.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Maybe she is eating too much for dinner and then by the time it all settles, it is waking her up and that is why she is taking the warm water. Maybe not give her so much at dinner, and still let her have a snack before bed.. Food can do funny things!!!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I feel for you it is tough when you get interupted sleep.
It sounds like your daughter is waking up out of habbit, both my kids did this, and with both of them I let them cry it out, it worked.
The first night was hard, when they first woke I would go in and rub their back for just a moment, just to let them know they weren't alone, and then leave the room, eventually they would go back to sleep, eventually I wouldn't enter the room I would just wait and they would go back to sleep. With each consecutive night the crying got less until finally a full nights sleep. With my first born it took 4 nights, my son on and off for about a week. Letting them cry it out is h*** o* Mommy, but teaching them good sleep habits is a great gift you can give them.

Good luck.

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H.W.

answers from Des Moines on

My daughter is also 11 mo old and this same exact thing happended to me. Instead of an ear infection, she had the flu right after Christmas. She was waking up again and again at night and I was not getting any sleep ever. Finally, I just had to bare through 4-5 nights of crying, not go in there, and it finally stopped. Now she sleeps from 8pm-7am.

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C.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

If she was sleeping thru the night at 6 months she is not waking to eat! She probably got attention from you when she awakened during her ear infection and is continuing to crave that. Don't feed her at night and let her cry it out. I will be painful for a night or two, but within a week you should be getting sleep. :) Tough love and this works because I have done it with both my boys after they reverted back after a sickness. Good luck!!

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would let her cry it out. Do it on a weekend when you son can sleep in or take a nap if he's tired. You can go in a soothe her - but don't pick her up. Tell her it's ok, mommy loves you, time for bed, turn on the music then leave. Give it 5 minutes, go back in, 10 minutes, try again. Sounds like just habit right now - she needs to learn again how to put herself back to sleep.

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