How Do I Get My 3 Year Old to Go Poo in the Potty?

Updated on March 21, 2009
C.A. asks from Deep Gap, NC
11 answers

My son turned 3 in February. He is completely potty trained when it comes to going pee in the potty but he refuses to go poopy in the potty! He knows what the feeling is when he needs to go because when he needs to go he runs in his room and shuts the door. The only time he goes is if I run in his room and pick him up and sit him on the potty. There are times that he will poo in his underwear when I am unaware of it. When he does he comes up to me with a huge grin on his face and says "I poopied in my underwear Mommy." I have not once scolded him for doing it because I have had many people say do not because it can reverse the process. I am at the end of my rope! I really don't know what to do. If you have any suggestions for me please let me know! Thanks so much!

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M.Z.

answers from Charlotte on

My son did not realize he needed to poop in the potty (he was 2)-- he was peeping and we would put a diaper on him at naptime and bedtime and he would always poop in that. We tried putting him on the potty and reading books to him for 30 minutes, etc... nothing worked. Then I took his doggie (his favorite stuffed toy) and I held doggie over the potty (making grunting noises) and I quickly slipped some raisins into the potty. I exclaimed "Wow-- great job Doggie! Way to poop in the potty!" I then gave Doggie a Hersey kiss-- My husband and I talked it up all night at dinner and made a big deal out of it. The next day-- he pooped in the potty (Scout's honor)! It's worth a try!

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A.P.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi Caterine,
I know the feelin: (3 kids) all of whom are potty trained now!!!! Yeah! It will happen, i always liked using the "sticker chart" thing. I would get a sheet of construction paper and some stickers and let them pick out a sticker when they pooed to put on a chart when they got so many stickers (say 10 15 , etc ) i would take them to Dollar Tree or somewhere cheap and let them pick out a toy they wanted as a reward, I used the sticker chart for LOTS of things and it seemed to work well.
A. Petty
Mentor with a Purpose
Mom with Peace
Stayin Home and Lovin It

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R.C.

answers from Nashville on

I didn't think my daughter would EVER poop in the potty. We resorted to bribes as well and basically left it all up to her. It will happen.

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S.T.

answers from Clarksville on

I literally went through this exact same issue last month with my daughter. She turned 3 feb 20th. She was fully trained peeing in the potty in a week but she would refuse to poop. I tried having her be naked, and she pooped on the floor. I tried the big girl discussion and she didn't care. I didn't try bribing because I don't rellay believe that's a good way to encourage them if possible. The way I found that worked within a week, and everyone laughed at me, was to get her disney princess panties. I told her, this is cinderella, and cinderella does not like to be pooped on because that's gross. It took a week, and a few accidents, but then it clicked for her. Every time she would have an accident I would say oh no, you pooped on the princess! Do you think she likes that? She would apologize to the character and I would tell her I know you're a big girl, and you'll get the hang of this, but you are not wearing pullups anymore. I hope that maybe this helps :) Also, please remember no one goes off to college sleeping in a crib, wearing diapers, or sucking a pacifier or thumb, so this too shall pass lol.

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A.T.

answers from Lexington on

Hi C.!

I have been in the same situation until the last couple of weeks. I just got my 3 1/2 year old to poo in the potty, so I feel your pain! I did talk to my pediatrician at her 3 yr old appt. and he said that she will do it when she is ready.....

That being said, here are a couple of things I tried. What worked was what I think a comination of two things. When we were at home, I didn't let her wear bottoms. So she didn't have anything to go poo in. Also I had tried many different bribes (stickers, big girl panties, cupcakes, jellybeans, marshmellows, ect - we don't do a lot of sweets so I thought these would work) The bribe that worked was telling her she could go to the jelly bean store and pick out her own jellybeans. My point is - find the bribe that works!

Good luck and hang in there!

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

I agree. My son is 2 1/2 and has been completely trained since September of last year. He was a rock star at the peepee, but not so much the poop. So, I took a mason jar and filled it up with bright, colorful, yummy M&Ms and put it right by the potty. I sat him down and said, "ok..from now on, when you peepee in the potty, you get 2 M&Ms and when you poop in the potty, you get FIVE M&Ms!!" His little face lit up and that was that. We didn't even make it to the bottom of the jar before it wasn't even an issue anymore. I'm definitely not too good for bribery!! =0)

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J.K.

answers from Raleigh on

My son also avoided pooping on the potty, but we had a less messy problem--he held it in for days, until he was in pain. I put a diaper on him and told him that after he pooped, he could put his underwear on. After about 2 weeks of this process, he decided he'd try the potty, and he did fine from there.

It's pretty scary for them to poop on the potty--my son thought he might fall in. And the timing of the whole thing is harder. If your son goes at a certain time each day, you might just put a diaper on him and go back to underwear once he goes. If it's really unpredictable, I might go back to diapers until he initiates pooping on the potty (if he is motivated by wearing underwear).

Not sure if this is helpful or not. Sounds like he might be close, but those messy pants are frustrating!

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M.N.

answers from Raleigh on

I had the same problem with my daughter. I bought a gummi tarantula (her favorite) and said "when you poop in the potty, it's yours"... it took a few days but the lure of the reward broke her down.

Is it a bribe or a motivational incentive? What ever you want to call it, if it gets them to do it...

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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

C., great ideas, however, I personally don't like the idea of bribing with sweets...this sets them up for eating sweets as a congratulations during their lives, which also leads to being overweight. Talk to your doc, they'll agree. Anyway, for my kids, I let them stay in it and told them that they would have to sit on the kitchen floor until I had time to change and clean them up. Pretty soon, it would become uncomfortable and they would be upset. Then I would clean them and remind them that they should go to the potty so they didn't have to be dirty. Scolding is necessary for children to know what they have done is not acceptable. I don't mean yelling and screaming, but you can give a "look" that tells them you are not happy with what they have done and at this age, tell them your not happy. If he is sensitive enough to your feelings it will bother him and he'll want your praise instead. Most children do. Best of luck to you and hope this helps! You're doing a great job!

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G.G.

answers from Charlotte on

My son wasn't completely trained until 3 yrs 3 months (he's 11 now and I STILL remember because it was a big relief!!!) Thank goodness my other three were easy to potty train!

Make sure you take the poop from his underwear and put it in the toilet. Have him with you and say "let's go put this where it belongs." Let him flush it. Sometimes kids don't like to see "a part of themself" flushed down the toilet and it might comfort him if you are taking it away and he doesn't have to see it! By him flushing, he'll get over that part. Once he flushes, give him a high five or something to make him see that's where it goes and he did a good job. THEN, have him help you scrub out the underwear and, not in a scolding manner, let him know it's yucky and that you hope he tries to go right into the toilet next time. One day it will click, but he'll decide when!

Good luck! (We did an excited Poopy Dance every time there was success and give him loads of hugs and positive attention. Bribes... uh, rewards work too!)

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G.W.

answers from Clarksville on

He may not be ready completely. Some kids do it as a control issue. I suggest making him a part of the clean up process. Does he do it in his undies? He helps put the poop in the toilet, wipes his own bottom (you give it the last wipe), and put the soiled clothing in the wash. You might try a chart where he gets a sticker or mark for doing it right, and one taken away when he messes, with a treat at the accumulation of 5 stickers. Good luck!

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