How Do I Get My 20 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night?

Updated on July 01, 2009
L.T. asks from Pembroke Pines, FL
8 answers

My 20 month old daughter hasn't slept through the night...EVER. She wakes up every night crying and yelling for mommy or daddy. It's startling, especially if we are in a deep sleep. It's as though someone pulled a fire alarm in the middle of the night. How can I get her to go to sleep and stay asleep during the night. Since the introduction of a new addition to the fam, she has gotten even worse! Please help.

To tell a little more about our bedtime routine...we start with a warm bath and try to put her down by 7:30 or 8. she usually doesn't fall asleep until almost 9 and that's only if she's in my husbands lap or if i give in and let her have a sippy cup; otherwise we're up with her until sometimes 10 when she just can't hang on anymore. She wakes at various times during the night, no particular rhyme or reason or pattern. Not sure if this helps paint a clearer picture. thanks so far to those of you who have responded!

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Hi! My son got up once per night from the time he was about a year until he was 20 months for a bottle. He is 3 now, but he was only in the 15th percentile for weight and slept from 7:30pm - 2:30am, bottle, then 2:45am - 5:30pm. To this day I am certain he was hungry. Just before his 21st month bday, he dropped the bottle, by himself, just started sleeping through. My point is if they are hungry, they are hungry!

With regards to a sippy cup, if you can transition her to straight water in the sippy, I really see no reason why she can't have it. My husband and his mom both sleep with a glass of water beside the bed and since my son gave up the bottle, he's had a sippy cup in the corner of his crib (now his toddler bed). I've seen him when we put him down have a gulp of water, than put it in the corner, tuck stuffed animals around it and tell them he is saving the water for later. Most of the time he never touches it again before morning.

I know that everyone says not to put a child to bed with a sippy, but since it is water and can't cause cavities, I really don't see a problem as long as the sippy doesn't leak:)

Good luck and hang in there! C.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

It's hard to give advice without more info. It depends a LOT on how you put her down for the night. Often times when a child has their parent with them when they fall asleep, they want them in the middle of the night to fall BACK to sleep. Pretty much everyone wakes in the middle of the night during different sleep cycles-- most of us roll over and fall back to sleep. Some children have a hard time doing that if they were rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, or if their parents stay with them until they fall asleep. Your best bet is to have whatever routine you want and be sure to leave the room and let her fall asleep on her own. For my son (who is almost 3), he has been trying to stall me from leaving the room. I sing to him and he keeps asking for more versions of the song. So before I start, I let him know which verses I'll be singing and then I'll have to go. Lately, I have been telling him that I'll be right back. I tell him I need to put my own PJs on because I'm going to sleep, too. I leave and change into my night clothes, then I linger around for a bit so that at least a total of 5 minutes has passed and then, as promised, I go back in to him. I give him a hug and tell him I have to go. Usually he is fine after that, but of he seems upset, I tell him I have to go wash the dishes (or laundry or something equally boring to him) and that I'll be back soon. I do come back as promised, but he is almost always asleep (or nearly asleep) by then. He has pretty much never woken in the middle of the night (like my first son did, who I rocked to sleep or laid with because I didn't know any better)

3 moms found this helpful
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S.U.

answers from Miami on

Hi Lakisha,

I was wondering if she was truly comfortable throughout the night. If she is wet, she will not be comfortable, and thus she'll be fussy. Take a look at this: http://cheerfulaboutanions.yolasite.com/. The demo is on products for women, but there are diapers that will be available in about 1 month, with the same technology that is shown in the demo. The number one thing consumers look for in any type of sanitary product: protection-super absorption so effective that there is no wetness next to the skin even after a full day or night of wear.

I went back and looked at your message and it seems like you are saying she is waking up during the night, screaming for you. I double checked because I wanted to be sure she wasn't just fussing from the time you put her down. It may well be that she is wet during the night and is feeling uncomfortable.

Another benefit of the product in the demo is negative ions. These have a balancing effect on the body, so I'm sure this product could be useful in calming her. Negative ions can be used to treat illness and improve health.

To show you just how powerful this technology is, please look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI8z5pIPE44.
The company believes that "Technology is Love." Their intent is to create beneficial products via technology that are healthy. If you'd like to know more about this technology and/or product, please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com. I'd be happy to assist with any info that may help you and your family.

Also, concerning the milk, I'd like to suggest a book called Fit for Life. It talks about milk and especially cow's milk and its effects. If you are giving her that, she may have indigestion, or even bloating during the night from gas. If you are going to give her milk, I'd suggest one of the natural ones from plants like oat, almond, rice milks.

Also, a health food store like Whole Foods Market will have baby cereal that is like cream of wheat, cream of rice etc. I don't suggest the wheat because it activates sinus issues, but the cream of rice is great.

You can put it in the milk (rice, almond, goat, or oat as suggested below) and it will fill her up for the night. She could be just getting hungry because if you put her down at 7 or 8 pm, she would have to sleep almost 12 hours if she was getting up anywhere between 6am and 8am. That's a long time, and she may be getting hungry. If she doesn't fall asleep until almost 10pm, have you tried putting her down at that time with a full bottle? It may work.

Good Luck, and let me know if I can assist you in any way.

S.

K.N.

answers from Miami on

Good Morning,
Although life is hectic, if you can, read her a small childrens book before bed. The special attention and with her mind on the special time she gets with mommy will help her! May God Guide & Bless you and your family!
Sincerely,
Kathy N.

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T.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

I thought i was the only one who hasn't slept in years due to my daughter. She is now 3yrs and we finally got her to sleep mostly throu the nite. She gets up sometimes once or twice to go to the potty. A few nites she has even slept though the nite.

When she was younger i was up a quite a few times and never could get her to go back to sleep in her own bed. Look at supernanny.com for bedtime routine and stuff. Plus its common for little ones to have dreams that scare them as their imaginations are just forming.

We stuck to a bedtime routine and a lullaby i made up. If she woke up, i comforted her and sang the lullaby again. It took a few times and a couple of nite but finally she started to sleep in her own bed and not so much waking up at nite.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Ditto everything Tammi said.

Without knowing what your bedtime routine is, it is very difficult to offer any specific advice. But know that if they fall asleep with you present, they will need you to fall asleep if they should wake during the night. That's just the way it is.

There are lots of ways to transition to a different bedtime routine, but without knowing what you are doing now, it is impossible to offer suggestions about change.

Can you tell us more about what you are currently doing?

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

i always seem to 'blame' milk... Has she had a history of infections (chest, sinuses, ears)?? If yes, this can also lead me to believe she has a problem with milk.

try cutting out ALL milk products for a good month and see if she improves. Remember, if it does nothing, you can always add it back. But check everything - bread, baked goods, soups, sauces, snack foods - these can all contain dairy. The only way to know for sure if milk is a culprit is to remove it ALL.

this means even milk as an ingredient 'hidden' in things. google 'hidden milk ingredients' and you'll find the names of what to look for like whey, rhennet, etc.\
if sleep improves, you'll know it was milk.
but what will she drink?
there is rice milk, hemp milk, almond milk, oat milk (don't try soy bcse about 60% of those who cannot tolerate milk protein cannot tolerate soy either).
Rice milk is a good sub, but it doesn't contain enough fat or protein for a 20 month old. I would likely mix it half and half with hemp milk. Hemp is a great source of protein and omega fatty acids, which are essential for little ones.

You should hopefully be able to find milk-free margarine in your local grocery store. Also I know that coconut yogurt and coconut ice cream is available, but it might only be in specialty store, like Whole Foods
cook foods in a lot of olive oil to add some GOOD FATS into the diet while she's not having milk proteins (lactose free is NOT the same thing; lactose is milk sugar and what you're trying here is to avoid milk PROTEIN).
sounds hard to do but you can do it! you sound desperate...

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

You're working and mothering 3-5 children? YOU should be waking up and crying at night!!!
Some babies like the "night light" but some like the darkness. I and my youngest prefer the total darkness to go to sleep by. My other two prefer a light glowing. What's waking her? A wet diaper, thirst, noises? Could be upset stomach from formula or food - and what about the other children? All ok? Perhaps this one has allergies...to pets, linens, carpet, bedding...
Blessings, S.

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