How Do I Get My 19 Month Old to Stop Nursing?

Updated on September 09, 2008
S.S. asks from Woodland Hills, CA
7 answers

Good morning, I am looking for some suggestions. My goal was to nurse my daughter until she was 12 months… 7 months past my goal I can’t figure out how to get her to stop. While I am at work she stays at home with grandma, drinks out of a glass & doesn’t use a pacifier. As soon as I walk in the door after hugs & kisses she immediately zero’s in on my chest, assumes the position & says, “boo-boo”. At night when she is ready for bed she wants to nurse as well.

I know that she is not receiving any nutritional value at this point & that this is purely psychological… but how do I make her not want this any more?

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So What Happened?

Hi there! Thank you all so much for your thoughts. Not totally willing to give up nursing some of the comments about continuing really stuck a cord. As I mentioned, I am fortunate enough to have my mum living with us to watch my daughter while I am at work. For a week I told her night-night and let grandma put her to bed. When she woke up in the middle of the night grandma gave her water, and all seemed to go well. Started putting her back to bed myself and told her no booby… and it seems to be working well. She can still have the booby when I come home from work, and on the weekends, just not at night.

Thanks again!

More Answers

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go to the La Leche League WEbsite. They have some great information on Weaning as well as the benefits of nursing older babies that might help you understand why she needs to nurse still. I totally understand!
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I nursed my daughter until she was 19 months old as well, I got pregnant, so I felt I had to stop. The night I decided to stop, I held her close and rocked her and I had a talk with her that now she's a big girl, she knows how to eat food and drink milk from a cup, there's no more "nana". She maybe cried painstakingly for 30 SECONDS!!! and that was it. I, on the other hand, cried for 3 hours :o) Part of me felt so sad that our time together nursing was over and never coming back, I had this sense of loss.
I hope you have an easy transition, I see that you've got lots of good advise. The kids really understand more than we think oftentimes.

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
Here's my two cents: Maybe it's her way to still connect with you, especially since you're working hard at work all day and it might just be something special she still wants to share with you. I totally understand how hard it can be, but you may want to try to enjoy the closeness and bond you share, one that she can't have in the same way with anyone else, and let it continue until she decides to stop, only because when she no longer wants it/you in the same way it will likely be bittersweet. I say try to enjoy it since it'll be gone in the blink of an eye in the whole scheme of her life. Anyway, I wish you good luck and am sure you will figure out what's right for both of you! :)
J.

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am in the same boat! I actually posted a similar question last week. My daughter's 26 months and still nursing. I'm home with her all day so I can't really say it's a "connection" thing. She just loves it so much! And there actually is nutritional value still. I like to think of it as giving her a multi-vitamin every day. It's still a good source of fat, protein, calcium, iron etc. Putting lemon juice on the nipples seems to work for a lot of women. My doctor suggested giving her chocolate milk instead since breast milk is so sweet, but I don't want to trade one addiction for another! Changing the nighttime routine I heard works.

I wish you luck and if something DOES work, let me know!!!

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I totally understand! I just went through this with my 15 month old son...he was a boobie-holic. He would get so desperate for boob, crying, etc. What I did was just stick it out for 2 days of anguish as i said no, sorry and he cried. a friend of mine recommended this: wear tight high-necked shirts, perhaps keep before bed feeding for another week or so, but just stop during the day.

We had a quick relapse when my son got a fever and i nursed him durning the day - when he got better it was back to crying out for boobie all day long...but this time it took only 1 day of denial for him to stop.

our relationship is actually much better now that he's not looking at me as one large mammary gland.

i have heard that there's no signficant nutritional value left, but i've also heard that there is...so who knows. I just know that our relationship needed to progress on.

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

OK, I had the same problem as you, and you'll laugh, but I finally told my son there was "no more." I stayed firm on that, and he really got that there was nothing in there to give. He gave it up very easily after that. Don't know if it will work for you, but you might want to give it a shot. Good luck!

C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is still nutritional and immune value to nursing. There is emotional value as well. What a gift to give her the security and comfort of nuzzling at your breast for a little longer! I say, keep going, just a little longer down that road. Ideally, she will self-wean when she is ready at 2 - 2 &1/2 years, which is totally normal and natural.

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