How Do I Ever Get Some Time to Myself?

Updated on August 27, 2008
M.L. asks from Gardner, KS
8 answers

Hi ladies

I am a young single mom of three kids (ages 5, 7, and 8)trying to figure out how to get some time to myself. I barely make enough money for the bills so I can't afford a sitter and my only family lives almost 6 hours away. I have a friend who watches them every now and then but I don't like asking her too because she works 50+ hours a week and has 4 kids of her own to take care of! Any idea on how I can get a night off?

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So What Happened?

Hi ladies. Thanks for the responses. I work during the day time, after work I go pick up the kids and be mom until they are in bed. I take online classes so I do that after they are asleep. I get maybe 5 hours of sleep a night as it is, so there really is no time for me except on the weekend. The response about staying the night at a friends is a good idea I had not thought of. That might enable me to actualy get out of the house, which is what I am really wanting. I'm only 25 so at some point I would like to be able to date again :)Thanks for all the ideas :)

More Answers

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B.V.

answers from Rockford on

Trade babysitting services with other moms. Don't know any, try a moms group. Everyone is looking for a night out.

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A.K.

answers from Santa Fe on

What I usually do to get time to myself is the kids go to bed early and after they do I have "me" time, read, sleep, take a hot bath. So try either when you wake up before them to get time to yourself or when they go to bed.

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A.G.

answers from Springfield on

Instead of trying to get a babysitter, why not just make the most of the time they're alsleep or in school. Do you have time off from school and work during the week? You could also try to arrange your classes so you have a free night, set a date to pamper yourself - and keep it.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Why don't you see if your two oldest can arrange to spend the night at a friends house the same weekend your youngest is with her dad?

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M.B.

answers from Topeka on

Hi M., I feel your pain!! I was a single mom of two for 13 years, the father was completely out of the picture all of this time, my decision and the courts as well, and now am the mom to 6,my 2 kids(20 & 16) 3 full time step kids and a 6 year old with my husband of almost 7 years.Am I crazy---YES! I now have a moment to myself because the youngest just started all day kindergarten, my oldest is 20, so I have been doing this parenting thing a long time and know how you feel. I can now go the bathroom while they are in school without someone beating on the door saying MOOOOOOOOM, I need.... or she/he did.....I'm hungry.....Yahoo!! I think all of the posts are really good ideas and you should try whatever you can, it's very important to have time to yourself to regroup. I am very proud of the fact that you are doing online college, I am looking to start my career up again and do it for the love of it instead of Survival. Check out the local parents night out deals with the Parks and Rec. dept. or on the internet for moms night out deals. I wish I had checked these things out when I was a single mom, I probably wouldn't have so much gray hair now, I'm 39 and holding on for dear life.:) Good luck!!
M. B.

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A.J.

answers from Springfield on

Hi!

You should be the "poster child" for my child care service! This is exactly why I started the whole thing! I have been a single mom (4 kids)going on 11 years now & I know you NEED A BREAK! But, I also know that child care is expensive.
I have been thinking about offering weekend "Sleep-Over" (pizza & movies) nights for a special discounted rate in order to "celebrate" or kind of reinforce my original idea for child care. Please check my website out for more specific info:
http://msalishaskidkare.tripod.com
you can also review my business right here on momsource-I'm listed here somewhere...=)
I don't like posting my rates online, but if you might be interested, definitely email me & we can chat anytime!
Sincerely-
-Ms. A.

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D.G.

answers from Springfield on

Hey M.,
I so remember those days . I was a single parent for 9 years, left a wife beater when I was 6 months pregnant and we already had a two year old. I worked 3 jobs and they did not spend time with their father either. I am now remarried ( for 10 years ) have 4 children and those two little ones are now 20 & 18 and I can tell you this , looking back that time flew by. I now have a home based business ( needed this company then for sure) and as far as time , it will be gone and they will be grow before you know it so as hard as being a single mom is try to enjoy the journey and everyone needs a break so maybe you can exchange babysitting with someone local. Good luck and god bless. There's a special place for single moms in heaven!
D.
www.Debs.ceofamilies.com

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L.M.

answers from Joplin on

Check into churches or community centers. Here where we live, they offer "parents night out" and you do not have to belong or have membership. I found that trying to get me time by trying to get up early or go to bed later, simply did not work for me. I was so exhausted that when they went to sleep, I quickly followed behind them. Getting up early was also almost impossible...I wanted every second I could get! But everybody is different. It may work for you. During my nearly 21 years of parenting, I went though a period when I was divorced and I personally relate to how little time a mom can get for herself. It was luxury just to get in the bath for longer than 10 minutes without someone banging on the door yelling "mommmmm".

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