Hi! So my husband and I have been married almost 13 years and have 2 kids. We have rented either an apartment or house the whole time. Never owned a home. We finally bought our first (and hopefully forever) home. It's a new construction and it won't be ready for move in until this coming spring. We are beyond excited and this has always been a huge dream of ours. My husband would like to have a house warming party. I have been going back and forth with it. I would love to have all our friends and family over to see the new place but I don't want to anyone to feel that we are only after gifts. There are things we need for the house. Our dining (and only) table is broken and I'm just waiting for the day it collapses but we are waiting to get a new one until the house is ready (hoping it will last a few more months) and just some other small things we will need. Everything I have read about house warming parties, says that the guests traditionally give gifts. Would it be tacky to have a party but say no gifts on the invite? I just feel weird about accepting gifts when we can provide the things we need on our own. My husband doesn't care if people bring a gift or not, he just likes to have people over :) Thanks!
Thanks everyone! I won't say anything about gifts on the invite. The house estimated date to be finished is late April or early May. We don't have an exact date yet. We aren't sports fans but maybe we could have a BBQ and grill up some burgers and hot dogs and just say to come on over for dinner and we could set up some water games or something for the kids. Maybe pot luck style :) Thank you!
and Cheryl, of course you guys are invited!!!
Well, you know WE will be there (here I go assuming we'll be invited!! :) )
Any way - tell people you want to include people in the new home...and they are welcome to come over on X date for an open house....from x to x....no gifts please...
For a new dining room table?? Craigslist!! Call me and I'll show you some on the Reston/Herndon on-line Garage sale - if they are still available!!
mentioning gifts at all, in any context, starts off the feelings of discomfort. some people will still want to bring gifts but feel funky because you said not to, others will obey you and then feel embarrassed when they see that other people brought gifts anyway.
don't manage the gift thing. and if you really don't want gifts, don't call it a house warming. just have people over it. call it 'meet the house' or something.
it's not like anyone's going to bring you a new dining room table, right?
congrats, and enjoy! how exciting!
khairete
S.
I would not call it a house warming party - to me, that suggests gifts, whether you say so or not. I would simply have an open house - "Please join us for cocktails and appetizers in our new home, April 11 from 2 to 6, Open House."
I don't think you can really tell people not to bring gifts. It just makes it uncomfortable for everyone. People who don't bring a gift feel guilty, those who do feel guilty, and anyone who really doesn't want to give one won't bother (or very rarely, won't come). You can't specify what you want/need either (I know wedding gift registries have taken this to an uncomfortable level, and it's even worse when people ask for cash toward their honeymoon and not a lasting gift). You just have to be gracious.
So yes, absolutely have a house warming party! You are excited about your home, you invite people in to see and share your joy. Period. Some people will bring a gift, but it's not really different from a standard hostess/host gift - some will bring a bottle of wine, some may bring flowers (be sure you unpack a few vases just in case so you aren't scrambling!), some will bring a card, others may or may not bring a household item. No, you aren't setting up a household for the first time (but then again, neither are most newlyweds anymore!), so you don't need a toaster and a vacuum - but you won't get those anyway.
Just because you can afford to buy a blender doesn't mean you say to people "I have money so I don't need your charity" - which is how many will take the "no gifts" request. Some people will say something like "your presence is present enough" but even that is getting overdone. It's not really proper etiquette even though people do it so much.
Your true friends will know that this is not a gift grab - it's just a wonderful occasion to celebrate. Let them share in your joy and excitement in any way they wish. Some will joke that you probably spent your last time on your mortgage and therefore need a few things, others will just express their happiness with a little something. Accept it!
If you want to make it seem a little more casual, you can call it an "open house" so people know to drop in whenever they want, but then you don't usually ask for RSVPs. That can make the food prep a little iffy because you have no idea who's coming and when.
Honestly, I would invite the people I know and love the best, assume that they will be just as thrilled for you as you are for yourselves, and let them come. When you have birthday parties, do you specify "no gifts"?? I just don't think there's a nice way to tell people what to do - you let them do what they feel is appropriate, and then you thank them. Go ahead, enjoy it!!
No house warming party ever helps buy furniture.
Mostly people gift you with small decorating items - candles, a vase, etc.
I don't know about you but I've got enough dust catchers to last me forever and then some.
So - don't call it a house warming party!
Hold a first annual chili cook off or barbeque or pot luck - have people bring side dishes/appetizers/desserts while you provide the main dish/meat.
If people are bringing food to a pot luck - they won't think to bring gifts.
I truly hope that WW knows you and was not being rude.
When Tyler and I moved here and bought our home? We had an Open House. We invited people from the neighborhood, family and friends.
I do love the idea of having a party and making it like a BBQ or chili cook off or even a dessert "contest"? And making it an annual event?
Congratulations on your new home! How exciting to have one built to your specifications!!
I'm going to go ahead and second B's idea and suggest that you actually CALL the party a PARTY in your new house of some kind other than a house warming party.
If the clear REASON for the gathering is to see your new house, many people will feel like they should bring a gift (some people are going to bring a "hostess gift" regardless) but if you give people a way to celebrate IN your house instead of celebrating the house itself, you'll have better luck.
Are you sports fans? March madness? Is anyone's birthday around that time? Host an Easter brunch potluck?
Good luck.
T.
Congratulations on your new home. It is exciting, scary, frustrating, and a wonderful adventure all in one!!!
As for the party, do you happen to know or are familiar with any of the neighbors?
Around here, our neighborhood is HUGE so we have a group that is mostly on our block and we expand it to other friends in the area. Here is what we do.....
Each year someone hosts a HUGE crawfish boil in the spring. In the fall, just before Thanksgiving, someone hosts the annual turkey trot where everyone who wants to run/walk does and while they are on the trot, the rest of us have potluck dishes for brunch, mimosas, etc. We've also done burgers and dogs for the 4th of July. All parties include activities for the children. We take turns hosting.
If you did something like that, it could be an initial party to meet everyone and then have a tradition to carry out each year!! That way, it is not obvious as a house warming or open house where some people would feel inclined to bring a gift.
Even at our traditional parties, everyone brings something for the party, food, alcohol, children's activities, etc..
Best wishes with your move and Congratulations!
You can word the invite with "please no gifts, your presence is present enough"
But be gracious if people bring a gift.
I am in the same boat, we just moved into a brand new home. We are plannnig a party, but do not need gifts. I know a few people will still bring them, but we are fortunate to not need anything.
I think an open house is the way to go. Everyone will know this is your new home. Some might bring a little something some may not. Congratulations!
I certainly don't think it is tacky to say "no gifts, please".
I don't know if you are "into" this kind of thing but you could use the opportunity to help out a homeless shelter or battered women's shelter in your area. "We are thankful to be so blessed as to have a lovely new home that we would love to share with you as our guests. If you feel the need to bring a gift please consider bringing towels or toiletries to be donated to ..... shelter". You could contact the shelter to see what their greatest needs are and list those things. Just an idea.
Congratulations on your new home!!
M
I don't think you need to worry about your friends and family thinking its a gift grab, unless you've had a (or several) housewarming parties in the past. It's your first home, and everyone will want to see it and celebrate with you. And some may want to bring presents.
I usually bring a gift or dish to any party I've been invited to. The one invitation that said your prescence is present enough made me feel very awkward. People still brought presents, which made me uncomfortable-but it was still a good time.
People might feel odd about coming without a gift but you can head it off by requesting something for a charity. My daughter does that for my youngest granddaughter's birthday party every year. The local foodbank gets a lot of food and my daughter doesn't have to worry about where to put 50 new toys.
I think you should call it what it is, it's a Housewarming Party. You can put on the invite something like, no gifts please, your gift of friendship is all we need. Some people may still bring a plant or something but that's ok. Its to celebrate your new home and getting gifts for that is ok. Why are we so anti-gift now? People are supposed to give gifts if they want to. I wouldn't worry so much about it. Congrats on the house and good luck.
Don't mention the house in the invitation at all. Invite them over for a pot luck, a game night, movie night, etc....just invite them over and they'll see the house.
When a friend bought her first home, she invited friends and family for a blessing of the home. She just wrote up a little note saying she bought her first home and to please join her for a blessing. The mentioned appetizers and buffet. I was to able to go but I think she had easy to carry foods like fried chicken and finger foods. Some people brought additional foods or drinks, some brought her little gifts, plants etc. Some did not bring anything,.
It is always tacky to mention gifts on an invitation, even to say no gifts. Really. Look it up on Emily Post. Don't over think gifts. People will likely bring gifts no matter how you word the invite. I bring a gift whenever I go to a party, dinner, or event at someone's home, it is the proper thing to do. For a housewarming, people don't bring elaborate gifts. Common gifts would be wine, a plant, candles, dish towels, nice soap, a vase, etc. Just go with it.
You could have an "open house" as opposed to a house warming party. Most people don't bring gifts to an open house.
Call it an open house instead of a housewarming and then let people do what makes them feel good - gifts or no gifts.
