Helping Kids Help Out

My boys know that there are certain chores we do every day. If they aren't done, some times that means taking away TV time, sometimes that means going to time out, some times that means whatever toys are left out, they don't get to play with the next day, but if they do them they get thank yous and know they are doing right. Some times we have Friday treats just because they are doing so great. Try to make it a positive experience. Make it a game....who can clean up the toys the fastest? Ready....Set...Go! My boys love that!

I don't know of ANY kid that does their chores without reminders. Mine certainly don't!

We pay $1 per chore per week. My older boys have 10 chores each, so they can earn a max of $10 per week allowance. There are chores around the house that the have to do with no pay. The chores include do your wash (Yes, I make my boys do their wash!), dishes, sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor, cleaning their bathroom (amazing how their aim improved with that one!), taking care of pets (with adult oversight- they are live creatures after all), keeping their room clean, helping with yard work, that sort of thing.

If the chores do not get done, they don't get paid. If they have a play date or some extracurricular activity, they can't go until the chores are done. If we are going to do something fun as a family, chores have to be done first.

Just make a list, make your expectations clear, define the consequences for non compliance and stick to your guns. It will be hard at first, but all will get used to it in time.

I don't know what age your kids are, but I do it and "invite" them to help me. I try to show enthusiasm and give them their own piece of the work to do. If I am doing laundry, I let them help me fold it.

For some reason when everyone is doing it, it makes it more fun and rewarding.

You make things a daily "routine."
Make a poster. On it put down what each child does. And you or they check it off.
Make the 'chores' something that IS attainable for the child per their age and maturity. So that they are able, to do it.

Sometimes I tell my kids, if they don't help the FAMILY... then if they want my help... I will not. It is about COOPERATION and helping the FAMILY. We ALL help. Even if we don't want to.

I tell my kids, okay so you are hungry or need something. What if I told you "No, I don't feel like cooking. I don't feel like washing your underwear. I'll do it when I want to... ?"
Then they get the idea.
They know the difference between something that takes TEAMWORK and something that is just, a "self" thing.

Not sure how old they are. If they are old enough, I would tell them once that you will not be reminding them. Then if they don't do it, when they ask for something else simply say, "not this time because you didn't do the chores you were asked to do". Let them learn the natural consequences of not helping out.

My boys are 8 and 15 there has been a standing rule forever, you do what I want you to do I will do what you want me to do. Dont ask me for a ride, money for a movie, can you go hang out unless your chores are done. There are three standard chores a day that are to be done before I get home from work. It is not rocket science, if the chores aren't done don't ask for anything.

My son is almost 15.
I have a list on the fridge breaking down daily, weekly, and monthly chores for both of us.
I often have to remind him of his. If I don't, they don't get done, then I get mad and yell, then it all goes downhill.

I have explained to him that I am tired of reminding, and that at his "advanced" age he needs to step up. And he is trying. I notice that it takes less reminders, or he will tell me, "don't worry, I am going to go do X".

I pay him a flat monthly allowance that covers chores, pet care, lawn mowing, whatever. But it is the only money I give him each month - he can spend it anyway he likes - save it, buy games, extra lunch at school, whatever. If he does not get his chores done, I do not pay him. I recently told him that if he does not consistently get his chores done, I will stop paying him for the rest of the year. He is doing much better now. LOL

It is about consistency, positive reinforcement, and set consequences. In my case, since there is only my son and me, I have taught him that we are a team and our home is *our* responsibility.

Good Luck
God Bless

Kevin Leman, author of "Making Kids Mind Without Losing Yours," has a great suggestion (I think): If the job doesn't get done in a set time that you have discussed, ask one of the siblings to do it that you know will do it and then pay that child out of the negligent one's allowance. He said it about cleaning a room. It would only happen once if my son cleaned my daughter's room as she would have hated for her brother to touch her stuff!