Helping 7 Year Old Cope with Loss of Pet

I don't know how religious your family is, but in our family we realize when our pet leaves us that it is going to heaven and that puppy or whatever is now God's puppy. God now takes care of our pets and when it is our time to go to heaven we can see our pet again. Just like people we will miss them here on earth but we will see them again. If religion is the way you want to go then I would recommend saying a prayer together for your pet saying how much you will miss them and pray for their passage to heaven.

Perhaps you could have a little memorial service with family pictures of the dog, or drawings and your son could say his favorite things about Boomer. Maybe if he understood that his dog is in a lot of pain and this is going to make the dog not feel so bad anymore. My childhood dog was 15 when she died, even though I was older, I cried so much. I wrote about her in my journal. Writing feelings down always helps kids according to child psychologists. They learn exactly what it is they are feeling that way. Otherwise, it's hard to address emotions. Also, by you expressing your grief will help him understand it's okay to be sad. Once it is all out on the table, the grieving process will be much smoother. (internet search for grieving pets will give you ideas)

A.,

I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost my "Best Friend" Selina(cat)unexpectedly at 14.5 in March. I was devastated and cried for what seemed weeks.

I too suggest you let him read "The Rainbow Bridge". I truly believe we will see our loved ones, human and animal, again some day. I think this might help him understand. There is also a Candle Light Ceremony that you all can do for Gidget and Boomer. You can have their names added to the list and this might help your son see that other people care about his loss as well.

My prayers are with you.

Patricia

A. - well thanks for making my mascara run! I am a blubbering mess! Oh, I am so very, very sorry. I cannot even begin to express my sympathies. I come from a very big pet-loving family - we're all the rescuers. And I have had to put way too many pets to sleep. It's never easy, and through that grief, you also need to help your son.

I don't know if you know the poem Rainbow Bridge - you can find it at www.petloss.com. This is a great poem. Maybe you can read it with your son. Frame it with pictures of your babies.

Perhaps building a memorial in your yard - have your son design it and then help him build it.

Consider having a memorial service to honor both pets. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but just as we formalize saying goodbye to humans, we should also do the same for our four legged family members.

When I was a child and I had to put my first cat to sleep, my mother bought me a book called "The 10 good things about Barney" - which was about a cat that had died and how the little boy coped with it. I still have the book - it meant that much to me. And everytime I have to put a pet to sleep, I dig that book out and read it. Maybe go to Barnes and Noble online and find a good book about the death of pets and go and buy it for your son.

Here I go crying again. I am so, so sorry for your losses. I hope that maybe I have given you a few ideas that might help your family cope with your loss. You will be in my prayers.

S.

Hi A..

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I haven't yet experienced having to put a "down", and cannot imagine the pain you are feeling with the loss- as well having to explain and watch your child deal with it, too.

However, some things that came to mind though--

Maybe you could get one of those pet memorial stones personalized with your dog's name on it and place it in the yard so that whenever your son/family wants to be "closer" to the Boomer and/or Gidget- they can go to the garden/yard and "talk" to them. This site has memorial stones in which you can make/personalize yourself all for $20: http://www.pretentiouspooch.com/store/memorystonekit.html
Maybe your family could do this project together and it may help your son emotionally- knowing he can just go to the yard/stone area and "talk" to Gidget and Boomer.

Also- maybe compile a scrapbook type album for your son with pictures of Gidget/Boomer. I know it won't help take away the grief, but it may help him remember those happy memories with the dog(s)!

Also, what about getting him a necklace with a charm on it symbolizing the dog(s). Maybe a pawprint or dog charm? Then he can wear the necklace and feel "closer" to them...

There is a great website for helping kids cope with grief: http://www.griefhealing.com/article18.htm

I hope this helps!

Best of luck to you,
Suzette