Help with Wetting the Bed

Hi S.,
We have things in common. I am also a teacher (not currently working as a teacher) and I have 3 children who have all experienced the same bedwetting problem. After years of being sleep deprived, I found an online store called The Bedwetting Store. They offer many resources and solutions for children with night-time bedwetting. The Malam Alarm worked to "cure" my oldest child around age 12. My middle child stopped bedwetting at age 8 without the alarm (she was scared to death of it) and we are still having trouble with my youngest, age 10, as the alarm still does not wake her up. We did not discover this company until my oldest was 11. It took about a year of using the alarm nightly, I believe, because we did not intervene earlier.

Hope this information has helped. You are not alone.
PJ

My daughter had the same problem. I took her to a pediatric urologist and he found that the flap blocking the flow of urine back into the urinary tract was too short...as a result, her urine was flowing back into her bladder and causing it to get pock marked and she could not hold it when she relaxed at night. I encourage you to get your son checked. It took a while for her bladder to heal but she is all better now.

My daughter had this same problem. She slept in pull ups till she was 5. We used a bedwetting alarm. It took a few weeks before she recognized the sound and could wake up but she is 10 now and has not had a problem since then. Apparently she was such a deep sleeper that her muscles would relax and she would wet the bed. The alarm is horribly high pitched and she slept thru it the first few times as well. If you need the name of the company we used I can get it at home and send it to you. It was quite expensive but worth it for her self esteem.

My son is 7 and we still have that problem. We don't use the pull ups just the sheet protector for the bed. We have experimented with him and have a routine down. If he falls out of the routine he will pee in the bed. He stops eating and drinking at 7pm and then he will go as many times as possible before his 8:30pm bed time. He has to get enough sleep and he can do it. If he stays up too late or eats and drinks after 7pm then this doesn't work. If he pees in the bed he has to shower and wash his own stuff and he isn't allowed to play any computer games which is his favorite thing to do. That gives him incentive to stick with the routine. We have talked to his pediatrician and he has said it doesn't become a health issue until he becomes 11-12 and is still doing it. It's a daily battle and some days are successful and some days aren't. Our guy is a HEAVY sleeper. We can wake him up in the middle of the night too. He doesn't remember it ever.

Get on line or ask your pediatrician about an alarm device. It hooks onto your childs underwear and sounds and the drop of liquid. This will wake the child to go to the restroom. 2 weeks to a month and they are cured.

I, too, had a son that wet the bed every night. We used bed wetting alarms, taking away privileges, waking him up in the middle of the night, rewards for a dry night, punishing him with a cold shower in the morning, etc, etc,. He is a special child and now a grown man 28 years old. He has a learning disabilty with an IQ of about a 70 almost mentally retarded. He had no friends who called him up or ask him to play. His speech is still sometimes hard to understand. He was the middle child of 3 boys.

What we found was that he was very frustrated in school and could not focus. He would try, but failed in many things, He could not learn as "normal children" and we later learned that he needed a smaller setting. He would still wet the bed at 8 or 10 years old and until he was moved to the special ed class, he was miserable. We could not face the truth about his special needs. It was a very hard and bitter pill to swallow.

But once he moved to his new school, with a smaller class and more individualized attention, he was on cloud 9. You could see him happy, successful, less stressed and a different little boy.

He is now employed at Walmart, takes the bus as he can't pass the driver's test, and is a highly remarkable young man. He learned how to build bikes and now builds sophisticated BBQ grills in less than an hour. How about that? All he does is look at the pictures and puts things together. He still has no friends, but we enjoy taking him on vacation with us and is our constant happy companion.
HOpe this helps.

usually boys wet during at night and girls during the day. It is usually due to a imature blatter. Seek out your childs doctor to make sure there isnt an infection,then just wait it out....night time underpants work great. Dont make him feel bad he doesnt want to wet the bed. My son out grew this around 6 and his cousin took until almost 7.

Hi S.:

You sound like you're already doing all the things that will help to avoid your son's bed wetting at night. The only other advice I would give you would be for you to be patient.

My oldest son, who is now 14, had the same problem until he was 6 or 7. The doctor expained to me that, sometimes the bladder takes a little longer to mature in some children, more often boys, but that eventually the problem would resolve. The doctor was right. My son quit wetting the bed some time before he turned age 7. So...just get a good mattress cover, some pull-ups for the night time, be patient, and enjoy your son. Good luck!

Hey S.~

I also have a little guy who has this problem. He'll be 5 in June. We've made sure that he doesn't drink too much before bed, but the only thing that has been effective is for one of us to wake him in the night to go potty. Even then, bless his heart, he sometimes wakes up wet, although only rarely. I am pregnant, so I am up in the night anyway, and I usually wake him between midnight and one. He goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up at 7:00. We've just decided that his little body isn't quite ready to wake up on its own, and figure that it will with time. He uses the restroom frequently during the day and drinks more than my other two sons, so I think it's just a case of this is how he is. One thing I tried that I thought would work (but didn't) is having him wear the Pull-Ups that turn cold when they get wet; they didn't wake him up, but maybe that could help your child. The other thing I think is important is that we have tried very hard not to make him feel responsible. We just matter-of-factly change the bed and explain that his body hasn't "caught up" to his big-boy self yet. Now, on the mornings that he wakes up wet, he tells me, changes his clothes, and gets on with his day. I figure it's all part of deal, and I'm glad that he doesn't feel bad because of it. Good luck, and here's hoping for growing bladders! :)
B.

I too have a 5 year old son who still wets the bed. I have two friends who have an 8 and 10 year old that also still wet the bed. What I've been told is not to worry about it and eventually he will outgrow it. I try not to make a big deal about it and just have him sleep in a pull-up. I have talked to the doctor about it and he checked my son out for any physical problems that might cause this but everything appeared to be normal so he too said not to worry about it. I've heard this is very normal, especially for boys!

Have you tried a bedwetting alarm? It has a little clip which attaches to his underwear, and the moment it becomes a little wet, it will sound a shrill alarm. It will hopefully train him to wake up when he starts to wet. We tried it with our son, and if nothing else, it woke me up to deal with the wet bed. After a while, he was able to wake fully before he finished wetting, and continue the job in the bathroom. The alarms are not very expensive and can be purchased online. Or, if you live in the San Antonio area, I have one you can have - at 8 years old my son finally grew out of the bedwetting.

Hi, S.. Does your son have problems with fluid on the ears. Not an earinfection. My daughter constantly had fluid on her ears.When she didn't have tubes in her ears she would wet the bed only at night. She did that until she was 7. Dr put tubes in her aers and it quit. She explained it to be as hearing water sloshing around when she laid down. If you haven;t done so have his ears checked for fluid. Hope this helps

Hi! My son is going to be 8 years old next month and he still wets at night occasionally. We have tried a lot of different methods in order to avert this from happening such as no drinks after dinner and waking him up in the middle of the night to urinate. We also talked to two different pediatricians that said it is totally normal for children to wet the bed up until they are about 12 years old. If bed wetting occurs after 12 years old then medication might be required. We buy my son "Good Nights" or "Pull-Ups Night time". He wears them every night. If he doesn't wet then he uses the same pair the next night. It's a little extra expense, but well worth the peace of mind it gives everyone. My son has always been a very deep sleeper and this is a common characteristic of bed wetters. My advice is to not worry too much about him wetting the bed it's pretty common from what the doctors and what I've heard from a lot of other mothers. You can save yourself a lot of stress and extra laundry by using something like "Good Nights".

I know how this is. Bed wetting runs in my family - my mother wet the bed until she was 16 yrs. old. I have a 10 year son who wets the bed. If you have tried all those things and nothing is working, my suggestion would be to buy some pull-ups that he can wear just at night and let him grow out of it. My son is finally having more dry nights than he is wet ones and has even been going to other people's houses to spend the night with friends. It will go away.

J.
www.livetotalwellness.com/janislanz

My sister and cousin wet the bed until they were about 8 years old. My mom and Aunt took them to the doctor and he prescribed some nose spray for them. It was one squirt in each side at night. We were told it was due to the part of your brain that tells you when you need to go to the bathroom falling completely asleep while they slept. I want to say they were on the nose spray for a couple of months and never had anymore problems.

Good luck with it!

Hi, S.,

I am an older woman--63 years old--who wet the bed until I was in 5th grade! And I had to sleep in a double bed with my sister who was 16 months older than I. Her reaction and that of my mother were of great comfort for me.

I may not have much of a "cure" for the situation, but I do know that love and patience mean everything to the child who wets the bed. My sister never got angry or disgusted with me, nor did my mother. As I grew older, I learned to get up and get a bath mat, put it on the wet spot, and go back to sleep. That way no one's sleep was interrupted, and it didn't matter if I changed sheets in the morning or in the middle of the night. Most of the time my sister never woke up or got into the urine. To this day, I cherish the love they showed me until I was able to stop.

The fact that my father used very stern physical punishment with one particularly traumatic incident before the age of 4 probably didn't help at all. But I don't remember ever wetting the bed after fifth grade, which seems like a long, long time when your child is 5. But all I can say is that he doesn't like it either so be sure to love him in the middle of it all.

Take care.
M.

I had three daughters with this problem. One wet the bed until she was 10 years old. I took them to see a Chiropractor actually a Gonstead Chiropractor. He found that they had a spot on their lower back just above their bottom that was out. He says this is common in children because they fall down etc. He fixed the problem in about 6-9 months. We have been completely dry for over a year without meds.

Home school mom of 3.

It is more common than you think, especially for boys. It is not something they are doing intentionally and I would not punish. Use the overnight pants you can get in the store and give him some time. It wouldn't hurt to see your pediatrician just to make sure things are fine, but he probably just needs some more time. Hang in there.

S.,

Please take your son to a pediatrician and have him evaluated. His bladder my be too small or there might be other physical issues at hand. There is a medication, DDAVP, that stops bedwetting at night. My daughter had to use it for years to keep her from wetting the bed. She is a deep sleeper and just could not wake up to go potty. There were other issues at hand that are resolving themselves. But the good news is....Now she is older and can wake up.

Hope this helps..........

P.

Just wanted to let you know. You are not alone in this one. I have the same issues with my son who is 5 1/2 yrs old. Funny thing is if I put him in pullups before bed I've noticed he is dry in the morning but if I don't get him in them before falling asleep - very wet issue!!!

He may have some issue, some sort of trauma that you are unaware of(moving, lost of family member, bullies at school, or even a new family member in the house). But if thats what it is then its helping him cope(Not that that makes it ok, sometimes it just helps to know why) If you cant figure it out then maybe theres nothing there and you might want to try getting mad... I don't know if you have already but letting your child know (and I mean really know and not just you being frustrated) that this isn't excepted behavior and that there will be repercussions if it continues is a good way to nip it in the bud. My daughter and I went round and round about multiple issues, getting out of bed in the middle of the night, wetting the bed, and so on. When I made it clear that it wasnt ok and that she had to stop it started to slow down the incidents and then they stopped all together. I started by getting firm, then every night I told her when she was allowed to get out of bed (fire, bleeding, bathroom- but dont come get mommy just go back to bed, and then finally nightmares-come get mommy) and that other than those times she had to stay in bed till the sun came up. We also put the radio in her room and play the classical music station, turns out thats what they play at school during nap time and it helped. I know it can sound harsh but dancing around they issue isnt going to work. You have done everything in your power and now the power of the voice of MOM may needs to come out.

I know exactly how you feel. My son will be 5 in Oct. and he is still in a pull-up during the night. I talked to my pedi. and he said there was nothing to worry about. He said their bladders are not big enough to hold it through the night yet. I asked if there was anything I could or should do and he said to withhold fluids from him about 1 hr. before bed but that is about it. So take heart you are not alone. I hope this help you.

Put him in pullups and relax. He will grow out of it. My older son did the same til he was 7(?) or so. I tried not putting him in pullups, but he slept so hard he never woke up when he was wet. Dr said some just take longer. Holding back drinks didn't help. I don't agree with waking a child to make him go to the restroom. That's just training you.

take him to a urologist.i did all the same tricks with my 12 yr old (then 7). she wanted to go to overnight camp but was scared. the dr put her on meds(CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME)but it worked like a dream. we are now all dry.

Have you tried cutting out all beverages 2 hours before bedtime? Have you consulted a doctor?

I would suggest watching what he eats and drinks. Anything carbonated or high in color content and sugars is not good. I made a rule in my house "NO SODA". I do not allow my daughter to drink soda and I try to always give her drinks that are 100% juice. Another thing you may want to try is monitor what he is watching before he goes to sleep. Just to be sure he is not frieghten by anything. Set a schedule, no liquids 1 hour before bed. And be sure he goes to the bathroom before he goes to sleep. Try a combination of these things and I am sure the results will be different. Good Luck!!!

My son is 6 years old and is still wearing a night time diaper. He very rarely has an accident during the day, but it happens on occasion. I am not concerned about it b/c my pediatritian has told me that many boys don't have proper control of their bladder at night, their muscles have not matured/fully developed and it will all pass eventually. However, he may need a night time diaper for a few more years.

My son is uncomfortable about his diapers but completely accepts it b/c he prefers a wet diaper to a wet bed, as do I.

Hang in there and don't make a big deal about it. He really can't help it. "This to shall pass."

You may have force yourself to wakeup in the middle of the night to wake up your son. Hopefully this can be done before he wets. I have 2 boys now 15 and 17. The above action I had to do for each child. Sometimes I had to wake up as many as3 time in one night for about two weeks. Aslo, DO NOT let him drink any 1-2 hours before bedtime.

My understanding is that 5 is the earliest a child should be expected to stay dry through the night - some kids do it younger, but they are the exception, not the rule. In other words, it's totally normal that he still wets the bed. Just keep doing what you're doing & he'll get there!

My 17 year old will be 18 in March. He's a BIG boy, but 15 years old, he was still wetting the bed. I tried everything you've tried and then some. Come to find out it was a herridetary condition. I had problems with it to 14, my brother to 15, my Daddy to 14, we detinetly had problems. I finally thew my hands up, went and bought some plastic sheets for the bed. and waited. At 15, he finally quit wetting the bed, Thank God!!! Good Luck!

This is perfectly normal, especially if you or your husband were bed wetters. It's really just a nervous system thing between his brain and his bladder. Give him time. Don't try to work on this until he is 7 or 8. Then there is an alarm thing you can use, among other things. Try the bedwettingstore.com. See your pediatrician to get a referral to a peds urologist.

My daughter had the same problem and I tried everything that you have tried. A friend of mine told me about bedwetting alarms. I purchased one and used it for my daughter. It took about 3 months and she was completely free of bedwetting. What happens is you attach the alarm to their nightshirt, and then there is a wire that attachs to the underwear. When wetness begins the alarm will sound and vibrate. The child will then have to get up to stop the alarm. It is loud and will wake deep sleepers. At first I didn't think it would work and thought it would be a waste of money, but it did work. She has been free from any accidents for a year. You can read more about the bedwetting alarms online at www.bedwettingstore.com Hope this helps.

Well your doing the right things. Alot of times it is basically self esteem that the child lacks. So it is frustrating to control the accedents. Just keep encouraging him. It takes time yes but keep at it. Good Luck

Well I definately do not have the answer on how to make the bed wetting stop, but I do have an idea on how to make it easier for you. My daughter had the exact same problem from the time she was in big girl panties until she was about 8. I did everything that you have already done, but to make it easier on myself I just put her in pull-ups to save any hassells in the morning as far as washing sheets, airing out the mattress etc.... She just slept so soundly that she didn't even know when she had to go to the bathroom. It may be a little added expense but definately worth it. Hope that helps a little!

S., My son wet the bed for years also. We used the crib sheets under the sheets and mattress pad to protect the mattress. I took him to the doctor a few times, took away water, juice, ect and he still did also. The doctor found nothing wrong and told us to track growing spurts. That is what it was. He is 9 and 1/2 now and for the past year I think we have had 2 episodes where it would happen for 2 weeks at a time every 2-3 months. Now he is not growing every 2-3 months it has gone to every 4-5 months. His bladder must have now caught up with his body the doctor said. Hope that helps.

J. H

OK, I personally have a problem thinking that self esteem issues are to blame for your son's enuresis (bed wetting). My husband wet the bed till he was seven and he went to the Air Force academy and is a pilot...no lack of confidence there!

I agree that a visit to the pediatrician to rule out physical issues is a great idea. Once that is done...

Very often children, specifically boys, have bladders that are comparatively small to the amount of fluids they need in a day to stay hydrated. As they grow, their bladders will grow. OK, so just put Pampers "good nights" on him. They are like training diapers but for big kids. Tell him that there are a lot of kids who can't help going potty at night (obviously because they have a product called "good nights" specifically for it). Don't make a big deal out of it. I have read in many responses on bed wetting in the past, that not giving your child milk after bed will help a lot. Anyway, don't sweat it...happens to the best of them...and he will grow out of it!

First you need to know that it isn't a medical condition and I did that.. Usually if it is medically connected you know this already. and the nighttime pull ups are only a cruch. So,I know this sounds really HARSH, but out of deperastion, I did this and it WORKED !!! I tried EVERYTHING that anyone could come up with and nothing worked, so I told my son, IF he wet the bed again, he would be TOTALLY responsible for changing the bed BY HIMSELF and washing the wet sheets and drying them and folding them. I FOLLOWED THRU with that, he wet the bed I got up with him and HE had to take off the sheets and put them in the washer and get clean sheets and HE had to put them on CORRECTLY.. and I sat there until he got it right,, he was very upset about this process and he NEVER EVER wet the bed again. He also was 5.

I wish this was an easy question mine was fully trained at 4 and at 6 started going again.He is now 11 fixin to be twelve and still wetting te bed. I have no clue what to do.

Is he getting enough sleep? I know it sounds weird, but when my son started wetting the bed after many months of not doing it, I put him in bed 1 hour earlier and he stopped! I had read it on a flier on bedwetting and was trying anything!

Hi S.-

I have a son who will be 6 in June. He has only been able to be dry through the night since late last year. Dr says they aren't officially bed wetters until they are 6. I had the smame concerns.... for us it just happened naturally. Give it some time.

Good luck!

My close friend, mother of 12,now almost 13, has two or three that have bed wetting problems. One is almost 7 years old. She says that she notices a difference in what he eats/drinks around 8pm and after. She said that sugary things, milk and dairy products are not good to have before bed. I found it surprising. But she has quite a bit of experience! Just thought I'd pass it on.

Hi S.,
We took our daughter to a pediatric urologist in Austin who helped establish the pattern for wetting (ex. is there any mild wetting during the day that goes unnoticed when they laugh or sneeze, etc.). In the end we discovered that it was due to constipation. When they are small, they only have so much room, and the bladder releases more easily. After getting her on a diet that included more fiber including a supplement from time to time, especially in summer when they sweat so much, she doesn't wet the bed. The key for us was being consistent with the fiber. I wish you guys luck!

First of all be sure that you don't shame him, some people actually do not wake up. Support him, pray with him about the issue and turn it over to Jesus. It will right itself in time. Don't medicate him. My husband gave our little girl a clue "when you feel like going to the bathroom in your dream, it means you need to wake up and go". I don't know if that will help but our daughter is 4, going on 5 this summer and she still wears her pull-up at night and during naps (especially in the car if she is going to fall asleep). We find she sometimes goes to the bathroom without knowing it and other times goes to the bathroom b/c she is lazy and does not want to get out of bed. We have 4 children, she is our 3rd. We give her a "treat" if she wakes up with clean pull-ups in the morning and this has HIGHLY motivated her to stop going to the bathroom in them - amazing! We are organic "nuts" so our children think honey w/cocoa and mixed nuts is a treat - whatever works:)>. What is the saying "If you think of it first it is positive reinforcement, not a bribe". Be blessed my friend, they are only little one time, enjoy it, no one goes to college in a diaper, ignore those who pressure you and rest in the Lord - He will meet your needs and answer your prayers to be creative in dealing with this growth opportunity in your life. Love your little boy, spend special reading time with him, encourage him and put yourself in his place each morning in your mind and I bet you see a resolution to the problem within in 2 years. Do NOT medicate your child, chemically poisoning him and lowering his immune system is not worth the time of washing a few sheets or the cost of a pull-up each day.

My daughter is 9 and still has that problem. Her pediatrician says that most of the time it has to do with a small bladder. He suggested trying to get her to hold it durning the day if she has to go a little longer than normal to try and stretch her bladder. She is also on Detrol for the time being and it is working very well. My 13 year old daughter also had problems with bedweeting but by the time she was 8 it stopped.

Hello, I also had a child that was late to stay dry at night. Well, when I listened to him sleeping one night I noticed that he would stop breathing. Well, this was due to enlarged tonsils. He would toss and turn until he found a position that allowed him to breath freely, and once asleep he was out. I also had another child with the same trouble. Come to find out it can be heritary. My husband had a brothe that wet the bed until Jr. High.
My peditatrician also said to get her out of the goodnight type diapers. It still took a litle while, but it will come.

Leah