Help with Potty Training - Chicago, IL

Offer up a potty party, with balloons and cake and presents nad a few good friends. But only if and when ALL poops are in the potty. Also, make her responsible for the clean up. She poops, she cleans it up. Don't make a big fuss over it, but have her dump the poop in the potty and put the dirty undies in the sink to be washed and then have her get her own clean clothes and wipe up the mess. She is little but help her be responsible. Or you could just tell her that poop in undies is not ok and put her back in the diaper until she tells you she is ready. Potty training should not take three months. She is probably not ready yet.

First of all, I really commend you on keeping going with underpants! Most parents would have given up which is super confusing to kids, so good for you!!

One of my good friends is a teacher in a 2's and 3's room in a preschool and here is her potty triaing advice: In as kind and understanding a way as you can, let her know that it's her mess to clean up. Now, obviousy she's not going to do a fantastic job and you're going to have to finish the job once she's not looking, but the idea is that if she sees how gross it is, she'll decide on a cleaner way to handle the problem. So, when she poops in her pants, say something along the lines of "Oh, no. You had an accident. That's okay. Let's go to the bathroom so you can clean it up." Show her how to get the poop into the toilet and wash her underpants out and then wash her hands. Chances are she's not going to like this task very much and won't want to do it very many times.

My teacher friend has a nephew who just didn't want to get potty trained (youngest of 3 and liked being the baby). By almost 4 his mom gave in and listened to her sister's advice. She had him clean up his own mess and he looked at her and said, "Mommy, this is yucky!" and that was the end.

Good luck!

First, PATIENCE! 2 is very young. Her sphincter is still immature, she is still learning to use it. Try and figure out what time of day she is going (when she does) and guide her to the bathroom about that time of day. Keep books in the bathroom, toys, anything that can help keep her amused while she sits.
Second, the world is SO cool! It is easy to get distracted. Why poop when there is play dough to play with??? And it can wait until later...Show her how to clean up herself, praise her when she does well and be patient!
My 5 year old still has accidents, especially when she is engrossed in something she loves.
She will grow out of it, give her time.

I am going through this now....but for the last 2 weeks she has gone #2 on the toilet because I created the "treat basket"...she gets to choose a treat everytime she goes #2 in the toilet (which is usually just once a day so it's not too big of a deal) Good Luck!

Apparently, the action of blowing (balloons, bubbles, etc.) causes a natural pushing on the back end. This is a trick learned from an occupational therapist. The harder a child blows the better, so find something that will be fun for her to sit and blow on while she does her work.

We just made it thru this not that long ago! My daughter was almost 3 before she would go #2 on the potty regularly! Almost a year after she was doing #1 all the time on the potty! Our big thing that helped were smarties (the little candies). At home and at the daycare the kids get smarties when they do a 2 on the potty. To this day she still comes to me and says..."I poop for smarties!" and we go to the cabinet and get her a roll of smarties. She knows she gets her prize. Also we did the make her help clean it up and that helps too!

Have her clean her own pants when shes done and make a big deal about it by rewarding her when she goes in toliet maybe do a sticker chart and let her do and pick the sticker

Many kids just don't want to "part" with their poop. They see it as a part of them--sounds weird but it's true. Instead of dealing with the dirty panties--try having her ask for a pull-up to poop in--sometimes this works—let her go where she is comfortable. Have her do that much then once she starts asking, move the pooping in the pull-up to the bathroom—then, next step, sit on the potty in the pull-up and then finally just poop right into the potty--it might take a few months to make the transition but it often helps make them more comfortable. Always shake the poop from the pull-up into the potty and save let's put the poop were it goes--in the potty--bye, bye poop and wait to flush it if it is upsetting to her. Most kids are fully potty train within 2 weeks of their third birthday either way—before or after..some kids just take longer. Don’t force it—it will come with time.

I know how u feel. My son was the same way. Just keep asking her if she has to go and see if she'll go #2. I think how we got my son to go was go ourselves and then show him and let him say bye bye to the poop it seemed to work b.c now he goes on the potty quite well.

Okay..here's what I did with my boy and it worked like a charm (if she will go in a pull-up). If she doesn't wear a pull up, you could ask her if she would like to put one on just for poop. It seems like a set-back after underwear, but it's only temporary, it's better than cleaning up dirty underwear and the rule is, no peeing in that pull up. I told him he could use a pull up for poop but had to go stand in the bathroom, because that's where poop belongs once you're a big kid. He followed through and we waited a few days til he was comfortably and consistently doing that. Then I told him he could poop in the pull up, still in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with the lid up. He followed through on that and became comfortable and consistent. The next transition was from on the toilet with a pull up to on the toilet without a pull up. That might be a longer transition, just because that could be the root of the fear, actually sitting on the toilet with nothing between her bottom and the toilet ring or toilet. So you have to make sure that she's really comfortable sitting on the toilet with the pull up on and the lid up before you make her take off the pull up. Some kids are just afraid of the splash like my boy was. Overall, it took about 2 weeks til he was using the toilet like a champ for poop. And a really important part, too I think is, when we started this, we absolutely insisted that he go IN the bathroom to poop. There was to be no problem there.....poop just belongs in the bathroom. He also had to go and get his own pull up and put it on. I think the whole routine just got boring for him after a while and it wasn't worth it to have to go through that much work just to poop.

Good luck.

Hi C.-

I was curious as to which method you used to potty train your daughter? For my son, I used the every ten minute method, and for us it was awesome!! We are using the same method now on my going to be 2 year old son. He is the opposite, he has never had a #2 accident, however, the only issue we have with him right now is going #1 at night when he is sleeping. We have tried many things also for that, and we are stuck. I do believe though, that the every ten minute method worked for the going #2. Try it...if you haven't already. :)

Good luck to you. If you have any advice for the night time, I would love you to share.

Thanks,
Crystal

Oooh! Stubborn little girl, ain't she!

Two things: If you have ruled out her resistance to go #2 properly as "fear based"? AND you have ruled out this being a medical issue (constipation, bowel obstruction, muscle spasms, etc...)

Then chalk it up to lazy and/or stubborn and get ready to OUT-STUBBORN her. But make sure you rule out those first two things!!! I had a friend whose child had encopresis and in the toddler years, child was "accomodated" (pull ups and mommy clean up, no questions asked) and by the time child was SIX it was words of frustration, "etc..." aimed at the poor kid. Traumatizing to that kid when school started.

Just rule out all legitimate "reasons".

If this is just a developmental delay on her part or simple stubbornness? Get a little step stool for the laundry sink and the next time she soils her pants (just hear me out, don't scowl too much) put your hands in your pockets, take the attitude of, "Hm, something doesn't smell so good." Escort her to the laundry room and have an easily understandable chat about, "How to do laundry."

Use Dreft or bar soap if you're worried about detergent being too strong. But if she's old enough and reasonable enough to wash her own hands, this is just a less (far less) pleasant form of maintaining some hygiene she has control over (in other words: prevention). If pooping her pants means having to clean the poop, touch the poop.... voila, you have just created one of many deterrents!

My third one did this just a handful of times and, no rubber gloves, I stood by her step stool at the laundry sink and was very positive and encouraging as she tackled a pair of those thick, waffle-fabric cotton Gerber underwear, a basin of warm water and a bar of Ivory soap (by no means did she come close to achieving "clean" by your standards or mine - believe me, when she was "done", I was scrubbing the hell out of them, bleaching them and rinsing them in Downey - little did she know this, however).

Soon after doing that 2 or 3 times, it was VERY easy for me to help her get dressed in the morning and nonchalantly say, "Now, remember about going to the bathroom, okay? Pay attention to if you feel like it's comin'! It's okay, though. If you have an accident, you can wash your underwear downstairs again, okay? I'll run the water for you." OMG - the look on her face - 2 years old - was like, "Oh HELL no!"

Find your child's "gross out" point. Pooping in her underwear is something she seems to not mind tolerating. Like I said, my youngest was no different, but she and I discovered together that she did, indeed, have an "ick" threshold after all (and so did I!).

good luck!!!!

Bubbles? Peek-a-boo with the shower curtain? Going totally nekkie? I know it's cold but maybe you can crank up the heat and she will be more aware of her pottying while nekkie