Help with Potty Training - Denver, CO

Definitely walk away. He may know what's going on, but he's just not ready to poop in the potty. Sometimes it can be scary, and sometimes it's just not as fun as going peepee. I'd also be a wary of punishment because that scares him, too. Just. Walk. Away. He'll go when she's ready. Boys take time.

I agree with another mom - WALK away. My daughter did this for 4 months after everyone (family and friends) kept saying we had missed our chance because she was not potty trained at 3 years -we did the treats, rewards, bribes, etc. and she was not ready! She decided on her own when she was ready and it happened overnight on a weekend getaway to the mountains away from our house! She never went back. Within a week she was not even using pull ups at night - all her choice and her time - not mine our my husbands (or friends or family). Give your grandson some room, don't bribe and don't get upset with him - give him the tools and let him use them - he has to learn how to go to the bathroom by himself and he will - just give him some space.

I know it's frustrating. I am going through the exact same thing right now. My son will be 3 in less than a month. We seemed to be making some head way on the potty training front a couple of months ago, but he has since lost all interest in sitting on the potty. The only advice I can give is the way that I am handling things..... My son seemed to take forever to crawl, then forever to walk, then forever to talk, then FOREVER to realize that I would be back to pick him up at the end of pre-school....the more I pushed, cajoled, etc....the more he fought it, but as soon as I let go and allowed him to move at his own pace it was like a switch flipped and he did it all on his own. I have had to accept that, while I still need to be encouraging, I also need to stand back and let him approach this new land mark in his own time as well. This is a really difficult age, they are trying to learn and establish their own independence and it seems that the harder we push the more they resist. Remember...they will NOT go to college in diapers, or get married in diapers, they won't even go to kindergarten in diapers. Every child needs to do these things in their own personal time. I know it's frustrating, but if you stand back and let nature take it's course there will be much less stress on you, your daughter and your grandson. Good Luck!

give him some time. my 3 year old did the same thing. he made up his mind that pooing in the potty was painful/scary...even though he had no problem going in his pull-up. we left it alone for a few months, and finally one day told him all the diapers were gone so he had to go on the potty. it still took some time, but eventually it worked and he is fully potty trained now (i never thought he would be, and now he finally is) one trick we used that no one has ever mentioned to me before is when we took the diapers away and he was scared to use the toilet, we offered to let him poo on a paper towel in the shower (i know, gross) and it got him over needing a diaper, then we bribed him with a remote control helicopter to try pooing on the toilet, and it worked... no problems since! good luck

my daughter did the same thing and I too tried everything. My daughter had a problem with constipation and I finally realized she was scared to poop and since it was uncomfortable at times, perhaps even embarrassing, I tried some different approaches. First, make sure he's not have bowel movement problems and correct that if needed. I would sit in the bathroom with my daughter and try to read a book to get her to relax or talk about something fun about her day and see if she could go then. Sometimes I could convince her to sit on the toilet, take her time and I would step outside the bathroom door to give her privacy. I think with the reassuring and the privacy methods combined she eventually started pooping in the toilet.

My friend's son had the same issue and finally is pooping in the potty. He is 5 1/2. She tried bribes, ultimatums, threats, loving encouragement and everything else - he simply wasn't ready. She worked to support him, to not shame him for this kind of shame can last a lifetime. She trusted that he would go when he was ready and she kept gently encouraging him and it worked - let go - trust the child - it will happen with loving encouragement.

Some kids have a hard time pooping in the potty. I was a lucky one and my daughter poop no problem but I think it helped that I had her first learn to poop in a potty chair. yes it is gross to clean out but it worked. My daughter would go to a corner to start to poop and I would go get her and place her in the potty that was in the living room and she would watch her cartoons while pooping. I think that some kids need that distraction at first to help them feel comfortable to go. Your daughter might want to start getting him as soon as he wakes up from his nap and placeing him on a potty right a way and let him just sit there. Once he goes a few times and realizes what a good boy he is he should stop going in his pants.

WHEN your daughter is ready (meaning when she is absolutely certain her son is ready to take control of pooping in the potty) have HIM take control of it. My son was nearly 5!!! I was so frustrated because he never peed in his pants, but always pooped. It made me so mad. Finally I told him he was responsible for all the cleanup. I bought boxes of babywipes, saved my grocery sacks, and got mentally ready.

Everytime he pooped his underwear (because I refused to buy pullups for him anymore), I went to the bathroom with him and told him gently what he needed to do i.e. take off your pants and check to see if there's any poop in them. No? Okay, now take off your underwear carefully. Now drop the poop in the potty. Now hold on tight to your underpants and put them in the water while you flush it (yes, I made him do this, but the parent may need to do this part)...

Here's the kicker... poop would often get down his legs. He was to take the wipes and wipe every speck of poop on his bum and down his legs, and on the floor if any got there. The dirty wipes when in a grocery bag which he had to throw away outside. I KEPT MY NICE VOICE and didn't get mad at him at all. THEN WE ALL WASHED OUR HANDS.

It took about 5 days until finally he said, "Mom, I don't like doing this, it's gross!" LIGHTBULB. So I agreed wholeheartedly and said, "Yes, son. If you would do your poops in the potty it would be much easier for you wouldn't it?" I don't think I had another problem after that :D

So for what it's worth, tell your daughter good luck with however she chooses to do this!

Let it go for now. Have him understand that big boy underwear and big boy priviledges await him once he is ready and let it go.
If you push he will resist because he can. You cannot control their potty training, eating or sleeping. All you can do is set them up for succeeding and wait. With the potty training the best thing I did for my son was stop pushing. I put up a chart and for every 30 stickers he got for going on the potty he would get a Transformer (he really wanted this), he wanted the big boy toy so he had to earn it.

I left it up to him, I would put him on the potty at times I knew he would go (by three you can know what schedule they poop on for the most part). So for your grandson BEFORE he takes a nap have him sit a bit or the second he wakes up get him and put him on the toilet. I got fun squishy covers for the big toilet as I don't like potty seats at all!
All I would say is "I need you to try to go, if you don't have to then that is fine but please sit there and try" and I would walk out to give him some privacy. 80% of the time he started going then once he understood the urge, how to hold and and all of that it was a breeze. By the time his third bday had past for a couple of months I kept the pullups on then one day he told me he wanted his underwear on during the day, it was DONE! Then three weeks later no more pullups at night..
In the course of three months when we started he was 100% potty trained! I just let him do it on his terms and let it go.

I have been there! It can be sooo frustrating! I started setting an alarm for every hour/hour and a half that we started calling the peepee-poopoo alarm. Every time the alarm would go off, we would get all excited and take my little boy to the potty. I'd let him sit on it for about 5 minutes to see if he did anything. If he didn't, he got a sticker for trying. If he did, he got 2 for peeing and 5 for pooping. And then we'd go back through the same process an hour later. I did this for about 3 days, until I could see he was pooping around the same time each day. Then I would set the alarm in intervals around that time. It has worked really well! I know it sounds like a pain, but it works. We just used the timer on the microwave in the kitchen. Good luck!

Walk away from the potty.

How freaked out must this poor child be with BOTH his mother and grandma fussing over his bowel movements? Seriously? ITS HIS BODY! Let him decide when he wants to attempt to use toilet for elimination.

Remember when you were in the hospital after giving birth and the nurses fussed over how much you ate, your child ate, when you went to the bathroom, how much, how your blood pressure was, etc. And all you wanted was to be left alone to figure out how to care for your child? Now, all your grandson wants to do is please his family, he's trying but for heaven's sake, give him room. Lay off the cajoling, pressure, and you can't have seriously punished him for a natural function like toileting, but in case you have, don't. Just give him room to figure it out for himself. GL.