Help with 2 Year Old! - Borger,TX

Do you yell at him for yelling at you? Kids communicate how they see parents communicating to them. When both of you are screaming at each other out of frustration, nothing gets accomplished.

If he yells, grab him up, look him square in the eyes, and firmly, but not loudly, tell him he must stop talking that way. Over and over and over, he will understand that his nasty tone of voice, and telling you no, are not acceptable ways to get what he wants.

Also, timeout corner works well for my guy. It took a while for him to understand that he must stay in the corner until I got him out. Every time he got up, I would silently put him back, kicking and screaming. His timeout would start over if he got up. He understood after a while, that if he doesn't get up a million times, timeout would go by quicker.

Be consistent with whatever style of discipline feels best for you. Don't give up after a few tries with no results. He will get it soon! Good luck!

There have been a lot of questions like this lately. Try a couple swats and a two minute time out every time. Explain what is expected of him and why he got disciplined and have him say sorry when he's finished with his time out. That helps a lot with my passionate, independent toddler. =D Good luck!!

Wow! That sounds like a lot of changes for a 2 year old. He must be very scared and overwhelmed and confused. Think about how stressful this is for you and then triple that. That's probably what he's feeling.

Right now, he needs to feel your love. He needs positive attention. Try to give him lots of positive attention. Catch him being good. "Thank you so much for saying please. That makes Mommy feel so good." "I'm so happy you sitting at the table like a big boy. Isn't it nice when we eat together?" The more positive attention you can give him, the more he'll seek positive attention form you.

The behavior you're describing is complely normal for his age. He's probably just learning how to really talk and communicate with you. And he's learning how to identify his emotions and how to handle them. When he starts behaving like this take a deep breath. Get down on his level and look him in the eye. "I know you're very frustrated/angry/sad. It's no fun when you can't have a cookie. We're going to eat some yummy pasta, and then you can have a cookie."

Make sure you help him to see that you understand. If he doesn't respond, take another deep breath. Then look him in the eye and say, "I'm sorry, but Mommy can't understand what you're saying unless you talk to me like a big boy." Reinforce this over and over again so that you are sure he knows what you are asking of him. Make that the goal. Rather than telling him what not to do (don't yell, now whining, etc.), help him to understand what you would like him to do.

There will be many times when he just cannot resist the bad behavior. That's when you have to make sure you have his attention, make it clear what you expect from him and then ignore the bad behavior. If it goes on for a couple of minutes, which is an eternity to him, say something like, "I sure wish Michael would calm down and talk to me like a big boy. I would really like to show him these yummy apples."

I'm not saying there isn't a place for time outs or any type of punishment. And I'm definitely not saying I don't yell back occasionally ... ok, more often than I'd like to admit. But I do know that those are definitely not the times that achieved the desired results.

My 5 year old was and sometimes still is a whiner. He wasn't as bad with temper tantrums, at least not the kicking and screaming kind, but boy can he whine. We would get so frustrated and sometimes get so mad at him. But the times that we calmly asked him to talk like a big boy and showed him that we were willing to listen were the times that he responded the best.

It really does work! Hang in there. I know it must be even tougher for you, given your current circumstances. Just keep loving him and giving him lots of hugs. You'll both be so much happier for it.

When my daughter turned 2 we went through this too. It happens to the best of them. LOL I agree a lot with Gidget. Try to focus more on complimenting his good behaviors. I know it sounds like it is a silly move but it works well and quickly. Kids want to please you so let them know when they do. Give warnings when activities are about to change, sure he can't tell time yet, but he understands the difference between soon and now. As as example,( Johnny, soon it will be time to leave for school, a few minutes later, Johnny it's almost time to go to school , Then a few minutes later you can say Johnny, its time to go to school now.) That way he has time to finish what ever he may have had on his agenda. Obviously you have to correct unacceptable behavior but try not to put too much emphasis on it. Address the situation and then move on. However, when you catch him doing something "good" blow it out of proportion and really praise him. He will quickly realize he likes the "party" versus the correction. You won't have to do this forever just long enough for him to get back to where you like his behavior to be. I was given this advice by our pediatrician and thought to myself, this will never work. I tried it and was amazed at how quickly it did work. Over accentuate the positive! It does sound like you both have a lot going on in your lives and a lot of changes. Change can be scary for kids, don't be afraid to explain to him in language he can understand what is going on. As well as reassure him that you and he will be together and be ok no matter what.

Let him throw his tantrums in his room. Shut the door. When he smarts off to grAndma, pop his mouth and tell him NO NO. If he gets mad from that and starts another fit, take him back to his room. If it gets worse, then I would suggest spankings. My kids don't throw tantrums anymore, it took one good butt whooping.

Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson. He's too young to care about abstract concepts like time outs and sitting in his room. Those are not unpleasant enough to deter the outbursts immediately. He needs to get his impulse control in check, so you need to be firmer. You're stressed about divorce, but his behavior is due to being two, and you could be stressed about anything, so don't worry too much about divorce on top of everything else when addressing your son. Just be very calm, clear and positive, but firm (swat or two) when he does one of these actions. You can add time out after consequence if necessary. We didnt' use time outs because they enable tantrums to occur in them, and tantrums weren't allowed. Address the tantrums as they BEGIN. Teach him he has one warning by only giving one warning before a consequence. Once he improves, you can slack a little and give a couple more warnings, but at this age, when things are bad, you need to be diligent and firm for a bit until it subsides. My husband is never around either, I do all discipline, you can do it! My most difficult child is now 2 1/2, VERY SPIRITED, and not throwing fits because she was never allowed to.