I am looking for advice on what I should do. My daughter who is 18 months tends to fight and strach other kids including her 3 year old cousin and those who be in my gym child care. Its not like she does it all the time but it seems to be happening more often. We (her father and I) are not violent around her. I am not sure where she gets this behavior from. I talked to the doctor and he said to put her in time out which do not help once she is out. I just do not know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. My mother said she acts like that because we spoiled her which is not true. Yeah we do hold her and play with her but aint that good parenting. Also she have slapped me several times or throw her food or other things. We have tried time out even lightly plucking her hands (which dont phase her at all so we gave it up. Yet when she is behaving she is like another child all together very silly and happy. Like she be playing with a toy on one side of the room then she will walk up to someone and just hit them or strach em. HELP PLEASE
First I want to thank everyone for their advice. We continue to say no and put her in time out. Time out do not seem to have any effect still but she is starting to understand that her behavior is wrong. She still does it but when we say no she will go and do something else. Unlike before she would turn around and do it again. I believe if we keep working with her it will get better. Time and patience. (sometimes i fell like I am running low on both lol)
It sounds like she might be trying to get more attention. Kids will get attention anyway they can. Bad attention (getting in trouble) is better than no attention at all. Try praising her for the good things that she does and when she is nice or behaves well around other kids. Try to ignore small happenings of bad behavior when possible.
Hi V., My 3 year old is going through that and my 21 month old is doing the same thing. Very defiant and mean. The best advice is try not to give it too much attention. Don't over react. The less you react to it the better. When you do punish her, make sure it is the same punishment everytime. You may try time out for a few weeks and if that does not work. Try taking her favorite toys away from her and explain when she is a good girl she can have it back. That worked for my little ones. You have to ignore the pitty cry when you punish them until they stop crying. Otherwise they will just keep on crying.
I hope this help.
K.
Are there consequences for her scratching and slapping? Maybe she needs firm, consistent reprimands each time she does these things. She'll soon learn what is appropriate behavior.
My 11 month started biting my 2 year old yesterday. I watched and closely monitored her, once I realized what she was doing and each time I would clap my hands together to get her attention... look her right in the eyes and with a firm tone, and dissaproving look, say no. She cried, just from being told no and knew that it was not appropriate to do. She tried it a few more times, but pretty much stopped.
I have 2 girls, ages 3 and 4. The eldest is sweet and mild-mannered. The youngest is the exact opposite. We went many months of her hitting people- other kids, teachers, me, stuffed animals, random pieces of furniture. All I can say is you HAVE to address it every time it happens. I know it's tempting to pretend you didn't see, or justify the hit, or think "that didn't hurt- no harm, no foul" BUT you have to address it. Eventually, it does sink in, and it will stop. It worked for me and my little bully.
I have not experienced this yet but my niece does the same thing and has bitten a child in the face as well. I have read that you don't hit or even use time out when it happens. I found this video that may help and I am sure there may be other advise on this site and other baby sites. http://www.babycenter.com/2_positive-discipline-handling-...
You need to think of what is most important to your child, what is more important to her. When she's a bully, do you put her on your lap and talk about it or do you just put her in a time out? Two important things must happen:
1) She must know that no matter what you love her - so don't raise your voice to her
2) You need to enforce your authority. She needs to know that you mean what you say and why you say it. She needs to know that what is wrong is no ok with mom and dad.
She has learned that there are many things that you allow simply because you love her. If you don't correct this now, she'll get worse as a teenager.
When there's a time out:
1) Put a small chair in the corner, facing the corner
2) Walk her to the corner and sit her on the chair. If she gets up, tell her NO firmly and reseat her in the chair. Tell her that she is to stay in the chair for 5 minutes and you will come for her. NOW - walk away, don't look back until you're away from her line of sight. If she gets up again repeat the process. She's no learning the lesson until her actions change. When she really understands, she'll cry because she doesn't like being in the corner and alone. Don't feel sorry for her, because her actions are that of a big girl and won't be allowed.
3) when time out is done, sit down with her and explain to her, not at her, what she did wrong and that you love her.
You really need to be firm with her or she won't learn.
Old mom.
Hi, It isn't necessary to view violence to be a "slapper". I put my children down and turn my back when they hit - usually in retaliation for not getting something they want. That works pretty good with the little ones. Your daughter might be to young for time-out. You'll have to be the judge on that. After two, time-out worked well for us. When my children hit other kids, I squat to their level, firmly say NO, put their hand down, and then remove them from the situation. This is all a part of socializing our children. I don't believe that aggressive behavior is necessarily learned. It is a naturally occurring part of our make up. It's our job to teach our children when it is or is not appropriate. Good luck, N.
