HELP! My 8 Year Old Is Asking About Sex

I will gently say that I think you were mistaken when you responded in a punitive way to her drawing. Kids her age are naturally curious. There is no moral connection to her drawing, but by making her feel as though she did something wrong, she is likely to equate 'sex' with 'wrong' and also less likely to come to you with questions.

Why is she starting counseling?!?! I am very concerned and confused about your response to this. An 8 year old girl should have a firm grasp on the different anatomies of male and female, and should have at least a basic concept of reproduction.

I see that you are 24, which means you were quite young when you had your daughter. Are you scared that she to is going to have sex young and possibly also be a teenage mother? The best way to prevent this is to maintain and open and honest relationship about sex. Keep talking! Let her get her information from you, and from quality books that you provide.

Hi J.,
your daughter is at the age where she is curious and may start to ask questions. iwouldbeopen and honest withher with limited detail. i think you handled this very well and by telling her she can ask you anything leaves thelinesof communication open between the two of you and becuase of you be understanding she will most likelycome to you and and talk and or tell you if there is a problem. when she is atyour moms tell your mother she has to limit the tv and supervise what she is watching. i hope you get the answers you are looking for. good luck.

kids are naturally curious. You addressed it with her and told her to ask you if she had questions - leave it at that.. She had no idea what she did was wrong so I wouldn't worry too much unless she's obsessed.. and talk to her caregivers and ask that they monitor what they watch when she's around them.. goodluck

when my daughter was, I think, about 4 or just turned 5 she had said something along lines of "when I get big and do sex with my boyfriend..." I just about died. I couldnt believe it. But I also remembered her cousin was 5 when she had said the almost identical thing. Children are born "knowing" about sex. They may not know exactly what the word itself means, they may think kissing or hugging. Its not a huge secret, its part of our nature. They see things on tv, hear things from friends and overhear our phone conversations with our friends (not to mention when they accidentally walk in the room when we are just "wrestling" with daddy!) Even on nickelodeon the teens are kissing etc. I remember being around 7 and making my barbies "do it"! If the picture seemed negative or just too realistic, if the man was aroused etc, and you are concerned that something bad may have happened to her that would lead her to make this picture, I would definately investigate further. However, do remember that we are all just learning on this journey through life, however some things are kinda just "known" already. Go with you gut feeling on this one, reassure her that she can share anything with you and no one can harm her or you. Good luck

J., my 8 yr old son asked this week how babies got into girls bellies...argg, I'm not ready for this either. I finally have survived this conversation with my 11yr old daughter. I'm a nurse and my mom was a nurse. The best thing to do is tell as much of the truth needed to answer the question and no more until you are ready. There are a multitude of books on how to talk to your child about sex. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the children are learning more quicker and doing things sooner so we need to keep them informed earlier. Good Luck, ~C.

It is important for young girls to have a healthy attitude toward sex and toward themselves. Telling her that sex is for grownups only is not only lieing (by my calculations you were around 16 when you had her...) but it's dancing around the subject. Personally, I'm pretty sure that my girls will start having sex when they are ready and not when I tell them it's ok. Focus should be on a healthy self image, respect for her body and partner, and safety. Relax and be honest with your daughter.

Firstly, you should realize the drawing IS okay. What if someone told Michaelangelo that his art was leud or crass and disuaded him from creating.
Secondly, lots of children are interested in sex. I remember thinking about it when I was 5. Yes, 5.
In dealing with this issue, it might have been a good idea to comment on how she is a very good artist, but her subject matter might be a little too mature for her age. It is a perfect introduction to discuss sex with her. Take it. Don't chastise her for being human - we all think of sex and you don't want sex to become the forbidden fruit she begins searching for.

Sex is a natural thing, I think you should just talk to her, if she doesn't hear it from you she'll hear it somewhere else. At least you can make sure she's not misinformed. Plus it helps open the door of communication for the two of you, she'll feel like she can talk to you about anything. Good luck.

I am no expert on this and while I appreciate your concern I think you could be over-reacting. I have to wonder what would happen if you addressed the issue as you did and then continued your lives as normal (without counciling). I bet she just acted on a natural curiosity and will return to her normal behavior. Good luck to you.

I don't want this to come across the wrong way, but I think that what you said is the right way to deal with this and sometimes as parents, and as grown ups, we impose our feelings and knowledge onto our children. What I am trying to say is that, your 8 year old daughter is probably not wanting, or even thinking about trying out sex. It was probably something she saw and was curious about, not that she is really "interested" in it, but curious. I think giving her the information that this is not something she should be drawing and that is an "adult only" activity are exactly what she needed, and probably wanted to hear. Also giving her that boost by telling her that you are there for her if she does have any questions, is perfect. She knows that you are there if she is curious and that will keep her from exploring other ways. Good luck, and I would persue a conversation with your mother....not something an 8 year old should be watching.

J., I totally understand why you might get upset or scared. In todays world their are so many sick people out there we are all on high alert all the time, and your immediate reaction was where did you see this and why did you draw this! But I do agree with the other posts that it is completely normal, and you do not want her to feel embarassed or ashamed of being curious. However you do want to make sure she understands what sex is and in a very mild way. I would be upset with my mother if she let her watch something that had sex in it, and your mother should be up front with you on what exactly she watched. You did not specify why she was starting counceling? Well, I personally do not think it would hurt to tell the councelor about this. Most likely they will think its nothing, however they may know the right approach in dealing with these kind of situations. I do know that 8 yrs old is an age where kids are curious, I remember being young not sure of my exact age, and had a friend that wanted to play house and I would be the husband, and she wanted me to kiss her. I remember being grossed out, but again this is normal. So just know that you have nothing to worry about, and this is only the beginning!! Good Luck