12 answers

7 Year Old Talking About Sex!?!

I need some advice from all of you wise mothers out there, my daughter's pricipal called me today and told me that she had written a note to her friend and it said, "I had a dream that I had sex with Soandso last night, I really, really had sex with Soandso." The pricipal told my daughter that it was inappropriate for her to talk about that at school or on the playground, she said she would let me deal with the rest. I have no idea where she is getting this. She only watches age appropriate shows and we watch them together. Last year at school, there was a girl that was talking about having sex with her brother (we went to the school and told them about it), so maybe she is getting this from other kids? I am just so confused as to what I should do now. My heart is breaking that my little girl might be growing up...too fast. I have no idea what I need to say to her, so this is where I need your help moms. Thanks.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you to everyone that replied! My husband and I talked to her last night and made sure to tell her she wasn't in trouble and that talking about sex was an ok thing to talk about with your parents, even if it is embarrasing! She heard an older girl at school talking about it, she said she thought it was laying in bed with a boy and kissing, with only underwear on. We told her that sex was only for grown-ups that love each other very much. We told her it wasn't ok to talk about it at school though and that if she had any questions about anything, to come to us. Thank you very much for your advice!

Featured Answers

B.,

Hello, don't feel bad or you did something wrong. My daughter was 6 years old when she started talking about sex. She heard about it from my friends son and told me details that made my mouth drop. So I was honest with her and we started talking about it. Now I didn't give to many details at first but as she grew we kept talking about it and then I gave more details. I felt that being honest was better then making it sound bad or not talking about it at all and having her want to go and do something when she got older. I hope this helped?

D.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Hi B.. As much as this sucks, you just can't ignor this. You have to talk to her. Just start with asking what the letter meant. What is sex? Very often times, kids will hear a word, use it and really not have the full understanding of what it means. If you allow her to give you HER defination of sex first, you may learn it's not the same thing as you know it to be. Oh, and pray much. That always helps. =)

Good Luck,

D.

2 moms found this helpful

I can totally understand your alarm, but don't panic. Ask questions first. Listen carefully before you draw a conclusion. Then if something needs to change you will know what it is.
Maybe you need to ask her what she meant by what she said. Ask her to be specific about what "having sex" means to her. As careful as you have been, it may be that she is using words she has heard without knowing what they really mean. There may be some other possibilities, but start there.

(I am a stay at home mother of six, the youngest just turned 13. I volunteer as a lay counselor.)

2 moms found this helpful

B.,

Hello, don't feel bad or you did something wrong. My daughter was 6 years old when she started talking about sex. She heard about it from my friends son and told me details that made my mouth drop. So I was honest with her and we started talking about it. Now I didn't give to many details at first but as she grew we kept talking about it and then I gave more details. I felt that being honest was better then making it sound bad or not talking about it at all and having her want to go and do something when she got older. I hope this helped?

D.

2 moms found this helpful

This reminds me of an episode of the Cosby Show in which Rudy is singing a song that includes a euphamism for sex. (I can't remember which one it is.) When he Dad asks her what the words mean, she says, "hugging and kissing." That could very well be what your daughter thinks sex is, too.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi
well first I would ask her what she thinks sex is. She may be thinking kissing or have a different idea. Kids do hear a lot on the play grounds at school. Everyones household is different and if there are older siblings kids can hear a lot of different things.
I have always tried to be matter of fact about the our bodies and have had age appropriate talks with my kids. If its dealt with as a natural part of life and beautiful in the correct setting ( here you add your own morals and values) its not such a taboo thing then. When people get hush hush then the kids want to know more.
There are some great books out there. Being a Christian I bought the books "Why God cares about Sex" and I think the other is Why wait( just tried to find them to get the exact titles, they are somewhere in my sons messy room). You can look into books that fit your household as well.
We all want to believe our kids are too young and innocent but they do know more than we want to admit. I have discovered that myself so better you have the talks with them so they are comfortable with you and getting the correct information.
Hope that helps. I have a long story myself on the topic if you want to hear more:)

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe she doesn't know what 'sex' really means but she has heard the word used around her by other kids. It might be helpful to ask her what her definition of 'sex' is. Once you understand what she thinks it is, it might be easier to clarify what she is talking about so she can use other words than 'sex'. If she know what the word really means it may be time for the birds and bees talk :-(.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi B.,

My name is C. (nickname for Cecilia). I know what your going through with your daughter. My daughter is 7 and she came home asking questions about kissing and the boys private part. All I can say is keep an open communication with her. I'm glad to say that I'm happy she tells me this stuff and I'm happy with her that she tells her friends and she doesn't think they should about this at school. I found out that some parents say a little too much about sex and the girls just repeat what they have been told.

Thanks,
C.

1 mom found this helpful

no,no,no,...don't be scared instead be ready for whatever she hears and DON'T discourge her of what she hear at school. It is your responsibility to explain in levels of understanding, on how much she needs to know.
I have 7,15,19 year old and I hear everthing from pensis to how they perform sex/position. Cause they hear it from peer who hear it from adults...who don't realize how to keep keep it to themselves.
Share with your child that you and the children are developing a special time where on;y the both of your get to speak about certain issues. but you have to be opened minded and veru understanding. i hope I helped.

1 mom found this helpful

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