Help! My 18 Month Old Daughter Is Vomitng in Protest at Bedtime.

Hi C..

My 17 month old nephew was doing something similar. He would start to cry and cough so hard that he would vomit at bedtime. My sister took him to his pediatrician and they believe that he has cough variant asthma. He doesn't have any wheezing or shortness of breath like most children with asthma. His only symptom was the coughing at night which was so severe that it would gag him and make him vomit. He would occasionally cough and vomit while he was running around playing in the evening, but most of the time it happened while he was in his crib crying. I'm not sure if asthma, eczema, or allergies, run in your family, but even if they don't, this may be something you could look into.

Good luck!

Hi C..
Maybe she doesn't like milk, or maybe you are giving her way too much. My stomach hurt just reading about how much you give her! Are you giving her table food too?
As for the spanking, I have been reading about this, and it's not that I am anti-spanking, but you should really question spanking a child for something like vomiting. How do you think she feels? What if she can't help it?
I would take her to your pediatrician and explain all this or even, in your case, a dietician! I would also read some books about nutrition, since it seems she may not be getting the right amount.
Good luck

She's too old for milk to be filling her up. She needs real food. All that milk is probably sloshing around in her belly (eew), and then when she gets upset, she pukes. She really doesn't need the bottle if you are nursing her, and at this point, nursing should be for comfort not to fill her up. Feed her a snack - toast, yogurt, graham crackers before her bath and pjs... As for spanking, there is a time and a place for it, but 18 months isn't it. She doesn't understand what it means or why you are doing it. She probably doesn't understand why she's being left alone in her room! Feed her some real food, cut back on the milk, and try to be a little more patient with her at bed time.

With that much mommy's milk, milk, and more mommy's milk her belly may be upset
I have an 18 month old. He eats what everyone else in the family eats, even eating more than a couple of his brothers. Anyway, he eats around 5:30 and before bed at 7:00 he has a drink of water. He sleeps through the night until 4:30-5:00. I realize every child is different, but compare your belly to hers. Would you feel good laying down after all that? Plus, the fact that she may not be happy about going to bed upsets her little belly even more. I also realize 18 month attitude can play a big part too :)
I would start with eliminating some of the liquids.
Good Luck
J.

I am going to try and be as constructive as possble with my advice. First, it sounds like your daughter is probably hungry. 18 months old, your daughter should be getting her nutrition from regular food, not milk. Milk is a beverage not a meal at this age. As for the vomiting, she may be doing it in protest. I have seen kids force themselves to vomit when they are upset. But that is an extreme way that she is using to ask for help because you are not listening to normal signals like crying or calling for you. Okay, now the not so constructive advice....spanking an 18 month old is going to get you nowhere. I am not all anti-spanking. I beleive when used properly it can be somewhat effective on certain children. Not a toddler. Your 18 month old is crying out for some real food to fill her belly and attention from her parents and you are responding with a spanking. This post is actually upsetting to read....get yourself to her pediatrician and explain what is going on and stop hitting her. Maybe pick up a book on sleep training like the ones by Weisbluth or Ferber, they are much more gentle.

C.,
My heart goes out to you and your husband. Just know that it will get better. Try J&J's lavender/chamomile kids bath soap for a warm bubble bath right before bedtime,read her a story and have her watch her favorite cartoon before she goes to sleep. Kind of hold and cuddle her to sleep. Also, try to feed her between 6-7 and play classical music, Little Einstein's is good for that. Give it time and hopefully it will work.

All the Best,
D.

Hi. I promise not to comment on the spanking. :) It is clear that you love your daughter very much and want what is best for her. IMHO, your bedtime routine is just too too complicated. I agree with the others that she may be getting too much milk right before bed. If she has eaten a regular dinner, she certainly does not need 8 oz. of milk plus breastmilk. She may be vomiting on purpose, but you are definitely making it easier for her to do. My 3 1/2 year old doesn't drink that much after dinner. We have always had very very simple bedtime routines and that has worked for us. My 21 month old finishes dinner, has a bath (if needed, not every day, especially in winter), gets his jammies on, brushes teeth, and gets put in his crib. Hug, kiss, I love you, Nigh-nigh, lights out. I read him stories all day long so I don't feel the need to add another one. The 3 year old has learned to drag things out a bit, but even she doesn't get a bed time longer than 20 minutes. So keep things simple, less talking and bargaining. You can't reason or bargain with an 18 month old! They don't possess the capability to understand yet. Get Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" if you haven't already. Good luck! P.S. You may be surprised that if you put Jocelyn in bed at 6:30 when she says she is tired. You may get 12 hours of sleep out of her. And no vomiting. It's worth a try . . .

You are and have been feeding her regular food, right? A lot of responders have taken "exclusively breast fed" to mean that you're not feeding her food, but I took it to mean that that was the only kind of milk she was getting but that you are giving her adult food as well. Is that correct? She does need to be eating regular food at this point.

I give my little girl (21 months) an 8oz bottle of fresh cow's milk at bedtime and she's fine. She usually drinks all of it, but sometimes falls asleep before she finishes it. And I am assuming that when she nurses, it is more for comfort than for nutrition at this point, is that also correct? So it's not like she's getting 16 oz of milk before bed or anything, right? Because if she was, I'd have to agree with the other moms that that is TOO MUCH.

Now, more about the milk--is what you're giving her regular milk (as opposed to grass-fed/ organic?) Maybe that's making her sick. Some children have bad reactions to regular milk b/c of the hormones or the feed the cows are given or even the pasturization b/c it kills the enzyme lactase (which helps digest the lactose that many people are intolerant of) Did she do this before you switched off the breast?

From my experience, I think that when she was waking up in the middle of the night to nurse it was probably more of a comfort thing than a hunger thing, so you probably don't need to load her up before bed.

Vomiting may be a control issue with her. It certainly gets a big reaction! What do you think it is that's setting her off? Is it simply that she doesn't want to sleep or could it be something else? Maybe she's protesting because she doesn't want to be alone.

You might try forgetting about the extra bottle for awhile and try rocking her/nursing her to sleep. You said that she used to fall asleep on the breast...would she still do this? Maybe it would make her calmer and then you could just lay her in bed.

Good luck.

Too much milk, for starters.

Also - Do you have a trusted friend or relative who has spent time around your house? Ask them to tell you honestly what they think.

I know a child who has a vomiting issue. In her case it's probably partly because she has a sensitive gag reflex (one of my kids had that) and partly because they stuff her! It's all "one more bite, one more bite," nagging and scolding so she eats and eats and then pukes. I'm sure they make no connection between the two things. They are lovely, loving parents and I love them very much. But - it seems pretty obvious to me.

So I think sometimes parents have to really try to look at things from someone else's perspective. Remember you're dealing with someone who has limited communication tools at her disposal. She is doing the best she can with what she has to work with. Your job is to do what you are already doing - trial and error until you figure it out.

Many of us parents of older kids have realized later that our kids had a physical reason for frustrating behavior (a friend of mine found out her kid who "didn't listen" had a congenital hearing problem; my wiggly kid has sensory integration problems; and so on.) Don't do anything now you're going to hate yourself for later. Trust me.

Oh, and I also agree with the poster who suggested you ask a pediatrician. They can give you some sleep and behavior advice, and also eliminate any questions about a physical (reflux, etc.) problem.

My son is 3 and does the same thing. Not every night but he does protest so much he vomits. We also have tried everything, from talking to him, spanking, less food at night. We are going to talk to a family couselor about the situation. Maybe try that.