Help! I Have a Very Clingy Baby!!!!

Tiffany, I know it can be hard, I have a 7mo also. This is a phase that is normal for this age. Just do the best you can. I also get e-mails from pampers.com and they send me updates each month telling me the norms for that age. Give it a try. They also tell you how to cope. Good luck.

Hi Tiffany,
When my daughter was born, I thought that when people talked about a 'phase,' they meant something that lasts for months. My experience has been that most of these phases only last days to a couple of weeks. My daughter was very outgoing from the start, and the first time she was clingy, I wondered who this kid was! It ended up lasting only a couple of weeks, then she was back to her independent, exploring self. I can't claim to be a child development expert, but it may pass much more quickly than you think! And don't worry about him running off once he crawls, never to cuddle again - we've cycled through these phases a few times a year, and now that she's seven, I enjoy those cuddly loving times even more.

Good luck!

I found with my daughter that if I just held her as much as she needed it, she got through the separation anxiety much, much faster. If I tried to "make" her be less clingy, she got even worse. Just go with it; it's a phase. But fighting it will just make your son more clingy and make the phase last even longer. I used a Baby Bjorn front pack with my daughter and she adored it...

I believe this and fear of strangers are common for this age/when a baby starts crawling. You might also look at how his play area is set up and assess if it is a match for where he is right now. Hope you get plenty of good advice here.

Hang in there and Happy New Year

Hi Tiffany,

Just wanted to throw out an alternate possibility to this being just separation anxiety or behavioral. Does you child have any rashes/skin issues? Or frequent diarrhea?

Our second child was very fussy and clingy. He wanted to be held all the time, preferably by me. As he started eating more solids, his issues became worse. Turns out he had severe food allergies, many of which caused stomach aches/cramping. Any baby having that type of issue would want/need to be held a lot for comfort.

I know it can be hard to tell as a first time parent. In fact, even though it was our second child, we had trouble telling if it was a physical discomfort issue or not. If there is a new food you introduced recently, try backing back off. Talk to your doctor. Trust your instincts.

Good luck!
-D.

Happy New Year and Welcome to Motherhood!
Tiffany, I am going to respond in a way that might surprise you but it is exactly how I talked to my own children when the babies were like this. By the way I am the mother of 5 and the grandmother of several cuties!
This is your most precious achievement this baby. You didn't have him to be just a part of the extended family but for you to love, appreciate, be amazed by and to take care of. He is only 7 months old give me a break-- the child needs reassurance that you are 100% there for him. Believe me when he is 12-18 you will wish these moments were back. I promise that the housework, dishes, laundry and all errands will still be there a month from now-- so have the father do his part to help and both of you take care of your little one. You will only "harm him", by not holding him and by letting him cry.
I have raised foster children, that were lonely little souls because when they were young the mother was to busy doing other things than take care of the child and they didn't feel connected to another person. If your child is a decoration and not your heartbeat then please rethink your thoughts. YOU MAY NOT get anything done around the house for a while but once he gets through this it will be just fine. I have one daughter that works full time and had children and alot of home responsibilities as all working women do. She and our son have said that nothing comes before the children and as such if someone complains that the house is messy I have a ready answer for them---" If someone comes to visit the house let them clean it for their visit-- if they have come to see you then they are happy to pitch in and help or just step over the clean laundry and toys". As long as they are together as a happy family then I don't care if she can only cook one cupcake at a time- consider the house clean! That is a quote from Phillis Diller that I have used for all 40 years of my marriage and have passed on to all of our children.
To address the Grandparents-- Dear, that is a Grandparents right and role to adore, love and cherish & esp. not let the baby cry!!! If you want it otherwise then get yourself someone else to care for the child. Most day cares don't have the time and energy to pick up a child and hold them so they will put them in a safe place try and give comfort and let them cry. So check them out - if the Grandparents are watching the baby for free(which most do), then get ready for the price tag of day care(my son pays$900.00 a month where he lives- for an infant). My children alwasy laughbecause I go right to the little ones before I even say hello -& it doesn't matter that they aren't my grandbabies. Just feel sorry that there are so many children out there that have Grandparents that don't care and don;t want anything to do with the lives of the grandchildren(like my own parents). I hope that you have been given a new way to think about things and might consider some of it. Take Care of yourself and your family, Nana Glenda

Tiffany,
it's tempting to hold your baby all the time because this phase won't last long and so you don't have to hear him scream but he needs tummy time. as often as he'll let you he should be down playing on the floor this is how he will learn, exlpore, and build his muscles. I have 3 kids ages 13, 9 and 21 mos. my youngest still wants to be held and he began walking at 8 mos old. good luck

Sling!!! I loved it. My kid would sit and observe everything, being close to me, and I had free hands to vacuum, wash dishes, read, walk, hike, whatever.

I had a native sling, which is basically a doubled piece of fabric with a reinforced seam, and I figured out my favorite holds for different tasks. Oh, and I definitely adhere to holding baby/nursing as long as you can stand to/cosleeping, so if my kid has any "bad habits" from all of that, I won't mind being blamed, because I thoroughly enjoyed parenting her exactly the way I think kids should be parented: closely and with lots of cuddles. I'm glad you love it all too!! Congrats!

Your dad is right. I was there myself and now that my baby is crawling I can only keep him in my lap for a few minutes. Having said that he is still clingy and I know and have been told it is because I am his safety/love tether. I am a SAHM and am with him pretty much 24/7. He is just starting to outgrow this clingy/needing to be held stage so while I know it is frustrating for you.....go ahead and hold him. The day will QUICKLY come where he no longer needs or wants you to hold him much. I was given this same advice on this website and boy were the moms right. He's still a little clingy at 12 mos but I know in a year or 2 I can forget it as I will not be able to compete with his sibling, friends, the great outdoors, worms he will find etc. Ha ha. I, also, wouldn't let him cry for two hours. Your baby needs something: to eat, diaper change, is teething etc. Btw, the doctor's never think their teething....my pediatrician (love him) would still tell me that except my child has 8 teeth now. So.....I go by my "mom" instinct and the advice of all the other moms in my life and on this website. You'll get through this exhaustion. Find time where you can: baby's nap or by having your husband watch him while you spend some time in your bedroom returning calls, emailing, balancing your checkbook, reading etc. It's a little easier for baby if you're out of sight (out of mind).

I read somewhere that when they are able to get farther away, they get a little clingy. It will probably happen when he starts walking too. Even though it can be tough to get things done, the best way to move through it is to hold him as much as possible. A sling or baby carrier will help. Just remember that it goes so fast and don't wish away the time. Before you know it you will be missing these baby days and wishing he would come cuddle.

I carried my daughter in a sling from birth pretty much till she decided she wanted to run free. It's not a bad thing if a 7 month is clingy. It likely is, as one other poster suggested, separation anxiety. So get a sling or baby carrier to free up your hands and enjoy the cuddle time. I promise he will want to run free at some point.
Good luck!

Dear Tiffany, congradulations on the birth of your first child. From all the classes in Early Childhood Development that I attended what I remember being taught was, that should hold your child when they cry. Your child is going through a separation period that all children go through when they reach a certain age. By holding your child when he cries he learns that he can depend on you when he is in need. Before you know it, he will be crawling and getting into everything. Good Luck, and remember they grow up really fast, and soon he won't need you so much.

Hi Tiffany,

I think this is very likely separation anxiety your son is experiencing. It is a very normal phase, so don't stress too much about it. You'll just have to practice doing things with only one free hand until he outgrows it. Perhaps now is a good time to invest in a baby carrier (such as Ergo), if you have not already.

Best wishes to you and yours,
Lilia

As everyone else says, this is just a normal phase. I also used a baby sling with great success. Now, she has a driver's licence and I'm glad I held her close when she wanted it.

Your dad is right- hold your baby. He's only seven months old, and this is what he needs right now. It won't last forever- and the place he is at is he needs to be held by mommy or daddy. Enjoy the extra cuddle time and know you are doing the best for your baby. :)

Holding your baby isn't going to damage him. Babies need love, comfort and a feeling of security.