Help! - New Bavaria,OH

Updated on October 26, 2008
A.H. asks from New Bavaria, OH
37 answers

I have home schooled before. Now I am faced with the possibility of doing so again. But I know my children do not want to loose their friends. I am afraind they will be bored and lonely if I do so again. I have a daughter in first grade and a daughter in kindergarten. I am having difficulties with their public school and private school is too far away. I home schooled preschool and Kindergarten for my oldest and preschool for my second daughter. I also have 2 other children at home ages 2 1/2 and 11 months. My oldest has convinced the school that she cannot read, but then comes home in the evenings and reads just fine for me. The school has placed her in special reading classes and has made things very easy for her. I have asked my daughter about why she is choosing not to read at school and she states, "why should I if they will do it for me. The extra class is fun." I am frustrated partially because of the lack of communication skills of the home room teacher. She does not want to communicate with me at all. Weather it be the allergy issues or the academics. I am left in the dark. As far as my other daughter, she is very bored. She was alreading reading well before kindergarten and the school is not making an effort to keep her stimualed. I understand that there is an adjustment period, but these are just a few of my issues with the school. I am ready to pull them out at the end of the month, but am concerned that they will be crushed. My husband doesn't want to tell the girls what is going on until after the fact. I think they deserve the right to say goodbye to their friends or even switch phone numbers. I know the girls are growing socially, but they are bored academically. I am tired of the watered down cirriculum. On one hand I am able to educate them at home. I have a teaching certificate for grades 1-8. On the other hand they are enjoying what they are doing... Help. I just don't know what to do.

For those of you asking about what school district we are in, I did not mention this due to the fact that we live in a very small school system in a rural farming area in northern Ohio. Also I did not want the teachers to find out before we were ready.

For those of you moms asking about our church, we are very involved in a great christion church of about 900 people. My husband is part time staff at the church. I volunteer occassionally in the childrens classes. The children are in church class at least 2 times/week. There class is made up of K-2, about 25-35 kids depending on what day of the week. They also have a playdate with other kids at least once per week. They attend ballet classes also. I feel they are making friends outside of the school. The friends they speak of most are the ones at the school probably because they see them more often. When we pull them from school the local YMCA also has one afternoon a week set aside for just home schooled kids. I know that there are options.

As far as my 1st grade daughter who is not reading at school, we think she is being shy more than trying to be deceitful. She finds it funny that the teacher is reading to her. But because the school placed her in this class so quickly, she never brought home any papers with poor grades. It seems as though the school is taking the easy way out. There are other issues we are not pleased about. These were just a few.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for you advice. Friday was the girls last day of school. We told them last Monday. They were both fine with the hole thing. Our Kindergartener was a little disappointed. I have planned a tea party for each of my girls and they were able to invite the girls from their class. I just hope some come. This will give us a chance to get somer contact information from the close friends. Also the girls are very active out side our home with ballet,church, and playdates with friends. I am looking into a homeschool afternoon at the local YMCA. I think it is 2 hours once a week. So far the girls seem to be fine with the whole transition. Yesterday was the first day of studying at home again and it went must better than I expected. I am sure some days will be easier than others, but I am putting together some special projects to help on those extra challenging days. I also plan on spending lots of time at the local libraries. I had no idea they had so many curriculum idea books. I am so glad we decided not to wait any longer. Our children are little sponges begging to be filled. I just pray for the wisdom and strength to fill them in a Godly way.

It has been over 2 months now and our girls have adjusted better than I could have ever imagined. Things are going great. I am extremely busy keeping up with everyones needs and education, but I am enjoying what I do.

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L.B.

answers from Columbus on

A., one thing you may consider is an online school. I work for Virtual Community School of Ohio. It is a FREE online school for students in grades 1-12 all over Ohio. Students go to school from home, but they have real teachers who teach via the internet. There are also face-to-face opportunities. VCS Ohio provides the computer, printer, scanner and internet connection. If you are interested in this option, you can learn more at www.vcslearn.org. I hope that's helpful. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

Can't think of any advice for you offhand but I'm in the homeschooling group for Indiana so thought I'd pass you the link in case it'd help you any. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IndianaHomeschoolers its a great place for advice on all kinds of stuff to do with education in general, not only strictly homeschooling.

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hello A.. I must say first off, if the teacher is not communicating with you properly I would load my kids up (all of them) and march myself right down to the school. I have two children in public and one in Catholic and I don't have a communication problem with any of the teachers. I can call them, e-mail them, or go to the school when I feel it is needed. If your oldest daughter is being stuborn (& possibly lazy) with her reading at school, I would demand they take her out of the special class that she obviously does not need. I agree with you that you do have a serious problem. Our 12yo would NOT write his name for his teacher in K and had everyone -but me b.c I made him do it- convinced he couldn't write his name at all. And let me tell you, he has had trouble in school ever since. He was never forced to do what he didn't feel he needed to do & he still opportates that way only doing some of his homework.
If you & your husband feel that homeschooling your children is what is best for your family; go for it. Exchange phone numbers with other parents and get involved in the homeschooling organization in your area. I know in big cities they have organizations where they all get together every so many weeks for socialization. Plus, you do not have just one child, you have four so your girls will interact on a daily basis with children of the same age group and younger/older. Hope that helps and best of luck!

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J.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi A.-
I just read your question, and my first reaction about your daughter who won't read in school is to tell her what you are thinking. If she doesn't start reading in school then you are going to pull her out and home school her again. It sounds like she is enjoying being around other kids and if she doesn't have to take that extra class then maybe she can pick something else to do instead that is even more fun for her.
I have a 4 year old so I am not in the school system yet, but dont they have advanced classes for the kids that are bored?
Just my two cents worth!
Good luck to you!
J.

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T.C.

answers from Columbus on

Hi A.! My daughter knows pretty much everything that she is learning in her 1st grade class already. We work with her a lot at home and she attended an exceptional 3 year pre-school/pre-K program before kindergarten. In both K and 1st grade, she was given very easy books to read. I spoke with the teachers each year about the "too easy" books they were sending home and they bumped her up. This year (1st grade) I asked the teacher why they had her at such a low level and how easy and boring they were for her. The teacher explained that when she asked my daughter about the book, she could not tell her about it and therefore the teacher felt that my daughter was not comprehending the book. I told the teacher that she tells me all about the book....maybe she is a bit nervous telling it to the teacher. SO....the teacher tried bumping her up to computer tests and take-home writing tests to make sure she is comprehending. She was! Now, she is reading books on a 3rd-4th grade level. Your girls' teachers should be open to communicating with you (my son struggled a bit in school, so I communicated a lot with his teachers for other reasons). If the teachers are not communicating with you, I would go directly to the principal to get it resolved. I am not sure what school district you are in, but my son is in 7th grade and I have only had one teacher that had difficulty communicating.....I went to the principal for resolution. The majority of the public school teachers will do everything they can to help the kids. Also, in our district, starting in 3rd grade the gifted children will be pulled out for half a day for special programs that keep them engaged and growing. Also, I challenge my daughter all the time at home with extra homework. :-) She loves it!.....sometimes she writes in a journal, or does difficult math problems, or we do verbal games that challenge her (math, spelling, etc).

My daughter really LOVES going to school and having time with her friends. I would hate for her to miss out on that. I make sure that I stay in constant communication with all of my children's teachers.....I do not complain or accuse, but I do inquire and question. That extra effort really goes a long way. :-)

Good luck!
T.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

This is going to sound harsh, so don't get your feelings hurt. I have been there myself. I have 3 children and I worked as a teacher's aide for 3 years. I have read a lot of literature about raising children and have witnessed what is going on in our public schools.

This is a discipline problem, whether you acknowledge it or not. Your children need to know that you expect the best from them and if they don't do it there will be consequences. It didn't happen overnight. The school must have sent home some bad grades, or the teacher would have communicated in some way to you that your daughter needs special help. THey don't put her in a class like that without permission.

You need to stop babying your children and start punishing them for not performing well when you know they are capable of it. Take all privileges away for the grading period. NO TV, no extracurricular activity, no friends until the report card comes in with all C's or better. Your child will suddenly get smart!

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K.I.

answers from Cincinnati on

A.,
Check out OHVA.org because you have a great nationwide challenging, stimulating, fun curriculum as well as teacher support (like a supervisor), and great social interactions. Yes, your girls deserve to maintain their current friendships, but developing new ones while being able to really learn and advance at their own pace is priceless. There are often Meet-and-Greet sessions where you can talk to parents currently in the program who can tell you all about it.
Best wishes,
K.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Talk to your kids about it. I know a few parent's who've opted to home school. One family said the kids asked about being home-schooled, and the mom told them, "Look, that means you'll have to stay focused, and do what I assign and it's going to be just like class but at home - is that what you want to do?" Their boys opted to go to school instead.

With the other family, they home-schooled both their sons, and they did just fine. They was a "home school moms association" or something and the kids played soccer and were involved in boy-scouts and some other activities too.

Let your oldest daughter know that if she's home schooled, you know she knows how to read, and the "jig is up." She's going to have to perform like you know she knows how. (and if she decides to stay in school, have a "come to Jesus" meeting with the school to let them know they need to step up - she doesn't need remedial reading classes if she already knows how to read.)

Just my thoughts for what it's worth....

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C.B.

answers from Columbus on

Most likely, they will not even have the friends they have now in the future so I would say go for it. Yes, while socializing is important at any age, school is mostly for learning. If they're not learning there, then take them out. They can get socialized at other places... just search the web and you can find all sorts of group activities with other homeschoolers in your area.

And I would speak with the principal while you're dealing with it. The teacher should not be ignoring you. Not to mention your daughter is learning that she can lie and be deceitful to them and get away with it. Not good!

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H.J.

answers from Columbus on

A., I hope that I do not offend you but the first thing that came to mind to me when your daughter said, "Why should I if they will do it for me" was the fact that she was telling a lie and that seemed alright with her. I think I would start there. Whether or not you home school her or keep her in public school she is going to need to be honest. The second thing I would consider is telling them what is going on and what you are considering. Number one, if your daughter is afraid to lose her friends then maybe she might think about being honest and doing her best work instead of being lazy. If your children are not being stimulated enough at public school you can always suppliment at home.

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R.B.

answers from Toledo on

A.,
I appreciate reading your concern, as I am homeschooling my preschooler right now. I'm sure you will hear from others who took their children out of school, so I'll just share some thoughts on what we do. Since my child is an only, we have regular social activities to keep her from being bored. Everyone gets bored sometimes, and I think it is good for children to learn to be alone sometimes. I think people today have a very hard time being alone and comfortable with themselves. We do story time at the library, plus usually go there another day of the week. Being in a small town, we often run into people we know, and our daughter has made friends there who live in the neighborhood and that she regularly plays with. She takes a weekly tumbling class, and we go to Family Fun Night at church and also children's special activities at other churches. The friends I remember most fondly from my own childhood were family friends, rather than friends from school, although some were both. I would definitely prepare the children ahead of time that they will be leaving school. Exchange phone numbers with those friends. There will be ample opportunity to get together after school and on weekends. Also join a homeschooling co-op to meet other families. Your concerns are valid, and it sounds like your husband is supportive. Be very upbeat and positive about the change, and I'm sure your children will thrive. Remind them of all the fun places you can go, like the zoo and children's museums, parks, the pool, etc...while other kids are stuck at school! Also, your kids will have the opportunity to be closer with each other and with you and your husband. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Wow! I can only imagine how you feel as a mom who KNOWS what your kids are capable of. It's got to be frustrating! I would actually video tape her reading at home, and show the principal at school one day during a one on one meeting. That way they can't say that she's needing "special help". They've got to have more material to keep her stimulated at school. I'm sure there are other gifted kids that they have had to deal with in the past. As a mother of two boys in public school, what do they say... you gotta do what you gotta do!! Get in there and be an advocate for your kids! No one else will do it but you. If you get in there and let the school know from the beginning that you are a mother who is a team player, one who wants to help your kids succeed, and will do whatever you need to do to achieve that goal, then they will work with you. If you don't push, they won't offer help. Believe me!! I'm living it right now! You need to have a heart to heart talk with your daughter and let her know that school is her job, and your job as her mommy is to make sure she's doing her job at school. If she sees you in school talking to the principal and teacher, she might straighten up. Even ask the principal to pull her aside and have a chat with her just to let her know how important it is to be at school. Sometimes they need to hear it from someone other than us as their parents. The principal can usually get the point across.

I have a girlfriend with five boys, ages 1 - 11, and she home schools them. She's completely frazzled, but she does it. Personally, I think it's a lot, especially with the two little ones (ages 1 and 2-1/2). She's trying to teach the boys, and the little ones are hanging all over her. It's not easy. It can be done, but you have to be very disciplined and organized.

Pulling them out of school would be a big move, but that's a decision that you need to make. I'm sure you will decide what is best for your kids and your family. I wish you the best of luck, but think it through before you make a quick decision! You'll do the right thing!

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

You need to set up a conference with the principal of the teacher and take some of your concerns to the School Board. They can and do give tests which place the children so your daughter's game plan should never have been an issue!!! I don't know which school your children are in but this should not be an issue! Secondly if you are wanting to pull them out and go back to Home Schooling why not wait until the end of the semester? This will give them the time you want them to have socially with their friends through the Holiday Season. I do not agree with the idea of them being kept in the dark about the fact they will be Home Schooled again. I find it to be decietful and cruel. I don't believe in the, "What you don't know won't hurt you," practice with children.
Being home schooled should never be a social problem, nor does it mean they should/could not continue to see friends. I know several families that Home School and their children have very active social lives with the other children in the area they live in, continue to see children they went to school with, and field trips and social activities with other home schooled children.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

You don't say if you've talked to anyone else. Have you gone to the principal and explained that your daughter reads well at home and that the teacher is letting her get away with this. I'm not sure what the allergies are, but the teacher certainly need to abide by your rules pertaining to the health of your child. Can your daughter be put in another class before pulling her out? Have you talked with a counselor? She seems young to be so manipulative as to get herself into a remenial class and still fake that it's not easy for her...maybe there is something else going on there that you are missing?
Good Luck! :)

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R.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Your kindergartner who is "bored". Has she told you this? Or have you asked her if she is bored? My son was also reading when he started kindergarten. They are supposed to know list 1 for the first 9 weeks, and he is on list 18. I worried he would be bored, but he enjoys talking about the letter sounds, practicing spelling words by sounding them out. He looks for sound "chunks" in words. There is still plenty for him to learn & practice, that the rest of the class is learning. And next 9 weeks, they will be divided into reading groups. The different levels vary from "reading" picture books, to his group that will be just him reading his level of book. He is currently reading at the end of first grade level. "Bored" could also be she doesn't like doing the work the way she has to now do it. Remember, your girls are used to one on one contact with their teacher. Being in a classroom and having to share the teacher is a new experience for them. They are sed to your undivided attention.
Ask your daughters if they would rather be home-schooled. You might be surprised by their answer.
R.

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T.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hi A., so sorry to hear about your troubles...sounds like you are a pretty good Mom...sounds like the school needs a wake up call...I only have one small suggestion if you will be pulling them out and worried about loosing friends. Stay close with all of the parents and involve the kids in other activities such as "brownies, girl/boy scouts"..."sports"... "dance" ect...they will more than likely keep some of their friends and definatley meet new ones. Wish you luck...T. in Ohio

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I understand your frustration; that is the reason I pulled my oldest out and began homeschooling both of my girls. You can keep them in touch with their other friends...sleepovers, parties, etc. Also, I'm not sure if this will work with your girls at this age, but you might find something similar. My youngest started taking drum lessons and we were able to get her into the band class at the school. She's not officially enrolled in the school; she just goes for that class. You might look into letting them take part in an extra cirricular activity or something which would keep them in touch with their friends.

Maybe if you had a party at your house either right before or right after you remove them from the school they could exchange numbers and such. The social part, I think, will come. It will be an adjustment, but I think you'll find it's much easier to take care of that than to get the school to challenge them academically. You'll do fine, Mom. I've been homeschooling since my oldest was in 4th grade and she'll graduate next year.

If you have any other specific questions, feel free to PM me!!

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J.R.

answers from Cleveland on

There is so much more to school than just academics. The social aspect is just as important, if not more so. School gives kids the opportunity to learn about friendships, conflict resolution, organizational skills, communication skills, accountability, and independence (to name a few). It also prepares kids to deal with all sorts of personalities and authority figures. Later in life these skills become increasingly more important than grades or raw intelligence.

More than likely, your school's curriculum will catch up with your kids soon enough, and they won't bored anymore. If not, maybe you can have them 'test out' of a grade.

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K.

answers from Lima on

Hi A., This is a difficult problem! I agree with the people who have suggested communicating more: 1. with your daughter. Tell her that if she doesn't perform to her ability, you will home school her. 2. with the principal. If the teacher is not performing as she should, the school should know about it. After those two meetings, I would wait a month or so and then make a decision. Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Evansville on

If your kids were in HS or JHS then, Perhaps, I'd be concerned about their socialization, but not as young as yours are. The best education a child can get is being homeschooled when it is done right. Most of the spelling bee winnners are homeschooled. Invite your children's friends over to your house so that you can get to know your kids' friends before you pull them out to homeschool, if you like. Also, most communities have home school support groups - groups of moms/parents that homeschool - that get together periodically to do field trips together or just get together for support - adults talk while the kids play together in a park, etc. Check it out. The teacher student ratio will inprove greatly when you homeschool. Go for it!

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L.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

A.... have you spoken to the principal? I would request a formal meeting with the teacher and the principal and make sure that the principal is aware of the lack of communication between you and your daughters teacher. I am not against home schooling but do feel that the socialization of school is also important to children. I would try to do as much as I could at the school before I took my children out. I also agree with you that your daughters should have a chance to say goodbye to their friends if you do choose to take them out.

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L.J.

answers from Cincinnati on

Dear A.,
Academically, emotionally, and socially, your kids will be better off at home. You need to get plugged into a gospel preaching church where your kids can find friends whose parents have godly values. It is best to pull them out when they are young. But if you pull them out, they need something to replace what is missing. That is why you need to find a church, if you don't already have one.
I have homeschooled my 2 children from 3 years old. They are 14 & 16 now. They are very involved in church and have made best friends there. They are also involved in theatre in the surrounding communities. People said that the teenage years are the worst but I can tell you they are the best years.
Make sure you find a homeschool group in your area for support. There are groups where the moms will teach certain subjects while other moms help. I send my kids to a science co-op. They are taught by moms who have more expertise and I help do experiments and grade tests.
Homeschooling can be challenging at times but with the Lord's help we can accomplish much. I think your kids might not like it at first, but if you get into a group to do field trips and some classes together, they will enjoy it too.

In Christ,
L. J

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N.N.

answers from Columbus on

I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds to me like the problem is with your daughter. She needs to perform in school. When it comes time to take tests, will she fail them because she doesn't want to do it? If she does then what? Will you let her get away with that? She's being lazy and that needs to stop. Tell her that she must do her best, take her in with you and have a conference with the teacher. Call the principal, get it scheduled! If she still refuses, you must punish her. There is no excuse for laziness in our house, you do your best ALWAYS! Taking her out of school is not going to solve the problem. The problem is the lack of respect for authority. If you remove the other authority, it will only reinforce that you didn't really think it was important afterall. She needs to learn that there are others in her life that have authority over her than just you. If you want to do enrichment at home, do it, but it sounds to me like your daughter really needs to be in school. You said that you have a teaching certificate; so what if there were a child in your classroom that was pulling this stunt on you. How would you feel about that child? Not only that; she's using a space in a (probably) federally funded program that another child who really needs the space now isn't getting. I'm sorry if I'm harsh, but I really feel strongly that your daughter is pulling a fast one on the teacher, and you're not only letting her get away with it, you're encouraging it.

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A.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I had these problems too with pulling the kids out.. At first they were frustrated, but what can you do. My 4 have their friends that attend regular school and they go on playdates after school and on weekends. No problem there... They have been given the choice wether to go to school this year or continue to be homeschooled and all decided they would NOT want to go back to school.. The transition was hard but after a couple days they should get the hang of being HS'ed again.. Good luck and Though I wish I could give you more, but from one HS mom to another, I think it would benefit the kids WAY more down the road in the future.. I didn't want my kids to forget everything they learned just to be with the rest of the class either.. I'm glad they chose to stay home...
A.
PS.. let me edit and add this too... My oldest DD was placed in sp. needs classes b/c she was dyslexic. She could write just fine as long as the teacher would alow that sometimes the b's and d's were backwards or she wrote 13 instead of 31, etc... but she liked the extra class too,, though she was writing instead of printing in 2nd grade. They pulled her out in 5th grade and had her take that class which would not allow her to write. ... only print.. They said it was to let her "catch up" with the others.. but to me it was just going backwards from her peers.. Bottom line,,, they're kids... and human nature tels us all that kids will prefer the easy way out,, but what will it do to their future?? No one said nor proved that the easy way brought success.... JMHO

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M.G.

answers from Cleveland on

My question is have you punished your daughter for being deceitful about her reading ability? Is she allowed to do this? Disrespect authority figures? Seems to me that that is an issue between your daughter and yourself (and her father). Ity appears to bea behavior issue.

I would make an appt with the school to discuss your concerns and see if there is a way to resolve the issues.

I think you should verbalize your intensions to your children about home schooling. i think being deceitful with them will only encourage your daughters own deceitful behavior (lead by example, right?).

I also think they are learning alot more than you think at school.

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K.C.

answers from Toledo on

What school are you in? I am moving to Ohio and would like to know. I too am a teacher and am very paticular. My head is just spinning with picking the right school.

My girlfriend here in Chicago had the same problem with her daughter, playing dumb to make things easier. My girlfriend did end up pulling her out and the daughter has just blossomed. Here we have a co-op and the girl has made new friends.
I think you need to tell the girls. They are old enough to understand and your one daughter just might change her ways if she knows you will not tolerate her playing dumb.
If you don't communicate with the girls they might not cooperate with you and it will be a disaster.

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K.D.

answers from Cleveland on

We just started homeschooling both my oldest two 6 and 5. They love it. They still get out with other kids there age too. We did ohva.com it is part of public school so all the books where free and they do get togethers every month. Plus some of my friends with kids the same age are homeschooling and we get together too. Plus my kids are going to start locally a dance class and some sort of sports for my son.. still looking for the right one. lol
Your hubby and you will know best what to do. There are pros and cons to both. Good luck and let us know what happens
oh I was homeschooled for several years, went to private and public school. I hated public. Private and homeschooling were my fav. That is why for my last two years of school I homeschooled I guess. I also graduated early.

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J.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Tough choices to be made, I don't envy your position. You can request a meeting with the school principal and the girls' teachers to discuss your concerns. A video of the girls reading at home may help your case. Pulling the girls out of school now may be disruptful to them and the class. Perhaps waiting until a school break would be better, if that is the decision that you make.

It sounds to me like you wanted to home school all along. There is probably a group in your area of other families that home school where the girls could still get social interaction.

Good luck.

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L.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I agree with Meghan in regards to your daughter's attitude about the special reading class. Your daughter's response just screams "future welfare abuser" to me. "Why should I read if they will do it for me?" doesn't seem too far off from "Why should I work for my food if Joe Taxpayer will do it for me?" (And I'm not generalizing all welfare recipients, just the few who don't give a hoot to actually grow up and try to improve their situation.)

In addition, what have you been doing to communicate with the teacher? If you haven't done anything you might want to talk to him/her - you might find a few notes haven't exactly made it into your hands and s/he assumes that you don't care about the situation since you haven't responded to them. Teachers are not psychic nor perfect.

And there are some teachers who need good parents to be involved in the school and be comfortable talking to the principal. Parents who develop a good enough relationship that the principal will feel a bit more motivation to side with the parent and take action if the teacher isn't doing his/her job.

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E.M.

answers from South Bend on

I would your daughters first of all tell your girls what you are considering ecspecially the oldest one. I would make it plain to her that part of the reason is because she refuses to read in class and maybe it will change her ways. I would also contact the school and try to arrange for a conference with both their home room teachers and see what they have to say before you make any final decisions. If they won't meet with you I would contact the principle and see what they have to say. The girls teacher should make themselves available to you. Also don't forget to remember your sanity at home too. YOu have two little ones that already require a lot of your time. You may go crazy this year with them being so young and trying to teach your two girls too. There are worse things then them being bored you can always offer them more education at home. Remember the first quarter is usually mostly review and needs to be, lots of kids loose so much over summer ecspecially since most don't have parents at home to work with them as much. Socially ahhh they will survive either way as long as you make an effort for them to have play time else where. It is a hard decison either way. I would say make all efforts you can to contact the school and discuss your feelings before making any permanent decisions.

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

One of the biggest reasons I home school my daughter is because of the fact that who knows her better then I do? I know if she is just trying to jerk around and not do the work or if she is actually having problems with something and needs the extra kick in the butt or a few extra hours/days working on a concept.
Believe me when I tell you I was the smart kid in class that always did poorly because I was BORED.... If I understood something new the first day the next 2 days the teacher took to cover it for the rest of the class to get it I would read a book and not do my work. If you don't want to home school your daughters then see about transferring to another school or another teacher even. It can make a big difference believe me! If you don't want to do that then I say pull your girls out!!! You know them and what they are capable of and if they aren't living up to it then be the parent and do what you have to (even if you aren't liked at the time). Exchange phone numbers, set up play dates, movie nights (dollar theaters are great for groups of kids), get involved in other activities. There are many different ways you can socialize with other children. Good luck A.. I pray you find something that works for your family.
~~~S.

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C.F.

answers from Cincinnati on

I too returned to homeschooling this year and am blessed to live in Cincinnati where there are lots of social opportunities for homeschoolers. Check out this website to see if you can find a group near you: http://www.cheohome.org/
I understand your frustration with the public school. Our local elementary is supposed to be one of the top elementary schools in Ohio and we were very unhappy with the education our daughter received last year in Kindergarten. I homeschooled her for preschool and she learned how to read very well, so we tried to start her in first grade instead of Kindergarten. She was 6 in October and has always been somewhat advanced. The principal told me that she is required by law to attend Kindergarten, but I later discovered that there is a First Grade early admission policy on the school's website! Early in the school year her teacher promised that she would challenge our daughter with extra work and we also talked about it several times throughout the year. Evidently this teacher has a problem with following through on her promises, because we never saw evidence of anything extra or challenging and our daughter was bored with the work. She loved being with all the kids and adored her teacher, but didn't advance academicly and actually regressed in spelling. Anyway, my daughter is now reading on a 5th grade level and the school refused to skip her ahead to 2nd grade for this school year or even do single-subject acceleration. This was all very upsetting, but the thing that really convinced me I needed to homeschool her was when I realized that she would be gone a full 8 hours a day riding the bus. I want to have a relationship with my kids and couldn't handle the idea of not seeing her 40 hours a week! Anyway, we are enjoying homeschooling again. As a certified teacher, I'm sure you would provide the best education for your girls. Make sure you talk to the girls though. It's not their decision, but you shouldn't blindside them with it either. Our daughter was actually more receptive to homeschooling than we thought she would be.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hello A., You don't say what school district you are in. I understand your frustrations. My oldest don was bored to death in Kindergarten when he went to Cincinnati Public. We had very little contact and from being newly out of school and going to a good district growing up I could not understand the lack of attention by the teacher. I had to beg for a PTC and was told it's only for troubled students. But she wanted to hold this bright little guy back. It was funny his first grade teacher was surprised he wasn't reading before first grade because he picked it up so quickly. He was doing Math before K and also would sit for hours drawing very detailed drawings. While not a certified tacher I have tudored many children and have been told I made a diffrence. Working with the youngest Grandson now who is not quite 3 and he knows numbers by site, Can count, Knows a bit of addition. Knows the alphabit and some letters by site. Also learning their sounds now. I worry if he is not properly stimulated I may be harming him when he gets to school.
If your afraid your children will miss their friends arrange play dates once a week. Maybe at the local park, your home might also be another location. Possibly the other parents would host them too. I told my oldest son if I had of known then what I know now I would have home schooled him. He stated he didn't think that was a good idea. He has worked with guys who are home schooled and they have socal issues. I also know of a young man who was home schooled and he freaks when he is around people but I think it's also because he has other issues.
I think before I cut my ties at school I would request a visit to the classroom and observe myself. Also I would bring th principal into it. Another question - How long has this teacher taught? She may either be young and just isn't use to children who are more advanced or she could be so old she needs to retire. Some times we as parents need to be a little forcful to let them know we really do care and aren't like other parents who think children are a bother. I had to step in when my youngest son was in High school. They had an Industrial Arts teacher leave due to health issues. He was making A's (Teacher was so impressed that both my boys knew their way around the shop and did projects much harder than most would even look at). The new teacher failed him for the whole year. I pitched a fit and told the guidance counciler and the prinipal based on a point system and the grades he got the first half of the year the lowest his grade should have been was a C. They argreed and changed it. I also learned the entire class failed and most of the parents spoke up for their children. Is it possible to sit in class without being seen. Maybe they could hide you behind something where you could listen and watch somewhat. Maybe the teacher just doesn't like your child. That also can happen which I think is terrible that someone would dislike a child. My son had that happen too. He scared her so she hated him. She even told me to my face he scared her. Math teacher and he was very good in math. Not a wiz but she was such a boring tacher he slept thou class and could still answer board work when called on from a dead sleep. He never could tell you how he got the answer but h can do math the advanced teacher could not do except on paper long form. Good luck I hope it helps.

One more thing I forgot to add. It's not cool anymore to be smart. Maybe her choice of friends needs looking into. She could be hanging with kids who make fun ofher being so smart. My youngest son had a friend who honestly is dumber than a box of rocks. Perents were into drugs heavy growing up and I have found out since they ended their relationship he too is a drug adict. My son use top say what does it bother you? His parents don't care. I Told him it was because we loved him and wanted what was best. He was home schooled because he could not stay out of trouble. I don't feel he had a very good education.

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M.M.

answers from Youngstown on

Wow! We have very simalar stories. I am facing the same problem, but my 1st grader has not given up in school, but he is bored and says he is only there to see his friends. I also have 4 children same ages as yours.

You know the right thing to do, your girls may not understand it now, but in the long run they will see how lucky they are to have parents willing to do everything for them to be sucessful in life.

They can keep their friends, and make new ones through homeschooling groups. It will be an adjustment, but they will be fine. I think you should talk to her about what is going on though, she can understand that what she is doing in school will not get her anywhere and will cause harm to her later, once she is tracked for learning issues, it's a hard thing to get past, that's just how the system is.

I wish you luck, believe in yourself and your children.

M.

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L.H.

answers from Canton on

Hi A.-I home schooled my oldest all the way through and my youngest I am doing 9th grade with right now. My kids have never been to school a day in their lives. One thing I will tell you is you have to be willing to do stuff that keeps them involved with other kids. I did youth group for years and the kids loved it. If you have a church see what kinds of programs they have available. This is one of the cheapest easiest things to do. Girls scouts is another idea. I do disagree with your husband. We need to show our kids from an early age that they are part of the decision making for their lives and that we are not rulers over them. Let them say goodbye to their friends and also if you know some of the mothers work out play times with them. Your kids need other kids. I would recommend home schooling to anyone-good luck-L.

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A.W.

answers from Toledo on

I am not an advocate for homeschooling at all. They need that social interaction with other children their age AND they need to learn to be away from home. I am a SAHM and watch other kids in my home but have had to put my 4 yr old in preschool, even though I do "preschool" here just to get him used to being away from me. Anyhow, I think if you are having trouble with one child you should not punish them both by whipping them out of school. Deal with the child that has the problem. I think that you need to be more assertive with the teacher/school and with your daughter. There should be consequences for not applying herself in school when you know that she can do it. I just think after only 2 months or so taking them out of school would not be the right thing to do!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

For me, I choose school. I have a boy who lags in the socialization. He doesn't small uncontrolled changes that he doesn't want to happen well and I feel the best place for him to learn is a place where they happen often, school.
I am also grateful enough to have a school that works with him in each category where he is at right now. The work the areas that are weak, and continue to strength his strong areas. She's even noticed things that are small, such as next to certain kids he does better or worse; showing his weak areas aren't all that weak. (Not bad for a public school!)
On the other hand, if I didn't have all that amazment, I'm not sure that he would be in school either at this point. I do feel bad for him b/c we do still do a lot of extra work at home. He's a boy and kindergarten pace is a bit quick.
I would talk to the girls about it. I would never dare make a change in my sons life such as taking him out of school without first talking it over with him, hearing his side. Maybe your daughter will just start reading if she knows she will lose her friends. Set a conference with the other teacher, and if you still don't get the communication you want set a conference with the principle; that is if you so choose to leave them in school.
I wish you the best of luck!

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