Help:( - Chesapeake,VA

Will he still be here when you have the ultrasound where you can find out what the sex of the baby is? If so, I recommend finding out so he can be present for an "It's a boy" or "it's a girl" moment.
Congratulations!!

Another idea is maybe let him pick the name? I know it's usually something that is done together...but maybe he will feel a lot more involved if that is something he can do...

But you've got a lot of ideas below too.

My husband was in the Army and I understand all about him being gone.
The best thing that you can do is to talk to him and tell him that you are so thankful for all of his hard work. Tell him that he is your hero. Tell him how brave he is for doing this for you and your family. Tell him that you understand that he does not want to go and that you do understand that this will be h*** o* him and that you would love some of his ideas of how the two of you can keep in touch to make him feel better.
Tell him that you will miss him and that you will stay strong for him, yourself, and for your baby.
Tell him that this is only for a little while and that the two of you have forever to spend together.

All I can really say is talk, talk, and talk some more.
Cry if you want to.

The two of you need to talk about this ~ That when he comes home your baby will think of him as a stranger. Your little one might not want him to hold him or her because they feel uncomfortable. TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS, SO THAT THIS DOES NOT HIT HIM LIKE A BRICK. HE NEEDS TO REMEMBER THAT HE WILL HAVE TO TAKE IT IN BABY STEPS WITH YOUR LITTLE ONE.

Just support him 100%.
Try not to let it get you down that he won't be there.
Always remember, he doesn't want this for you and him and for your child.
He has no choice.
When you get sad, and trust me you will ~ think of him and where he is and how bad it is for him and how much he misses you and your baby.

Tell him that we all say " thank you for fighting for our country and for our freedom."

God Bless you all.

My husband left for a year in Korea exactly one month after our wedding. He missed all the holidays, birthdays, and our first anniversary. The only difference for us was that our son was 5 years old when he left. He was gone for another year when he was deployed to Iraq.

I didn't want my husband to miss out on everything just because he was gone so I wrote him a letter every day. Even if we talked on the phone or online, I still wrote and mailed a letter every day. I wrote about all the things that happened that day, what was going on with our son, and about family and friends. When it was a boring day I wrote about what was in the local news so he was up to date on local stuff. He kept every letter and has told me several times that those letters were so important to him. Even when we talked on the phone or online, he still looked forward to the daily letter. I also sent care packages twice a month. They were filled with things he wanted but I also put little whimsical things in there too. For example I sent him a little green alien that says "I love you, be my valentine" when squeezed. Just little things to make him smile.

Since you are pregnant and will have the baby while he's away maybe take a picture of yourself every week and send it to him. Stand in the same place each time if you can so he can see the difference from picture to picture. Even if he gets to see you through a webcam online he will still want the pictures. My husband loved getting pictures when he was overseas.
Get a video camera to record labor and delivery and have someone take photos. I would send him the photos, but not the video. I'd wait and watch that together when he gets home. Send him pictures of the baby and take videos of the baby too to share with him.

Before he leaves try to do as many fun things together as you can and go to your doctor appointments together so he's included in the baby as much as possible. Don't let a minute of time be wasted on disagreements, or petty things. While he's deployed make plans for things to do when he gets home. Plan a vacation or whatever, but plan something for y'all to look forward to.

Before he leaves take a lot of pictures of him to show the baby. Babies recognize faces and that will be a way that baby will know Dad. Also have him read some books on tape or video for the baby and make that part of the bedtime routine.

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Get a good video camera and learn how to use it.

Get a good camera and learn that too..

Send him cards with the baby's foot print or hand print every time you send a package. Or at least once a month.

Send the paper from the dr's office of how big the baby is. THey usually measure the baby on the table and mark the paper. Take it and send it to Daddy.

Decorate the tree with a big yellow ribbon. We got a big white tree from Walmart and put red, white and blue and Marine ornaments on it.

Get some of those Egghead grass grower kits. Don't do a chia pet, they are hard. Send him some "green". Micheal's, Hobby Lobby and AC Moore have them.

At Thanksgiving if you are having a huge family get together, get one of those recordable books or cards and have everyone record a message on it. Include the baby's coos, if he's there by then.

Invite his mom to your familys' functions, if you like her. This will help him know that you are trying to include her in the grandbaby's life even without him.

Go to her house.

Know that this will not be so bad. You have family with you. As the baby gets older deployments will become harder and harder. When the baby is in middle school and high school then you will tear your hair out.

My hubby was on a ship and I sent him videos of the kids in Timeout. He and all the married guys would sit and watch our kids just be kids. I sent naughty days and good days. They would have homevideo days with my kids.

Have him go to the chaplian and see if he has the children's books to read to the baby. MY hubby sent a few dvd's home of him reading.

Have him read stories in CD or tape and play it nightly for the baby, even while you are still pregnant.

Good luck. Deployments over Holidays and births and birthdays are just sucky.

I had a friend do the Skype thing, and that was great for them. Also, have your husband read stories, and video them - and play them every night for your baby. Make a big deal about daddy reading a bedtime story. Put pictures of him everywhere too.

First, I would like to say thank you to your husband for fighting for our country, and thank you for the huge sacrifice you make each day and will continue to make until he returns. And I second what Mommy said in her response. My husband is a firefighter so I know every time he walks out that door I am uneasy until he comes back, so I could not imagine you facing that fear daily. My prayers are with you and your future family for a safe delivery and a safe return for your husband. Good luck to you!!

loads of pics and video. ask way ahead if they don't allow this maybe they have a form youneed to sign.

Can he/you do Skype????
Have a lap top computer in the hospital room at your birth, and use Skype?
Get an eyeball camera for your computer, to do Skype.
Tell your Doctor/the hospital of your circumstances, and so that you can ask them if you can have the laptop in your room at birth.
And have cameras, all charged up, and ready, to take photos/videos, etc.
GET a family member, to be in charge of this... to help you. Once you are at the hospital to give birth.

www.skype.com

The actual time you give birth, may or may not be, 'on time' per the projections.

Take photos, each month, of your belly and how its growing. And e-mail it to him.

Get the book "What To Expect The First Year." about baby development etc. For you. I loved mine, when I had my 1st child.

Via www.kodakgallery.com you can make (I did this) a Christmas photo ornament of your baby. I do this every.single.year for my kids, and we put it on our tree. It shows how the kids are growing/changing each year, and when they become adults, I will give them their photo-ornaments, to put on their own tree, and with their families. I, in Sharpie pen, put the year, each one was made. I do this for each of my kids. They love it as do we. That is our Christmas ornament 'tradition.'

Have a onesie infant outfit made, (the one that your baby will wear from the hospital) and have it personalized with "I love Daddy" on it. Then take a photo of your newly born infant, in the onesie, and you can e-mail it to your Husband.

Once you find out the gender of your baby.... you and Hubby decide on a name! Name choosing can really take time! You and hubby already maybe, make a list of the names you like, for both genders.
And choose one.

Designate, ALREADY, who will drive you to the Hospital, once you are in labor.
Pack your bags, ahead of time, for the hospital.

I would ALSO, talk with your Doctor, per birth... and what if you need a c-section??? Do you need your Husband to sign off on any papers??? I had an emergency c-section with my 1st child. My Husband, had to sign off on the papers, too.
So ask your Doctor about this.... and if so, then maybe you'd need to have these sorts of papers, signed off already, just in case. ????

Take video of the events and if your comfortable the birth. I read of a soldier who watched his baby be born over skype I believe. We live in a wonderful time where being miles away doesn't have to seem that far all the time. You can also writes lots of letters, emails and video everything you can. Have him keep a journal to show his kids when their older of his deployment and write how he feels in that journal. Good luck and Thank you and your husband for your service to our Country.

tell him think of the stories that he can tell his grandkids, for you, i can recommend "love stories from world war 2", you will go through an entire box of tissues but, you will see that forced long term separations that happened during world war two made the relationships stronger, the mementos more cherished, the fighting men and women more respected and the departures harder, but, on the other hand, we dont celebrate hitlers birthday, either. i dont know about you but, my german is lousy.hug your husband once for me
K. h.

Skype, facebook. Make a pg-13 (lol) video of the birth. He may faint if he sees beyond the "white sheet", plus there will be a HUGE chance his coworkers will be there. Make videos for each holiday for him, stuff you don't care his coworkers seeing either. It's not that it will happen, but from my experience they usually herd around videos if they see it or they have a public video room sometimes. Or you could make the same videos and put them on facebook for only him to see (customize the privacy).

Or like Cindy said make the videos and wait til he gets home and watch them together and send a ton of photos while he is there. I'd send one video though of his child after the birth :) and then some random ones throughout.

Video tape and take pictures A LOT. Skype him when you can. Involve him as much as possible with what is going on with you and the baby. That is good that you have the support of your extended family

I so agree with Mommy....the best thing you can do is to stay as positive as you can...of course you are going to be upset that he is going to miss so many important events...but the best thing you can do is to send him off with as positive an attitude as you can. My husband spent 30 years in the Army and I jokingly say that he went into his commanding officer at each new posting and gave him our anniversary, everyones' birthday dates, and told the commander to make SURE that he was not at home on those days!! At the time it was not fun...celebrating all of those special days and having all of the Christmas's and Thanksgivings without him but I knew he wasn't any happier about it than I was.
If you have a laptop for your husband....get SKYPE downloaded and learn how to use it. Our son is currently stationed in Iraq and we message each other on Skype almost every single day. RIght now he doesn't have the capability of using the sound or video but hopefully your husband will be able to. Talk with the hospital where you are planning on having your baby...(take your husband in with you for a tour so he knows where you are going to be) ask them what type of arrangements they can help you make so that your husband can be there...visually...when you are ready to give birth.
After your baby is born, skype can be even more important to help your husband your baby get to know each other. Let him talk to your little one on Skype everyday....hopefully by becoming acquainted with your husbands' voice...it won't take so long for them to bond when he gets back home and they are together physically.
How much of your pregnancy is going to remain when your husband deploys? You can send him copies of sonograms, take some special yarn and measure your growing belly and mail it to him each few weeks or once a month so he can see how much bigger you are . Lots of care packages will be just the thing to make him feel loved and missed. Include lots of pictures, details of doctors visits etc. Plan on sending a Christmas package to him pretty far in advance...mail can really bog down during the holidays. I am assuming he is going to Iraq or Afghanistan...each place has it's own particular needs as far as what the men and women there need but don't have access to. My son hit me with a new request today that I had never thought of...he wants some of those hanging air fresheners ( like you put in a car) for his room...who would have thought of that??? He also wants dog treats for the 2 compound dogs that they have inherited from the last unit that was there.
You just never know what he is going to need or want until he gets there. During our sons last tour in Iraq he started a support group for Iraqi women and children in the area and we helped by sending school supplies, personal hygiene items, candy, gum, etc.
As Mommy so wisely has already told you...stay as positive as you can...remember he isn't happy about this either but he has no choice. Our job, as military wives is to put on a smile, be brave and keep the home fires burning while our spouse is gone. Keep reminding yourself that this year will come to an end...he will be home and you will have such a wonderful time catching up on all of the things that he missed. In order to do that I hope that you are going to be following your little one around with a video camera so that he can watch all of the milestones that happened while he was gone. The first smile...the first tooth, the first time to sit up, ...etc.
Good luck to you...congratulations on your upcoming new little one and please give your husband a big hug and kiss from me...tell him I said thank you for being willing to help to defend our freedom and tell him how very much he is appreciated.

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