Newborn Baby and Husband in Iraq

mary, I will be going through something similar very soon. My husband just deployed for the very first time after 7 years in the army. We have a daughter that just turned 5 two days ago and our second baby girl is due in March. My husband is afraid that the baby will be scared of him and not know who he is when he gets home. She will be about 6-7 months old at that time. Inform your husband you have everything under control even if at times it feels that you don't. He should feel and know that you and your son are safe and being taken care of.

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You can maybe keep a video journal and everyday tape your baby and what your baby's doing so he can watch it when he gets home. Or if you have more time, take a picture of your baby every day and write in a journal for him about what your baby did that day and then put every picture you took on the oppostie page and when he gets home he can read it and have it forever. That way he doesn't totally miss every thing. I know it is hard having a baby and being a mom, I too gave birth in January. And I can only image what it must be like to not have him there. But this way he will have something to look back on and still feel like he was there every day. Good Luck!

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My husband missed many of our daughter's milestones while he was in Iraq. I video taped stuff for him all the time. Seeing that we (our son, daughter, and myself) were fine helped. It's one thing to hear someone tell you on the phone that they are ok, it's another to see them and that they havent lost a lot of weight or color you know. I burnt the video to dvd that he could watch on his laptop. God bless.

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The best thing you can dof for your husband is send him lots and lots of pictures so he can see how well you and the baby are doing, reassure him everything is ok and always tell him how much you miss and love him! Being in the military is a sacrafice in itself but knowing you have your families support makes the mission a little less miserable and the seperation a little more bearable.

USN Retired

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My husband has been in Iraq for 3 years and we have 2 girls...Send lots and lots of pictures that is what my husband lives for....People make fun of me because I take so many. I say at least I can capture a little moment for him to enjoy since he cannot be here.....

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My husband was in Iraq when my daughter was born. Every time he would call I would tell him not to worry and that everything was fine. I would also tell him that the baby was to little to be affected by it. When he came home he told me that made him feel better because he would always worry about us being O.K. I am a military wife and you need anything please do not hesitate to ask.

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M.,

I read some of your responses, and there is not more some one can tell you. My husband was also in Iraq when our daughter was 2yrs old. He is Army, so his tour was 1 year. It's the hardest thing you will have to do. Can you email him? Send lots of pictures of both of you. Do you have a good family support team? If the units family support is not good. Make your own support team. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Look at Little Rock AFB for Day care, so sometimes you can have me time. That was my mistake, I didn't take enough me time. I guess I felt guilty having me time when I was the only parent our daughter had at the time. Just keep reassuring your husband that you are both fine. Take care, S.

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Hi if you figure it out I would love to know. My husband is in Iraq right now and we have a baby due Jan. 09th. I mean it is our second child BUT our first child is 21months old and my husband has been lucky to be home for 4 months of her life. So I know it is hard and he really has a hard time with it so I make sure I send him new pictures all the time.

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What my mom used to do when my dad was stationed over there was she would record my brothers laughter and his first words. My dad loved this and she would also send him pictures of us to make his day even better. She would also send my brother's favorite shows recorded on a cassette so he would see and her what his every day activities would be. She would even send a piece of clothing over there so he would remember he has a job to do so he could come back home safe and sound. We are a family of 4 and now when I hear about what it was like to be with out our dad I see people going through what i went through with my mom. Now I have my own family. So hopefully this will help you out.

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Hi,
My name is D. and I am married to a marine that has been to Iraq twice.
A lot of times when bad things happened at home, I didn't let him know until I had fixed the problem,saving my husband from being distracted and worried. Do not give him bad news, there is no way that you can stop the worry but you can curve it a little bit. And as always, send him pictures, emails about the baby, all of his, her milestones will help a great deal.My husband willl soon be going back to Iraq, and I will have to go thru this again, if you ever need adult time, just to chat, you may email me at ____@____.com strong,
D.

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My husband (Airforce) went to Korea and was gone until our son was 9 months old. We just sent lots of pictures and videos of him each month and let him talk to him on the phone. Our son reconized my husband by his voice when he got home and they never had a problem bonding at all. Just try keeping him involved even though he is gone by pictures and all that you can think of.

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A friend of mine would burn videos and pictures on a CD and send them to her husband. Also, if possible you could set-up a webcam and home and he can perhaps do the same and you can chat via msn/webcam. I don't know if you are able to do that, but I have heard of several people who were stationed in Iraq who were able to use a private webcam/labtop.
My daughter spends every other week away from me, and it helps me so much to get daily pictures and videos, and my husband telling me about her daily activities.
Good luck and hang in there.

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Another thing you can do is if you have a digital camera take tons of pics and then load on them up online. Photobucket.com is a great site for that. You can also load videos up on there . So you can take pics and video and load them on there. Send him a link and let him look on there. You can also use youtube.com to load videos for him to watch. Do videos of your son sleeping or whatever and load them up for him to watch.
Have a friend do some pics of you and your son together adn vidoes as well. This way he can see you both and know you are both doing good.