He Was Supposed to Have 10 Day Suspension

When I was in high school if you got caught smoking pot on campus (or cigarettes) then you got a 3 day suspension, if you got in a fight (like your son sorta did) you got In School Suspension for 1 day.. If it was your first offense and it was pretty understandable sometimes you got no punishment.. seriously, 10 days for a KID biting another kid for being a jerk?! This school sounds INSANE. I've never heard of a HIGH SCHOOL being that harsh, much less an elementary school.. I'd be raising hell, 10 days out of school for a kid is crazy, if he missed that many days on his own they'd be having major issues with it!

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I think the school acted right. Of course you don't feel your son should be "tattled on" because he is yours, but the mother of the child that was being told he could not use the blocks probably supports her son standing up for his rights. Should he have knocked down the blocks at clean up time? No, of course not, but that is a normal things kids do. Did knocking those blocks down cause your child physical harm or injury? No. Did biting this other child cause him physical harm or injury? Yes! and because of that simple fact alone the suspension was warranted. Biting, hitting, kicking, ect... are never ok, for any reason, even if the child feels justified. As for is 10 days is too long, it does sound like a long time, but I did not see how badly injured the other boy was. I mean, if there is going to be scaring than 10 days may be just right, but if it was just a little red mark, than 1-3 days would be enough. Also, is this your son's first offense, or has he bit, or hit other kids before this? Because if he had already been warned, than a longer suspension will often be given.

I just saw were he was only given one day? Why are you complaining? He assaulted another kid and got off with one day, you should be thankful.

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I took a quick look at our student handbook. There is nothing, NOTHING, that a child in K-5 can do in our school to recieve a 10-day suspension. Fighting, the 3rd offense, gets a one-day suspension OR a parent supervised day at school.

Suspending a Kindergartner for biting is excessive and ineffective. The teacher needed to handle this situation in the classroom, immediately, and inform you of it. That's all.

I would take this all the way to the superintendent and the school board.

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That's pretty harsh for a first time offense for a kindergartner. I've never heard of anyone under 3rd or 4th grade getting suspended for more than a day before in our public school system.

Many hugs to your son. He did the wrong thing by biting, but it sounds like he had a really rough time with the other child. It's totally within your rights to ask the teacher to monitor their interaction and ensure your son isn't being bullied. At age 5 or 6, no child is perfect, but what would a 10 day suspension prove? I think it's a bit crazy.

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A days suspension is not unreasonable, 10 days is too long unless there's an ongoing repeating issue.
Considering the other kid incited the incident, did he get a day suspension, too?

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Hi, Sam -- I replied to the earlier post. Wow. So to be clear -- he only got one day but it could have been 10, and the principal made a judgement call that one day was appropriate. Is that correct? He's not going to have to do 10 days after all? If so -- glad the principal and/or teacher made that decision.

I would get active and get a copy of the school system's rules on discipline and suspensions. If it is that harsh for elementary students, there's something wrong. A sixth grader beating up another kid -- yeah, 10 days may be very appropriate. A kindergartener biting another child on a first offense -- no way. Ensure that other parents know the policies too and consider if you think it's worth working to change those policies. Be clear, if go that route, that you are not trying to defend your son's behavior (you know that he was in the wrong and have been admirably clear about that and the need for him to have consequences--good for you). But if parents don't take on potentially harsh punishments now and fix the rules now, the issues at higher grades could be serious.

Our school system is in the throes of many high school parent complaints about overly harsh discipline. This stems from several cases of high schoolers being suspended for MONTHS at a time, and forced to move to new schools permanently--losing their support systems, the teachers who know them best, etc. -- because of infractions including having a prescription acne drug in a school locker (the girl forgot she had it with her and stuck it there, but the fact it was prescription and only an acne med didn't matter -- she was still suspended for seven weeks and forced to move to another school permanently). That's just one of several cases of kids with no "records" whatsoever being suspended for lengthy periods for infractions that were not violent and were not related to any serious drugs. So think today about the future and get yourself and other parents involved if you see a system that has disciplines that keep kids out of class so much they are only likelier to get into more trouble.

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It seems to me that the school policy is that a suspension can last anywhere from one to ten days, depending on the severity of the offense or how many times the offense has occured.
They didn't suspend your son for ten days and it's highly unlikely that they would have given his age and this being his first offense.
He deliberately bit a kid. I would just take the day suspension and make sure your son understands that no matter how mad he gets, biting is not the answer.
It's not going to ruin his academic record or anything, but it should be taken seriously.
One of the gals I work with had to leave early today because the school called to let her know her son was being suspended due to an incident on the bus. A kid had been taunting him and he hauled off and let the kid have it. He had never been in trouble before, he's a straight A student, but they had no choice other than to suspend him for a day. And, he's not allowed on the school bus for a period of time, I didn't get to hear how long.
I wouldn't want to be that kid tonight, let me tell you. His mom was pretty mad. You can't just punch somebody because they have a big mouth.
Anyway, my son's elementary and middle schools.....I think they handled it the most brilliantly. Kids got IN-school suspension...IN the principal's office. Nothing to do but school work all day long. They even ate their lunch in there. You know how long a day must seem when it's spent right under the principal's nose?
I'm sorry to say that many parents don't take discipline very seriously and a day of suspension can mean hanging out at home watching TV or going to the mall with mom and having a day off. Not exactly a deterrent. It's practically a reward. I personally think in-school suspension is a far better method. Five year olds are too young for that, especially if they're sent home for already having a melt down, but it works great with older kids.

Just my opinion.

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10 days is a bit excessive for anyone let alone a 5yo ... I would say two days would be enough for all parties to calm down and understand their actions.

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I wonder if the school wasn't a bit more strict because biting is a very unacceptable thing to do and it used to have to be reported to the health department when I babysat in nurseries. Maybe still does. I wouldn't know, you don't know either, what really happened but whether your son was more or less at fault would not be my major concern if it was my child. I would be taking these 10 days to make sure he knows biting is not right, he should not do it again, and whether or not the other child was 'as bad' your son should know he was wrong. The other boy is not the issue right now for you and your son. If he continued to have issues with the other boy I would go to the school and talk about what should be done.

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ouch - it really does sound excessive - 10 days!! None of my kids have ever been suspended so I don't know what our school would do.

I think there is more to the story. The other boy tattled on him - okay - but I bet there is something deeper going on with this other boy and it's not the first time he's pushed his buttons....

Please talk to your son and find out what's going on with this other boy. Especially so it doesn't look like the other boy is the victim...he might have that part down pat. Just start asking open ended questions and let him talk - don't judge or get mad...just ask if Johnny has done this before (tattled on you)? or how does Johnny treat you and the other kids?

GOOD LUCK!

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10 days seems excessive. I would talk to principal and straighten everything out. 1 day is reasonable but 10 is not.

M

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I think 5 years old is alittle too old for biting. Sounds like a toddler thing. I don't think many schools have to worry about children biting.

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I think a 10 suspension is obnoxious and not at all age appropriate.

I have nannied kindergarten age children and can tell you that when something simillar happened with my girls both families got a phone call and the kids (the biter and bite-ee) got time outs because both of them were in the wrong and both of their behaviors led to the situation.

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10 days for that first offense incident seems very, very heavy-handed to me, personally. I honestly don't know what my school district would do for that type of first offense, but I would fight it tooth and nail should a 10 day suspension verdict come down. I'd go to the school board.

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I have found that schools around here have the same rules for high school as they do grade school. What makes this really crazy is how they adapt the rules for the younger grades. So because of the violence in high schools they have a zero tolerance for weapons. So a child brings a plastic dinner knife in their lunch....one week suspension.

So if it is the same, in your son's case attacking another student carries a two week suspension. This ignores the difference in the attack, the maturity and ability to control one's self and all of that.

If that is the case be grateful that your school allows administrators to think and properly apply. I have heard many cases where they don't. :(

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Get a copy of the school's parent/student handbook, the school's discipline policy should be explained in the handbook. In the school I worked at, a 10-day suspension was possible to get for repeated offenses. First offense might be a 1-day suspension, 4th might get a 10-day. Talk to the administration if you're unclear on the policy, the policy that was approved by the school board. They have probably found this to be an effective way to cut down on major discipline problems in the school. As a parent, I would much rather my son go to a school with a tighter more black and white discipline policy than one with a lot of gray area, I have seen the difference first hand.

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10 days is ridiculous. Two kids in my older kids' middle school got 10 day suspensions for carrying and trying to sell weed at school (8th grade). That's the kind of thing a 10-day suspension is for. I'm sure that he has learned his lesson already. Hopefully they don't enforce that.

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I don't know about my school. But I imagine the issue is that elementary schools have the same rules for ALL kids. Imagine if an 11 year old bit a kid and drew blook. Doesn't 10 days seem more reasonable? Or maybe not even enough?

You are in a situation where you probably have a good kid who did a really awful thing. It's probably an aberation. Probably will never happen again. But the rules are there to deal with all the kids, and I would want such a rule if my child was the one who was assaulted. I think what your child did was horrible and dangerous and incredibly scary for the other parents.

So if they adjusted the punishment downward, consider yourself lucky.

Now I do think suspensions are kind of dumb as punishments, and should only be used as a way to keep other kids safe or have a kid evaluated, etc. I think there are far more productive ways to deal with kids who act out than letting them have "vacation" days. But that is a seperate issue.

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Your 15 year old did not have a fist fight in the hallway cause another student to be hurt and bleed. Your 5 year old Kindergartener bit another kid causing a bruise and drawing blood. IMO, it's the teacher's responsibility to act swiftly to ensure that it will never happen again and to inform both parents about the issue. Policy is there for a reason - but I think that they are taking it way too far. You should be speaking to the princpal and putting your foot down. It was a first offense - and a bad one for the poor kid who got bit - but any suspension is rediculous!!!! The teacher should be on your side about this. Your child has the right to education - and that other kid has the right to education in a non violent environment - but any suspension is too much for a 5 year old. Good luck!!

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The entire situation is crazy. At my son's school, they are not required to share, if a child wants to use something that another child is using, they can wait until the first child is done. They take turns. Tattling is not encouraged. My son's teacher would probably have asked the kids to sit down for a moment and then had them discuss the situation with her present to help them brainstorm how to handle this next time. I suspect actual learning would have occurred. A zero tolerance policy for kindergartners. WOW.

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One day is fine, 10 is way over the top. It will not be good for your son to miss that much school, even Kinder. Academically and socially it will be hard for him when he returns. I would be a very squeaky wheel towards the administration right now.
How is it that it wasn't clear to you originally that he had a 10 day suspension? Is that punishment mandatory and written out somewhere? A five year old biting is bad, a school with lack of common sense is much worse.

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Like I posted before, there was more to the story. That teacher should have been on top of this situation and made the child stop bothering your son. Kids need to be taught boundaries and the teacher could have used this instance to teach both boys a life lesson, sharing for one and respecting other people's space to the other boy. I would make sure to say that at any meetings I would have about this in the future.

I would complain to the person over the teacher and it that didn't work I would go over the principles head. Ten days is way too much for a kindergartner to miss. WAY TOO SEVERE.

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10 days for THAT for a 5 year old? Wow, ridiculous. Kids fighting and doing worse damage in high school don't even get suspensions that long.

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Ten days is quite a bit, but if he didn't get a 10 day suspension, I don't understand why the question. It very well might be that the policy is for any violent act, suspension can be from 1 - 10 days, depending on what the child did.

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I spoke with a friend that is a Kinder Teacher here in Austin. Here is what she said.

First of all they all would have gone to the office. The victim to be looked at by the nurse and then biter to the Principals office,. Both sets of parents called.

She said the Suspension Could be a long time. The "10 day." is something the district uses in case of big offenses. Like fighting in middle or high school.. , but for what happened with your son, she said he would have been sent to the Principals office for an in school suspension, IF the Principal was going to be on Campus all day and able to keep an eye on your child. Again, because he is so young, it is hard for them to make sure he is well cared for ad watched in the busy school office.

Most times the goal is to keep the child on campus with the in School Suspension doing school work. But since your son is so young, they probably do not have any extra staff to sit with him all day.

Since he is so young with no history of this, if it had happened in the morning, he would have spent the rest of the day there in the office and the parents called in for a meeting at the end of the day and this would include the classroom teacher.

She also said, she would not have been pleased with the "block kicker." She would have placed them in time out or had them talk it out between the two of them.

If the biting had not happened and your son had spoken with her. She said she teaches sharing or taking turns for a few minutes allowing the the other child to get a chance to play, or telling both of them neither one can play, if they cannot share or give each other turns.

She agreed it sounded like your son had been pushed to the end of his rope, may have been tired and just lost it. But of course both kicking and biting are never allowed in school, so this was a good lesson to learn and be reminded about how serious this is.

She said she was sure your son was going to be fine and i normally in control.

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I think you have a good handle on this scenario....but what ever happened to respecting your sons NO? Like, not now, play with those, not these? The other boy was the aggressor in this scenario, in an evil way...your son just overreacted because of being pushed. Both are not right, but your sons is more age appropriate. I hope your son will learn is still OK to say no, and also to stay away from future psycho kid.

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One day maybe. I still think that is crazy. But 10. No way. Just curious, did the other kid get in trouble too? If this had been a fight, both would have gotten in trouble. I'm just say!

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I agree that you are 100% on the right track. Yes, there should be some punishment/consequence for his bad choice, but 10 days is excessive.

Other thoughts....
- first time offense? And a normally well behaved kindergartner? I think the punishment is extreme.
- where was the teacher when the other little boy kicked down the tower? She should know that if someone, in this case, two people who are 5 are already upset, she has to watch them carefully for the rest of the day
- I don't know how our school would handle it, but I still feel that 1 biting instance in a normally well behaved child should maybe get a writing assignment, not suspension that will go on his school record!

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Where I am at, our school has a ZERO tolerance policy. I wouldn't be surprised if a child was expelled for something like that. E.g. In our school district there was an elementary kid in the lunch room who's mom had packed his lunch. Inside his lunch bag she'd left the butter knife that she'd used to make his P.B. & J. sandwich. He immediately reported the knife to the lunch aide, who sent him to the principal. The child was expelled from school. Talk about a little over the top, but they make no exception!

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WHAT!! I don't think that's even legal. I've worked in a middle school, and I've worked in a high school, and the longest suspension in high school in CA (or at least in my district) is 5 days, and that's for things like drugs. After that, they have to get an order for an extended suspension, and that's in cases where they plan to expel the kid.

But a 10 day suspension for a kindergartener? No way. It should be ONE day. If they tell you it's for longer than one day, talk to the principal. Please pm me if you have any questions.

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Well when my kids were in school in CA (just a couple years ago) the first offense for any kind of violent act was a 5 day suspension. My son got suspened the one and only time he got in a fight, for 5 days, and all he was doing was defending himself. The girl who pants my daughter got a 5 day suspension for her first offense. You put your hands on another student and it's an automatic suspension.

Now both the incidents with my kids were in middle school, but I know that was the policy in their elementary school too. Put your hands (mouth, feet, head(as in headbutting), etc) on another student and you're gone. If the other student pushes back they're gone too.

We haven't had any issues like that here in Maryland, but from reading the student/parent handbook they have a pretty similar policy. With a zero tolerance policy for stuff like that.

Did they ever say "he's suspended for 10 days"? Or did they just say he COULD have been suspended for up to 10 days? If all it was is "could have been" ... umm ... so?

And I'm sorry but that other little boy DID NOT deserve what he got. He tattled to a teacher (maybe unfairly so but still), got the blocks taken away from both of them (again maybe not fair but life isn't fair), and knocked over the tower. While not particularly nice doesn't mean he should have been BITTEN for it.

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