Having Two Children 21 Months Apart Advice Needed

My children are 21 months apart too--son first, then daughter (they're 6 and 8 now). When they got a little older it turned out great because they played with each other so well. But at first it was hard. It was so intense taking care of an infant and toddler, but the good news is that they keep growing and it does get better.

For me, a double stroller was essential. I picked a Maclaren side-by-side and loved it!
I often let my son sit beside me while I was nursing the baby, and we would read or look at a picture book together. The newborn needed nursing so often, and it helped him not feel neglected.
And when the baby slept, if my son was not also sleeping, it was good to give him some one-on-one time (rather than doing housework), because he really missed that.

My son came to see me and his new sister in the hospital on the first day, after I was in my own (shared) room and rested up a bit. He was so excited, and we took some special pictures and video. (Those are some of my favorite pictures.)

But I have to say, those first 2 years or so with two kids were the hardest for our marriage, and I didn't expect that. So don't forget to make a point of keeping your own relationship strong.

Congratulations on the coming baby!

double stroller is a great need. my daughters are 21 months apart. I did let her come see me in the hospital. I didn't want her to think that there was something wrong because she didn't see me for a few days. She did see the baby too. She actaully remembers coming to the hospital and bringing me some food. She was really good about having to leave with dad and dad was really good with her at home too. He didn't stay with me this time, and kept our daughter with him so that changes were not so big for her. When we got home, she got to carry the baby with my support and she enjoyed helping around like getting a diaper, or a blanket. and when the baby was sleeping we spent time together playing or reading or watching sesame street together. It will all work out not because you plan it, but because you learn how to make it work. Good luck, congrats and take care.

Congratulations! It will be challenging until you adjust, but just remember you will adjust! My children are 2 years apart. My daughter first and then I had a son, and wow talk about night and day. Nothing I did for her worked for him, but I will say the 2 items that saved me were: the Sleepy Wrap *www.sleepywrap.com - the best ever baby carrier/wrap (int the world!, as you can not run after a 2 year old with a newborn in a bjorn- no head support. The Sleepy Wrap keeps them firmly against your body, distributes the weight evenly and your hands are free to do what you need. I couldn't have gotten through the first 6-10 weeks w/o it. Next is Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, as you will have no time to read, if you haven't experienced this with your first child it will be a must as you try to make sure your new baby is as happy and content as possible to be able to function for the rest of the day with minimal issues (its amazing!). www.thehappiestbaby.com

For my daughter I got her a baby and stroller and she absolutely loved pushing her around next to me as I pushed our baby. Not sure if your son will be into this, but if he loves pushing/pulling things it will work great. If you are not ok with a stroller, then a little wagon may work too.

A double stroller will be great as they grow too, but they can be bulky and hard to manage, so that is another research project.

You'll do great. You'll find what works for you and go from there. We let Avery come visit in the hospital as she missed me and was really excited to meet her new baby brother. To this day she still loves him (she's 3 1/2 and he is now 1 1/2) and wants to involve him in everything. Thanks god!

Take care-
S.

congratulations! my kids are about 16 months apart, my daughter 2 now and son about 9 months. my daughter came and visited us in the hospital. she was excited and mostly she missed mom. double stroller, a must. like the previous response, i also did a lot of reading during nursing which helped. i won't lie, it is difficult. the first few months were hard, but it does get easier and you get into a routine. good luck!