Having Separation Anxiety!

Hi A.,

You just need to give him some time, he will eventually get over it and then your heart will really break when the day comes that he's like "mommy who?" when you drop him off! :-)

We started my 2 year old in daycare last month and the first three weeks were bad. She cried everyday that we dropped her off, she would grip so h*** o* to my shirts that I swear she was going to rip them off of me! A few times I hung around outside the classroom to watch after I left and within five minutes, she was over it. After her third week she was suddenly excited to be in school and she'd walk herself to class and not look back! She absolutely loves it and is doing so well.

So hang in there. It's very tough in the beginning and feels like they'll never stop crying when you drop them off. And for your son, it may be harder since he's only going to be going a couple days out of the week and it won't be an everyday routine for him. But I'm sure soon enough he'll make new friends and will love his teachers, and he'll adapt.

You can try leaving his favorite stuffed animal or something there for him, something he is familiar with. Drop by the school in the middle of the day and observe him. I'm sure you'll be surprised to see that he's being sociable and enjoying himself. A visit like this will make you feel much better!

Good luck!

-Char

I bet just about every mom here has been through this. My son did it, and it did break my heart. I did pull myself away though and I called them. They told me he stopped crying 30 seconds after I left. He did this for a few months - and EVERY time they told me that he stopped crying and started playing within a minute or two. Eventually he got to the point that he started to cry when I picked him up because he was so busy having a good time playing!

Is there a way you can drop him off then get out of sight but still in ear shot? That way you can listen for yourself and only leave the building when he stops crying. I do this at my church nursery, and sure enough, he always stops crying once I'm gone.

Hello A.,

It sounds like you are going to have to adopt the method of "drop and run"!! I know it is tough, but how are going to do when he goes to Kindergarten? Are you going to stay with him all day? I am not trying to be insensitive, but you gotta know that if you don't do it now, you will have to do it later. I started my 4 year old in MDO at 6 months old and it was hard at the beginning and it became easier. He still attends MDO and sometimes he reverts back to crying or screaming, but they do get over it within 2 to 5 minutes and are ok. Your child may have a harder time simply for the fact that he hasn't been going to any kind of organized "school-type" of setting, but it will get easier.

I am sure you have just forgotten since it has been 7 years since your last one was around that age and I am not sure if they had MDO's at that time, but it does get easier. I would also leave one of his favorite animals and blankets that he like with him. My son also had one of these and it did make him feel better. He doesn't do it anymore, but every once in a while he wants his elephant. I keep one in his backpack for those kinds of time!

Good Luck and hang in there, but you gotta let him go!!

G. B.

i worked in a daycare ... and all i can really say is you are NOT the only one! Kids will cry when their parents are there and they know it either gets them to go back home or the parents stay longer. its so much easier to tell them what is going on, that you will be back, and to drop them off and go. the longer you stay the more dragged out it is and the worse it is on the teacher to get them to calm down. he really will be ok once you are gone. kind of like 'out of sight, out of mind' thing. they easily get distracted. IF he really is having an issue with it... the teacher should tell you... but for the most part, it's an attention thing. :) sneak back in later on and take a peak to check on him and make yourself feel secure in leaving him there. that helps too.

Hi A.!! As someone who has gone through this several times with my children and also being on the other side...he will be okay. It is definitely harder on us moms than on the kids. As a Sunday School teacher I see this alot. Usually as soon as the parents are out of the room they are fine. I've seen it go on as long as 10 minutes, but that's very rare. Then they are fine and playing and most times cry because they have to go home! hee hee And like the others said, this will soon not happen any longer and that hurts too! You will have to be strong and leave him. If you want, you can also leave, but stay outside the door and listen for yourself. I've done that before and it makes me feel better.

Good luck whatever you decide!!!

My son was the same way and the funny thing is that they really do get over it quickly. The longer that you stay around after you drop him off - the harder it is for them. Give hugs and kisses and then make a run for it. It is gut wrenching, but you have to do it! Try leaving his lovie there with him to help him feel more secure those first couple of minutes. I would also try talking to him about where he is going and that he is going to play with his friends. You need to expect that he will probably be like this for several weeks, but don't get discouraged. It took my son a long time to adjust - about 6 weeks - but this summer (we don't have MDO in the summer) he has been asking to go to school! He loves it there! I know it is hard, but in the long run it really does help! Take care and keep us posted!

I'll tell you what I've told several of my friends.

First, you have to just drop him off, tell him goodbye and go!! If you bring him home, it will be harder the next time b/c he's learned that if he cries he gets his way.

Also, give it a month. If he's still having a hard time then consider keeping him home. I've given this advice to SEVERAL friends and NONE have ended up keeping their kids at home.

I'm sure your son will end up loving school, he just needs a little time to adjust.

Good luck!