Having Problems at 20 Weeks

My name is N. and I had the same thing happen with my first child. My water broke at 30 weeks and I was put in the hospital on complete bedrest. I took steroids and terbutaline to stop the contractions. I held off for four 1/2 weeks and delivered a healthy girl 5 weeks early. She was 5 pounds and 4 ounces and breathed on her own. Hang in there. Do you have someone to help you with your 4 year old. You really need to follow your bedrest orders. My amniotic fluid actually increased toward the end and the leak was slowed down considerably. I will pray for you. Please feel free to email me as I know how it feels to be in your shoes. I also have two other healthy children all born prematurely and all requiring bedrest. Keep your thoughts positive, take it easy, let people help you and PRAY.

N.

I'm so very sorry to hear this. I was in the hospital for 9 weeks and our daughter was born very healthy (C-section) at 36 weeks. At the time our son was 3 1/2 and I am very lucky that my parents (who live 4 hours away from us) came to stay and look after him so that my husband could continue to work. Our son was very happy to have his grandparents and it was nice that they were able to bring him to visit me each day. I know that we are incredibly blessed but I do pray that you have help with your 4 year old. As hard as it is, it is extremely important to stay in bed. The next four weeks will be very difficult. It would be wise to have your son stay with family or have someone stay with your family to take care of his every need.

Another thing that is hard is that having to lie down ALL THE TIME (when you get to the hospital you will have a catheter and it will be ALL THE TIME) is that it is impossible not to think. So many people trying to be 'helpful' told me how lucky I was to get some much needed 'rest' or how they wished they could have a few weeks to just 'lounge around'. It is very hard to think 'positive thoughts' and almost impossible not to cry. As you have so much time to think it is very hard to think about the "What IF'S?" Get things to occupy your mind. At home have someone hook up a TV in the bedroom and get them to borrow videos from the library. Take up a hobby that can be done lying down. While on bed rest I learned how to knit and made a baby blanket and tons of scarfs for my family in Canada. I wrote Xmas Cards to the troops. Anything that will get you to think of something other than your situation.

People don't tell you that lying down for a long time causes severe digestive problems. Be careful about what you eat. When you get to the hospital they may restrict your diet to fluids - it may be wise to do this at home. Especially if you can get someone to bring you and your family some yummy homemade soup.

Enlist people to help. You'd be suprised how many people love and care for you. It is not a bother. People WANT to help when it is sorely needed. Call your church. Tell your pastor your worries and also be specific about what needs to happen for you to make it into the hospital and also the help you will need once you get there. Even churches that do not have set programs will spring into action when they know that a member is in great need and wishes help. If you do not belong to a church it may be wise to call one anyways if you really need help. Churches has funds set aside and also have people willing to help those who are non-members. Visits from clergy also help to put things into perspective. If you know that your family is being taken care of then you can focus on what you have to do - which is to keep still for your little one.

My roommate at the hospital was very badly beaten by her boyfriend and her water broke at only 19 weeks. She made it to 27 weeks. Her daughter is now a very healthy 1-year-old. You really wouldn't know that she was born pre-mature. Her son who was 3 had to be put into foster care. Despite these circumstances they are all doing very well. The foster parents were WONDERFUL and came to visit at the hospital every day. Her children seem very well adjusted. She is doing so well.

Have hope! Much love and blessings to you and your family.

L..

the reason was different, but i was on strict (laying down all the time, only getting up to use the rest room or to shower a few times a week) bed rest for both of my pregnancies. i was on bed rest for 11 weeks (3 at home and 8 in the hospital) for my first pregnancy. i received steroid shots and other medications to stop contractions along the way. my daughter was born at 33 weeks. the second time, i was on bed rest for 4 months at home. i totally know the fears and worries that can come along with bed rest and a high risk pregnancy. i will be praying for your situation. just know that the best thing you can do now is lay down and stay off your feet. lots of good books, crossword puzzles, sudoku, movies, and a phone close by are a big help to pass the time.

B.,

I was on bedrest for 13 weeks with my fifth child (now 10 months old). I was in and out of the hospital (6 admissions in all). I did not have my water break like you did, but I had an irritable uterus. I couldn't even sit up without starting contractions. My dad is a neonatologist, so you can imagine I got a lot of medical advice from him as well as from my OBs. The most important thing you can do is to take bedrest and everything the doctors tell you seriously. Don't try to sneak out of bed. It's not worth it.
I started bedrest at 27 weeks. I had already been considered high risk because my previous children had been born with immature lungs (even without being premature) and had each spent about 2 weeks in the hospital. They weren't even sure my baby would survive if he went full term. Needless to say, there was good reason to worry. I wouldn't let anyone throw me a baby shower until I was almost 40 weeks, and I didn't do baby decorating and such. I know what it's like to be scared and just want your baby to be here and healthy. Women today (including me) take a lot for granted when it comes to childbirth. My husband's grandmother lost four of her eleven children within a day of birth. That's unfathomable to us now. It is scary, but you are also in very good hands.
On the happy side, all five of my children are healthy and well with not a single lingering problem. We are very blessed to live in a place and time in which we have access to such wonderful health care. I know our health care system isn't perfect, but I also know that four of my five children probably wouldn't have lived if they'd been born 100 years ago or even today in a different country. I know the doctors will do the very best they can for you.
You've already been at this for 2 weeks, so I imagine you have all your helpers and systems in place. Having help and support is so important. I had a four year old during my bed rest (and a 10 year old, a 9 year old, and a 7 year old). Needless to say, I had help.
Which hospital are they going to put you in? I went to Northside Hospital in Atlanta. They have beautiful rooms (the best in the hospital) for the High Risk Perinatal women (because of the long stays involved) and excellent care. They are very flexible about visitors, have their own video and book library, have a service where women will come play board games and other things with you (teach you to knit, etc.), and they will even let you bring rugs, lamps, wall pictures, etc. from home. They even have a music lady that comes around to do relaxation help. They also have great food.
If you are going to a different hospital, be sure to find out what they have available and what they'll let you do. You'll get to know the doctors and nurses, and they will want to do everything they can to help you (including emotionally) and your baby.
I will be happy to talk to you on the phone or email or send personal MamaSource messages back and forth with you if that will help. There are also support networks of women who have gone through this and then volunteer to help those who are now going through it. It's like a big sisterhood.
I'm glad you can get on the computer/Internet. That was one of the biggest helps in keeping my sanity. I do bookkeeping for my husband's business from home, and I was able to lie on my side and work on the computer and still feel useful for at least a little while each day. I got really good at typing one handed and using the mouse while lying down. I also enjoyed emailing. What kind of arrangements do you have for bedrest? Who is helping you? How do you spend your time?
I know this is long, but I forgot to mention that I was on a progesterone shot study. A nurse came out every week to give me a shot. I also received two rounds of steroids to help lung development. They had to stop my labor so much, I started to feel like a human pincushion. It's all so much easier to think about now in hindsight. This will pass, but in the meantime, please let me know what I can do to help.
May God bless you and your family.
L.

B. first of all relax.. My stepdaughter was pregnant with twins.. she had twin to twin transfusion.. when she delivered they were 16 weeks early .. Joseph weighed in at 1 pound 11 ounces & Kirklin came in at a whopper of only one pound.. we lost Kirklin 2 days later.. oh my this is hard to type.. anyway Joseph hung in there.. when he left the hospital he weighed almost 6 pounds.. and now at 4 years old he is striving like no tomorrow.. I am a paramedic & the things I say them do in the ICU for him was totally beyond anything I have ever seen.. this is the best advice I can give you relax.. do not stress that will make matters worse.. i know easier said than done.. do everything the doctors tell.. if they say not lifting.. that means absolutely no lifting.. ask them for a support group someone you can talk with for things you don't understand.. for you & your spouse.. i know these are very hard & trying times but they can do so much with neonates I just can't say enough.. if you need any other help or questions answered please let me know and i will answer to the best of my ability.. it is okay to be scared.. we all were.. but you really have to relax & rest the best you can.. I will keep you in my prayers.. best of luck

Hi B.

I am not sure if I can help but here is my story. I was sent to the hospital for bed rest when I was at 32 weeks. My water sprung a leak at 33 weeks. I was having twins and was really worried about how much fluid I was losing. My doctor said that you will never "run out." It is a process that your body always produces as long as the baby is still inside. So..you should not run out of fluid. While in the hospital I got shots every 4hrs!!! They were steriods to help the lungs develop quicker and tons of antibacterial because my water was leaking. And the third bit of info I have to share is the lenght of time for a "safe" delivery. My doctor forced me to hang on until the 34th week. She said at that point, the chances of a 100% healthy baby are much higher and more likely. Not that delivering prior to that date produces problems, but the chances are greater. SO...my advice is to keep close contact with your doctor. Express your concerns and see what the thought process is behind their suggestions. My girls were in the NICU for 3 weeks-they were 3 & 4lbs when they were born and now you would never know. They are soooo healthy!!! But there were plenty of babies who were born way too early and they all did so well after a bit of time in there. It is amazing how successful that unit is! If you need any help...give me a call at ###-###-####. I know how scared you must be. Just stay calm and like I said, talk to your doctor constantly!! Good luck!!!

M.

My heart goes out to you Brittany. I had complications with my pregnancy, but I was at 30 weeks when they started. I can't imagine how worried you must be. After reading the other responses here, I hope you know you're not alone. You and you're family are in my prayers.

I have a friend who has a similar situation, and her baby is here and fine now. Sorry I have almost no details, we moved before she even got pregnant, and we do not talk as much now. Just pray and have faith and take it one day at a time, or even hour by hour if need be. Good luck!

P.S. I also have a friend who delivered a baby at 20 weeks, and he survived miraculously, and is about 5 now and doing very well!

Our aunt had a similar problem. Her "water" broke around 20 weeks, she spent the rest of her pregnancy on bedrest and steroids. She delivered at 30 weeks. Her son had the typical preemie issues, but now he is a very normal and healthy 9 year old.

I'll pray for you!

That hasn't happened to me but I do know someone that happened to at 21 weeks and she delivered at 27 weeks. Her little girl has had to have several surgeries but doing very well. She is a thriving precious 3 year old now. I will keep you in my prayers. I can't imagine what that must be like. Stay strong and keep your head up. Hopefully everything will be okay.

Just pray and know that God preforms miracles. Believe with all your heart. I have not been through this, but you sounded so scared that I had to respond. I had my little girl when she was 25 weeks. I was petrified. But, my daughter is 10 now and is perfect in every way. So, God still pulls those miracles for us here on Earth! I have heard that when children are born it is better that they are either born early, like at 6 months and their lungs develop completely outside the womb, or making it all the way to 9 months. The trouble really happens when they start developing and then ar born at 7-8 months and have to finish outside the womb. Having a premature baby is very very scary. But again, lots of pray gets you through. Wherever you are, find the best hospital for premature babies. Medical University of South Carolina is know for its neo-natal care! We are products of that hospital and believe it with all of our hearts. We love them for saving our child. Lots of love to you and your family. And know that all the moms out there who are reading your request really feel scared with you and are sending courage your way.

B.,
We have had this happen 2x in our family to the same mom. She was 27weeks with her first delivery and 28weeks with her second delivery. the 27week baby, was 4lbs. He was in the NICU for 2mo. He started out needing help to breath using the nasal tube, (one that sits at your nose). He never needed surgery. The 28week was 5lbs and she was breathing on her own from the get go. She was in the hospital about month and a half. If you do go early, know that you are in good hands. With todays technology and medicians to help are little ones along in the early stages. Good luck to you and your family.

Hello B.,

Glad I can help someone in this situation, I understand what you are going through all too well. I was at 24 weeks when the same thing happened to me. The good part about it is the fluid does replenish itself. Keep filled with water, although I know it is hard trying to use the restroom. I was in the hospital on bed rest for 3 weeks after my water broke, I could not move to even get up and brush my teeth. It was so aggravating, but you have to stay still. I too had a toddler in the house when this occured, so my hospital stay was more than welcome in trying to recover. My son was born 3pds 4 oz, and you could never tell looking at him now. Please dont worry that only stresses the baby more. Pray and have faith your baby will be okay, because it will. Technology is amazing and babies are strong. A friend of mines had a son born at 1 pound and he is alive and very healthy today. Its heart wrenching but it passes. DONT CRY. Thats the worst thing please. Its amazing because I am on-line organizing my March of Dimes walk right now, I am sure you will become familiar with their organization during your hospital stay. Take care of yourself, continue eating healthy, drinking water, and stay off of your feet anytime you can help it. This seriously makes a difference.