Haven't Slept in 20Mns, Need Sleep

I highly recommend the "no cry sleep solution" for lots of good tips and proven scientific evidence of how babies/children sleep and how much they need. There's one for infants and another one for toddlers.

Hi M. -
Here's something I've tried when my son won't sleep...I buy melatonin (natural and over-the-counter) and crush one tablet into powder (1 mg) and take half of that and add it to a bottle (8 oz.). We all have melatonin naturally in our system and babies have a higher amount...that is why they sleep longer. I don't recommend it every night, but it is useful when you REALLY need sleep and he just won't cooperate. Hope that helps. Good luck to you! - L.

Thankfully I've never had problems with my daughter sleeping through the nite, she was sleeping thru since she was almost 3 weeks old (Thank GOD) Shes very much like your son though, when she knows what she wants she wont stop til it happens. All I can really say is cut back on his nap time again, My daughter was throwing really big fits when it came to going to sleep at nite, I cut her nap time from 1 1/2 to 2 hours to about 1 hour maybe a LITTLE bit more, She hasnt thown any fits when it comes to sleeping any more, its really made a big differance. I do rock my daughter to sleep and hold her for about 20 minutes after shes asleep, I put her in her crib and shes out for the nite. I cant really help with the bottle though, shes been off of it for 2 months now and without any fuss what so ever and is weaning herself off the binky (which is only a nite time only thing) Good luck!

Hate to tell you this but my 5 year old is still waking up most nights to come into bed with us. She doesn't nurse any more, but it does interrupt my sleep. You have 2 issues going on - 1) naps and 2) not sleeping through the night. I'd tackle one at a time rather than together. I'd work on the naps - try hard to avoid the car - and see if you can get a routine going. For the sleeping through the night you might consult a book on that topic. There are a lot of them, though I can't remember any specific titles right now. This is a problem for many if not most parents. Good-luck!

M.,

As a parent of a now 3.5 year old who slept through the night for the first time about a month before his second birthday, I feel your pain. I was in a bit of a different situation because I was breastfeeding and what improved our situation was weaning him. I got tired (literally and figuratively) of being the all night snack bar. I am not a fan of cry it out for the same reason it didn't work for you. My son would just get more and more hysterical, then he'd vomit and then he'd be really clingy for days afterwards (I work full time so I was exhausted too!). So when I weaned him, I would still hold him and rock him and do whatever I could do to comfort him but I just didn't nurse him. The first night was awful - he was up probably every hour all night long. The second night was bad - he was up probably 3-4 times. The third night he was up once and the fourth night he was up once. So I would not recommend starting this on a Tuesday night (by Friday I felt like death warmed over). So from my experience, I'd say step 1 is going to be eliminating that middle of the night bottle. And it will be painful at least for a few days but if you are serious about it, you are just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

I coslept with my son too. And I loved it. But that became a real problem when my younger son was born. While I was pregnant, I moved him into his own room and slept with him in there to get him used to it. Then I basically just quit sleeping with him. It was painful too. It probably took a full month or more before he quit waking up crying several times a night. And each time he woke up either my husband or I would get up and comfort him. It was painful for all of us but he did adjust and now he sleeps in his own room by himself. It can be really hard and a lot of work to make change in a kid's sleep habits. But you just have to decide if the long term goal is worth the short term pain. And realize too that it is just as h*** o* your son as it is on you so I think it is really unfair to make him deal with it on his own and scream by himself. You (like me) created the "problem" and it is up to you to solve it with as little trauma to your son as possible.

So good luck to you. I'm sure you will find something that works for you. Just don't plan on it being painless. LOL I tried a lot of different things but the only thing that really worked with my son was being firm, kind and consistent.

T.

At 19 months my daughter completely stopped taking naps, unless we were in the car. If she did get a nap she would wake up in the middle of the night.
I have a chronic pain disorder so unless I get a good nights rest I am good for nothing.
So when she was waking up in the middle of the night I just didn't have the patience to deal with trying to get her back to sleep. She then reached a point where she only wanted to sleep in my room. I knew at this point I needed to get rid of this problem. I wasn't getting a good nights rest with her in the bed taking up my entire side.
I cut out the naps or make sure if she does have a nap it is very early in the day.
Then to get her to stay in bed I stayed in her room until she fell asleep. The first night even though I was sitting at her bedside she was standing at her bedroom door banging on it....screaming "Mommy's Room" I said NO, this is your room and your bed you are sleeping her. After she screamed for a while, she came to me and said she was sick. I think her throat her from screaming. I then told her to get in bed which she did. I sat with her until she fell asleep. Same deal if she wakes up at night. I tell her she has to stay in her room and I sit there until she falls back to sleep.
It is a pain having to stay there until she's asleep, but if I don't she immediately gets up and out of bed.
Good Luck! I am happy to report she is back to sleeping through the night. But I still need to stay with her until she's asleep.

You have two choices really - - - let him outgrown it - - - around age 5 or so - - - or nip it in the butt... I have 4 kids I have done it both ways - - - the crying it out thing doesn't always work for us parents very well....

Cut the bottle in the night now - he's too old and it's going to hurt you potty training him - - - just soothe him - don't turn on any lights even a night light.... the cry it out thing doesn't mean to leave him for two hours screaming - in my book that's not okay - - - you have to go into him and rub his back - yes, he will try and clamer up your arm - but that will cease with time... First time go in after 5 minutes - then 7 - then 10 - then 15 - then 20 - - - keep in mind you should do this while your husband is on vacation because you wont get to sleep for a few days - - - but this will work - it just takes several days...

If you cannot handle it - - - you will simply be letting him in your bed every morning at 1am so you can sleep for a few more years - - - they grow quickly - I look at my now 16 and 12yo who sleep alone and I think of how silly I was about that lack of sleep - - - it wasn't so bad to cuddle them for such a short period of their life - I don't remember the sleep deprivation -

My son is 3 1/2 and still wakes up at around 2am. It seems like he's peeing and waking himself up or it's just the sleep cycle. Now he's learned to go back to sleep on his own, but only after he turned 3. The only thing that seemed to help was that someone was next to him, sleeping next to him, when he would wake at this hour. I know, it's crazy, and it's a big no no, but that's what we do. So we have my son sleeping in our bedroom and one of us sleeps with him on his futon on the floor. I figure it's temporary and he won't be like this when he's 18 ( I hope!) I also drive my son everyday for 1/2 an hour to get him to nap.

He can't seem to get his mind to calm down. He just wants to keep on going. So the only way he'll stay still and get calm is during a car ride. Again, temporary. I figure he's going to drop his nap altogether in a year, maybe sooner, so we gotta do what we gotta do. Stroller walks work too, on nice days. But summer is coming and it's too hot. I read in another parent's forum of lots of parents who drive to get their kids to sleep. They all do it. And laugh about it at the end when naps are done with.

Try reading "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. The myths on cutting down on naps is not very healthy for the child and he explains it in his book. HE also talks alot about sleep cycles so you may understand more of what's going on during his sleep pattern.

I think we just took a weekend and bit the bullet and made him stay in his bed.. get him a toddler bed or big boy bed.

Hey M., I have a 22 month old that has NEVER slept through the night. He too is a vomiter. If I let him cry longer than 10 minutes he projectiles everything. AND YUCK kerded milk is nasty! Anyways, we too put him in our bed just to get more sleep. Even in our bed our son wakes up a couple more times. He goes back to sleep as soon as he realizes where he is, but it's getting really hard. He's also having night terrors I think too. Plus teeth. AUUGGHHHH! It's hard. My husband gets so annoyed that he's sleeping in our bed, but I can't deal with the back and forth from our bedroom to his, so sleeping with us once he wakes up is just the best thing for now. I wish I had some good advice, but nope! Don't have any. Good luck to you. Hope you get some sleep!
K.

He's old enough to understand this...put a pillow & blanket on the floor in your room (make sure it's comfortable - but not too comfortable). Tell him that if he needs to sleep in your room, the pillow & blanket are there for him (maybe had a dim night light near by), explain that he is welcome to join you in your room, but not in your bed. Walk him to this spot at first, perhaps lay down next to him. Put a sippy cup near his "spot" (sippy cups - because they are less convient than a bottle, and may annoy him enough to not want to bother with the drink in the middle of the night - you don't think he needs it anyway...). With any luck - he'll get bored of sleeping on the floor and start to remain in his own bed, 'cuz it's just not the same as cuddling with mom! But if he knows that he can at least be in your room, he may find comfort in that before he realises his bed is more comfy

OK, I went through this very thing. SO, I know what your going through. I was so tired that I got depressed and started seeing a therapist. She happened to be a mother of two and the first thing she said is, "WHY are you still feeding your daughter at night?" My only answer was that it was convienient and was the only way I could get her to go back down right away. SO, she ran me through the whole, "The child does not need night nourishment at this age, the bottle is bad in the bed...blah, blah, blah." BUT... she was right. So, it was up to me to pull the plug. What it took was listening to my daughter cry for less then 20 minutes for four nights, and then she slept through the night. I would tell her before she went to bed, this is Gracey's last baba. Gracey tummy is full and Gracey will eat breakfast with mommy in the morning. Then when she'd wake up in the night, I would go in her room, pat her head, tell her I loved her but that she needed to go to sleep becuase it was night time. Then I would leave. I just let her cry unitl she went back to sleep. I know 20 minutes feels like an eternity when the baby is crying, but at 20 months you know they are OK. So, I did that routine for 2 nights, the third night she cried a little, I walked in and patted her headed with out saying a word and left. The fourth night was a slight cry that lasted less then two minutes and from that day on she slept through. SO, it can be done, you just have to mentally prepare for the drama of it all. By feedin him in the middle of the night you are setting an internal clock for him. It's now habit for him. Especially if he's waking up within a fifteen minute time frame every night. He doesn't know it's wrong, because that just what he knows. I know you can break this habbit, and I know it is hard, but you will be so much happier and well rested when you do. SO, just do it girl. I know you can.

Good thoughts to you.

Hey M.,

I read all of the previous responses and I have to add some comments. First, children sleep when they are tired and are awake when they are not. Even though children of your son's age are starting to learn to pull their parents strings, usually when it comes to the simple things we need like food or sleep our basic instincts take over. So, it seems to me that if you are driving around just to get him to take his nap, he no longer needs the nap. If you stay home with him all day and he doesn't go to sleep on his own, he may be ready to lose the nap all together. Which is annoying because you will lose your break, but that usually makes it easier on you at night because he will sleep through the night. Next time do not try to give him a nap and see what time he falls asleep at night. If he still takes his naps on his own, then try wearing him out like taking him to a play-ground in the afternoon, or even one of those indoor play areas in the McDonalds or Burger King etc. That will help him fall asleep at night and if was tired enough he may sleep through the entire night. That was what worked for my daughter. I had it worse than you. My daughter, who is 2.5, stopped taking naps when she was about your son's age. She did it all on her own, to my chagrin. She just stopped, AND she didn't go to sleep until 1am, yes I said 1am but she would sleep 12 hours. We were in a really bad habit. She always had that time schedule because we are late night people. We took her everywhere with us and when we would go to a friend's house she would stay up as late as we did. When she turned 2 we said "no more" but also realized that since she wasn't in daycare and we weren't apart of any play groups, she just wasn't getting tired enough during the day. So we started to tire her out and two hours at the park did it. We do the routine thing too, she uses the potty one more time, she washes her hands and face then brushes her teeth, gets a story read to her then she gets tucked in at night and we wait a few minuets with her until she falls asleep. My husband and I live in a one bedroom apartment, so our daughter has always slept in the same room with us. Whether that was recommended or not, we had no other choice. We put her in a big girl bed when she started climbing out of her crib at 14 months, and very often we would wake up and she would be in-between us. Who knows why she woke up and crawled into bed, she could have been cold, or had a nightmare. But that has severely lessened to maybe once every other month or so now. Maybe your son just wants to hear your husband snore and wants your warmth. If he still wakes up in the middle of the night after you try tiring him out. Go to him, let him know you are there and try to get him fall back asleep in his own bed. Maybe laying down with him in his room, on the floor if need be with blankets or such. Try not giving him a bottle to see if he falls asleep without it. I guess it is all just baby steps even for us adults!

good luck

HI M.,

I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter is 25 months old and still gets up at least once in the night for a bottle. She is otherwise healthy and happy so I try not to think of it as a problem. She does only take one nap a day, usually between 1.5 hours and 3 hours and it doesn't effect the night sleep at all. She goes to bed very easily and often times (latey) tells us when she's ready for bed. We to have a routing we stick to and it doesn't seem to make a difference either. I have had to learn to accept the fact she's just going to get up. I'm greatful she at least goes right back to sleep (in our bed). When I asked my Pediatrition about it, he said to try making sure her tummy was full before bed. Made sense to me, but it didn't help either!
Sorry I don't have any advice for you. Hope it helps a little knowing you are not alone.

Dear M.,

I will tell you for sure that the light of your life is a little baby, and you had better let him cry longer, until he quiets down and either lays there resting or goes to sleep. The light of my life cried 5 hours the first day (this is naptime), 4 hours the second day, 3 hours the 3rd day, 4 hours the 4th day, and 15 minutes the 5th day. So get on with it, and put the pillow over your head so something. Yes, no wonder he vomited, but he didn't die, did he? He probably will do that again too. Clean him up without talking, coo a little give him a sip of water, wipe his face with a damp cloth, and put him back to his own bed. No more bed with Mom and Dad. O.K.? You and Dad need to cuddle in private. Be sure you listen to hear him crying just in case he really needs you. But don't give up, or you will regret it, my, my, will you ever. Great Grandmother talking here. I have listened to hours and hours of many babies crying in my life time, and they are all still alive and love me to pieces. Tell your husband that I said so. He can be brave too. I told my kids to put "I Told You So..." on my grave stone and they say that they will. I've got the whole family promising. Sometimes people just have to listen to older people's advice. Keep a watchful eye and ear open and let the darling cry. Good Luck, C. Neuman P.S. you are doing a good job on the nap thing. But don't let him get by without resting until he is 5 - that's what it says in the Child Development books. You, know, they are little children and they get tired.

My daughter was similar when she was that age. She is finally sleeping through the night at 6. However she wakes up at the butt crack of dawn. :P

I would recommend trying to not give him naps during the day. We stopped naps with my daughter at 1 1/2 years, becuase it was impossible, and then she did nap, she'd nap too long, and wouldn't go to sleep until midnight. After a couple weeks of transition she started sleeping throughout the night.

Later once we got nighttime worked out, she started going to pre-school/daycare and they would have them nap for an hour (after sleeping through the night her nap times were only an 30 min- 1hour instead of 2 or 3), and they would get her to nap by playing soft music, having her lay on her tummy and just gently rub her back, until she was out. She still likes that to this day. (She's 6).