Giving up of Parental Rights

You need to get in touch with the clerk of county of Palm beach, Family department. I will get the phone # for you. They have a self service department, that you can do everything without the need of a lawyer. This afternoon, I will have that info for you.

I don't mean to get too personal with you, but are you getting child support from the father? By you allowing him to give up his parental rights will also erase any chance of you getting the support that you may need. If I were you, I would not allow him to give up his rights! If he's not going to be there for his children emotionally, that's his own problem, but he has no choice but to be there financially. It took both of you to make those babies. That's so sad, why wouldn't he want to be a part of their lives?

I've been thinking about the same thing for some time now...good luck and thanks to all of those with such great advice!

S.,

I also think this is an issue of not wanting to be responsible for child support. Another thing to think about that few people think about is what if something were to happen to their father. I had a client that while she was pregnant with her third child her 23 year of boyfriend and father of the childen was in an accident at work. He died while in surgery. All three children received social security benefits and will until they turn 18 years old. You may be giving up these benefits as well. If your ex wants to terminate his parental rights, let him take care of it and see how far he gets. How very sad for your children. He is not doing anything that is in their best interest/ Even a dad that is never around is better than one that wants to make it quite clear legally that he wants nothing to do with his children. It would benefit your children not to discuss this around them or talk bad about him in front of them as hard as that may be. As they grow older they will come to their own decision about their dad and it will only strengthen your relationship with them if you do not influence their thoughts about him with your own. I hope that you do indeed find someone special that will love them like his own but until then your ex is responsible for them. I wish you much luck with school.
C.

Dear S.,

I have been to law school, but have not yet passed the Bar, so this info is coming from a non-lawyer in FL, who is also a single mom who was not married to my baby's dad. My gut feeling is that he is not trying to do the kind/altruistic thing that is best for the children by giving up his parental rights; he is hoping to save money on child support. If his motives and intent were pure, that would be another story, but here is my understanding of FL law.

When a child is born out of wedlock in FL several things are true -- to have the father's name on the birth certificate, he has to be present and sign off on the birth certificate. Once that is done, he is presumed to be the legal parent of that child. Under FL law, the state has found it to be in the manifest best interest of the children to have a birth right to financial support from two parents. It is completely unfair for a child to suffer in any way because one parent decides that he/she does not want to provide financial support for that child. To this end, once established (by birth certificate or paternity order) parental rights cannot be terminated unless/until there is another adult (husband/wife) to step in and legally adopt that child. So, I do not believe it will be possible for him to just sign his rights away.

Furthermore, if this is so important to him, he should be the one to pursue the proper paperwork through the state. You already have enough on your plate supporting the three of you on your own without the added responsibility of pursuing his termination. My advice to you would be to do what's best for you and your children now which is to get as much financial support from him as you can so that you can go back to school and make a better life for you and your kids. If/when there is another responsible, loving, caring man who wants to adopt your entire family in the future, at that point you can Motion the court to terminate his rights and submit as evidence in support of your plea the fact that he has expressed a desire to terminate his rights, that he has been physically absent from their lives over an extended period of time, that they have no consistent and ongoing relationship with him and that there is a more appropriate father figure who has expressed an interest and intent to provide the loving support that your children deserve from a dad.

Best of luck to you S.. Look out for your babies -- it's not about what your ex wants -- it'a about what your kids' needs and best interests.

HI,FIRST OFF I THINK IF HE WANTS THIS DONE HE SHOULD BE THE ONE TO FIND OUT WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO ABOUT GETTING THE NECESSARY PAPERS NOT YOU.IF HE WANTS TO BE OUT OF YOUR KIDS LIFE SO BAD LET HIM DO THE WORK OF FINDING OUT EVERYTHING NOT YOU.IT MAKES ME SO UPSET WHEN I HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE NOT BEING THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN.IM A SINGLE MOM AND HAVE A 5 YEAR OLD SON AND HIS FATHER IS NOT IN HIS LIFE BY CHOICE I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN HAVE A CHILD AND NOT WANT TO BE IN THAT CHILDS LIFE THAT JUST REALLY GETS TO ME BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS SO YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS HOPE EVERY THING WORKS FOR YOU

Call Anne Desormiter-Cartwright at ###-###-####. She is an excellent lawyer and her initial consultation is free. Please let her know I gave you her name.

Best Wishes!

K. F.
All Computer Works

I know for a fact that this is not something that you can just do. I wanted to erase my daughters father from her life (paperwork wise since he had never met her). I called the friend of the court and they told me that you could not take a name off a birth certificate unless there is a man to replace it. They refuse to take a perfectly capable of paying person off of a birth certificate. They feel this is so because if you ever get ill the state should not have to pick up the bill.

Please, please, please listen to these women! It is not by "chance" that you asked this question, or that there are so many educated women who have been in this situation who have responded. I read your story and saw right through him as well. He is not looking out for the kids, he is looking out for HIMSELF. Don't let him get away with it! Try to leave your personal feelings out of it (whether you feel sorry for him or think he is being kind)and hold him to his paternity. THere have been some excellent responses, and I am sure there will be more. Please take their advice and think carefully about your next steps. Don't let him off the hook!

Are you sure you want to do that, if he gives up parental rights then he also doesn't have to pay child support. Even if he's not a part of their life he still has a responsibility to them and you. If your ok with it then I think you just go to the court house and inquire there, you may have to go to court, or it could be simple since it's agreed upon, think about it carefully though, it took two to tango!

S.,

My first thought also is that he doesn't want to ever pay support.

I do see one good point in doing it. If he ever decides to kidnap the kids, for whatever reason, it will be easier to get the kids back (the out of state part is scary). My ex kidnapped our son and fled to another state and started civil proceedings, without serving me. He had no rights, not even visitation. I am now 8 months and $100,000.00 into trying to get him back. And the sad part is chances are very slim of me getting him back.

Talk to someone who would definitely know the laws about if it is possible, and the pros and cons. Make sure you are informed before you do anything!

M.

Hi S.
I really don't know much about how to go to give up parental rights, but let me tell u when I read ur request my stomach just turned. How can a human being (if u can call him that) give up his parental rights. Excuse my words but probably the bastard doesn't want to pay child support. That is sad because you are not the only one who made those twins.. You know, there is a god & he will get his one day. I wish u the best of luck & don't worry, there is someone out there for you that will take care of you and your children. You might want to consult with an attorney to find out about getting his parental rights taken away. I know it really won't affect the kids right know cause they are young but they will be questioning why he did that & maybe one day they will want to find him to have those questions answered for them. Don't talk bad about their "father" to them cause when they grow up they will realize that you are their mother and father. There is no way someone can erase that from their life. May god have mercy on him. Be strong, your kids will be grateful & look up to you for being there for them. Try to do as many activities with them cause they will always remember that. I know its hard cause we have to work & do chores, homework, etc. but do give them as much time as possible.
Good Luck & god bless u & ur children

Hi there and sorry to hear about your situation. It could be the best thing for you and the kids within time. Only he's retarded if he actually thinks he can do it at this point in time. ( well at least from what I know back in TX laws)... I am sure in any state would probably be the same. The court system won't grant it or won't let any parent give up their rights unless the custodial parent (you) has someone that is willing to adopt the children right away, and that you are married to do so. That's solely because if God forbid something happens to you-- they have still have a biological parent responsible for them, and to care for them. So truely he can try, but he isn't going to get very far, unless things are covered on your end. Oh and if your looking in hopes to support this, contact a lawyer that deals with child support, they'll know how to answer your questions and lead you in the right direction.--Hope I helped and I wish you the best of luck with all of this.

I'd actually like to know also. I want to have the rights of my oldest son's biofather terminated. He has never even seen my son (4 years old) and I would like my hubby (the only dad my son's ever known) to be able to become his legal father.

The only advice I can offer is contact a lawyer and see what your options are for having the rights terminated, I know there are a few options (abandonment, adoption, and so forth).

S. there is truly something to the reason why he don't wont any more rights to them this man sounds desperate, so... the first thing I'd do is make no more personal contact with him. He sounds like he want out to bad. when I read your information immediately a red flag went up. something is not right about this whole picture, if I remember well these are the babies that one of them was having bad dreans about daddy. First of all don't force contact. Secondly make him think your going along with what he says until you get some serious legal advice. It sounds like more a finance situation than anything. Before you change their last name give it a lot of thought. This is something that needs really to be thought through without ill rash decisions. also without just the opinion of a bunsh of woman that respond to each other on just day to ady matters. Because this not a day to day matter, it is a life time matter. It really need to be thought through and only you know the whole matter. We just know the part you tell us. We sit in judement seats based on knowledge along, very limited if I might add.

Hey there-
I wish my kids dad would do that. You can go to the Palm Beach County courthouse in WPB and they have a self help center-you may have to pay a small fee to see someone on staff. But they can help you with all the paperwork.. And check and see if they still have the paperwork so that you can file at INDIGENT status that way you won't have to pay any filing fees. Good luck to you-if you need someone to talk to give me a call. I'm a single mom of 3. A. at ###-###-####.

I don't feel like most of the above posts....I don't have a clue who you should contact, I'd start surfing the county website for info, but here are my thoughts on this, for what it's worth.

My guess is he's never given you a penny for your kids anyway, so you'd have to fight way too much to even get a penny from him. And he will ALWAYS have visitation rights if he went to get them someday, even out of spite just b/c he wanted to mess w/you or whatever reason, and then you'd have to let your kids go w/someone they don't even know! I am NOT for that at all.

My oldest daughter is from my ex, we were never married, it's a different situation b/c he wanted and got visitation and has always been there for her, BUT if he wasn't and wanted to give up his rights, I would have let him. I don't want my daughter to be forced into his life, it has to come from him. I got remarried when she was 3-1/2, and if her father hadn't have been there, my husband would have LOVED to adopt her and give her his last name. He still would even though her father is an active part of her life! Of course, he wouldn't allow it. But I'd figure out how and get him legally out of the picture asap if that's what he wants. You don't need his support anyway obviously and it's not worth getting in my opinion if it means that someday he can just waltz in and demand to see them and you'd have to let them go.

Good luck in making the right decision, this is an awful situation for them and you, but they will know when they are older that it was him that didn't want to have anything to do w/them, not you. It also may be difficult b/c I don't know if the court will just let him give them up just like that w/o making him be responsible for them but good luck. How old are they?

1. Get a Lawyer.
2. Make sure you get support for the kids!!!!!

He is doing a very selfish thing, you and the kids deserve better, but they will want to know abot him later and why he did not want them. How sad. Protect yourself and your kids first worry about his feelings later!!!!

Good Luck!!!

What I have found out is that you call the court house in your area and ask them about what you need to do and who you need to talk to. I am kinda in the same boat right now with my 2 boys, one has my last name and the other has his dad's. So I called the court house and talked to someone there and they helped me determine what paper work I needed. Good luck and I hope all goes well.

From a legal point of view, I don't think it's a good idea for you to allow him to give up his parental rights. That means that you can never go to him for child support!

If you are well off, and SURE that you will ALWAYS BE well off, and sure that you will NEVER need his financial help, then I would say "go ahead", but not many people in this world have that kind of security.

If you do, that's great. If you don't, then you have to think about what you need to support your children. If something happens to your ability to support your kids, you need to be able to go to him. If you allow him to give up his rights, you won't be able to do that.

A.

I have worked for attorneys for about 20 years and I would make sure that you are not giving up child support and life insurance by doing this. I have a child that his father terminated his parental rights and pays no child support. Is not about being erased, its about not paying child support most of the time. At least mine didn't. Speak with a family law attorney and get advise becuase this might not be in the children's best interest. They have a right to support and he has an obligation to support them. I would get an advise as soon as possible and if you can afford to take care of them on your own, I would do it, but you have to make sure that this is something you want to do and that later on when you are not able to support them on your own, you can't go back to him for child support. Good luck and let me know what an attorney tells you.

You might want to talk to a lawyer about the legalities of removing his name and rights from the kids. Is he responisble for child support? I'm not sure what is involved but maybe a law clinic or online advice forum could help you find out everything you can before you make a big decision for your children. Good luck and think about it - there is no real hurry, right? You can sleep on it for a few weeks to make sure you're ready to take action.

ok in my experience. my oldest child father has never really been involved as a parent (and we were never married). his name is on the birth certificate as father though. a couple of years ago we had a run in with social services in colorado. this was when i lived there. now after everything was said and done i had a court order put in place that i was the sole custodian but i had to notify him of any major changes in my sons life. this was through a family court. he has no say so in what i choose to do with my son and that includes name changes (i was married to someone else before the whole thing was over with). but i can still get child support from him unless my current husband decides to adopt my son and then i can only collect back support before the adoption. but my husband doesnt want to adopt right now. we can change his name though. my advice is that he is just trying o save some money and get away with being a dead beat dad. keep their last names and see if you can take him to family court and get sole custody. that way you will still be able to get support for your children but you wont have to deal with him. you can change their names as far as i know to yours but as long as his name is on that brith certificate that wont change that he is their father and he is responsible for them. good luck.

S.,
My recommendation is to see a family law attorney. He/she can tell you your best course of action. I know that hiring a lawyer is expensive but this is a necessary expense. The term 'signing away parental rights' is very common but is inaccurate. For example if he signed the birth certificate then as far as Florida law is concerned-- he is the father of your children. He has rights and responsibilities that he can't just shrug off no matter how much he would like to. I know that I am a stranger and I have very little personal experience in this area. But my advice is to see a good lawyer. In full disclosure, I am in school finishing my paralegal degree. I took a class on family law and it was surprising how many people do not see an attorney while doing legal/family matters. I don't feel comfortable recommending any particular attorney but ask your friends and family as they may have some suggestions. Good luck!

he wants to give up rights to make his life easier, not yours. plus that way he doesnt have to pay you any child support. dont let him get away with that. he can always turn over his rights, when you do actually decide to marry some one. he helped make them, he needs to have some responsibility.

S. all you have to do is go to the vital records were your kids were born or to record were ever it may be and ask for aname change form and you can change their names. I'm sorry this happened. I'll say a prayer for you.

M.

S.

I have a 12 yr old son from a previous relationship and about 2 years ago, I need medicade until I started my new job. Needless to say my son's father (who has never had one days time with my son) asked that we draw up papers so he could sign over all rights, because for the 1st time in my life I need State insurance and even thought it was for only 6 months the state still required getting in touch with my son's father, because they feel as everyone else has stated that he is just as financially responsible for him as I am and that maybe if I was getting child support I could have opted for Cobra Ins instead of state insurance. Either way take it from someone how after 12 years still receives NO CHILD SUPPORT - do not let him off the hook.

Keep in mind there my be another womnan on the other end helping him to make these decisions, and that is also not fair to you are your kids they are number 1 in all this and he is only thinking of himself (it takes two to Tango)

I have a wounderful husband now and him and my son get along great, but it is not his repsonsibility to support him - I am adopted and now the proceedure there also.

Look even if you do not want his money - have it direct deposited to an account for the kids for the future - and also just remember - if he is on the Birth certificate and you need goverment help - they will track him down for support whether you want it or no!

Good luck and stay strong for your kids!!!!

I know you can go through the clerk of the courts and do everything without legal representation. My husband was able to adopt my daughter when her biological father finally agreed. Before you go much further though you may want to think about this. If you are not married and the only one supporting your twins doing this will mean NEVER getting child support from him. If you do go ahead with it go to your counties clerk of courts web-site. They have legal forms you can fill out on your own. Before they schedule a court date you can see a clerk to verify all the proper paperwork has been filled out. Good Luck!

Dear S.,
My sister-in-law did that with her ex-husband. I believe she went to the courthouse. I would call the local courthouse or even child services. They should be able to point you in the right direction. Keep in mind that that may also cut off any child support. I wouldn't let him get that far. But that is your business.

well one if he signs over his rights then he won't have to pay child support for one for two don't let him off that easy
my sons father was thinking about it and then decided not too we were best friends until baby. well his was killed in may
a very very bad thing but now i get SSI death beneifits because his name was on the birth cert. the last name i would not change either you can not ease him from their lives for many reasons one medical history, i will always tell my son about his father (my son does not carry his fathers last name)
and brother and sister which are still kinda in his life.

two when he is 50 and your twins find him he will reget not being in his life. so let him be up there but dont let him sign over his rights make him pay child support and last does not matter whos last name they have his blood name is not going to change that
you can also go to courts and get the court to take the child support out of his checks.
my daughter's father is not in her life but he pays child support out of his check then i get a check from the state.
if you have any questions you can email if not i hope this helps a little bit. my name is D. I have a 8 yr old girl and a 2 year old boy my email is ____@____.com

also on the sharing a room does not matter there is not a law against it my aunt had five kids until they get a lot older i would not worried about it
have a good day

Hi S.,
It's amazing how many people have had experiences with this situation! When I went through something similar I learned that WHILE A FATHER CAN VOLUNTARILY TERMINATE HIS PARENTAL RIGHTS, HE CANNOT TERMINATE THE RIGHTS OF HIS CHILDREN. Apparently, if he does not pay child support now- they can sue him for back child support when they turn eighteen. I would definitely seek sole custody, as this allows you more rights and independence in your life. You'll have to check Florida law- I found this sight for low cost legal consultations: http://www.pbcountyclerk.com/
Best of luck to you!

I know your twins father may seem like he is being sincere and thinking about whats right for them, but he is the father and even though he may not be active in their life, he still should be responsible. Even if you have a full time job, he owes it to the children and should be obligated to support them. I don't think he deserves to get off that easy. But, that is just my opinion. My daughter is 14 and has never been active in her fathers life. He chooses to be that way because I left him. I have sole custody of her, but he is still obligated to pay. There was a time when he didn't pay, but I kept calling the case worker and she was all over him. When he would go for months without paying, they would put a warrant out for him, and that seemed to help him pay more regularly. I know you probably want to be rid of him, but it is not the right thing to do. It is about the children. If he is not active now, trust me, he is not going to be active even if he has to pay child support, so let them get the support they deserve.

hi my name is E.,
i am familiar with the termination of rights as i recently adopted my grandchild and i had to terminate first.you need to go to the clerk of the court in delray or wpb and get the package to terminate. i think its 250.00. here is the link
http://www.pbcountyclerk.com/courtservices/family/familys... and http://www.pbcountyclerk.com/courtservices/family/familyd...
as long as the father is willing to sign its very easy. please tell me you are not going to sign off on child support..do not close that door. i have an awesome attorney if you are interested.

S.,

If you find out sooner than I do about the parental rights, please pass the info on. I believe you need to get a lawyer. I know that there are lawyers that work pro-bono however there are other lawyers that work under legal aid that might be able to assist you. I have not done the official research but this is what I have heard. My son hasn't seen his father or heard from him since he was a year old and he is now 5. Let me know and I'll do the same.

The Florida Supreme Court's website has the do it yourself forms necessary. It takes quite a lot of time to sift through them all, but it's worth it. My husband adopted my daughter and we saved over $2000 doing it ourselves. However, you have to be prepared to do a lot of legwork with the local Clerk of the Court's office. The website is http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/ind...

Don't do this unless you're prepared to lose any child support he may be paying. He is responsible to financially support them, even if you get married to someone else. In fact, if it hasn't been ordered by the court here, you could have it done & have his wages garnished.

If your future husband wants to adopt the children, then you'd have to have their father's parental rights terminated first (which doesn't sound like it'll be an issue). If you have the kids' names changed to your name, be prepared for a bunch of other paperwork (schools, social security, passports, etc) - I'm still working on that! But if you get married & your husband wants to adopt, you'll have to do the name change stuff all over again.

Good luck!