Getting Two Year Old to Stay in Bed at Night.

My sister's friend does something that works for them, though I have never tried it. I stay by my kids' bedside until they are asleep usually. My sister's friend gives their child a choice, he can sit on a bar stool in the middle of the kitchen (can't reach anything, can't see the tv) or he can stay in his bed. Give them the choice happily-not like one is the punishment or anything...it is just a choice. They realize pretty quick that sitting on a stool alone in the kitchen isn't very fun or cozy, especially when you are feeling tired...so being in bed doesn't seem so bad. Who knows maybe it will work. Good luck, Amy

Hi,
I had the same problem. I gave my child a safe little toy to play with until they fell asleep. It worked most of the time. Be consistant and don't smile. Be firm. Good luck!!!

We went with bribery! First it started out big, a trip to carls Jr. If he stayed in bed all night. We did this I think about 3 times, then start phasing it out. My kids still get a special treat every morning for staying in their beds all night without calling out.
My husband also slept in the living room for a long weekend to catch my son before he got to me. His goal was always to get to me. Good luck.

We stopped trying to force our 2 yr old to stay in his own bed. Every night was soooo stressful for everyone. He'd scream and scream while his Dad held the door closed. He never stopped getting out of bed. After 3 weeks, I decided it would be better for everyone to just let him sleep in our bedroom.

He has his own pillow and blanket and he sleeps on the rug at the foot of our bed. He's a very sound sleeper once he's out. Sometimes Dad snuggles with him on the floor while he's falling asleep.

It's not ideal, but all the other good advice just wasn't working. We were all losing sleep and all grumpy every day and every night. Now we're happy and healthy and more loving as a family....and his sister actually gets to sleep now, too.

Don't let him sleep in your bed.

Hello C.,

If you feel supported by reading, I recommend, "The No Cry Sleep Solution," by Elizabeth Pantley. You can find this book specifically for toddler/preschooler issues and she gives lots and lots of different ideas.

Enjoy! ~T.

My two year old would get out of bed too. We decided it was a phase and to let it work itself out. We just made sure she couldn't get out of her room (child lock inside the door) and let her sleep wherever. She usually ended up falling asleep on the floor in front of the door. After a while she decided the bed was more comfortable and stayed there.

As for waking your infant, is there anywhere else in the house the baby could sleep, at least until your toddler is staying in bed and not screaming? We had our baby in our room, then in the living room, and didn't move him in with our toddler until she was sleeping better. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Get him a child's day bed and put it where the front of the bed is to the wall and he will not get out of the bed with out going over it.

I watch that show "Super Nanny" and she has the greatest solution to this, and of course it's TV so it always works great for her. Anyway, she has the mom and dad put the toddler to bed, read a story, or whatever their routine is, then say good-night, give loves and walk out. If your toddler gets up, you are supposed to put them nicely right back into bed, say good-night, love you and walk out. If he keeps getting up, you keep putting him right back into bed, being very nice, but not saying anything to him other than "It's bedtime, goodnight. I love you." On the first night the parents usually have to put the toddler back into bed a few if not several times before they give up and go to sleep. Then the next night you do it again. Though on the second night the parents rarely have to put the toddler back more than once or twice. The theory here is that you are the one that is in charge, but you don't argue, or bargain, or get angry. It is bedtime and that is all there is to it. I know that this comes from a television show, but it worked for my friend. The trick is not to argue, plead, get mad, bargain, or anything. Just gently pick him back up, put him back to bed and say "It's bedtime now. Goodnight. I love you." When you are consistent with how you respond to him, he will figure out that you mean business. (You might have to keep the baby in your room until your 2 year-old is finally asleep)

I am a working mom of 5 children, ages 28 to 12, my 12 year-old is the only child left at home. I also have 5 grandchildren. I used a similar method to this one, but it took alot longer to work. This method looks like a tried and true one for me. If I was to have any more children (yikes!) this is the method I would use for my children.

Good luck to you! Let us know what worked for you and your son!

what about reverting back to rocking him to sleep or something like that. i was just reading about this subject today in The Baby Book by dr. sears. he may be needing a little lovey dovey time for reassurance. and some how, he has turned it into a fun nighttime routine. good luck...

can you put a baby gate up at his door so he is not wondering around the house. can you reward him with a treat if he stays in his bed all night? is there apunishment that would make it worth his while to stay in bed and not play this game any more? it seems like you have to take away any kind of fun or attention he may be enjoying from gettin gout of bed. it may just take a while of putting him back over and over and over agin until he gets the picture. those are just some ideas i had. good luck! N.

Watch Supernanny and see all the different ways she uses this back to bed technique. She also has a book but the show (TIVO it) helps as every child is different. The min idea is to be very BORING. Time for bed.... Next time, say nothing, don't look at him. Just keep it up and boring and it should get boring. If a big problem, then try the same technique but sit in the room with your back turned. Work closer to the door each night. Of course, none of this worked for me. My now nearly four year old still gets up. Except now, I use Love and Logic techniques...gets out of the room and the light goes off, then the door closed, and finally (last resort) the door locked (we switched the knob and I unlock it after ten minutes or so). She is FINALLY, getting better and is now earning beans in a jar for a special treat. As they get older, you try to make it HIS control. Of course, he isn't allone in the room so you have to figure out what to do with that...maybe he can play very quietly reading books in the hall by the door until he is tried. But start working on getting him right to bed...but if they are night owls...don't fight it, just make it agreeable for everyone. The more you fight it, the worse it gets...speaking from two years of experience with this.

We have found that with our kids they do this when they need a little extra attention. This may be true if he has a new sibling. Even my 8 year old daughter comes out of her bed saying she can't get to sleep sometimes. I have found that if I will take 5-10 minutes to go in and talk with each of my kids before bedtime or read them a short story, while they are in bed, they go to bed just fine. You don't have to stay in there until he goes to bed, but if he knows he gets a story and some one on one time with one of you, it might help. Make it a routine. My husband and I switch off each night. I look forward to the one on one time with them now, and they do too. Good luck.

We tried allowing our little out-of-bed munchkin to sleep on the floor (if he got it picked up mostly), and we also tried using a sleeping bag. Between these two or a combination of, he has slept in his room nearly every night, with little to no bedtime up-and-down struggle. A few times I wake up to find him on the floor of my room, but he's been happy to be in his twin bed for about 8 months now.

My daughter was 2 1/2 when my 2nd daughter was born. I couldn't have her coming into my bed every single night... which she did. While at her cousins, she saw their parakeets and REALLY wanted some. So I made her a deal. If she stayed in her bed every single night for 21 nights (because 21 times makes or breaks a habit) she would get parakeets. I made a calendar that we kept by her bed (close to her nightlight so she would see it and be reminded) AND a picture of parakeets with it. If she came into our bed even one night, the 21 day countdown would start over. If she made it through the night we would mark the next day with "21" and then "20" etc... If she came into our bed we would mark it with an X and the next night would be "21"... she only came in 2 or 3 times before she figured out I wasn't giving in to starting over, and she REALLY wanted those parakeets. So, before long she got her parakeets and she has been sleeping in her bed ever since. She is 10 1/2 now. She loves to cuddle when I let her, but doesn't have trouble staying in her own bed all night, unless she has an occasional nightmare (which is understandable). We still have the parakeets-- who knew they would live so long?!

I was lucky and didn't have this problem, but Supernanny showed it on TV several times. The answer is in your diligence. Since you used the technique of putting him into bed without a word, you should stay with it. It may mean a night of no sleep for anyone, but that's still the trick. Once he realizes that you aren't giving in, he will give up. Pick the right night or nights of the week and stick with it. You'll get there.

Hi there, I had this problem when my oldest was 3. she would come down stairs and hide behind the couch and think we didn't hear her!! LOL! it was cute but yes you want your time too. we also put up one of those large yet tall baby gates that have screw eyes, they attach to the door jam so the gate can be swung like a little door, it was easy to open and close and she could not climb out since she was a tall kid for 3. we put her to bed as usual and closed the gate, we also left the hall light on until she fell asleep and did so for about a year. She definitely did not like the gate and woke up her sister almost every night for about a month but she eventually understood that when it's bed time we stay in bed. as time went on we would "move" the light down farther, turn off the hall light but turn on the bathroom light which was further down the hall and we put a night light in their room. Now she is 5 and her sister is 3, they still sleep in the same room together and neither of them come out anymore. we don't leave the lights on or close the baby gate anymore either, so they can go potty when they need. As my girls got older and they could not go to sleep I told them they could read a book to themselves but not talk. They would just pass out eventually! They still hear mom and dad downstairs and if they come down it's just for one more kiss and then they are in bed again. I guess kids are just button pushers and we need to be taught when and where we can push those buttons. good luck. pat.

That's a tough one. Did you consider buying an inexpensive crib until baby is a bit older? I know others who have moved the baby from the crib and their children did the same thing. Just my opinion, but I think 2 year old might not be ready for the bed yet. The friends I had who moved their babies out too soon ended up losing naps because their children would get out of bed at naptime. Good luck. Whatever you do, just be consistent and eventually you WILL win! I would not create any bigger problems by allowing the child in your room or laying with him at bedtime. I'm an older mom and have seen lots of children in my time with sleep problems created by those types of solutions. The Supernanny approach seems to be effective if you stick with it.

You will have to just buckle down and continue the putting him back in his bed. It may wake your younger son, but the end result will be everyone getting a good nights sleep. Just stay consistent, try a reward chart for every night he stays in bed with him picking what he wants his reward to be (within reason) and make it a big deal about him being a big boy. He knows your breaking point, just don't let him get there. Do not talk to him, just pick him up and put him back into bed. Good luck

Two year olds are tricky, huh? Giving power of choice sometimes help. So have the bed as a choice, and make a bed on the floor of his room (surrounded by stuffed animals or something). "Which bed are you sleeping in tonight? Yea! If you get out of bed, you may get in the other bed, but that's all." My other suggestion would be to move the baby out of there until the older one is asleep, then put the baby in bed. Good luck!

We had this same problem a couple of years ago. I was told of something that one of my friends saw on Dr. Phil (I think!). They told me to sit right by the side of my son's bed until he fell asleep. It really sucked at first. I think that first night I sat there for over an hour. Then every night, you quietly sit farther and farther away from the bed and if they try to talk to you, you just simply say "I'm right here" and say nothing else. Eventually you will find yourself sitting outside of the door and still when they speak to you, you just reassure them with an "I'm right here". It shouldn't be fun time for them. If they try to get out of bed, I would, without saying anything, pick him up, put him back in bed and then just tell him not to get out of bed again. Oh, and I should say that every night the time that I needed to sit there got shorter and shorter until I was only sitting there for 5-10 minutes and then eventually he was going to bed on his own again. It worked so great for us. We have not had a problem with that paticular problem since (knock on wood!). Good luck!!!

One idea -- move the baby into another room (or hallway) away from your older boy for a few nights...When you put your two year-old to bed, do your regular bedtime routine and then shut the door. If he gets out of his bed, let him. Seriously. Just make sure you keep the door closed. Every time you go in -- whether or not you say a word to him, he's getting your attention and you're probably feeling pretty angry and annoyed and would rather have some alone time with your husband. If he can see that his little game isn't getting to you, it will probably stop. My husband and I tried everything to keep our kids in bed and finally gave up. We just kept the door shut and ignored them. Every so often they play for awhile after we shut the door, but they know that it's bedtime and they settle down eventually. The biggest thing for us was sticking to our night routine so that they could at least be settled down initially and know that it was bedtime. By the way, I have a 4 year old, 3 year old and a 20 month old. :) Oh, if keeping the door closed really bothers you, once he's asleep for the night you can open the door... :)

C.,

Is there a possibility that your two-year-old is afraid of falling out of the bed? I invite you to ask your two-year-old if he would like some bars to keep him in the bed and see what he says.

Perhaps he is simply enjoying the freedom of being able to get out anytime he wants or perhaps the freedom actually scares him.

With Joy, C.
Loving Connections LLC

i have two boys too and they have been so different in what will keep each in bed. it's not unusual for 2 yr olds to play games about staying in bed. the thing that is currently working for them both is to play stories on tape or cd from the library. the cd's are the best because they are longer and i don't have to go into their room as often to put a new one in. we also have a "treasure box" reward system. i choose 3 things they need to work on, such as staying in bed, putting away their toys, using the toilet, not hitting, etc. if they accomplish them all, then the next morning they choose something from the treasure box. there was a time that our oldest would scream too or get into his brother's bed to bother him. so i took him out of bed and put him in timeout until he was finished, closing the bedroom door so his brother could fall asleep. eventually he would calm down and ask to go back to bed. he has always been very energetic and headstrong, so playing a very active game at night, then doing the quiet stuff like stories and allowing him to talk about his day helps him sleep well. of course that isn't possible every night, but it helps many times. good luck!

make sure it's dark, and keep him active in the day

When we switched our now 4 year old to a big girl bed, she did the same thing. Instead of fighting with her, we closed her door and told her that if she was not going to sleep then she had to stay in her room with only her night light on. She would look at books and play, we would find her asleep half way hanining off of her bed. That lasted for about 2 weeks, then we said she had to stay on her bed, read, play but on her bed. After about a month of her being stubborn, she went to bed and went to sleep, usually singing a song to herself. Remember to pick your battles. Good luck!

try laying with him till he falls asleep. he may just need a little extra love right now. my son decided he was ready to trade his baby sister when she was 7 months old. he is pretty little but you could try a "star" chart - if he stays in bed at night he gets a treat the next day. if you do that i would put together a story board to show him. how he goes to bed, falls asleep, maybe you sweeten the deal by staying with him til he is out, then show a pic of him waking up when the sun comes up in his bed, and then getting his treat - it can be watching some special tv or something to eat, or going to the park or whatever, something he really enjoys. good luck!