My two year old used to be great at going to bed and sleeping all night. Her daddy has been reading books and putting her down for the past year or more. It seems that it's been taking him longer and longer to get her to settle down into her bed. The past few weeks have been really bad - she's not sleeping until 10 pm, where it was 8:30 pm this summer. She comes out of the room, runs around, plays with the dog, tries to watch tv with me, and anything else.
We tried staying in there until she's asleep, leaving right away, locking her in, starting bedtime earlier and later, fighting her and ignoring her. I just don't know what else to do. Last night she was up until 10:30, I was already in bed with her jumping on me. I finally got her to lay next to me and she passed out right away.
What have you done to fix this?
Hi P.,
I have a 21 month old. Everytime I think I know the answer to this question that child "one ups" me. Her bedtime is 8:30; however for the last 3 nights, she has not gone to sleep until 10:00 because of her antics. I dont have any advice, I just wanted to wish you luck!
I think I am going to the routine of reading a bedtime story and saying goodnight. And basically ignoring her tricks and pleas.
It's apparent from what you write that your 2 YO does not know who the head of the family is - she believes it is her. You and hubby together read 1 story, turn off light, tuck her in and say good night it's time for the two of you now. If she gets up put her right back to bed. Do not say good night again as you have already done that. Do this however many times it takes. The first night will be the hardest. Do not give in. Have a set bedtime and stick to it. There is to be no playing after "lights out" for her. Even if it takes 3 or 4 nights of being consistent she will realize that Mommy & Daddy are in charge and they set the bedtime. V.
put a gate on her door and tell her no it's bed time. If she can't come out of her room she can't get access to all these distractions. And it keeps her safe in case she gets up in the middle of the night, you won't find her wandering around the house at 3am or God forbid outside by herself. Give her some bedtime music in her room, my son has a CD of wave sounds, my daughter sleeps to a charlie brown christmas soundtrack. Before you start putting her to bed make sure she knows the rules, one story, hugs and kisses and then we go to bed and sleep, and talk to her about how important it is to sleep "cause if she dosen't sleep she won't be able to play as much tomorrow because she will be to tired" something like that, or tell her she grows in her sleep so if she wants to get bigger she needs to sleep ( this was a good one for my son). follow the same routine everynight , book,in bed, hugs and kisses ,turn on music, good night and leave the room. she gets up keep putting her back in bed.
The gate that we have on his door is an extra tall one 36 inches, we bought it at walmart.
My daughter went through that, too. Unfortunately, she learned quickly how to go over the baby gate.
She likes to sleep with the door open a few inches. What kept her in bed was explaining that if she wants the door to stay open, she has to stay in bed. If she got out of bed or kept me running up and down the hall because she kept calling me, I'd close the door. When that happens, I would stay at her door holding the knob, never locking it, for about 30 seconds. Then I'd open it and tell her that the choice was hers whether she wants to keep the door open or closed. If she got up again I'd repeat the process, but hold the door shut for 1 minute, extending the time every time she got out of bed. It only took a few times and she learned to stay in bed. She's now four and has done a fantastic job of staying in her bed for a few years now, but occasionally I have to ask her if she wants me to close the door. It works every time.
This came from Dr. Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems," which I'd highly recommend that any mommy read.
I sounds more to me like a battle of wills than a nap issue. My kids would try this too... ONE MORE story... ONE MORE drink... etc... always testing the bedtime routine to see how much longer they could stretch it out. I really think there is nothing to do but go through the routine... one or two stories or whatever you decide... and then I think you just have to keep putting her back in bed... keep telling her it's bedtime and she has to go to sleep. No giving in. She'll get it.
Hi P.!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this question! I have a 2 1/2 yr old that does the very same thing and has for about 5-6 months. She also used to sleep great! However, lucky you that your husband does the "going-to-bed" routine...it's always me at my house! I am so tired from working all day and being pregnant that I've resorted to just laying down with her in her twin bed until she goes to sleep. I know, I should not do this, but when you are tired and can't stand to hear the crying anymore, it works for me! The last few nights have been much easier and quicker for her to fall asleep for some reason. I will be trying Helen's suggestion tonight! My daughter hates to have the door shut or the light off (we have a dimmer that allows very low light). So, I have my ammuntion for tonight! I hope you find success as well. Take care, D. H.
Try SuperNanny's going to bed technique. Do all your ussual bedtime stuff. The first time they get out of bed tell them it's time for bed and put them to bed without saying anything else. The second time they get out say bed time and put them to bed without saying anything else. Everytime they get out of bed after that just put them back in bed without saying anything. No matter how many times it take, just keep doing that. And do it exactly the same way every night. You should find that it takes fewer times each night and, eventually, they will stay in bed.
is she napping too much during the day? it may be time to adjust her nap schedule...
We have the same issue with our two year old. Is she still taking a nap? We had to cut our daughter's nap in order for her to go to bed at a decent hour!
P.,
Check out the discussion here called "Keeping Toddler in Bed at Night" from 8/4/08. I responded there, too, but super lengthy - sorry! Basically, we tried all kinds of things too, but finally had to put up a gate around his bed to keep him in it with no distractions (one of those play gates circles his bed). He can get down out of the bed & play on the floor right there, but doesn't have access to his whole room/toys/the door/etc. This is still working ~8 months later. I realized that he is not a bad child just really wants to play & has lots of energy. Has a very hard time calming himself down. I think we'll try again soon without the gate, but we'll see! Good luck.
K.
When are her nap times? What time is she getting up in the morning? I would suggest getting her up earlier and move nap up as well. Maybe she is napping later than she should. Try moving everything up and see how that goes! Good luck!
I was wondering if your child has a nap throught the day. My son stopped taking naps at 18 months old so we didn't have too much trouble getting him to bed. We did have a little trouble keeping him awake long enough. If he did nap then we would be up until Midnight. I have a tv in my childrens rooms with the understanding that they can stay in bed and watch it until the sleep timer goes off which I only give about 30 minutes of. Have you tried tv. My kids get tired watching it and finally close their eyes. The tv shuts itself off when the time is up. If me son does come in I just take him back to bed or tell him to go back. It take time and patience. You need to find out what works in your house. And no, my kids are not lacking in school because of too much tv. My son is above in his preschool class and my daughter gets all A's and B's so don't let someone talk you out of what works because they believe tv ruins the mind. I hope you find what helps you. Good luck!
Hey! We went through a little bit of this, too. I think the key is to be consistent. You noted that you have tried a whole variety of things, which might be part of the problem as she might be thinking of it as a kind of game now, with the reward possibly being that she gets to fall asleep with you. What worked for us was just saying what you're going to do and doing it. We put up a baby gate in the doorway and wouldn't go back. Our son fell asleep playing a few times, but eventually he got back into his own groove.
Good luck!
D.
We went though this with my son around 18months old. When he realized life goes on after he goes to bed!! lol We tried everything, closing his door, the baby gate and even put him in his pack 'n play till he climbed out of it!! What I finially started doing was after he was tucked into bed was standing in his doorway, not looking or talking to him. As soon as both feet hit the floor, I would turn to pick him up and put him back into bed. No words, no expression. Normally after about 20mins of this, he would lie there awake and then fall asleep on his own. This went on for almost 2 weeks and the time I had to be in his door way got shorter and shorter. A few times I would leave his doorway before he was asleep and he would sneak out of his room and lay down in the hall way with his blanket!! It was his way of being defiant, he wasn't in bed but we couldn't see him out of bed either! We'd just scoop him up and put him to bed. Now he is allowed to have a few books to look at (now his favoriates are the toysrus big book and targets toy book!!) as long as he stays in bed. And he normall falls asleep within 10-15 mins of laying him down.
What ever you do, stay consistant, firm and don't give up!! Just when it feels like what you are doing isn't working, keep doing it!! A childs will is very strong and can drive any good parent crazy!!
S.
