Getting Crazy "Baby Fever"

Updated on May 19, 2007
D.C. asks from Key West, FL
9 answers

Alright, I have a son who is about to turn 1. My husband is in the navy and is in and out constantly on this ship but only has 12 months left (thank God) before he goes on shore duty. We know we want at least one more child and we both agree that we should wait until we have moved, settled, fixed finances and so forth. We are still planning for conceiving one in about a year or 2. My problem is, anytime I see or hold an infant, my heart just ACHES to have another little baby. Especially a girl. I'm on the pill but I am suddenly consumed with an overwhelming feeling of having another one now even though I know it wouldn't be financialy sound or at all sensible right now. I have caught myself taking my pill hours after I'm supposed to and I've even skipped a couple without any worry entering my mind. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I'm trying to spend more time interacting with my son and doing other things to take my mind off of this but man oh man, sometimes I just want to throw my pills out and get crackin on the next one. I might sound crazy but can anyone help me out with this? Before I conceived the first time, I didn't even think I wanted kids.

Ok I need to clarify this I think. The main issue I'm having is that this feeling is INSANELY overwhelming. Its like my body will not listen to my head. My mind knows what the parameters we agreed on are but my body almost feels like its going through the motions of trying to conceive. I don't know if this is just- even though its been a year almost, post partum hormones..or just well I don't know. I would like to believe I'm sane and this is normal but this is a stronger urge than I've ever felt in my life. I do appreciate the feedback I'm getting though. I guess what I'm asking is a 2 parter 1) is this normal and 2) is there someone out here who was able to distract the urge in someway, other than dicussing it and deciding to go for it? Maybe I just need to get out more. haha

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all the responses. Some of them have been really really helpful and its good to know that I'm not alone in this crazed feeling. I do want people to know that I made my husband well aware of how I've been feeling when I started feeling it and what's happened with the pills so I'm not keeping him in the dark about it and we've been taking extra precautions as well. We've also been discussing the pros and cons. The main 2 issues are money and his limited ability to be as involved as he wants to be due to his remaining schedule on his ship. The last thing he wants is a repeat of our journey so far with our son as far as how much time he gets with him. He was only present for a combined total of 2 months of the pregnancy and he has been at sea for about 6 months combined of his first year. These are my reasons for wanting to find distraction and suggestions. Thank you so much for the resposes and I'm still open for other feedback. Take care :o)

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E.Y.

answers from Norfolk on

Haha...my husband would SWEAR that I wrote that request!! :) I have the same thing going on-I want another baby also and the reason we have been waiting is because of my job and we want to be in a more financially stable place, but every day I feel my resolve slipping a little bit more, and I'm about ready to just give in and start trying again. We tried for a month in February and I cried when I found out I wasn't pregnant. Good luck-it will happen when you guys are ready!

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M.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I know a lot of people who go through that baby fever when their first turns a year. Part of it is you think your baby is gone. I'd suggest waiting a few months and then re-evaluating how you feel.

I went through it, but I'm so glad I didn't act on it. It wasn't that I wanted another baby. I just didn't want my little boy to be growing up so fast. I don't think that I would have been able to handle the way my son is at 2 and a newborn.

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D.D.

answers from Charleston on

Well, I am glad to know that I am not the only one going through "baby fever". Mine started when my daughter was about to turn two and she started gaining her independence a little more. It was all that I could think about night and day. For me it really helped talking with my husband and trying to explain these feelings to him (which trust me, was very hard for him to understand). We both knew that we were just not ready for another child. We had just moved, he was still trying to find a job after finishing in the AF, ect. I finally realized that I had triggers that really set off my "need" for another child. My main one was holding babies, so I stopped. It was really hard b/c there was a baby boom in our circle of friends. I explained my feelings to my friends and they totally understood. Also, I realized that I became focused on trying to have another baby instead of enjoying the special time that I had with my daughter. Once I really let my self go and just focused on her I found my feelings for another child were a little less. They have not gone away but now I think about it occasionally instead of all the time. My husband and I also made the decision that I would come off the patch and let the good Lord bless us again when He was ready. It has been 7 months and still nothing... but I know that it will happen one day and it will be a wonderful "surprise". I hope that things work out for the best for you and your family. ~D. :)

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B.C.

answers from Columbia on

Wow you sound just like me. I went through it before my first son was born. We had agreed that I would stay home so we had to get our finances in order and buy a big enough house, extra. i hated the feeling but I just talked to me husband alot and kept it helped a lot. guys are good at looking at things logically instead of emotionally. Then I went through it again when my son turned 1. Yes, it's part hormones but mostly it's the feeling that your baby isnt so much a baby anymore. Just enjoy him now. have the next one when the time is right and you will all be better for it. Just keep talking to friends and your husband so that your not holding it all in. Just venting can be very theraputic.

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M.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i had the same feeling too .. my husband is also in the navy my son is 3 and we have one on the way , the only thing that i can tell you to do is wait a til you know he will be home for everything . my husband was suposed to , now hopefully he will be home for this child .. and trust me it helps having them there ..

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R.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Diana, God created most women to be Moms - what you are feeling is normal. Some women call it their internal clock, hormones, etc. Our bodies were designed to have multiple babies and our emotions flow right along with that. You are not crazy. I have met many a woman who likes to hold another woman's baby to "get her baby fix".

As far as not being able to have another right now, of course, there is never the perfect time. However, you and your husband do have to agree when the right time is. You skipping pills without telling him, could cause friction if it resulted in an unexpected pregnancy. And a stressful pregnancy is NOT want you want.

For the time, be content with where you are in life. I have found that until we are content with what we have and where we are - we don't move on to the next stage. You are fixating on a situation that you cannot change right now. Focus on the good things in your life. Think about good things - positive things. Think about how you can help others. Join a Mom's play group or a Mother's Morning Out program - even if you use that time to go to the hospital to rock sick babies!! :) Maybe you can use your maternal instincts to help others - or keep a baby for a working Mom.

When my oldest son turned 18 months, I went through a time when I couldn't have a baby - and it was terribly painful for me for a while. I couldn't even look at a pregnant woman without crying and I certainly couldn't hold a baby. But in time, I figured out that I needed to stop spending so much time thinking about what I did not have and focus on what I did have. In time, I had the next child - and I relished every minute of it b/c I had to wait! It was awesome.

I hope this helps.

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

Let me start off by saying I have 5 beautiful babies! We do have a set of BB twins in there which made the number jump!! HA! Four boys and the last a girl! Talk with your husband and reevaluate your feelings, ie desire to have, finances, etc....
Make a decision together, don't skip your pills unless you both are ready. My husband and I always agreed when to have more children and this way we were both emotionally ready, which is important. I wish you the best and good luck when the time comes!

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S.J.

answers from Wilmington on

D.,
I feel your pain. My son is 6 and lately having another baby is all I can think about. My fiance (who isn't my son's father) and I jave been considering it, but we too are in the process of moving and I'm beginning a new job. We're both firm believers in "everything happens for a reason." So, together we made the decision for me to go ahead and stop taking my BC and we'll wait and see what happens. With all of that said, you have to do what's right for you and your family. The biggest thing is to talk it over w/ your husband. Having a baby is a decision you need to make together as it will effect all 3 of you. Best of luck!!

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M.P.

answers from Spartanburg on

Yes, I went through that, right around when my first child was 9 months. I talked openly with it to my husband, but felt completely nuts for wanting another one. Surprise to me, though, because a month after that my HUSBAND admitted that HE was ALSO ready for another one. Your situation is obviously different than mine, though, since your hubby is abroad. That really does deserve some serious consideration.

Have you heard people say tattoos are addictive? Or have you ever bought a house, but continued to scour the ads? I looked for YEARS to find the perfect art arrangement for our living room- I was so used to looking that I still look, even though I have no use for a new one. My point? You're in full-blown baby mode. You've had baby brain for almost 2 full years. Combine this with your still-hormonal body, and you have a hard habit to break. Nobody really looks forward to the toddler-years, because there really isn't much to them- the kids are still too young for amusement parks and dance lessons, but well past being a baby. But try to find SOMETHING to do with your toddler, something that you could NOT do with a baby, and get excited about it.

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