Getting Baby to Sleep by Herself

Oh, please don't let her Cry it Out - at 7 weeks old, she is completely driven on instincts and doesn't understand that she's supposed to be sleeping when you want her to.

Unfortunately, at this age, you really need to let her tell you what she needs. This stage is for you to bond with her, for her to trust you and to be nurtured. If she needs to be held all the time, for now, do it. This phase is short and will quickly become something completely different.

She may have colic which may just need to run its course. Most babies outgrow it at 12 weeks - our daughter did. It was like a switch turned off, and she was a completely different child.

It's really hard when you're sleep deprived and need a break, but she needs you so much more right now than she ever will again in her life.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

omg i can't believe some people said let her cry. please please please don't do this to your 7 week old baby. they can't start sleep training until they're at least (at least!!) 6 months old. all the drs will agree to this. right now, she just came out of your comfortable, dark snug womb and all she wants to do is be held by you b/c she can smell you and hear your heartbeat. i know its hard but you just have to sweat it out. try different things like getting a sleep sheep (this thing has a heartbeat that sounds like your own) or making the room darker or swaddling her. try as many things as you need to but don't let her just cry! good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

I say she is only 7 weeks old! At this age they cannot comprehend crying it out! If she needs to be comforted to go to sleep then comfort her she will eventually do it on her own. Lay her down after she has fallen asleep and try the carseat worked wonders for us. How about someone else holding her? Also I wouldn't call this a phase unless being a baby is a phase. It gets better I promise this is only a short time of her life where it seems like you might never sleep again :)

1 mom found this helpful

Get a sling to wear her during the day so you have your hands free to do things. Get a co-sleeper to attach to the bed at night. They grew IN you for 9 months, it's only natural that they want to sleep ON you for at least that long:)

I wrote a long edit to this and Mamapedia messed up and deleted it:(
So, here's a short version:
Babywise is evil. Here's info on the author:
http://www.ezzo.info

All the recent research says that forcing a child to scream himself to sleep is detrimental. Here's an article about it:
"Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:" (click the link to read the rest)
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

Get educated before you subscribe to anyone's idea of how, when, and where a baby sleeps.

1 mom found this helpful

If she wants to be snuggled, then snuggle her. I co-sleep with both my kids and love it! My oldest is 3 and she's in her own bed in her own room now, but she slept with us till she was about 6 months old. At that point she decided she was ready for her bed (restless in ours, wouldn't sleep if she was in my bed, slept soundly in her own bed). She will still get into our bed in the middle of the night about twice a week, I think she has bad dreams. My baby is 9 months and shows no signs of wanting to spend the night in her own bed. She still loves to snuggle and prefers the warmth of our bed. There are ways to co-sleep safely. We are one of the only cultures that doesn't co-sleep with our children. I can only imagine how scary it is for a tiny baby to go from the comforting warmth of mom's womb to the big world. There's so many sounds, lights, things to see, etc. Your baby probably just needs your touch and warmth to feel safe. That's a good thing! I highly recommend you check out Drs. Sears. They have some great books on attachment parenting, co-sleeping and raising children in general.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, my baby was the same way...its really hard. The only thing that worked for us is letting him fall asleep while nursing and them letting him sleep in his carseat. He felt more secure in a semi-upright position and the carseat was very comforting for him. He didn't sleep through the night until 4 1/2 months but after that he rarely ever wakes up.

Baby's are unable to self-sooth until 4 months of age, and even most hard-core CIO Dr do not recommend letting them CIO until 5 months.

The issue you are having is that during the first 12 weeks, their sleep cycle is very different from ours. What you need to do is hold her for 20 minutes, and then put her down --she should be in a deep sleep by then. In the next three weeks, things should get easier as peak fussiness will be over, and you should be able to put her down much more easily. Just keep doing it, and she will eventually be able to sleep on her own.

Ok, I definitely say do NOT let a 7 week old cry! What will probably help you the most is to get an infant carrier for you to wear. The one I used at that age (and still do on occasion if my son is having a clingy day) is the MobyWrap. It is very comfortable to wear and will keep her safely snuggled to your chest. My son would sleep there while I did housework, cooking, bill paying, taking my older son to the park, etc. That is, obviously, for the day time. At night time, swaddle her VERY tightly (look up "The Happiest Baby on the Block" for tips on swaddling) and let her sleep wherever she is most likely to sleep the best. For our older son it was the vibrating bouncer for the first 2 months. For our younger son he loved the swing. Oftentimes I would just, out of exhaustion, let my son sleep on my chest as I sat almost upright in my bed. Not the recommended method as there are some risks, but sometimes I just fell asleep while burping him and we'd sleep that way for 2-3 hours at a time.

Hang in there, Mama, it DOES get better!!

If you can handle it, maybe just let her fuss a few minutes and see if she'll calm herself down. She's still a newborn, so you don't have to let her do it more than 5-10 min. It might be worth a try for your sanity!

Good luck
A. V.

Depending on whether it would work for you and your family, you might consider safe co-sleeping. Here is a good website with resources about it. Many babies really need to sleep near (or on) their parents for a while. And there are ways to do it safely. Here is a good place to start: http://www.cosleeping.org/

Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep!

that is normal. My baby at that age would only go to sleep if I nursed her down.
7 weeks is too young to try and sleep train her and you cant spoil her. I say enjoy this time (its precious and goes by fast). Try giving her a nice bottle or nurse her to sleep. My doctor said you are not suppose to try and sleep train them until they are at least 12 or 16 weeks old. We tried the Ferber method but the baby got more mad when we walked in and did nothing to so we just did the CIO method. It took about 4 bad nights.
Also could it be the position she is in that she likes? if so try elevating her crib mattress. We did a no no (according to the doctor) and let our baby sleep swaddled in her carseat until she was 4 months old. If its the warmth, get a heating pad and warm her blankets up before putting her to bed (then obviously turn the heating pad off.

Get something musical, the fish music box at Babies are Us actually has fairly nice tunes and you can get rid of the light if you wish.
My daughter has one at my house and one at theirs and have thrown one away as it was worn out. My grandson turns it off and on himself now, if it stops before he is asleep.
This thing also plays for 18 minutes. It's a good thing!

Ohhh...I feel your pain. My oldest daughter was just like this and I went everywhere for advice and tried everything. I don't want to disappoint or discourage you but it was a slow transition with her. I too, waited to let her CIO until she was older because so many people said don't do it at this age. Guess what waiting longer did not help. I am not saying to let her CIO now, but don't expect waiting will change her behavior. You could like someone suggest let her try the car seat. My cousin said her daughter slept in her car seat at night. They would have to drive her around, let her fall asleep then place the car seat in the crib. Another cousin said she ended up letting her baby sleep on (the forbidden) tummy. I would like to say I tried it all. I read books as she got older, tried different techniques. It was hard...and all I can say is it will pass and you can get through it. Keep trying different things...maybe you will find something that will help.
As for my daughter, she is now almost 5, she went from being held to sleep (used to sleep on the couch with her a newborn/baby) to co-sleeping. At 2 1/2 we moved her to a toddler bed next to our bed and just 3 months ago we moved her to her own bedroom with her sister. She still once in awhile gets up in the middle of the night wanting us when in her sleep she can't feel her sister next to her.
By the way my youngest daughter, who is almost 3, slept in her crib from day 1 and nothing was done differently except maybe at a little bit of CIO when she got in those funny stages as an infant of not wanting to sleep in her crib.
Good luck, I know its hard, but it will pass.

We had beach sounds playing and sometimes my son would sleep fine, other times I felt like I had to hold him 24/7. The only thing that worked was to let him cry it out. It didn't last long, and he has been sleeping through the night since about 8-10 weeks.

I had the same problem with my daughter until she was about three months old. My arm had little feeling during the day because she slept on it all night! I bought Richard Ferber's "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" book and followed his technique. My daughter was sleeping in her crib within an hour the first night and it took only four nights of us following his methodology to be done with it. It involves going in her room to talk to and soothe her (without picking her up) in scheduled increments of time that gradually increase. Not as drastic as the crying it out method, but will bring you relief soon! I would've paid thousands for the sanity that doing this brought!

Hi Theresa,

You have just asked one of the MOST controversial questions of parenting! Haha! I almost lost my mind when my baby was 4 weeks old...you made it longer so congrats! By the grace of God my mom learned about a book called On Becoming Babywise. I read it in a day (half of the book teaches you things you already know so you can read it quickly too), and that night she slept 9 hours total with only one feeding during the night, and slept in her bassinet the whole time. The first few days were hard, but after that she took naps and went to bed so wonderfully. All my friends are pregnant now and asking the name of the book because to this day my daughter still sleeps like a pro. This was also great when she was teething because I knew WHY she was getting up and crying and instead of feeding her or rocking her back to sleep, I could give her tylenol and teething tablets. She also will sleep anywhere in her pack and play. I am a loving mother and we have a great relationship, so has crying it out affected her in anyway....not at all other than she sleeps way better than most kids. Also, everyone that I have told abut the book that has tried it has had the SAME success. Good luck no matter what you choose because parenting can be so difficult at time when your heart just wants to do what is best.

Put her down and let her cry. I know it's hard, but she will get through it and so will you. It does help build lung power too.......As long as you know she is fed and has a clean diaper, let her cry. Eventually she will entertain herself. If she is in her crib, does she have a mobile, something that plays music? If so, get those going.....I used a radio.......nice soft calm music......give it a try.

Take care and good luck.