12 answers

My 20 Month Old Son Throws a Tanturm at Bed Time

My son is 20 months old and every time i want to put him to bed he cries and kicks and literately fights me down to get out side. Before he had a very healthy sleeping pattern, he got up around 7 am had a nap around 10 am after his bath, have a nap again in the afternoon and went to bed at night around 7 p.m. But now he stays up for the entire day running about and if he falls asleep its only for 20 minutes. And at night it seems to be the worst, he plays and plays and goes to bed sometimes at midnight. When i try to put him to sleep, he screams, cries, fights me to get off the bed and when he has completely wear me down he comes off the bed, opens the bedroom door and escapes. this is leaving me tired and frustrated i have no idea what to do to get him back to his normal sleeping hours. Help!

What can I do next?

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Get those spinning door knob covers so he can't open his door, and let him be. All kids go through this stage. Just limit his options for play in his room and forget it. It's just a phase. You've been lucky that he took 2 naps so long. He still needs a nap, or at least quiet time every day. He'll settle back down eventually.

1 mom found this helpful

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He only needs 1 nap a day. If he will not sleep he at least needs extreme quiet time.If he gets up at 7:00, then have him play very active from 10:00- 11:30. This means outside running around climbing, jumping hopping.. Riding a trike..

Bring him inside and wipe him down so he can cool off. Feed him a quiet lunch speak softly . Make sure your home is cooling down.. No TV... Then nap right after lunch.. This should be a quiet story with a fan blowing on him.. You may want to cover the windows in his room with something to block out the light. One mom said she uses black trash bags.. Then just like when you were teaching him to sleep at night, every time he gets up, walk him back to his bed and just say, its time to sleep. EVERY TIME. You can also tell him he has to stay in his room in his bed. Do not mention sleeping.. Let him look at books or play quietly.

Then when he wakes up it is a tiny snack if he needs it and then running and playing then errands, then get ready for dinner, bath, quiet time.. Get the room ready again.. fan, darkened not a lot going on.. And bed.. If your neighborhood is loud with children outside playing and he can hear that.. You may want to play some music or purchase a sound machine.

It does take a lot of effort in the beginning.. This is not unusual. Your little boy is wanting to be where all of the fun is and he thinks that is with you entertaining him.. If it looks, sounds and feels like not much is going on, he would much rather hear a good story, be comfy in bed and sleeping.

I am sending you patience and a good nights sleep.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree that you need to cut down to one nap and maybe move his bedtime back about 30-60 minutes. We totally went through this when we moved my daughter to a big bed at about this age too. It was horrible. I cried every night. I never thought it would get better, but it did...slowly but surely. I think you need to come up with a game plan to keep him in his room. Once he's in his room and not trying to come out, leave him alone and let him take care of himself. We pretty much just put her in bed every time she got up...I would say my record was probably upwards of 100 times a night. It was not easy, but it eventually worked and that's the goal. Each night was better. Look at it like this...you're worn out, tired, frustrated and irritated now, so that's not going to change, but what is going to change is your approach so that eventually the other things will change too.

You can use the door knob covers. I never did only b/c I feared that once she figured out how to overcome them, it would become an issue all over again. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but that was why I avoided them. This is a very hard time. Most parents go through it. Having a plan will help move you in the right direction and until then, my heart goes out to you and the tears we share! ;)

1 mom found this helpful

Get those spinning door knob covers so he can't open his door, and let him be. All kids go through this stage. Just limit his options for play in his room and forget it. It's just a phase. You've been lucky that he took 2 naps so long. He still needs a nap, or at least quiet time every day. He'll settle back down eventually.

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds like you have a good schedule in place, stick to it. You can probably eliminate the morning nap at his age he probably doesnt need it anymore. As for the getting out of bed issue, continue your normal evening routine and then put him in bed. When he gets out of bed tell him, "Son it is time for bed", put him back in bed, "I love you and I will see you in the morning". If he gets out of bed again, lead him by the hand back to bed and tell him "Mommy said it is time for bed", and put him back in bed say nothing else. If he gets up anytime after this lead him back to bed not saying anything at all. It might take a few nights but it really does help. Also he might be teething or going through growth spurt. Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful

I would save his bath for before bedtime. It is very calming and soothing start to a bedtime routine. Make sure he is not overstimulated after dinner. Quiet music, read a book together, bath, jammies, bed. If he is in a toddler bed try bed rails it may help him feel a little more secure. Babyproof his room, make sure furniture is anchored to the wall, plugs covered, blinds & curtains are secure, etc.. Get a gate for his doorway. Supernanny has some great techniques so check it out online or get her book from the library.
Start to have a "quite time" during the day where he goes into his room to nap. If he doesn't sleep that's okay, just don't engage him in a battle. Place him in his bed, read a story to him, tell him it's "quiet time" and leave the room. In the beginning start at 10 minutes, then slowly increase it by 5 min increments. If he gets out of bed make sure there is a toy or book he can play with. Use a baby monitor with video so you can see that he is okay without him seeing you.

You are entering a very interesting age and your patience will be tried and tried again. Be firm, be flexible, be consistent and most importantly be the mom! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

No advice, but I was just about to post something like this... I am in the same boat with my 20-month-old little man. Can't wait for people to respond. I am constantly up and down during the night putting him back in his bed, then he comes back...you get the cycle. Sleeping in his bed has never been a problem until recently. We have him in a toddler bed , seeing as he discovered how to get out of his crib. Girl, I am tired too!

1 mom found this helpful

I think it is time to eliminate the morning nap and just do one nap around 1230 or 1, and maybe move the bath to nightime. When they are over tired, it is sometimes harder to get them down for a nap, and it sounds like he is over tired, and he is getting too much sleep in the morning and throwing off the rest of the day.

When did you transition him to a toddler bed? Maybe he wasn't ready yet and would sleep better in a crib?

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