Foster Parenting - Saratoga Springs,NY

I fostered for a while. Took in one infant and one toddler (seperate times)

The infant was born addicted to drugs, and his mother went to rehab straight from the hospital. The baby had alot of physical problems and neurological problems from the drugs (seizures, swollowing problems, etc). I had him for 6 months while his mother went through detox, rehab, and sober living... she the got a job, got her own apartment, and took her baby back home with her. It was a wonderful experience...knowing that although she was wrong for doing drugs while pregnant, that she had the ability to turn it all around to take care of her son.

The toddler I had was a similiar experience, only not born addicted, mother went through rehab, and school for dental hygeine, got her daughter back, and now is married with 2 more children.

I know these examples are not the norm... but the place I fostered for was really great about taking in kids that had a plan to return to their birth parents. More of a short term thing, with most of the kids only being in care for 6 months to a year.

I think now that my daughter is older I would like to get back into doing it again, although it is hard to see them go after they become part of the family, and I am not sure that I woud take in a teenager with problems, as I have a 15 year old myself.

Hope it helps

hi
as a FORMER foster "kid" myself, I can tell you the parents I had were in it strictly for the money... Matter a fact, the lady had about 8 of us at one and while you might think that is a lot, it is IF you are actually giving them decent care and love. but she didn't .. for us, it was about the money. to the mother , we represented dollar signs. Further, the father was a perv and the mother emotionally and physically abusive. My advice, if you get into foster care, please remember, foster kids or not, they want the same things "regular" kids want.. love, respect and care. Don't treat them second best (as many foster parents do) while treating their biological kids a great deal better..
I think your local social services should be able to assist you.. I hope and wish you the best...

I know several foster parents. There are 3 in our tiny town that I know personally. Most of them have good hearts, but the money is a big motivation. They take in children labeled "special needs" because they get A LOT more money for them. Two of the families have more than 7 foster children and make a very good income from them. Sometimes they will adopt them, but that doesn't mean the money stops. Its a subsidized adoption so they get money and medicaid for the children their whole lives.
I'm not saying the children aren't taken care of, but are they loved like a parent loves their child? No. These are my friends I'm talking about, so I'm not trying to put them down. The reality is money is a factor. A big factor.

My husband & I are licensed foster parents, although we have only been active for a year now. We've had 3 children placed with us. The first thing I will say is- its not for everyone-. Its hard. The situations that they are in that brought them into care is heartbreaking. They're overwhelmed and hurt and scared. Its rewarding yes, but it dosen't come without its down side. We loved the children that were place with us, they were all younger than 7 yrs old.
They need your unconditional love just like your own bio children. Just remember, they didn't ask to be there. None of what has happened is their fault. They just need a safe place until they can return home.
If I can be of more help to you, just send me PM and I'd be happy to let you know more.

my husband and i cannot have any kids without dr's help, so we thought about foster parenting girls that are my daughter's age since she has more clothes than she knows what to do with, his uncle is a foster parent of 2 boys, and i've helped church member's who are foster parents, later adopted parents of some kids. it is HARD to see some of the kids i've seen come in and out of foster houses. one little girl that REALLY sticks in my head i worked with when i was pg with my 8 year old daughter. i don't remember her name, but she was only 2 maybe 3 and SERIOUSLY misstreated, she was sexually abused to the point only certain WOMEN could help her go potty, or change her pull up, thankfully i gained her trust and she perfered me over any of the women in the church nursery. she was mal nourished to the point her hair was LITERALLY falling out, seriously, MAYBE 100 strands of hair on her head, teeth were rotting out (mostly black roots) due to the mal nourishment...it broke my heart...

foster parenting is not for the emotional people cause it'll really irriatate for lack of a cleaner word a lot of parents out there watching what state will let kids go through before "rescuing" them....

and like a lot of posts, money is a HUGE factor....i've thought about "rescuing" a child to give my daughter a "sibling" but knowing what some foster kids have gone through stop me because i'd be going to counseling with them knowing that a poor innocent child has gone through that.....

this has always bothered me too, and while i don't know much about how foster program works, i would be interested, only if i knew there was a way to adopt the child.
but i have also heard that getting to become a foster parent is a very difficult and long procedure, but not sure.

My cousin and his wife are foster parents and, quite frankly, they are ill equipped. I have yet to figure out how they could have possibly passed the requirements to become foster parents (it makes me wonder if it is as strict as stated in the literature from the state). Their biological children are a mess and yet the state decided they were ok to raise another child. My cousin's MIL lives with them and she pees everywhere (no one knows if it is on purpose or if she has a medical issue...she refuses to address it). Their bio daughter has attempted suicide several times. Their other 15 year old daughter is pregnant. Both girls were molested when they were younger and have unresolved issues. They have 3 bedrooms for 8 people. For them, it is all about the money. They are in debt (yet managed to recently go on a cruise), get food stamps and welfare (any assistance they can possibly get, they get) and figured this was easy money...all they have to do is feed a child. Their social worker knows about all of these issues and yet they are considered appropriate parents. I guess it is a flawed system. I have thought about becoming a foster parent but, like the others, I am not willing to place my biological children at risk by fostering. When my children are older I will look into fostering infants.