Foster Care Advice

D.,

We fostered to adopt a wonderful little boy who is now 4 1/2 yrs old. YES it was worth every bit of red tape and anything else that we went through. It was hard to watch what HE had to go through...and it hasn't been an easy road, but we wouldn't change it for the world. Good luck!

Hi I'm currently A Foster/Relative Parent. I attended the Foster class. It can be worth it if you are dealing within your state. I'm going through alot because my child is a relative from Fl. He was brought to me at the age of 15 mths. in March and DFCS are now giving me assistance from GA. Which they wasn't going to give me any because 1 the child is a relative and 2 he is from another state. But I am certified to get any children from GA. It has been a very long process ( 1 yr.) since I have been going through this process. He is up for Adoption in August which I will be ready. But you must have a lot of patients especially at that age or younger. I have two other children a 14 yr.(son) and 9 yr.(daughter) And I am a single parent. It is a big ADJUSTMENT! But speaking with my other class mates they enjoy it for the finances but you must have additional finance to compensate until you are paid monthly to be able to provide for the child. And have lots of PATIENCE! DFCS do require a lot from you! But at the end of Day I am blessed with what I have done and I'm going to continue changing Kids live and Giving them Much Love.

Yes, Yes, and Yes again. I can only echo what the other ladies have said. It was hard letting them go, but I just keep praying for them. Knowing that you had a hand in shaping them/preparing them for life, giving them all the love they can stand....is an awesome feeling.

It may not be easy, but it is worth it. And as a single mother, I can say...I do it everyday. And I am rewarded everyday.

It can be a rewarding experience, my parents fostered quite a few kids while I was growing up. You do need to be careful and I dont want to be some1 who says dont do it, just make sure u know what you're in for. I'm glad there are many people on here who have had positive experiences and while I do remember a lot of good times with the kids I remember a lot of hardship. Be specific with the agency they tend to downplay a lot of "behavioral" problems obviously no kid is perfect, I would take into consideration the age of your children. you will be required to do lots of things for the fosterkids sometimes special classes, different doctors, parent visits ( whcih can be a whole other issue when the kids return from a visit) these things you will have to work your childrens lives around. Also remember that they are not your kids the things you say or how you disipline your own children you may not be able to with the foster kids, your own children may find that unfair (again depending on your childrens age)be careful with some children and their sexual experiences things they might say, how you have to think of everything such as your husband bathing or dressing a child, your children bathing together ect... Birth parents prompting the foster child questioning them stuff like that. Plus you need to be more careful of any injury say the child falls and gets cut, the agent will "look into it". I understand that some of these things are necessary b/c there have been abusive foster parents and thats the last theing they want for these poor kids. Lots of times you will be faced with seeing a child go back to a parent or a situation that is meerly just acceptable and you will mourn for that poor kid. All you can do is pray that you made a positive impact on the child. I cant say dont foster, there are so many children needing a wonderful temporary home who need to see family in a positive light. My husband and I have considered adoption but Im not sure I would be into fostering, just seeing the way it wore on my family as a child and my family was strong, we were ok though and if you feel the tug on your heart I say at least try it, you may have some wonderful and amazing experiences. It may be the best thing you've ever done. i just wanted to give you a heads up, please think long and hard about it, I guess you never know until you try it. Good luck.

D.,
By all means educate yourself on Foster Care. One of the BIGGEST behavioral problem is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

This can be helped and healed. Knowing the number of previous placements for a FChild has had is going to help you build trust.

MANY of the Foster Care kids have attachment issues.

Check these websites, www.radzebra.org. www.attach.org and www.radkids.org (or com) can't remmy this one.

ALL of these sites can give you added insight to the fears a child has when separated from birth parents and they come into care.

You can email me off group if you want to chat some more.
____@____.com

Hope this helps, Above all, I would say foster if this is something G*d is calling you to do.

B.

Hi, ihave my own 3 boys but I was in the fosterhome til my grandmother went through the red tape for my sister and I and I want to one do it for other children. I won't say the kids will be angels. Our own aren't sometimes! Pray and Do it!

We fostered and even adopted from DCFS... I would be happy to talk with you about our experiences...

My husband and I were foster parents for over ten years. It was worth it because we made a difference in the lives of children who had been abused, misused and were starving for love. Eventually, I hope to write a book about our experiences. We look back with fond memories.

I fostered and actually ended up adopting. I think that it is so rewarding to be able to impact the life of a child so it was important to my husband and I to do so, however we were a bit nieve about a few points. The funds that you are supplemented with are not really enough especially since we felt that since we brought the kids into our home, we didn't want them to feel as if they were "less" than our biological kids so if we did for our own we did for them. So finacially make sure that you are ready. Also it is a bit intrusive to have to alter your schedule for caseworkers and parent visits but I think that as long as you understand that these children really need to be apart of a good family structure then you'll really enjoy all of the other benefits that fostering can bring. Its a tough job but soo rewarding when you see how you're helping others. We actually ended up adopting our foster kids, and I can say that they come with baggage but remember that these kids did not do anything to gain this baggage so its our job to help them to remove it so that they can be successful adults.

Hi D.,
Yes, and Yes....I fostered over 60 kids in a 5 year period and whatever they do is for not only for your benifit, but the childs. I would also recommend to attend any additional trainings that might be available...its all valid at some time or another. We used to have foster parent meetings monthly and those were also useful.
Good Luck and God Bless your efforts!
D.