For Parents or Teachers Who Had a 4 Year Old Starting Kindergarten

i wish i had been able to move ahead. i was so bored, it took the death of a grandparent junior year before i actually struggled. i WISH i had been sent ahead a grade.

so i guess though i dont really have an answer for you, my suggestion is to not let the social aspect keep you from putting her ahead if you need to. get the testing done or whatever to see what her skills are. basically, i was not bumped ahead because my mom didnt think i was socially ready, but in all honesty looking back, i was NEVER going to be socially ready. i wasnt socially ready senior year. socially, im completely different from every other kid i went to school with. so it felt cheap to hold me in my grade because of social things, when it wouldnt have made a difference.

does that help ? this IS a big decision. you could always try it and take her out of it if things dont go well. you could send her to pre now and bump her up half way through the year ? right? so i dunno. do what you feel is best for her! :)

My first daughter (now 28 yrs. old), whose birthday is Sept. 18, has high intelligence. My husband and I wrestled with the same thing, when to start her in kindergarten (no Pre-K in those days). The school psychologist tested her and she scored just under genius. However, she was a small girl and the psychologist felt that because of her size, she would not be able to keep up in physical activities, and would probably get picked on. This, in addition to being younger than the other children, would possibly take an emotional toll on her. We chose to wait until the next school year and have not regretted it at all. Lack of enough mental stimulation was a problem on occasion over the school years, but I am still glad we made the choice we did. Good Luck!

I would look very closely at the social emotional aspect of putting her into Kindergarten that early. She may handle it, she may not. Does she have a group of friends she wants to stay with? Does she make friends easily and wouldn't have any trouble? Just something to consider. Being uprooted from friends may harm more than going to Kindergarten early will help.

I have known a few children who, in terms of their intelligence, were just ready. I had a girl in my class last year who was just so bored the entire time. She was a very good kid, smart, usually well behaved and she started acting out eventually because we couldn't keep up with 20 other kids then her. At least not to the extent where she was being challenged. For her, going to Kindergarten helped a lot!

I started early (at 4). I did well academically all the way through graduate school. If I were to make that decision having lived it - I would have waited until I was 5. Socially and emotionally we all develop differently - I wasn't behind, but I would have been more confident and self realiant if I were older. There were challenges with being "whiney" when I was young - and too influenced by social pressures in HS. Last to develop and last to drive... last to date.... My daughter is in the same boat as I was and she will start kindergarten 24 days before she turns 6! I'm happy with that. I would talk to her teachers, and others. You can always supplement the academic development w/ other classes (piano, educational etc) but you cannot speed up or supplement social and emotional development. I've never talked to anyone who wished they had moved their child through the system faster... ultimately your choice of course.

My daughter was 4 for the 1st 2 weeks of Kindergarden and she did just fine. She's in the 2nd grade now ... sometimes she makes a comment about being the youngest but it doesn't really seem to bother her. She's always been mature for her age and was in preschool since she was 18 months .. so , developmentally she was good. I would totally do it again....I think it really depends on your daughters maturity level and also .. if you think she is academically ready? Also I like the fact that she will still be 17 years old when she graduates .. lol :)

My son was 4 when he started Kinder. He wasn't ready, maturity wise. He had been in Pre-K and all was well and the teachers felt he should go to kinder. He ended up repeating Kinder and THAT was the best decision we ever made. What a diiference a year makes. To each his own. As long as you feel she's ready than do it.

Just an FYI from some one who's been there...and I mean it was ME that went into kindergarten early. :) I have a late November birthday and our district's cut off was end of Sept. I had already been in preschool for two years and my mom felt I was ready. I distinctly remember taking the "test" with the school psychologist, he wanted me to draw him a house and I didn't want to! LOL I made him leave the room so I could draw it. My poor mom must have thought what a mistake she was making! :) But I was technically "gifted" because I tested out at like a 1st grade level or something. So they left the decision up to her, tho they warned her I might be socially behind my peers. I never felt that, tho it did suck when everyone could drive before me, and hit 21 before me. :)

But I did fine in school, was prom queen, good grades (3.8 avg), etc. Wasn't valedictorian or anything, but got into a great college and am very happy my mom made the choice to put me in "early". I can't imagine it any other way.

I might be facing the same decision in a couple years with my son who has a early Nov b-day. My other boys are late Aug and Sept, so they will be young too, but make the cut-off. You are right that you still have the summer to decide, either way will work out well. Good luck! :)

My dd has a summer bday, so could have gone when she was a young 5. Academically, she was ready and would have done great. Socially/emotionally we felt she needed more time to mature. She started kindergarten the year she was 6 and we do not regret it at all. For her, it was 100% the right decision.

You need to look at the big picture, as this decision will effect her entire school career. It may seem best for now, for this year, so she doesn't seem "bored" in preschool, but you need to think about how it will effect her years down the road. What if she has a tough time and needs to repeat K? What happens when all her friends are wearing bras, getting their period, and going boy crazy and she is way behind? How will she handle the HUGE amount of peer pressure she will have in school when she is a full year behind, mentally, emotionally, maturely? Will she be ready to leave home at 17 and go off to college and make good, safe, mature decisions?

It is a lot to think about and a huge decision. In OUR case, it was the right thing for our child and continues to be right for her. You know your dd best and will know what is best for her. Oh, we didn't decide to wait to start K until the day before the school year was to start, so you certainly can take your time. Good luck!
S.

Another way to help your daughter grow both socially/emotionally and academically without putting her into K, would be to use 2 different preschools with different philosophies. She can be in Pre-K this year at one school (or teacher within school) and a different Pre-K class at a different school (or teacher within same school). Often, teachers have different approaches that allows a child to spread her interests, rather than just getting the academics.

At my dd's preschool, there are 2 Pre-K classes and the teachers have 2 completely different approaches. My daughter's teacher is very much about rules and traditional approaches to academics, where the other teacher approaches the academics with a more hands on method. The students in the other class do much more hands on activities, like the garden plot in back, building birdhouses, using a potter's wheel. She uses these and other hands on activities to teach the curriculum (same curriculum for both classes-different approaches). My dd's teacher sits the kids at a table and they learn the curriculum in a more rote fashion. There are some hands on activities, but it is much more directed.

Being able to learn with various approaches can help your daughter learn more about herself and how she learns best.

My daughter is already reading well and is very tiny, so I am worried about her getting bored in class, too. But, I am a middle sch teacher and have seen the kids come through that started early and late and have to say, those that start a little later, tend to do much better with interactions with peers, especially in the middle school where bodies are changing along with attitudes.

I think a child should be allowed to learn through play prior to formal school starting. If you enrich her academics at home with activities of building, planting, music, physical activities, etc., your daughter will be much more well rounded and will soar through school and find her niche much easier.

I have chosen to contact the TAG (talented and gifted) coordinator for her school so that my dd can get some enrichment after school or during for pull out sessions once in awhile and still be with peers her age.

D.

Around here there is no option. You have to be 5. I have a couple friends who were 4 when they started and they felt like they were behind all their lives -- even though they were academically ahead. I don't see why there would be a rush. You can always supplement her work at home, and perhaps they can at school too. And when she gets to high school you can take AP classes or possibly she can even be in a gifted program if she's that advanced. It's hard to be the last one to turn 16 and always be the youngest of her peers. It's good to be the same age AND academically advanced. That seems like a win/win to me.

My daughter started K at 4yrs old. Her birthday is Oct. 30, so older than your daughter would be by a couple of weeks, maybe? She's in 2nd now and there have been absolutely no problems. She's doing fine academically, socially and physically (she was always a tall girl, so she fits right in). When I look at the 1st graders now (which is where she should be chronologically), they seem awfully small and young compared to her. I, too, was always the youngest in my class (July birthday, started K right after I turned 4), and never had any problems in school growing up. Actually, that's not completely true. When I was a senior in college, all my friends were going to bars legally. I was still 20 and never got to legally drink in college. At the time, it was kind of a pain and I thought it wasn't fair. But it wasn't really a big deal in the long run. It's up to you to figure out if your child is ready for K, but for me and my daughter, starting early was the right choice.

My stepdaughter has a half-sister (I know, confusing) whose mother pushed her straight into first grade (no kindergarten). (She tried this with all four of her kids and the school finally let her with the youngest.) Yes, she was intelligent, but she was forever trying to "keep up" with the older kids she was with. By high school she was drinking, dating, and being sexually active before she was old enough for a driver's license. In the end, she was glad her mother did this because she could move out of the house earlier than ever, too. She is now struggling academically in college. Her IQ has been measured at 145.

I wouldn't do it. What's the rush? I would work with her school and supplement her interests at home, and let her be a little girl.

My daughter started kindergarten when she was 4 and graduated when she was 17. She was mature enough when she started, and i never felt like she had a problem in that area. i remember her complaining that she was younger than her friends, but when i asked her if she wanted to go back to third grade, she said definately no! so no biggie. I think it's important that they are not bored in school.

Just think if you send her early to kindergarten, she will be young for middle school, for high school, and for college. Do you really want your daughter making decisions about drugs, alcohol, and sex a year early? Two of my four kids had borderline birthdays, none of them have regretted being older in their class.

A couple of thoughts I haven't seen mentioned yet. I have a profoundly gifted child that attended K & 1st grade at a public school. I have more information on educating gifted kids than I ever thought I had. I never knew my child was different until he attended public school. I think this decision really depends on many factors - your child, the school, the teacher, and the peer group. My son also had an Oct birthday for a Sept cutoff.

If you haven't had assessments done, many school districts require kids to be way, way ahead to start early. My 3rd grader is doing pre-algebra/algebra now and reading at a high school level. But I'm not sure he would have passed the assessments required to start kindergarten early. Also, look at the other kids. We live in a high GT district where a good percentage of K kids were reading. And a high hold back district. Where the average age of a kindergartener was high. There were a couple very smart late birthday kids that really struggled socially in my son's K class. To me, our all day K really was 1st grade. But it was a more open ended fun first grade that was better able to accommodate kids at many levels. Our teacher always had tricks up his sleeve to engage the brightest kids. Where our first grade teacher was very much teaching right to grade level.

The other thing I was going to say about very gifted children, is there is no perfect solution. After 2 years of public school, it was clear to us that even though my son very much enjoyed school socially, he was learning nothing academically. But bumping him up a grade or even 2, wouldn't have helped much with academics. It still would have been too slow paced and not deep enough to engage him. And socially it would have hurt him, and he wouldn't have enjoyed the additional work load. We decided to homeschool him. If you are enjoying having your daughter at home, keep her at home another year. GT kids can learn so much on their own. If you need to reevaluate later, you could push for a grade skip. Or you might look at different solutions. Look at all your options! Sometimes you need to think outside the box depending on your child.

My Daughter started Kindergarten when she was 4... and turned 5 about 3 months after starting. She is born late.
She was perfectly fine.
She had 1 year of Preschool prior, and her Teachers said she was READY for Kindergarten. She is also mature and loved learning and was on par for her age. So it was fine.

I see no pro's or con's... because it depends on the child. There were other kids in my daughter's class as well, that was her same age and starting Kindergarten. She was not the only one. It was fine.And my Daughter was fine and excited to go to Kinder.

All the best,
Susan

I faced this decision with my oldest daughter - even though she was the very youngest in her class, WITHOUT sending her a year early (July b'day), it was discussed as to whether or not to send her to K a year early (she would have just turned 4). She was "mature" for her age and academically ready. I did make the decision not to send her and it ended up being the right decision for our family. She was ahead of her peers for most of her schooling, but in high school she was able to take AP classes and get a jump on college (she graduates from UW Madison this year at the age of 21 with a double major). My main reason for making the decision I did was because I graduated 2 years early and regret it today. I missed out on so much fun stuff because I was younger than everyone else (who wants to take a 15 yr old to senior prom?) and I didn't really have a good group of friends in high school because of the age difference. I didn't fit in with the kids my age because I wasn't in the same classes and I didn't fit in with my class because of the age difference (I couldn't even get my driver's license until my senior year). Because my daughter was ahead of most of her peers academically, she got to do alot of other stuff like spend extra time in extra activities and even did a year of college abroad her junior year of high school.

I think that no matter what, you will make the best decision for your family and maybe if I HAD sent her, I would be saying that it was the best decision I made as well :)

Good luck and congrats on being the mom of such a bright kid!

She is not that far off the date anyway. The whole trend to hold kids back is really not a good one anyway. I would send her if they will let you.

M.

I faced similiar decisions with both of my boys, and both of them ended up starting kindergarten shortly after they turned 6. There is no "right answer" that anyone can give you since each child is different. However, please keep in mind that the social and emotional aspects of starting school and the social and emotional skills that they learn in kindergarten are just as important as the intellectual and academic considerations. Both of my boys would have been ready for kindergarten academically at age 4 or 5, but were not ready socially or emotionally. They are now in 4th and 7th grades and excelling both academically and socially. Boredom has not been a problem because our school has a gifted and talented program that they participate in. Good luck making the best decision for your daughter. You just need to evaluate the maturity of your child; I have noticed through my volunteering at school that girls generally tend to mature earlier (not just physically) than the boys do. I did a lot of research before we made our decisions, and you can even meet with the staff and administrators at the school your daughter would attend. I did that.

this happened to my niece. She went to a daycare starting at 2 yrs old. They also offered kindergarten. The teachers encouraged my sis to start her in kindergarten at 4 & she did well. My niece also has a November birthday. Well kindergarten thru 2nd grade went real well & my niece excelled. But then came 3rd grade were the age difference was very noticable not only physically but mentally. My sis wanted to hold her back as she started to show signs of not being academically progressing as well anymore. But the school frowned on holding her back & told my sis that this stage will pass. Well fast forward to now, she is 13 & in 8th grade, next year high school. There is not one day that goes by that my sis regrets listening to others. This has had such a negative impact on my niece. The maturity level of these older girls, some up to a 2 yr age difference, is so large that my niece is constantly taunted & doesn't know how to handle situations. And to top it off her academics are not doing well anymore she is getting worse grades & has to work so much harder. My sis won't let her hang out with girls in her grade because they know to much & mentally on a different page than my niece.

Typically kindergarten thru 2nd grade seems to be the "easy" or not as challenging times in childrens schooling but 3rd grade & up are much more trying on all levels. So why rush it. If she is truly advanced let her skip a grade or go into AP classes when she's older. My friends son was doing multiplication at 4 yrs old but she found other solutions to keep him going & he's only in 1st grade now so she works with him on his advanced math skills. Just because she is going to be bored isn't a good enough reason in my book, kids that get pushed into school earlier should really show advanced skills in academics. Good luck with your decision for your daughter.

Please think twice about starting your child too early in Kindergarten, I started mine at 4 and why academically he could handle to work he wasn't socially developed to interact with children who were 5/6. Let her be age 4 and don't push into a situation where she will be socially hard at.

My daughter has a November birthday and started K at age 4 (our cutoff is 12/31). She was completely ready socially, acedmically, and emotionally. I knew that if I held her back, she would be bored.

When she was in 1st & 2nd grade she had some difficulty with reading and fell slightly behind, but by 4th grade she was amoung the top 5 (out of 65) and still is in the top 5. (she's in 8th grade now)

It was slightly ackward in the early grades with all the birthday parties. She had just turned 6 and was being invited several classmates parties where the kids were turning 8. Other than that no problems.

Would I do it again... Absolutely!

your concerns really mirror mine! my daughter turns 5 in august in time for starting kindergarten. so i thought great...off to school! but the teacher commented on the social aspect down the road and got me all nervous and it started me questioning a bunch of other moms.

the one thing i came out thinking was finally being confident in how well i know my child. she is only in preschool for 3 hours twice a week. she is with me the rest of the time. and just like you said, i KNOW my daughter would be bored in one more year of preschool. i wouldn't go as far as saying she is super advanced, but definately a confident well adjusted child, that has been able to keep up with the curriculum just fine.

another thing i have heard from moms that had both girls and boys was that their girls did better going forward earlier..they mature quicker than boys. one mom had 4 kids and kept one son back, and let her other son go early...it really shows that it's a child by child case and noone knows their child better than you. good luck in what you decide. she will do fine no matter what you do. we stress about way too much and it will all be fine i am sure! haha

My daughter also has an early Nov. birthday. She has been very bright and talked at 12 months. (Not sentances! ;-)) I was concerned she would be bored if we waited until she was nearly 6 to start school. But, I'm glad I did. I see a lot of her friends that turned 5 late in the summer. Some of them are struggling with reading and socially. All the teachers told me to wait -- and she would be fine. And, she is. She reads chapter books and is in the 1st grade. I put her in a 5- year old old pre-school class and she still had plenty to learn. I have another friend with also a very bright girl and a late birthday in Sept. They did not push her to go early, and she is doing great in school.

My answer is DON'T!!!! I had the option of starting my daughter in school early, she is 11 right now and is going to be taking an IQ test because she rates high on that end of things. . . she is the smartest in her class; however, socially, I am sooooo thankful I didn't. I do know people that have done it; however, socially it never turns out good. They just can't be at the same level socially as other kids and unless you want your daughter to 'grow up' all too quickly and be peer pressured into things that she can't have and wants really bad and more than likely would either rebel and hang out with the older kids or be the one that no one likes because they are so smart, I would just say keep her in her actual age category. When they are in school, they do get bored. My daughter can make up a weeks worth of homework in one day at school, and she does get bored; however, if your school has an accellerated curriculum, or even a "gifted" program I wouldn't feel she is missing out. Another thing is, if she was with her actual age group and stayed ahead of the learning curve all the way through school, she, as my daughter is, would be a perfect candidate for the foreign exchange program, which is an EXCELLENT opportunity. and then when they come back, they usually have to make up the year that they missed; however, being at the top of the learning curve, she would be able to test out of taking that year and still graduate with her class, and have that experience of a lifetime! Whatever your choice is, good luck with it!

Hi H.,
my son is now in the 2nd grade. He didnt start kindergarten early, but he was skipped to the 2nd grade october 2009. As a parent you know whats best for your child, if you feel asthough the work is not challenging enough then do everything in your power to continue to have your child challenged. Even if that means moving up a grade. My son would come home everyday and zip through his homeowork when he was in the 1st grade. Eventhough he still finishes is homework kind of quick i can see his teacher works with him on his level. He's reading in a 4th grade reading level, and 3rd grade math. Holding your child back will only hinder his/her further developments. You will hear so many mixed views, I personally feel holding a child back will make them regress eventually. when a child is smart/gifted theres nothing you can do to stop that, so encouraging that child as much as possible is the best thing to do. In my case my son was becoming so bored with school and homework because he knew everything the teacher was teaching. The teacher told me he already knew everything she was gonna teach in the school year. He was so bored he was getting into trouble. Follow your heart H., it will never lead you wrong:) hope this helps.

That's great that your district allows that. I'm not sure any schools in Texas do, but I wished they did. My son's birthday is October, so he also misses the cutoff date. I don't feel like he will need that extra year before starting kindergarten, but I guess we don't have a choice.

Have you asked your daughter how she feels? Does she have any "older" friends that she plays with and interacts well with? Does she know the stuff needed to enter kindergarten? Only you know what is the best fit for your daughter. My daughter is one of the younger ones in her preschool class, but because she is caught up or ahead in most of the academic areas we were given the choice of young fours or older fours next year. Not a lot of difference except the kids are typically a little older in one and the class is a little more structured. However, the teachers all teach every individual student from his/her own level. The child is always taught from the point they are currently at. I chose younger 4s because I thought that would be a better fit for my daughter, but I know that her learning will continue to grow.

Good luck with your decision! That's a tough one.

This really is a tough decision, and one we've faced with our older daughters and will most likely face with the third as well. Academically, they are very advanced, but we made the decision to wait for both of them for the social reasons. My oldest needed to develop more confidence and the second more self-control. I definitely worried about them being bored in school though. We do struggle with making sure they are learning and not bored, but we still feel it was the right choice. Kids really can be mean, and as someone else mentioned the "mean girl" behavior starts very young (definitely by 2nd grade if not before). We try to supplement at home with additional learning opportunities, but we also remember that there are many more skills and things they should be trying out as a kid as well.

Things I would (and did) consider when making the decision:

1) What is the trend where your daughter would be going to school? If more kids are on the older side, then going early can mean almost a 2-year age difference between your daughter and some of her peers.

2) Even if you think she'd do fine socially now, try to picture what it might look like in the future. Would you be comfortable with a 14-year old daughter hanging out with friends who are closer to 16?

3) What is the kindergarten program at your school like? Half-day and more play and social skill heavy? Or full-day and/or mainly academic? Ours is full-day and academic, so that made it easier to wait.

4) What options are available at the school (or in the area) to meet the needs of academically gifted students? Many schools do have programs in place to help with this.

Best of luck with your decision.

Find out if the school has a gifted program. They usually assess the kids and put them in those if they're too advanced in a certain subject while keeping them with the same aged kids. There's more to school than academics like social interactions etc.
Regards,
A.

I wouldn't do it. Here's why, my daughter turned 5 on August 8th, and started kindergarten that year on August 12th. Everything's turned out fine, but that's because she catches up with the other kids before school year starts. During the school year, she notices how all the other kids are turning a year older, and it sometimes bothers her. If your kid celebrates her birthday at school like all the other kids, she'll say how old she's turning, and the other kids are going to think it's weird. My kindergartener was just saying that one of the girls in his class is only "5" and isn't getting ready to turn 6 until August. I know the girl, and her birthday is August 4th. So, if they're a birthday like that, it's okay since they're still the same age as many of the other students for part of the year, and when the other students start becoming one year older, it's noticed, but not as big of a deal to their friends. If other kids are turning 6 during kindergarten though, and your daughter is only turning 5, I'd be afraid of the social aspects, especially once she hits 2nd grade on up and kids really get a lot meaner, especially the girls. You greatly risk her being called a baby and certain types of girls not wanting to be friends with her. Sad, yes....but reality. And trust me, it DOES start that early with girls. I was amazed when my daughter was in kindergarten how many girls were already mean and more like teenagers. So, yes, she may seem ready academically, but for her sake, I'd wait. If it helps, my son is in kindergarten, and was in preschool for 2 years. he knew math, spelling, and all the states and capitals before he started kindergarten, and I worried a little, but he's not been acting up, not bored, and LOVES school. That second year in preschool, sure he knew everything they were learning, but he didn't ever complain of school being boring. He turned 6 in December. So, I've dealt with your situation, just divided between two kids, and I really truly think that you'll regret sending her early. Just think down the road, she'll be turning 16 during her senior year if I did the math right. And the thing is, school is not only about academics when they in kindergarten and first grade. It's about having the maturity of being able to follow directions, sit quietly and work, and be willing to learn new things. My daughter struggled with paying attention during kindergarten and she was 9 months older than your daughter, and also very smart. The girl my son talked about whose bday is August 4th is always getting in trouble about not listening and talking. She's just not as mature as the other kids in the class. So, academically your daughter may be ready, but chances are, not socially. If you ask kindergarten teachers, you'll be surprised at how they wish more parents with kids that have late birthdays, like July and August ones would have their kids wait a year before starting kindergarten. I found that out AFTER I put my daughter in, and honestly probably would've had her wait. Thank goodness she's doing find though now

We did start our daughter young and wish I could go back in time knowing what I know now. My daughter could read at age 4 very well and anything that was read to her she remembered and relayed to her teaches. They all thought she was a genius! Now in high school-she gets a straight 4.0. But, socially she struggles with things that she shouldn't have to worry about for another year or two (or really ever). All her best friends are 1 and 2 years younger than her. Even sending her young she was ahead of her peers and had to find ways to keep busy while waiting for others to finish their work. Academically she would have been the same-socially and emotionally she would have been on the same playing field as her classmates. Please consider waiting.