Feel Guilty Re:latching Issues.

I don't think that breastmilk from a bottle is inferior to BM from the breast. The only thing I can think of is that it's harder for them to suck from the breast and that is supposed to help keep their Eustachian tubes clearer, thus less ear infections. Yet there are many bottle fed babies that did not get lots of ear infections.

I say let go of the guilt but keep trying and see what happens.

If you haven't contacted a lactation consultant, please do. They can be lifesavers. I needed one to help me. While breastfeeding is NATURAL, it's not always easy. A Lactation consultant can help you figure out what the problem might be with the latch and how to fix it.

If you can't breastfeed but can pump, that's totally fine. Take care!

Why feel guilty? Look, I know there's a non-stop mantra of "breast is best," and I suppose that if breastfeeding comes easily to you and your baby, then breast is best. But when you're having trouble, it's painful, baby isn't getting enough to eat, etc, then breast isn't best. I mean, seriously! The point is to feed your baby so she's full and can do all the growing that she needs to do.

Babies who are totally formula-fed are no worse off than those who are totally breast-fed. (Disclosure: both of my daughters were exclusively breastfed for the first 5-6 months, but it came easily to us, so we were lucky.) I read a study (peer-reviewed) recently where they actually found that the benefits of breastfeeding have been vastly over-stated. There's a small benefit in terms of short-term health (ear infections and the like), but long-term, there's no benefit one way or the other. I know the La Leche moms on here will go absolutely nuts reading that, and I'll admit I was quite shocked to read it as well, but you can't really argue with scientific fact.

Anyway, the point is, you're feeding your daughter breastmilk, so ultimately, she will receive whatever benefits that may give her (it makes no difference whatsoever if you feed her breastmilk from your breast or from a bottle). And if you switch to formula, she will be absolutely fine doing that as well. She may be fine going back to breastfeeding after having been bottle fed - we did both (I worked full-time). Please, stop feeling guilty about this. There is no reason to feel guilty. You are doing a great job.

Ditto what Catherine C said.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You're feeding your daughter. You're loving your daughter. NOTHING else matters.

Hey Mom! Don't forget your emotions are on high because your hormones are pumping right now. You are doing an awesome job, because you are doing all that you can for what is best for your baby. First get some lanolin cream aka nipple cream ASAP! I am a mother of 5 and for whatever reason baby #5 could not latch on properly on his own, The result tore up nipples and a not happy mom or baby. ps The size of your nipples does not matter, the baby only latches on to the nipple (the raised part in the middle, not the aereola (the darker circle which can get quite large after multiple babies or the larger your breasts get- mine were scary big lol) ok so back to the cream, that will feel like heaven right now and help to heal your nipples, which are probably cracking even more because of the pumping Whenever you pump or breastfeed express a bit of milk and rub some on your nipples it has natural healing properties that will also help heal the cracks and when finished put on the cream.

You also need to see a REAL lactation consultant. Not sure which hospital you had your daughter, but the Florida Hospital on Lakemont in Winter Park has a lactation center open to everyone (The Breastfeeding Support Line ###-###-#### or 800-523-8941) and they were extremely helpful to me. I had to see a specialist and they actually did some mouth movement exercises with my son at about 2-3wks old! My husband thought she was nuts, but it worked!!! My little one was doing something with his mouth so he wasnt latching on properly. You know as a mom of 3 now that each of these kids are so different so you are just getting started! So not your fault at all mom just find someone who knows and they can help you get her latching on. You can also contact la leche league they have consultants who can help also - http://www.llli.org/web/florida.html

If for whatever reason she cant breastfeed, know that pumping is still better than formula, and you are working twice as hard to get her fed so dont feel guilty! We can only do they best we can, so dont let this get in the way of enjoying your daughter and connecting with her you know how fast they get big!!

Best of luck to you and your family mom!
A.

Please don't feel guilty. My first child would NOT latch (somehow my nipples became flat and he just wouldn't take it) - after the whole 5 days (C-Section) in the hospital trying and having an extremely agitated child I sent my husband to Babies R Us with a copy of our baby shower registry and told him to get the breast pump (the only thing we didn't get - but, who buys someone a breastpump anyway)..........I felt awful and for two weeks everyday I'd try and it just kept breaking my heart. I gave up trying as he was happy drinking my milk.
I started pumping - a lot - and when I went back to work (he was 3 months then) my whole deep freeze was full of pumped milk!

Best of luck to you - I know you feel bad but honestly, don't beat yourself up anymore.

sounds like your nipples could use some purified lanolin and a nipple shield til they heal. talk with your pediatricians office and they may be able to supply you with both of those. i got mine thru the WIC program. i was going to consult with a lactation expert, but the lady at WIC was so helpful and her suggestions all worked so i never had to. think about contacting a lactation expert. the quality of your breastmilk is unaffected by being put in a bottle. i think that when people say bottle vs breast they really mean formula vs breast. my son wouldnt open his mouth wide enough to get a good latch, so i was told to pull down a little under his lower lip as he started to latch and it really helped to open his mouth wide enough. good luck!

I'm sorry this is happening...

But... just realize, you ARE feeding your daughter... sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work out... don't feel guilty about it... just do what is BEST for your daughter, ultimately.

Anyway, also... check and make sure there isn't a tongue-tie issue? When my grandson was born, we thought his tongue was "cute" ... there was what seemed to be a little dimple in the tip...... no one ever said anything about it... (when he tried to stick his tongue out, instead of being rounded, it indented in a bit... )

Anyway, my daughter had a lot of problems breastfeeding him, and finally gave up and went to formula.....

Many months later, we started asking questions, and researching it... and took him to a pediatric dentist... and yep.... it was a bit of a tongue tie! They didn't want to do anything about it then, but decided to wait a couple of years.... we don't know for sure if it affected his speech.... When they checked it at age 3, they felt it had stretched enough.....

but... I wonder if her breastfeeding problems would have gone away if it had been noticed in the hospital and clipped then?

Definitely look for another lactation consultant. In the meantime, try to breastfeed her as much as possible. It can be harder for her to go back to breast if u are exclusively feeding her from a bottle right now, because of nipple confusion (you probably know all this already). With my first, i had HUGE latching issues and i was in SOOOO much pain for the first 3 months. There were several times i almost quit cause i just couldn't stand it, but guilt made me persevere. I pumped a lot, but i also made sure to breastfeed her too. If i found that she wasn't satisfied after nursing (or if i just couldnt handle the pain), then i would give her a pumped bottle. And no, the quality of the milk will not differ if pumped. Also, maybe try to pump a little bit before you offer the breast; it's possible that you are just too engorged for her to latch properly. I had to do this with my first and second baby on occasion. Keep tryin, mama. Hope it works out for you and your little one. I know how frustrating it can be, but it is sooo worth the fight, as you know. And like i and others have already said, please, please, please find another lactation consultant!! The right person will spend a good amount of time with you, and actually help you get the baby to latch right and go through different positions with you and the baby.

I'd say see a lactation consultant. Breast milk from a bottle is fine, but is sure a lot more work and much less convenient for you!

Breastfeeding concerns can be so overwhelming,especially when your hormones are raging. After easy latching with my first two babies I wasn't prepared for problems with my third. It was very painful for me for about six weeks. After that it has been wonderful. I would contact a lactation consultant asap. It stinks that the one in the hospital wasn't much help. There are different positions and tricks they can show you to help. I found that pumping actually made my nipples huge which made latching more difficult. With a bit of time and expert help things should improve greatly. The early weeks can be so difficult. Don't beat yourself up. Pumping is a lot of work that you have choosen so that you can provide your baby with the best nutrition. Pumped breastmilk is extremely nutritious. The difference is that when a baby nurses from your breast the composition of the milk changes with the needs of your baby. Do not feel guilty. You are doing the best you can for your baby.

You poor thing, I feel your pain. I had bleeding & cracked nipples with my second & it was horrible! First, don't feel guilty. Decide how important nursing is to you. Contact a lactation consultant ( maybe a few). I had to " baby" my nipples for a while & change nursing positions. We finally worked through it & I was able to continue nursing. Just do what you can , without stressing yourself out. Anything you choose, your baby will be fine.

My first baby took to nursing like a champ too. But I had to use a nipple shield with my boys because my nipples are large and go flat making it hard for them to latch. Get with a lactation consultant as soon as you can or call the hospital you delivered at and ask about using one.

Get a new lactation consultant ASAP! The longer baby goes without taking the breast, the harder it will be for you to keep up milk production and to get baby to take the breast. I had a terrible experience with the lactation consultant in the hospital where I had my first baby. With my 2nd, it was a great experience.

It sounds like you need to find an experienced lacatation consultant to help you find positions that will work for you and baby. You might also need a nipple shield or something else to help your nipples heal while you work on new positioning. Go here to find a lactation consultant and have one come to your home today to work on positioning, etc. Click on find a lactation consultant on the bottom middle of the page: http://www.ilca.org

You know how much easier it is to nurse than to pump and then feed pumped milk - do this so that it will be easier in the future. I pumped and then fed breastmilk to my #1 for a year and swore I wouldn't do it again - I am certain that our latch issues prevented us from nursing. #2 nursed on the table (emergency c-section) while I was being sewed up and thanks to lots of help from awesome lactation consultants, nursed until he weaned himself at 14 months!

Best wishes to you and your baby! C.

I'd call la leche league & ask for help. They'll be able to fix things for you.

My third child has issues breastfeeding too. Pumping is never as efficient as breastfeeding so your breast will be bigger because its not emptying all the way. My kids latched on even during the engorging stage and I bet the same was true for your first two kids.

Thinking back, I think with two successful kids I got lazy on proper latching, I took it for granted but when one nipple bled from biting, I could only feed one breast and express the other until healed. After that, I was careful to force a good latch and unlatched if it was wrong. It's hard because once baby starts going, you don't want to disrupt it but its better baby gets it right. You'll feel better, baby feels better and you're breast will drain better. Size of nipple or breast are no excuses. Don't let someone tell you your breast are the wrong anything. If our breast were supposed to be a certain average way, the human race would not survive.

Ever try asking the hospital lactation expert for help? I didn't but gosh did I force my kids to breastfeed. No way was I going to wash hundreds of bottles each day! Laziness... yeah, I just admitted it. =)