Fear of Dogs

I would suggest- To try to keep him away from dogs, people have all kinds of phobias for unknown reasons. It sounds like he is terified of any dog. Ask his doctor for advice.He may out grow it on his own if given time.( If the homes you visit are not willing to put the dogs some place out of his sight -then they really don't want you to visit) good luck

Hi A.,

Something I learned years ago some children are terrified of what they don't understand and when animal are so close to their height and there face can reach theirs, its kinda scary. Kinda like a dinosaur with teeth so big and tall compared to a human. Facing their fears is good in small steps. Letting them know its okay and as they get older you can go into more things. Its harder on children when they are not around animals all the time, its not part of their world and when an animals come around it messes with their space and they are not sure how to deal with it. That's why they want to climb up your leg and get as high as they can on your shoulder. First step is the comfort zone you as mom and dad have to let them know its okay and start off with 1 animal, preferably a small puppy, one is enough at first. Let him get use to it just being around and let him see you love and pet on it. When you get to that part and he knows its okay you will know what to do next. Remember never to force him to pet the puppy let him do it on his own. When he sees you doing it and the puppy is okay and he isn't going to eat anyone he will see then. Time and patients. When he does pet the puppy reward your son for petting him that way he knows he did a good thing it will help ease the situation and he will feel like a big boy. Gummy bears always worked for us. Good Luck!

There must have been some kind of experience that your son had, maybe a cartoon or even a casual conversation he may have heard by friends or family that somehow upset him. Whatever the cause, he really needs time to work it out. My friends husband, who is a 65 year old retired English teacher, will still not tolerate a dog around him because of his childhood experience of being chased and bitten by one. Your son may even have overheard one of the news programs relating a dog attack. The best way to overcome a fear is to do research and learn all about the subject so as to be better prepared to handle it. He isn't too young to learn specifics of the different breeds and which are best for families, service, and police work, etc. I know having a dog is like having another child, but it may be worthwhile for your son to have a small one of his own, just don't expect him to do all the work. Summer is the best time to adopt one. Meanwhile, have him visit one of your trusted friends with a small friendly dog and you all spend time with the dog together. The whole family could also volunteer at the humane society. Dog walking is always needed. Of course I would recommend staying away from any aggresive or large breeds. Small dogs are easier to clean up after and maintain. We all need to have a healthy respect for what could be a danger to child and adult alike. Best Wishes for your family.

A.,
Mom of 4 grown kids(30, 26, 22,and 17.)

Our neighbors were all scared of dogs. There kids 10,8,and 4. The mother was scared of dogs too. When we would go on walks together she would totally freak if a dog was comming to us. I would have to yell and stomp or clap and scream at them to go away no matter how freindly the dog was. The oldest boy ran away screaming from a poodle!!!! They would climb the couches at our house because of our english bull dog which is very friendly and would back off if you tell her no. They had problems with this till they got there own. I see you dont really want a dog and thats fine. Perhaps you have a friend with a great dog that they wouldnt mind you keeping for a couple of weeks. Then after that even if the boy is still scared take the dog back. Then perhaps on a weekend you bring the dog back for a while. Basically have the dog around so he wont be scared of him. I dont want your kid to be freaked out but truly he is freaking out over nothing and its something you are trying to break. I say break this habbit and bring a dog into your household. Teach him about dogs. Start off with books and movies about dogs. Dogs arent bad but you could get bit if you dont treat them good. Has he ever been attacked? Are you sure? Hope he gets over this and learns to love mans best friend.

Hi A.,

My oldest daughter was the same way. Terrified was the word to describe her. Like your son, there was no incident to cause her fear. She has grown out of it (she is 11 now) but it was very stressful when she was younger. We have a family member who has a "dog child" and they simply could not understand her fear and would be a bit offended when we asked them to put the dog away. Not fun around the holidays! The turning point came when she was around seven or eight. We have some friends who have horses. My daughter went over several times and helped groom and walk the horses, gradually building up to riding. I'm not sure how or why but this gave her more confidence and helped her get past her fear of dogs (maybe because the horses were so much bigger?). But the bottom line is...she's over it now. I wouldn't force him to approach a dog though. We would just talk about it from a distance and then she would decide if she wanted to pet the dog. What a funny tail or look how fluffy that one is or why is he so wiggly...those kinds of conversations stimulated her interest and curiousity. Good luck.

Dear A., hate to be the barrer of bad news but my daughter has the same kind of reaction to dogs and has had since about 2 3yrs old. she is now 30 almost 31 and has the same reaction now as then. tried every thing even had a dog and that didn't work but she did learn that not all dogs will hurt or harm you she is still leary around dogs but has learned to deal with them better,

A couple of ideas: find some books about dogs to read to him or some movies to watch with him - such as Beethoven I and II, so maybe they won't seem so ominous. Does he say WHY he is scared of them? You could also take him to a pet store where the dogs are in the cages / behind glass so he can see that they won't hurt you. I am sure he will eventually come around...hopefully it is just a stage that he is going through. Good luck!

hmmm, where do you live? I have a VERY gently large dog. You are welcome to come visit her to try and get acclimated to a child friendly dog who is pretty much in a coma all day long!! LOL. My DH used to have that same fear. He'd cling to me when the littlest dog came around. Then I made him get a dog and go through dog training. We got our first greyhound. Sadly, he had been mistreated and and oftenhad aggression issues but DH was cool about and now is no longer afraid of dogs. I am not rec that you get a dog, but that is what worked for my 30 soemthing year old husband. Anyway, you are welcome to come visit my very cat like dog any time to help your son get acclimated, slowly.

Sounds like you are doing good things to help him. I would continue them. But, I would also add: you need to sit down and play with a puppy or dog. Let the dog lick you and love on you. Pretend, at least, to thoroughly enjoy it! If he sees how much fun you're having (you may have to do this several times to convince him) and that you are fine and not scared, he will eventually come around. He may never love dogs, but he will not freak out so much. He may even get to love dogs. My 5 year old was this way. He is still a very timid young boy, but he handles dogs and other animals soooo much better now (he used to just scream, etc). But, he needs that reassurance of me not being afraid either. It takes him awhile, but he eventually comes around. It took several trips to the zoo and I never made him pet the goats. I couldn't even get him to go into the gate. But, he now pets the goats. He sees how much I "enjoy" it and though it took several trips, he now wants to do it too. He also asked for a puppy for his birthday last year. He picked the calmest, smallest, quietest one he could find. He would scream at the normal puppies. He got used to his own puppy. He now takes charge of the dog when I need him to (like catching him, holding him, etc.). And this dog became a normal puppy after a few days. It's amazing, complete turnaround from before. He is still timid and scared of other things as well as some other dogs, but we've gotten better about dogs as long as he feels safe.

Continuing to increase exposure to dogs may help. Show him any fun he may be missing out of and maybe one day this may overcome his fears. Find a loving and energetic puppy in the neighborhood, from family, etc. Play with the pup, roll around with him, let it chase you. Let your son watch you as you are all laughing, playing and letting the pup lick you...u know, a Hallmark moment. FYI, my daughter has dealt with a phobia against loud noises. It hurts me as a parent that she would fear something so much. She even feared fireworks. She would run from the source and cover her ears when she was younger as if a bomb was about to explode. She is now 10. It does not affect her to nearly that degree, but she still anticipates noises and covers her ears. I hope that as your son gets older and begins to realize the fun he may be missing out on, he may decide to begin to trust dogs. I believe that is what helped my daughter. Good luck

A.,

I am a Mother who also takes charge of fears to get my kids through them! I believe in de-sensitization or confronting your fears.

There was a picture of a vampire bat in one of our volumes of the children's encyclopedia. It was bearing its teeth and my little girl would scream and run away from the book every time. I sat her in my lap and held my hands over all but the eyes and said, "see, that's not scary." I would do the same thing for each part of the face "see his little piggy nose?" "See his fuzzy ears?" Once she got de-sensitized to the parts of the picture, I showed her a few together until we got to the whole picture. I also told her that he was laughing really big (instead of screaming like it looked).

OK point is that de-sensitization with dogs is the same way. Get a picture book, or get online and look at different pictures of dogs. Get some really funny-looking ones of chihuauas and some St. Bernards. Talk about the different breeds...Shitzus came from China, Afghan hounds from Afghanistan...etc. Ask him what his favorite one is. Tell him how dogs get to know each other...by sniffing. That they can tell who you are by the special way you smell. (my kids can smell if something came from a neighbor's house and can tell me which neighbor, ask you son if he has any friends who have a special smell.) Laugh about how dogs smell each other's bottoms when they meet, ask how he would like to have to smell someone's bottom when he met them. The more you can get him to laugh and identify with dog-related issues, the better he will get. He can even pretend to be a dog...make some paper ears and make a headband. Paint his face to look like a dog. Get a large picture of a dog and talk about the parts of a dog. Tell your son that when he meets a dog, he has to pretend he is a dog. Teach him to make a fist that looks like a paw and have him show it to the dog so he can get smelled. It may still take a lot of coaxing, but I think it will work for him and he may be a bit excited to meet a dog once he knows how.

NOTE: it is still ok for him to have, and you should encourage, a healthy fear of dogs. Your son should never touch or "meet" a dog without asking the owners first. Tell him that dogs are like people, many are really nice, but some may be grumpy or in a bad mood and not want to be met. My neighbors had a dog that was "really gentle" and had "never bitten anyone." This was not an awful lot of consolation to me as I stood in the bathroom looking at my cheek where the doberman caused a 14-stich hole. I had just been sitting with my friend in their living room watching tv, petting the dog. Anyway, good luck and have fun.

I think having fears at this age is totally normal! what might help is if you can find a person with a TOTALLY well-trained, calm dog and see if they can help you out. it would have to be done in small steps. I'd say first, your son could watch the dog out a window while it is playing in the yard. talk him through it...ask if he's scared, and then WHY he's scared ("what do you think the dog will do to you?") and while you watch the dog together, say things like "look how silly that dog is!" "what a happy dog!"...all extremely positive. after he has done that on several occasions and seems to not have anxiety in that situation, tell him "now we are ready to pet the dog!" make sure the owner has the dog laying down (this is where the well-trained part comes into play), the dog should be totally calm, not wanting to lick your son or even pay him much attention. make sure the dog is on a leash and explain to your son that the owner has the leash just in case the dog gets too excited. then your son can hopefully feel comfortable enough to go sit next to the dog and even if he doesn't pet him yet, getting that close would be an accomplishment! let him work his way up to petting the dog, even if it takes a few times of just sitting next to it. let him see you pet it and that the dog won't lick him or nudge him. once he feels comfortable being that close to the dog, have the owner help him "walk" the dog around the yard. this has been our biggest asset in getting our kids to be comfortable with our dogs! have the owner hold the end of the leash and let your son hold the middle part and tell him that HE is in charge of the dog and the dog has to go anywhere your son wants! he should feel empowered knowing he is telling the dog just where to go. once he has come that far, he can interact with the dog more by doing things like telling the dog to sit and/or lay down and give the dog a treat. let him play fetch with the dog and run around with the dog. when he feels comfortable with that one dog, then you can teach him how to approach other dogs. if you don't know the proper way to approach dogs, watch Cesar Milan's the Dog Whisperer show (don't let your son watch though, as the dogs Cesar works with usually are out of control at first!) then when your son goes to a friend's house and you know they have dogs, talk to the parents first and let them know your son is getting over a fear of dogs. if they think their dog will jump or lick or get too excited, ask that they leave their dog outside while your son is there. If their dog is calm and well-trained, then ask if they would make their dog lay down and be on a leash when your son first meets the dog
I know this was long, but I hope it has helped! My mom and sister were always scared of dogs and I was not very comfortable with most until a few years ago when my hubby talked me into getting one! We now have 3 large dogs and I'm so glad he talked me into that first one, b/c I feel so much more comfortable and informed around all dogs now, and I've watched lots of shows and read lots of info about them, and I love that my kids will grow up knowing how to interact with dogs and how enjoyable they can be!

My middle daughter was just like your son. Terrified of dogs - to the point that I was convienced that she'd never want a dog around her and knew I was in trouble because my oldest daughter is just like me and my husband - loves them all. In fact, my oldest knows where everything is at the vets and wants to be one so to have a child that was terrified of an animal drove me crazy. However, I refused to give up. I just kept taking her around them and we usually had a dog in the house, which she just ignored. When our Shar-Pei was put to sleep because of health reasons and we were without a dog for a while, she was the first one to ask if they could have another one. In fact, she picked out our next dog and now we go places and it's a tie to see who is more into the animals - her or my oldest. Don't give up, just keep going slow and steady and he'll get over it. Don't force the issue either. A suggestion is to take him to Petco on weekends and see the animals because the dogs are allowed to walk around with leashes. Make sure he knows the proper way to approach a strange animal and just relax - if you are tense and waiting for the explosion - it's gonna happen. Think good thoughts and all the sudden it will be okay. Good luck and enjoy your little ones.