Here's my dilemma- a friend of mine who is a photographer has offered to take family photos for free, I'm super excited about it and already have a date set aside for this. Here's the thing my hubby has a older daughter from a previous relationship, His daughter rarely comes around. I can honestly say she comes maybe once out of the year ,if that. But she 20years old has a life of her own. No big deal but the relationship he has with her is not the greatest.
Here's my question; should I suggest to him to have her take pictures with us or should I just stay out of it ?
Because am planning on using these pictures for Christmas cards as well, I am really not sure on how I should handle this.
PS.
I have included her in family pictures before, But it turned out to be a disaster with her and dad arguing the whole time. Then the following year she said she didn't want to come and to just take them with out her.
Absolutely invite her, she's still part of the family, and then it's up to her to join you or decline.
She has made it clear that she isn't interested in repeating the previous experience, so let it go at that.
"sarah, we are taking family pictures with a photographer on May 1st. We would love for you to be with us. Please let me know if you can make it!"
Then she can decide if she wants to be in it or not.
L.
The right thing to do is to at least invite her and give her a choice.
At 20, she's still young. She's still your husband's daughter (always will be) and a part of the family.
Living with and dealing with divorced parents is not always easy. Let her know someone loves her.
Yes, she should be in your family pictures if she can be and she wants to. Tell dad not to argue with her. You can't argue with a young adult if you don't engage.
I think you should at least ask her. It would be nice if she and dad could eventually mend their relationship.
How nice of you to consider her.
You should definitely invite her to be in them, but don't do it with any hint of negativity in your invitation. She's still young, and probably needs an olive branch extended to her time and time again. You don't give up on your kids the way you can give up on extended family. Reach out to her. The worst she can say is, "No."
It seems as if she isn't into family pictures. However, if it were me, I think I'd invite her anyway: "Regina, I've made arrangements for family pictures to be taken in September. You haven't been enthusiastic in the past, I know, but if you have changed your thoughts about it, I'd love to have you in a picture. Would you let me know by the end of May, please? No pressure!"
If she gets along better with you than with her father right now, you do the inviting. If she participates, ask your photographer friend to take some pictures with her in the group, some without her in the group, and perhaps even some of her alone. (That would give you a Christmas present for her.)
Extend the invitation. If she does show up, make sure she has several pictures by herself as well as the group shots.
It's on her whether or not she shows. But she can't say she wasn't invited and fuel the flame.
Enjoy the pics. Let us know how all turns out.
the other S.
I would definately make every effort to include her in the pictures.
Ask him if he wants to call her. and then leave it in his court. but plan on with or without. I have family photo's with my husband daughter and also some without. not because she is a pain but because she lives in another state. My daughter is in some of our family photos but not all. she is older than the boys my husband and I had together. and the photos we have without her she always says things like "oh yeah those were the family photos without the whole family" (she was living in another state at the time) so I always let both girls his and mine know we are planning family photos and if they show great and if they don't oh well.
Of course! She's part of your family.
Talk with him and let him decide how to handle it.
Ask him, if he says ask her then do so. Make sure to get a good pic of you and hubby. Then really good one of each kiddo. Then when you do the card you can choose the one of you, the happy couple, and then add a circle below or surrounding you guys with your kids. I'd include her if she came though. I'd put her on the ones for his family and leave her off the ones for yours.
Let your husband decide this one. His daughter, his decision (and hers.)
I agree to extend the invitation. Just let her know 'hey, save the date - I'm planning on getting some family pictures taken, that I might use for the Christmas card on .... Let her decide if she wants to be part of it.
I wouldn't bother mentioning it. If your husband brings it up, address it then. But let him take the lead.
She doesn't live with you so she can send her own Christmas cards. She doesn't need to be "on" yours.
I think that you should always extend the invitation, even if you secretly wish that it will be declined. If this is a "family" "group" picture that will be shared with the masses, then she should be invited to participate.
Do you normally include her in the cards? If so, you should invite her to the photo session. If not, then ask yourself if she would be hurt by not being included. If she does her own thing and doesn't really speak with her dad more than a few times a year she probably won't care one way or another but give her the choice.
