My mother-in-law is turning 60 and there is a big family dinner at a fancy restaurant. They are leaving the timing up to me since we have a 7 month old baby. My choices are as follows:
1) force everyone to eat "early" at 6pm (they typically eat at 8pm) and bring a bottle for the baby, resulting in him being up later then his bedtime (7pm) because by the time we finish eating and drive back it could be 8pm or later - with the worst case scenario being that he gets so tired but is too overstimulated to fall asleep at the restaurant and crys/fusses a lot
or
2) do our regular bedtime routine (nurse, book, etc) and instead of putting him in the crib at 7pm, put him in his carseat with a blanket covering it and go eat at 8pm, hoping that he falls asleep on the way in the car and stays asleep while there - with the worst case scenario being that he wakes up right as we arrive
Any thoughts/suggestions on this issue? Any one else have experience with this? My son is a fairly light sleeper and is easily distracted when trying to fall asleep (meaning that he fights it if there is something holding his attention).
We just had the same dilema. Make the dinner around the your son's schedule. Our family dinner lasted over an hour and we ened up leaving early because our son was tired an started getting cranky. I told my husband if family dinners are before a certain time, we would opt out next time. It is better for him to keep his schedule.
I'm always a fan of the later dinner, and hiring a babysitter! You'll have more fun, and your son will never know you're gone since he will be asleep the whole time. There is nothing more miserable than trying to keep a tired baby happy and/or get an exhausted but wired baby to sleep, while you're trying to enjoy a nice dinner out. (And all the people in the family who tell you to bring the baby - are never the same people who are pacing back and forth in the lobby trying to get the baby to sleep as he's screaming!)
If a sitter is not an option, I'd say go earlier. If he's a light sleeper, he will not sleep through a party.
This is a no brainer... make it at 6pm. Your son comes first, and I'm sure the guests would much rather eat early than watch you deal with a tired overstimulated baby.
I thought the older you got the earlier you ate? I am only 41 and I would pass out waiting for an 8pm dinner ....LOL!
I dont think it would be "forcing" everyone to eat early, after all, going earlier would give everyone more time to be together, right? That being said, I would go early - and if he fusses just take turns walking him around outside.
We would go out to dinner all the time with babies (and still do with our 2 and 4 year olds) and most of the time it was fine but occasionally we would have to eat in shifts :)
if you go early you beat the date crowd and its less crowded too. Have fun!
Well you have gotten two different responses. Now what to do? First be relaxed. If you are relaxed then your baby be relaxed. Keep a go with the flow attitude and hopefully your baby will too will. Go early, take what you need to keep him busy. Put him in his car seat to sleep witha blanket. If he doesn't just take turns like the others said. This phase in your life will pass unless you're like me and have 7 kids. We go out now with them 13 to 6 months and the last two times have had complements on their behavior. It comes from training. Practice the senerio at home before the dinner a few times and he may surprise you that night. Good luck and enjoy the dinner.
Wow, you should feel lucky that your family has left this decision up to you. I am the only one in the family with a young child (he is almost 3 now, and we have another one on the way), and no one has ever considered how hard it will be for us to go out to eat! I used to be annoyed by this, but it has actually made my son extremely flexible. Even when he was a baby, he would adjust really well to whatever we were doing, no matter what time it was. For example, my sister's wedding was a week after my son's first birthday, and the wedding started at 6:30 pm! We didn't end up leaving until after midnight. My son was still nursing at the time, but he adjusted beautifully. He fell asleep at the reception (even though there was an extremely loud live band!), and he was just fine.
In my opinion, you have to just live your life and your kids will adjust. I am not saying to take your kids out til midnight every night, but if it has to happen they kids will be fine. No child has ever been permanently damaged by missing his/her bedtime for a special occasion!
LOL. There is no right answer to this one. First of all, your baby will be unpredictable. You have no idea how stimulated he will be with the voices, lights, and activity. When we had to take our son to a family wedding when he was 7 months, old, we just went with the knowledge that we would have to leave whenever he couldn't handle it any more. In general, people loved holding him and carrying him around. He hadn't hit separation anxiety yet, so he was okay with it. He had fallen asleep on the way to the reception, which we hadn't expected, so he slept through half of dinner.
I think whatever you choose is fine, BUT let the family know that you will leave if you deem that it is best for your son, and that you hope they will be understanding and enjoy themselves.
LOL Marieka!! This brings back so many memories!! When my oldest son was a baby, he was one that you had to put down in the crib and tiptoe out..and it wouldnt work.. he knew it and we were exhausted all the time!!!
So going to restaurants meant that while one parent held the baby, the other would eat, and then switch off. It worked until he was mobile..LOL. The sooner the better..and just do what we did and it seems to work. The thought of eating together was a treat!! You learn so much from the first one that you dont make the same mistakes with the second, third..etc.. We didnt hold our daughter, and 2nd son as much, and it worked much better. They still felt very loved..but werent attached 24/7 to moms unbilicus..LOL.
I hope this helps..and i know its tiring ;)
Take care,
K.
I personally believe that babies should learn some flexibility. More importantly, families and extended families need to learn flexibility. It can be a hard lesson for everyone, but it pays off in the end.
If you go with 8 pm, you will most likely deal with a cranky baby but two things can come of this that may actually surprise you.
1) Your son may adjust perfectly. He may be charming, social, and easy-going. You will wonder why he isn't awake every night at 8pm! :) Or,
2) Your son will be awful. You will be worried, nervous, attempting to keep him quiet but nothing is working. You will apologize profusely. You and Hubby will take turns walking him around the restaurant while the other snatches a bite to eat and desperately gulps wine. You will end up leaving early, telling everyone you just can't keep him up any later. Then your family will feel as though perhaps 8pm was a little late. They will make adjustments accordingly so that next time, your family will get to stay and enjoy the festivities. At the very least, they will understand when you say you are sorry but you just can't keep baby out so late.
I've got two babies under three and have experienced both scenarios. My family has been understanding after suffering through a few late evenings with two very tired little ones.
Since the time is being left up to you, this shows how excepting and considerate tour MIL is being. Suggest 6pm and then go with the flow.
Good luck!
