My husband and I are expecting a little girl in March. Our first son was thrilled to have his little brother when we were expecting him... and he's eagerly awaiting this one. The potential problem is with our youngest now- he turned 2 Jan 27th and he's been very needy since the day he was born. He knows about the baby and talks to her and is okay with it now. I don't want to alienate him, but obviously my time will be more divided when little sis gets here. We've recently switched to having my husband put the boys to bed at night so they can get used to not just having me do it, but during the day he only wants me! Does anyone know how to deal with a toddler who needs a TON of affection & attention once a baby is born?
I believe you are starting out the right way. Make your youngest a part of everything and he should be able to accept his new sister. Have him bring you diapers and such. Also, spend some extra time with him each day that doesn't involve the new baby. My oldest liked to help and he'd even get me bottles and whatever I needed. The extra time spent with just him will make him feel loved.
Congrats on the new baby!!
I am also expecting and we also have a very needy 2 year old. But she is getting better!! I have my husband do things with her all the time. He reads the story at night and tucks the kids in. I also take some time for myself at night when he gets home to be on my own and then they do something fun! Play a game or eat ice cream or even just sit and talk about their day. If Taylor starts to get whinny then he will step in and deal with it. Just have your usband step up in all those situations and things will be fine. Also if you know anyone with younger children now is the time to have them come over and spend time with you. Sharing will be the biggest issue!
We had a similar experience, except I had twins. Our daughter was 3 when the twins were born. We had her spend extra time with grandparents and her aunt. She saw this as a special treat, and we didn't have to feel like we were neglecting her. On a day to day basis, I would try to take an extra 10-15 minutes whe the boyz were sleeping and read her a story or do something fun. We also put a code word together to let me know when she was feeling left out. It cued me in to know that she needed a little extra time. Let your son know what is going to happen and how things are going to change, resure him that you still love him lots and lots. My boyz are now 3 and their sister still feels left out and neglected at times but she also understands and knows that we love her.
Hi L.,
I've been in a similar circumstance, even though my children are older now, 11 and 9. When I was pregnant with my daughter and my son was 2 I asked my doctor how I could help my son not feel jealous or left out when the baby arrived. He suggested that I buy a gift for him and wrap it and give it to him when I brought the baby home. I told my son that the gift was from his baby sister...(in your case it will be 2 gifts, right?) Anyhow, that seemed to make the transition smoother for the both of us and I think my son was surprised and happy to be on the receiving end of this big occasion as well.
I also agree with the other moms on giving your 2 year old some responsibility with the new baby. Maybe even start by having him help you get the nursery ready including your older boy too, I think that would help them feel more accepting of her when she finally gets here if they had a hand in getting her things ready. (It's also a good way to get them to eat their veggies...have them help cook and they're more likely to eat them).
I hope this has helped you L....good luck!
Hi L.!!
I read your request online. Of course, it's so hard when you're having a new baby and the other one is still pretty much a baby. We have three kids too. I guess, mainly I would have him be the big helper as much as possible for a 2 year old. Getting mommy a diaper, etc. And maybe taking off with your 2 year old by himself and spend that time alone with him and of course your older one too. That helps.
So interested to know what kind of editing you do. I do editing as well for a court reporting firm. I am also a court reporter but quit working outside the home because of my 3 kids. I also have a business from home around my childrens' schedules. It works well to bring in a little extra money and also it's working with a wellness company so I have gotten rid of the toxins in my house, i.e., household cleaners that have horrible things in them that I always worried my kids would get into.
Hope to chat with you, L.. Good luck with the little guy.
T.
Do you know the old wives tale that when a mother is pregnant, if the youngest one is clingy and needy, the baby is the opposite sex, and if the youngest has nothing to do with the mother, its the same sex? It seems to work with my pregnancies. My son was a big daddy's boy, until I became pregnant with my first daughter. My first daughter was a huge mommy's girl, until I became pregnant with daughter #2. Its natural for them to realize that there is a big change coming, that mommy isnt quite herself, and so on with pregnancies. I wont worry about it. He will come around and adjust quite nicely once the baby is born. I really feel that our kids go thru the pregnancy with us like they say our husbands do. I know my son was very emotional when I was pregnant with daughter #1. He would burst into tears when someone would ask him if he wanted a brother. He was 4 at the time. Just keep talking to him, even though he is two, you would be surprised at how much they actually understandv and plan times when the baby is sleeping to play with him, or give him attention. I know its hard to do, my 2 daughters are 2 yrs apart too. But once you get a routine down, it just comes naturally. Do make sure though you get your rest and you get some mommy time too. Three kids are wonderful to have, but it can wear you out. Congratulations and Good Luck!
I know you've prob heard it a million times, but it was a lifesaver for me when my son was born and my youngest step-daughter was really afraid our relationship would change (adult perspective), child reality she physically hung on me, trying to sit in my lap while I nursed, and glared at Caleb every chance she got.
It helped a ton to include her in the care. We got her a dolly and had "Mommy" chats about baby care and she helped with everything. Like this, "Andy would you throw my baby's diapers away, I'll hold yours for a while, so you can get a rest." "Thanks babe, I don't know what I'd do without you".
The upshot of it is, I really don't know what I'd do without her help. She fetched binkies, tossed diapers, gave goodnight kisses, arranged blankets in the back seat of the car and held emergency bottles while I drove...
