Entertaining Toddlers When There Is a New Baby in the House

I was in your same boat just a few years ago. I had an active 3 year old girl and a brand new baby girl. My toddler was very demanding and believe it or not, rarely played with toys. I was going out of my mind to say the least. My two salvations were MOMS Club and a co-op preschool that I participated in. MOMS Club was great because I had extra eyes to watch my toddler if I needed to nurse the baby. It made park outings more manageable. Also, I made a special time for my toddler where I spent one-on-one time with her. Usually this consisted of a special outing or dinner at a restaurant. This helped give her the attention she so desperately needed and gave her (and me) some time away from baby. I have a great book with all kinds of low-cost activities and games that you can do around the house. I will hunt around for it and if you would like, you can have it. Best of luck to you. I don't remember much of my youngest's first year because it was a blur. I am glad that I kept a daily journal detailing the mundane things like teething, rolling over etc. . . I wasn't able to muster up the energy for a scrapbook like I did for the first child. Now my girls are 3 and 6 and play together nicely (most of the time). Be sure to take some time for yourself too - pedicure, massage, outing to coffee shop where you just sit and read a book. It will revive you!! Good luck.

How about a dry-erase white board that she can sit next to you with and draw pictures or practice her letters. At that age, I would draw a letter and then have her try it, or write "I love you" and go over the sounds and letters. Getting a small, lap-size one with one or two pens and an eraser should be under 10 dollars at Staples or Walmart. I also like memory games, puzzles, go-fish, printing coloring pages she likes off the computer, making cards for when Daddy gets home or mailing one to Grandma. You could also have you help clean. Give her a wet paper towel and have her wipe down the table and chairs, or let her spray the bathroom mirror and dry that off, or give her a diaper wipe and sit on the floor next to you and wipe down the baseboards or light switches. You should be able to do any of that while holding/feeding a baby. The main part for me was getting my mindset right. Try looking at it like it is her day and what are you and the baby going to do quietly with her, instead of keeping her quiet while you tend to the baby. I still struggle with this daily, so good luck.

Hi. I have a 26 month-old and a 13 month-old. I know your 3 year-old is several months ahead of my oldest daughter but she may like the same toys. I too rent a place and it's fairly small so I'm really concerned w/ "too much stuff" in the house. We did get our girls a kitchen from Toy's R Us and it's fairly small. Both my girls love the thing. It can be messy w/ all the food/plates scattered about but it keeps them occupied. I also bought my kids some little dolls by Fisher Price, called Snap 'n Style dolls. Their clothes are plastic and they just snap into place. They are really cute and my daughters both love playing w/ them. Those are a couple of ideas for toys your daughter could play w/ on her own...the rest pretty much involves parents help. Good luck.

It looks like you are doing what you can do. I found that my baby stayed in her swing or bouncy seat quite a bit because my attention was on my 2 1/2 year old daughter most of the time. Do you have neighbors that have kids your daughters age? Ask if you can drop her off at a certain time for playdays a few times a week. Tell them that you will pay for a pizza for the kids or something like that. I also dropped my daughter off once a week at a local church that has a parents day out day care. If you live in the Hollywood area e-mail me and I will give you the info. She loved it and loved being away from me. Oh and I had a sitter come for a few hours a day twice a week to take her to the park or walks. It is also OK to take the baby and your daughter out to the park. The baby will be Ok as long as she is not touched by other dirty little hands.

Good Luck!
D.

I too have a three year old and 2 month old, and feel exactly the same way! I hate it when she watches tv all day, although they are educational programs such as World World and Super Reader on PBS, it still makes me feel horrible. Fortunatly, she has a big back yard to play in, but the back yard doesn't keep her attention that long because she wants people to play with her and I'm always inside with the baby. At Toys R Us (or I'm sure Walmart carries them) I got her some workbooks at the preschool and kindergarten level (she too is very advanced for her age) and I try to find a time each day where we can sit down and have "us" time while doing the books together. She also has a couple games - the Smart Cycle is wonderful. Although a little pricy, it's definitly worth the investment. As well as some Leap Frog computers that help her with her numbers and letters. So as of right now she is really interested in learning her numbers, letters, sounds, etc. On regular 3x5 index cards with tape on the back, I've written words for her - such as door, window, floor, etc. and we work on sounding out the word and placing the card on the correct thing.
Good luck!

I would only allow her to watch TV those times when you absolutely need to get something done because anything done excessively tends to become boring and she won't want to watch tv at critical times when you really need to do important things.

I'd also suggest creating a schedule and following it religiously to fill up the day. Kids tend to do really well on schedules. I'd then vary it according to the day of the week.

When you're cleaning the house, do not be afraid to give her some chores too. My daughter (3) LOVES 'washing' the dishes, emptying the trash containers in the bathroom, sitting in the tub and cleaning it (we use bubble bath), using the toilet brush to scrub around the toilet, helping to make the beds, 'folding' clothes (which I re-fold, of course). She also has puzzle time, writing the letters of the alphabet and numbers time, free play, water color painting (she absolutely loves this), dancing and singing to music on the radio, etc.

Try to make sure that she has solo activities, it's important for a kid to be able to entertain self too. She can lotion the baby, brush the babies hair, spend time either combing her own hair or yours, match all of the socks (or shoes)in the house, stack the pots or straighten the pantry, etc, help to clean the car, play musical chairs. She can help pick out the clothes she wants to wear, help to make lunch (especially sandwiches).

I'm just randomly thinking of the things my daughter and I do, but I think it's important that everything you do doesn't have to involve money, and that you can teach your child to be helpful and help mommy, and that she can spend time alone and be okay.

LOL, I am going thru the "why" stage now! Oh my is all I have to say, and I have two of em! Anyhow, my twins were 3 1/2 when I had my 3rd. Playdoh was a savior. I would put them at the table with a placemat and just let them go. I gave them all sorts of kitchen gadgets to poke in the dough along with cookie cutters. I have a little playdoh toy that squeezes out different shapes. I got a set for a gift it had a little mini rolling pin they loved that. You can make your own playdoh. Add kool-aid packs to it to make it smell and give it color. Grape is great! If you need a recipe let me know. It gets quite messy but all I would do is vacuum it up. They mixed the colors all together which at first drove me nuts, but I got over it. I made little animals for them out of it and they loved that. But then again, I had twins so they had a built in playmate. I have to say that really helped when we added another to the mix. Good luck!

Read! My three year old can hold the book while I read and nurse the new baby. Also it will answer a lot of her questions (and maybe give her some new ones). She can also help you with the baby - she's a perfect age to fetch a diaper or help in other ways. Good Luck!
Oh and don't beat yourself up if you need a rest and put PBS on - it will be OK.

That's tough. Don't feel too bad because you've done quite a bit with her. And most of us moms have been there. Does she play computer games? I was thrilled when my son started playing computer games. They're just mesmerized and feel such accomplishment when they can do it by themselves. In the beginning you'll have to sit with her but once she gets the hang of it, you'll have some quiet time. Of course, games aren't free but you could find some websites that have inexpensive games. Do a web search for preschool computer games. I'm sure a website that boasts inexpensive games will come up. And the games are much cheaper online anyway than in the stores and some have free shipping or inexpensive shipping. They're a good investment.

I too have a 3yr old girl, 3 and 7 mos actually and a 4 1/2 month old boy. I understand exactly what you are saying. I have structured each day and each week so we know exactly what we are doing. I plan activities for the 3 year old outside the house (i.e.) a walk to the coffee store, read books for 30 or so minutes and socialize with whoever is there or plan a mini-play-date there then walk home. We get home by 1100 or so have lunch and then she is on her own to play in her room, read her books, whatever. I resort to TV on occasion usually the same 2 or 3 movies she is allowed to watch 30 or so minutes. She has gotten really good at entertaining herself because she has been forced to. If she's following me around, driving me nuts... another activity (non TV) she loves is a disk I got for the computer called "I CAN COLOR" she colors for hours on the computer using the mouse to click the colors and color tons of different sheets. I got the disk in one of those PRE-K activity books from Costco or Target. Another very cheap activity is she loves to clean. If I give her the vacuum, some rags and a spray bottle (you can put water in it) she cleans windows, counters, mops the floor whatever. The last suggestion is when she's really being a nut I know she just needs my undivided attention and I give it to her. I get down on the floor, look directly at her and say let's chat or what should we play. I've made her room very kid friendly so she can access her books, games, trains, dolls everything. I keep it organized so she's not overwhelmed by all the stuff but it all looks inviting and fun. Hope this helps. Mom who's right there with ya. G.

you're not a terrible mother, its all about perspective. Try to see all this from her little perspective. I think the reason you feel she is not satisfied with your answers to all of her 'why' questions, is because knowing the 'why' isn't really what she is getting at. She is competing for your attention. The problem is, there is so much to do, that just 'you and her' time is way low on the to-do list. Try to find time early in the day to read her some 3-yr-old level stories so that she feels very special. Then she may feel able to afford to give up some of your time.

I would subtly encourage her to entertain herself in ways other than watching TV. There are lots of things that three year olds can do without you. I haven't read it yet because my daughter isn't that old, but you could try the "Your Child at Play:3-4" book. I found the one for my daughter's age very helpful. Also, I used to be a child care provider for three year olds and I'm trying to think of ideas... dancing, dress up, any form of imaginative play, reading, coloring, painting (be creative with painting- you can paint with just about anything on just about anything porous). Use your environment as much as possible- is there a window she can look out of? Play I spy. Find finger plays and songs on the internet. Make a weekly trip to the library and look for books on her most recent interest. Take nature walks and have her collect and/or draw pictures of what she sees. Take the cushions off the couch and let her bounce on the springs. Make a fort out of chairs, couch cushions, blankets, or whatever. Make playdates or do babysitting exchanges so you can have a little break and your child can get some peer interaction. There is absolutely no reason to spend much money on entertaining a preschooler. Be creative, and remember to take a breath when you get frustrated. But the key is to not alway do these things with her. Sometimes you need to give her an idea or some materials and leave her alone. Of course it is important to play with your kids, but it is not necessary to play with them all the time. In fact, it's not good for ANYONE- it stresses you out to feel like you need to, and it discourages autonomy and creativity if your child is always relying on you for entertainment. Slowly (and patiently) lead her toward being self sufficient, and before you know it your kids will be playing with each other and you will be (mostly) off the hook.

Hi R.,

I am a mother of four(all grown now) who were very close in age. I am also an early childhood specialist and teach child development at a local college in HI.

PHEW ! do I remember those days. So here are a couple of things to think about.
Your three yr old is at an age where she needs to be doing real things. Try to shift from thinking in terms of "entertaining" her to filling her time with meaningful 3 yr old work. 3 year old are all about independence. give it to her , help her develop the skills she needs to be independent in the house and she will be very busy all day. What that might look like is this.
She tells you she is hungry, so you set things up in such a way she can get her own snack and prepare it herself by taking out a small plate herself, taking out the crackers, herself and arranging them on her little plate, taking out a little block of cheese herself from the fridge, finding the cutting board (perhaps needs to get a step stool and reaching it herself. putting it on a work space created for her , perhaps a small table set up for her to work at in the kitchen, she then has to go to the drawer to get herself a knife (serrated plastic picnic ware cuts very well) cuts three pieces of cheese and arranges them on her special plate, puts the knife and board into the sink, puts the crackers away and the cheese into the fridge and then sits down to have a snack. She may have set up two plates one for you to have a snack with her. After the snack she puts everything into the sink and puts some soap on a sponge and washes the dishes and the knife and the board.(you may need to re wash but don't let her see this!) All of this "work" can take up a lot of time and at the same time is a very calming and gratifying activity for her. There are many , many activities that will engage her throughout the day that have to do with the fact that what she really wants is to be just like you. So if you are cleaning, think of a way she can sweep with you. Not pretend to sweep but to have her own broom and see the dirt coming together. Folding laundry? give her the towels and show her a method she can use to fold them on the floor. We clean and prepare to get a task done, a three year old does these things to perfect themselves and this is very exciting to them. Only pitfall is don't expect this to help you get your work done. she may want to fold the same towel over and over and over and over long after you have left the room. Try not to interrupt her , Shhhhh, she is perfecting herself!
Try one thing at a time. let me know how it goes. J.

First of all, don't feel like a bad mommy for the TV. Only we know how long the day really can be. But I would try and break it up throughout the day, so that it's not all at once. As far as activities go, the trick is to find things that aren't creating too much mess or stress for you. One idea that we came up with is 'baseball practice". I use our laundry hamper and have my toddler practice throwing toys into it. We move from room to room, finding all of the things that don't belong (the toys) and throwing them into the hamper (that you can push around with your foot). Another ideawe came up with is called 'giant spider web', which requires purchasing party streamers at a party supply store. These are very inexpensive - under $1 per roll and come in every color of the rainbow. My 3 year old loves to make a giant 'web' around our house, and comes up with her own creative ways of attaching the streamers to door handles, furniture, and toys, as she runs from room to room. She thinks it is hilarious to make such a giant mess in our house! At the end of the day, it takes me all of about 2 minutes to tear it all down and put it in the recycling. Hope this helps! D

Hi R.;

Thanks for your concern with high energy child, I have four children. Two adults and my eldest daughter is married and has 17 mths old daughter. My son is 21 yrs old and lived in NY and studied video and games designer. He is very hyper active. I have 16 yrs old daughter which is already in Junior College and 14 yrs old son freshman in high school. My 21 and 16 yrs children are very hyper and I have to challenge them with different kinds of activities and sport,music and dance etc., Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. I stayed home mom and raised them while my husband is working in his company. I handled everything by myself because I love children. I have the passion and understanding. They're precious and intelligent human being. What I do with them when they're growing up, I have them routine schedules. I feed them breakfast, at 10 am, I gave them snacks and drinks then off to go and play in the playground with each other. While I have my eldest in the Pre school 3 X a week, my children went to the park and played in the playground and running. Then before noon, we picked up my eldest daughter from Pre School then go home and make them lunch and drink. After they ate lunch at 1:30, I have them all taking a nap for 1 1/2 or 2 hours nap then gave them snacks then take them again in the park. At 5 pm, we went home and I started preparing dinner and my husband usually come home at 6:30 pm and we ate dinner. We let them watch some children show with them. There bedtime is 8:30 pm so we read them a book every night before they go to sleep. Then it is my husband time and myself relaxing and talking about my day and his day. Your daughter is just very smart child that's why she ask questions because she is curious about everything. You will needed to set up a routine schedules for her including twice of nap in the morning and afternoon since she is very active. Set up her bedtime at 8:30 pm everyday and 7 days a week. By the time she started going to school, she is ready and she will have routine to do her homework first so that you can attend to your other child. Please do not carry your baby at all times because when my children are full,clean,I leave them in a play pen or swing while I am attending other children but constantly keeping on eye with the baby. Because if you keep carrying the baby, then you will not have time to your toddler. It is only my suggestions because that's what I do with my four children, I have them routine when they're growing up. It is very helpful because they will used to it that work first before play. It is always priority to do homework and project because it is important than playing and watching TV. You're the mother who will control and guide,discipline your children. The earlier you trained them, it will help you and benefit you in a long run. It is worth doing it and setting up rules to your toddler now than later on. Because the baby will started growing up and she will wanted your time also. Started training them right now. Good luck and take care.

A.