13 answers

Empty Nest Syndrome on the horizion.....HELP!!!!

I am a single parent, who has been divorced over 10 years and has been out of the dating scene for 7 plus years. I have devoted my life to raising my daughter and thank God daily because she has turned out to be an amazing teenager. She about to leave for college next year and I am already going through early stages of empty nest syndrome. She is going away to school and the thought SCARES ME...not because she won't do well but because I will now be alone.

In the past few years I have started working on my career and went back to school. But that's it...my daughter, parenting, work, school, church and home. I have no life outside of that. School is coming to an end for me in May 07 and my child leaves in August 07.

I feel LOST...any advice.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

i have not gone through this but i would suggest dating or just hang out with friends. Don't look at it as if you baby is leaving home look at it as a chance to feel like you are 18 again. It will be upsetting and there is nothing wrong with missing her. But think of all the things you can do now like go out with friends till 3 am or take trips to far away exotic places.

More Answers

You should pat yourself on the back, hold your head up high and realize that now is the time for you. You have done a great job raising your daughter and doing for her all these years. Your daughter is moving on to a new, independent chapter in her life so now its time for you to do more for you.

Get involved in singles groups in the area, join match.com or e-harmony and make some friends. Does your church have any groups for singles? Join the gym, go on a singles cruise. Enjoy your life.

2 moms found this helpful

First, I want to congratulate you on being an obviously devoted mother! So many mothers these days are more worried about themselves than their children! It sounds like your daughter will continue to grow into a great individual just like you, I'm sure. Lord knows we need more respectable people in this difficult world!! Although I am not facing the "empty nest syndrome", as my son is only 2, I am always looking for things to do while my son is asleep. I started scrapbooking, which is a really relaxing and rewarding hobby! (Besides, if ever you are missing your "little girl", you will be looking at pictures of her constantly to help you feel closer to her!) I find it so rewarding to see the finished product of all our priceless memories. In addition, it allows you to view all your favorite photos in a unique way. It's fun to have family over and show them your albums as masterpeices!! If that doesn't work, or maybe you are not the craftsy type, you could always try scheduling special mother-daughter time if you are needing to see her. Just think, from what I have been told by other mother's, they always come back to do laundry:) Good luck, and I wish you and your daughter lots of happiness, and I'm sure that she will be missing you just as much as you will miss her!

1 mom found this helpful

I went through that when my oldest daughter moved out. Fortunately, it was close to home. That changed, though. Her fiance' finished college and is an Architect. He has an internship to complete, and found one--in Florida! We went on vacation prior to him being offered this job, and my daughter didn't want to tell me as it would ruin my vacation. When we came home, she told me--and they were leaving in two weeks! I cried and cried! I thought the end of my world had come. My oldest and I are very close as I was a divorced and single Mom up to 6 1/2 years ago. Well, she moved, and they are doing wonderful! She transferred her credits to a college there and has started her third year. Her boyfriend continued his education and will have his Master's this year. The company he works for is not only wonderful to him, but to my daughter, as well. They are like an adopted family! They are in a beautiful area (Coral Gables.).

It's very very very hard, at first. My best advice would be to get a web cam with a microphone and get on it every single night. That helped me so much!

Now, I have a five-year daughter that I will have to go through this all over again. I may need your advice, then! LOL.

1 mom found this helpful

I say enjoy the time you have to yourself. You can email and call your daughter. It seems scary to be alone, but do some fun things you like to do. Maybe there is something you in the past thought of doing, but never had the time to do it. You could start working out,join a singles group or devote more time to work and church.

My daughter is only 9, but I think about this a lot! We are so close and I know it will be hard. I do scrapbooking also and if you contact a Creative Memories consultant or a local scrapbooking store, they have "crop" times that you can get together with other moms and work on your books.
Reach out to people at your job and church and I am sure you'll make new friends and find some new activities.
Best of luck, It will get better!

Hi A.,

I think you should check out Meetup.com That website has a ton of groups that you can join. They have walking groups, dog lover groups, mother groups, political groups, cooking groups, new to the area groups...you get the idea.

It's free to join the website and most groups are free too and it's a great way to meet new people!

Good luck!
K.

Hi A.,
I am having the empty nest syndrome feeling myself. I have two teenagers, and one pre-teen. Two of mine are getting ready to move out and go on with their lives. I get really scared sometimes. I think more so for myself than for them. I know i have raised them the best that i could and have instilled in them all the necessary things to go out and make a good life for themselves. I just feel like i am not going to know what to do without them. I was a single/divorced single parents for a good ten years. I am engaged now. I have enrolled myself in a program with a local therapist. She is helping me work through alot of this. I would have never pictured myself seeing a therapist but she really does offer me some very helpful suggestions about my future/ with the kids all on their own. She also gives me good things to think about, instead of all the gloomy depressing things i think about. And, another way to look at all of this.....Maybe when the kids move out, it is our BREAK TIME before we someday get Grandchildren? I don't know. I guess i wasn't very helpful, but i do know how you feel. Hang in there.

i have not gone through this but i would suggest dating or just hang out with friends. Don't look at it as if you baby is leaving home look at it as a chance to feel like you are 18 again. It will be upsetting and there is nothing wrong with missing her. But think of all the things you can do now like go out with friends till 3 am or take trips to far away exotic places.

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