Does Your Ex Claim Your Child(ren) on His Taxes?

this is the problem about just having a mutual agreement and not going through the court. If you both agreed you could have met with a mediator and signed the agreed upon agreement because the new girlfriend or boyfriend can cause nothing but trouble. My ex's girlfriend is like this she thinks she needs to control everything that goes on I am so happy that we already had a court ordered agreement before she came into the picture because I can't get anywhere with my ex now.

As far as claiming my son hubby claims him because in order to claim a child as a dependent they must live with you more then 50% of the year so I say if he does not want to help you with the extras anymore don't let him claim her he technically can't since he only has her every other weekend.

Hmmm. When my ex and his girlfriend got together about 4 years ago that's when he started saying he paid too much in child support too. His girlfriend saw how much was coming out of his check. So anyway- child support doesn't include "extras" unless when you go to court you add them in and the judge agrees. We did go back to court, and his child support only went down about .... 40 bucks per week. So whatever. But I do claim her every year. That was in our original divorce decree. He has asked about it in the past and I told him if he got caught up on child support and started paying half of our daughter extra curricular stuff then I would alternate years with him. He is caught up on child support - but, why should he get to claim her if he is not helping pay for the extra stuff? My advice, if he wants to stop helping out how he used to, get an attorney and just make it legal and have him pay what he is "supposed" to pay according to the law. Then, it's out of both of your hands. Maybe he'll realize how good you made it for him.

My kids are with me the majority of the time (see their dad every Saturday and come home on Sunday). I pay most of their expenses, I get child support but it is not much. I claim them on my taxes every year - but I don't ask him for much more than child support. They are on my health care plan, I pay the medical bills, I pay for extracurricular activities, camp, scouts, etc. The decree doesn't necessarily read this way, but it is what we have worked out on our own.

My ex claims EVERY year, pays very little in support . . . by the pay off is I don't have to deal with him - he obviously only cares about money, not her because it was the only thing holding up the divorce that we couldn't agree on - so after 4 years, the judge gave him every year and a lower amount of support. I try to not get bitter because he does have money (he an engineer, has a very nice house, much nicer than mine - but he only sees her 2X a year and I don't have to deal with him).

well my daughters father (he's not even an ex of mine) and i went to court to establish paternity and child support and everything. in indiana, its state precedent that you alternate years, even though tax law says whoever pays more than 50% of the expenses claimes her. family law is more powerful than tax law i guess. but that's what the judge ordered. so that's what we're doing. this is his first year to claim her, so we'll see how it goes. it will be a big blow to me, because i need my tax return, and he'll get a huge one. he lives at home with his parents and everything, so he doesn't really need it (well he might, this is just my view of the situation). its frustrating, but there's not much i can do. he's caught up on everything that i put restrictions on, so... i have to let him claim her. i say since he's changing his tune you should take him to court and get paternity established (unless his name is on the birth certificate) and then get child support established. if you go through the state he can't change it on you, and will be held accountable for what he owes you. good luck

If you have full custody and he just has visitation, you should be taking her on your taxes every year. It is whoever is paying 51% of her support that gets the deduction. I doubt his child support comes to 51%, usually it doesn't. I took my daughter every year.

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If you have full custody and he just has visitation, you should be taking her on your taxes every year. It is whoever is paying 51% of her support that gets the deduction. I doubt his child support comes to 51%, usually it doesn't. I took my daughter every year.

My hubby has 2 kids from a previous marriage. Each parent takes 1 kid and claims that child on their taxes.

I am not sure why you are hearing that it is not fair to share...

I think what you guys are doing is fair right now.

I believe most people alternate claiming their kids unless one pays significantly more. It sounds like you have a good realaitonship and it is nice you have been able to work together on this. But it always should have been in writing. It is all about what your daughter is entitled to. It is for her, not for you - even the tax situation is taking money out of your pocket you could have for her. More to the point. it eems that, at least until now he has paid relatively fairly. However, he does need to pay more than the necessities. He needs to pay a proportional amount in extras. Also, over time an agreement does need ot be adjusted with a change of circumstances.

Short answer: You are not being unfair to him. Your child's support is for her and "she" needs to get what she is entitled to. The actual division is based on incomes and custody. Get your daughter a lawyer (metaphorically speaking), and stand up for her, and stop worrying about ruffling feathers. If you are worried about his reaction then all the more reason to get it all in writing because clearly he can't be trusted. He should want to do this to protect all of you.

PS - He has you in a situation where you have to go and ask him for money like he is YOUR dad. That is not fair. He should pay an averaged estimate of monthly expenses for her (necessities and extras). And if he wants to provide more as needed then that just means he is a standup guy. You shouldn't have to ask on a case by case basis like you are the child.

I think I would do some research and get together what he would have to pay you if you took him to court. Also maybe itemize all of your expenses that you have been covering and tell him that you want to get together sit down and show him what he has been paying vs. what you could be getting out of him. I would also mention the changes since his wonderful gf has come along, and that he needs to be a man stand up her and do what is best for his daughter! I am not sure how much he is paying you and maybe after you do your research he is paying you more than you would be getting and you would just want to leave it alone....but I would do your research and then schedule a time to maybe go to lunch and go over things with him, and if his gf wants to be there, then let her be there and she can see for herself how much it would cost.....

If he's helping to support her (regardless of the "extras"), then he has the right to claim her as a dependent. If he's splitting the majority of her living costs then he should be able to claim her as a dependent.

As for his response to you, the girlfriend may be influencing the situation but it may be time to have a sit-down chat and reconsider your agreement. It is entirely possible that his financial situation has changed or will be changing in the near future. Give him a call after the holidays and ask him to go for a cup of coffee and check-in. As your daughter gets older, you will need to continue to be open with one another about your roles and responsibilities.

Have some suggestions ready...
- Does he want to be part of the discussion regarding "activities" before you sign her up for something? He may be more willing to contribute if he's part of the conversation.
- Is he able to contribute more $$ or would he rather contribute more time- he does the to/from carpool to dance. Something "non-monetary" that would help out.
- Does he want some "warning" before a cost pops-up? You purchased the items and basically sent him a bill. He wasn't expecting it and reacted. Next time, maybe a quick text that XYZ activity will cost $$$, do you want to help out?

If all else fails, get something more formal in writing. You can write it up yourselves and have it notarized. That way there is no back-and-forth.

Yes, my ex claims the kids every year. In our legal agreement (both have attorneys, no mediator), in the event that I go back to work full time making at least 20k a year, then we share the deduction. I get the first year, he gets the next and so on. This is a pretty common arrangement for SAHM, if you've ALWAYS worked full time, I'd imagine it would be pretty different.

In face, because of my exs substantial salary, it in fact saves him THOUSANDS of dollars a year that I am not working, however it still annoys him!

He also pays about 30% more than the NYS formula in child support for our particular situation. Not suggest it's enough (of course it's NOT). I no longer ask for help on extras (when I did I pissed him off to the point where it would effect the kids), I have taken to telling him...."I do not have the money for X, unless you do, he/she will not be getting the X that they need."

This is playing dirty perhaps, but I also tell my kids to 'ask Dad' on the rare occasion they want/need something I don't have the money for.

Many times I just bite it. I have substantial debt. My oldest went to france his junior year in high school. If I'd asked for help, my ex would've said he doesn't NEED to go to France.

My daughter was a competetive gymnast for many years. If I'd've ask for help specifically for that, he'd've said she doesn't 'need' to compete. etc

Keep in mind my ex and his GF bring in over 200k together, and have no kids. Just the two of them, so yeah they're doing ok.

The laws on this topic vary fr state to state. The problem in your situation is not what you think, what you are doing is fair. The issue is his girlfriend who shouldn't be involved in the issue (unless they get MARRIED and then your ex needs to explain this child is the priority, not her wants, needs or insecurities. She sounds very biased about the whole thing because of her position in her own situation.) The ex needs to explain to her this situation ls not her situation. If she was any kind of parent she would applaud the ex for taking care of this child and going the extra mile when his help was needed. She also sounds very bitter and controlling and maybe your ex should pull himself up by the suspenders and have a private talk with you about support, filing taxes, etc. (He needs to put the Bulldog back on the leash ,sort of speak

) Best of Luck to All of you, C. S.

Every state is different. The court system would rather have the both of you come to an agreement then have the final decree completed so the judge can stamp it "final". Otherwise if you had to go to court cause you guys can't agree then the judge will, but courts can take years & lots of money. But the 2 of you had a good arrangement & he came out ahead because you pay for the majority & for all medical. My ex let his SO get in between our mutual agreement & he took me to court to change our agreement & ended up paying me a lot more per month & had to get health ins for our DD, which he ended up paying about $250 more per month by the time all was said & done. But I always claimed her on my taxes.

My ex taking me to court was the best thing that could have happened, I didn't think that at the time. I had something added that worked out huge in my benefit. So if you go to court here is something to consider: My ex worked a regular 9-5 job, typically no overtime, no bonus, no commission. But I never wanted to have to go back to court in case he got a better job so I had verbage added saying that he had to supply me his tax returns every year & if there was any more money due to a job change, raises, etc, that he would automatically pay me the additional 20% outside of the courts. Years later my ex ended up getting a much better job making a lot more money & he couldn't hide it since he had to supply me his tax returns. Of course he tried to take me to court to get out of it but he couldn't because that's what was in our final court order. And by the way my DD was 11 by the time we went to court & she was almost 3 when we split up. Good luck

My husband and his ex use to split years, he had odds she had evens (that's how we remembered). But that was something they came to agreement over. If he doesn't want to help with extras, then I say you don't allow him to claim her. He was being nice so you were being nice. Now you need that money to help with what he use to give. Also, if she is 7...prices have gone up since you originally made the agreement, maybe that needs to be looked over again. Make sure it's him that's making the call. If his girlfriend is serious, then maybe it's time you all had a chat. as adults wanting the best for your child.

You are the one who is entitled by law (see IRS regulations) to claim your daughter on your taxes.

You really need to have a legal agreement. It would be best to go through the court. However, it the very least there should be a written document that both of you sign and have notarized.

Talk to him, not text. I am wondering if it is her that is texting and making these decisions. It does not sound like him!! Hope you can figure it out as it sounds like you both have been doing great raising her apart but together(in a way).