21 answers

Claiming Child on Taxes???

My daughters father just called and asked if he could claim out daughter every other year on taxes. My daughter is 10 and her father and I have always had an agreement amongst ourselves. (we kept it out of the courts) During the school year my daughter lives with me and stays with her father every other weekend. I get $500 a month from him for her. During the summer she stays with him and I get her every other weekend and during this time he does not pay child support. He is not a bad father he is just not helpful financially beyond his child support. Does he have the right to claim her every other year??? I am a single mother with another son and I live pay check to paycheck. It's hard but I manage and my kids are always taken care of. He is married with two other kids living in a beautiful house in a nice part of town. Help!!!! I am angry that he wants to do this but he said it is his right and wants to settle this as adults ...he does not want to take me to court if he does not have to. Is it really worth the fight especially since we have a decent relationship and my daughter is very happy. I don't want her to notice a change in the atmosphere.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone for some great advise. I talked to my aunts friend who was the supervisor for child support at welfare and she agreed with the fact that I have every right to say no. I can only hope my decision does not make him turn this into something it does not have to be. That tax money is very important each year. This year it went all to my daughter for expander for her teeth and a gifted program she got into for this summer. Next year she is supposed to get braces and the the tax money is where I would be getting the money to pay for it. Believe when I say my children come first and everything I do and earn is to make there life better. Thanks again and I will keep you posted on the outcome.

Featured Answers

Well no it is not his " right" . Fed tax law is clear...the child lives with you for the majority of the year so you get to claim her.

More Answers

Your anger is justified. This man just tried to punk you out to get his way. Firstly he doesn't have any right to claim the child every other year. That is an agreement that should be done in writing and presented to the court according to the IRS rules.

I received child support in NJ. My guess is that he wants to keep it out of the courts because he probably knows according to the formula used by the system he would be paying you far more than he is right now.

Get yourself prepared by getting a great attorney. Save money anyway possible because I wouldn't advise you to go to court without one but stall him as you prepare to go to court.

In the NJ formula they consider all income from all adults supporting the children and all the children in the house, they then take the support calculation and divide it by your and his percentage of income to determine just how much you each owe the child in support. Think of it like a pie. The state would be determining based on the income that your kid is entilted to $100 a week in support you may be responsible for only $20 because you only make 20% of the income calculated to support the kid. He then would be responsible for the $80 a week for the care of the kid. Visitation and claiming the child on a tax return are all things that can be determined in the order for support and custody.

Keep you emotions on this matter to yourself as you work out how you are going to handle this but it does need to be handled. I'm so angry with him for treating you like this. I loathe when men try to manipulate women because we are women.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi, Lil:
Just say, "NO."
"I need the extra income."

He can then make a decision on what he wants to
do about it. You already supplied the reason to say no.
Of course, you don't have to get into an argument with him
about this. You know the drill.

Good luck.
(You give an inch, he wants a mile. Something like that.)

2 moms found this helpful

Forget about trying to be nice for the sake of "atmosphere". It's time to get a legal agreement in writing so you are not wondering when your child's father is going to pull the rug out from under you.

Find an attorney or apply for legal aid. Don't let your ex tell you what his rights are. Find out for yourself what the law says in your state. I'm in Oregon, and claim my 2 boys as dependents on my taxes. Their dad and I share custody but I am considered the primary residential parent, so I get to claim them every year. Having everything in writing means I don't have to get angry or worry about whether I'll get child support next year when my ex decides he wants to change things. This is how adults settle things, clearly, legally, in writing. Do it for your daughter.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and his ex wife split the claiming of taxes.

~I personally think that it is fair to do so too. I mean if you think about it, dads who pay CS and have visitation have to pay monthly CS AND have to keep up a house and a room w/toys and clothes and all that stuff for when the child is at their house...so they deserve a tax break too.

Let me ask you this? Do you pay CS to him during the summer? Seems like you should...to me anyway...if you do not why do you think you shouldn't?

IMO, giving him the option of claiming the child every other year is
more than fair and you should think about doing it?!

The amount of other kids he has and what kind of house he lives in is not relevant in the slightest bit...that just makes you seem jealous and petty.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it is only fair that he gets to claim your daughter every other year. I also think it is fair that he doesn't pay child support when she is staying with him. At that point in time he is caring for her 100%. $500 a month should be plenty to take care of a 10 y.o.

This is just a general statement for all parents who receive child support, but. It seems that most parents that receive child support rely on this money and they shouldn't. This is not guaranteed money and can stop at any time. This money should be put aside for the care of the child. New shoes, daycare expenses, extra activities. Just my thoughts though. I know it is easier said then done.

2 moms found this helpful

The way the new tax laws are set up he can not claim her without you signing a paper allowing it that has to be filed with the IRS. The law now trumps whatever was set up in court via divorce/support courts. The way its set up now is the parent who has the child/children 51% of the time is the only one who can claim them without filing paper work. I forget which number was assigned to said paperwork but you can call the IRS and get that information you can also ask that a block be put on her SS number so that only you can file using her. We went through this, this year. The IRS was very helpful in this matter and kicked back the ex's taxes and let ours go through with my child on it!

1 mom found this helpful

Hmmm. I think the reason he is asking you is that he can't just do it because he DOESN'T have the right. Check with a good attorney and accountant. Sounds to me that by threatening you, he may unwittingly be poking the hornets nest because he's not paying enough child support, and he'd be sorry if you went to court, so I'd call him on that bluff. Child support should be year round. Being on good terms with your ex should not be contingent on you giving to much, which you already are. Don't let him bully you. Know your rights. You may be best off going to court actually. Speak to a few experts in your state.

1 mom found this helpful

According to the IRS the person who claims the child, is who the child lived with the majority of the time. This would be you. There are exceptions, so he could claim her every other year if you agree to it. IMO no way!!!

If he wants to settle this as adults, that means coming up with a legal written agreement. Although, I would recommend going through the courts, to the best of my knowledge it's not necessary. The two of you can draw up an agreement, sign it and have it notarized.

Just another thought... It sounds like he could afford alot more than $500 a month (unless his new family is living off of his spouses income). I would consult with an attorney.

1 mom found this helpful

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