Does Your 2Nd Grader Know What an Autopsy Is?

Updated on October 03, 2013
C.S. asks from Fort Lauderdale, FL
30 answers

Background: I know that I am overprotective. We don't allow our children to watch very much TV and strictly limit what they do watch. They do not play on computers without supervision and then only on "mom approved" websites. Yesterday, my 2nd grader brought home a book he had been assigned to read from school. The Zack Files: Zap! I'm a Mind Reader by Dan Greenburg. In the first chapter, the character, Zack talks about his class being nervous about the science teacher's weekend job as the local mortician who does autopsies. My son did not know what a mortician was (he has been spared from death thus far in his life) and had no idea what an autopsy might be...

Well, I told him an autopsy is like a surgery done on dead people when the police or doctors don't know why a person died to find out if there is a crime or an accident involved. Maybe not the best definition - but I was on the spot in the car!

So my question - does your 2nd grader know what an autopsy is? Am I being too overprotective to prefer that my child read books that are a bit less adult? Thanks. C.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Autopsies aren't "naughty". Death is not a "no-no topic".

It's science. A modern examination that gives us insight into the cycle of life.

I don't see anything "too adult" about a book that happens to mention autopsies.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Yes you're being over protective. My kids knew what an autopsy was at that age because they know that we had to wait on one for my brother when he died a couple of years ago. It's no big deal. It might not be something that every child has come across at that age, but you simply explain it the way you did and move on. No biggie!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Yes my daughter knew, not because of a book they were reading in school but because death is a part of life.

I'd much rather my child get facts from me vs nonfactual info from peers which could lead to so unhealthy understanding of life, death, sex, etc.

I understand being protective and trying to keep children innocent but they don't need to be so restricted that they view otherwise normal things for everyone else as abnormal, scary, dirty, etc

Keep you communication lines open and balance everything. That book series is written for that grade level so it is not an "adult" series.

Best wishes.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

C.:

I'm sorry. You are sheltering your children.

Death is part of life. It's unfortunate, but true. My mom just died on the 18th. I was there for her last breath and heart beat. My children were NOT there as it was her wish for them to remember her and the fun times they had this summer.

The book you are referring to is NOT an adult book. It's age appropriate.

Do my kids know what an autopsy is? Yes. They were young when they learned about it as my husband's mother died in 2006 - they were six and 3 at that time. We kept it simple like you did - it's an operation on a dead person to find out why they died.

They also know about cremation as both my husband's parents are now deceased and now my mom. All of whom were cremated.

Please give your children a more broader world....let them know that people do die. it's a part of life. Don't shelter them from it. If your parents are older and/or in ill health - they need to be prepared. Just like when pets die....they need to understand it. It's not easy. But it helps when they are prepared.

Another thing? Volunteer at your kids school's. You will see more of what is going on in the classroom - heck - you might even be able to be there for library day and read to the kids in the library...then you will see that the school has a variety of books that are age appropriate..

good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

waaaaaaaay overprotective, imho

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Autopsies didn't come up for us until a year and a half ago when their 10 year old cousin died. They didn't have a reason for a week and an autopsy was performed. It was Reye's Syndrome. We explained it to our boys in a similar way that you explained it.

I don't think that the subject of death or autopsies is too adult. Death is a natural part of life, and autopsies help the living to make better medical decisions to avoid untimely deaths in the future.

Ask questions as he goes along to ensure that he's not confused by the information, but don't censor it.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

The Zack files is not an adult book, it is written for that age group. My children understand about death, it is a part of life and it is important that it not be something scary or taboo.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

They knew before 2nd grade what an autopsy is. We have a friend that is a mortician and they knew anyway before that.
Dead is just a part of life and we treat it as such. Nothing to hide, nothing to be scared of, not a big deal. It just is. We've had a couple cats pass on and they've had friends have family members pass on.
I would not have been bothered by the book in question at all.

That was a pretty good explanation you gave him actually. Not all of it of course involves surgery, some of it is simple physical examination of the outside. But in a pinch, that wasn't too bad.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Have you read the entire book? It is far from being an adult book. My first grade daughter who is well read didn't know what an autopsy was but now she does. Because when I asked her if she knew what it was I piqued her curiosity.

Like others have mentioned death is a part of life. Be thankful your kids haven't experienced it first hand, but keeping the idea of death from them will make it harder for them to deal with when it does happen to someone close to them.

Being a mortician/funeral director is a real job. Autopsies aren't always connected to grisly murders. Connect it to science and how doctors use autopsies to understand why someone has died so they can help others.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you answered his question well. And I don't think discussing death and dying with children (or reading about it) is inappropriate at all. Death is a natural part of life. As long as the book is not gory or scary or too detailed then I think it's fine.
Remember if a child is TOO protected from the facts of life then they will gather information from their friends (often false) and their imaginations can take over and make things seem more frightening than they really are.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Learning that death is a natural part of life, is in no way inappropriate. They weren't taking a field trip to an autopsy room, they are reading a book.

I think a second grader should know about death being a part of life, to be honest.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes.
Both my kids know what that is and why.
My son is in 2nd grade.

My kids also know what Forensics is. And what dissection is.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter did know by that age what an autopsy was, but she was and is really into stuff about the human body and medical things.

As someone else noted, it's not an adult book. Read it with him or on your own. If this topic was a problem for you, I'd strongly suggest that you read the books he's reading and even read ones he isn't -- not to edit them but to try seeing what the teachers see in them and why kids like them, because kids do really like a lot of books with gory or ghoulish or (on the other hand) very realistic stuff on them.
'
It will give you a LOT of insight into what is being written for kids and will also help you discuss things with him if he has questions. My daughter (now 7th grade) still likes it when I read the same books she's reading and she asks me to read books she especially likes.

Many, many books for kids from first grade up do mention or even feature death and dying. As kids get older -- not much older than your son is now -- many books involve the supernatural (vampires are not just for teen romance novels; there are comical vampire characters in younger kids' books), fantasy, sprawling battles. Other books that are realistic fiction will depict realistic battles, war, deaths of school-age kids ("Bridge to Terabithia" is a classic novel, and a main child character dies) etc.

In other words, he's quickly going to encounter much, much more of all this, both in assigned reading and especially in what he brings home from the school library and what other kids in his class like to read -- kids do tell each other, "You've got to read this." You cannot protect him from everything, and encountering death and even autopsies in fiction and nonfiction is a good way to introduce kids to these topics. In a book it's still abstract to them, and you can talk through things (like you did with your very good description of an autopsy) without their having to face the harsh reality themselves just yet.

I spent several years volunteering in the school library and that really taught me a lot about elementary level books and their huge variety. Many are just there to attract kids who don't like to read all that much but who might pick up a book about a "wimpy kid" or a comical vampire. But many are excellent books that open your child's mind. I really do recommend that you try to volunteer in the school library whenever you can -- most librarians welcome parent help shelving books, checking out books, etc. Ask if you can work when your child's class has its library "class" or period. It really does show you a lot about kids' books and you can find ones to suggest that you son check out!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

No, my son is in first grade and doesn't know what an autopsy is. ( I should add, though, that he knows all about mummification/removal of organs/embalming, thanks to his fascination with mummies). I think your explanation of it is fine. Death happens and some people need to examine the dead... if you are concerned, read the book with him (since it's assigned) and talk about it. I have found that this is the best way to deal with 'over a child's head' content-- read it yourself/with the child and bring it up. Even some very appealing children's books have some profound acts of violence in them that parents today wouldn't approve of. For instance, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books discuss a lot of conflict and moments which were 'just life' at the time or even a little scary, but the overall content of the book is very strong, virtuous, and moral. I think back in that day, those events were just one part of life; now we have protected our kids so much, they need some realistic guidance and introduction to those topics.

So, maybe not overprotective, but I do understand your sensitivity about this stuff. I ALWAYS feel that it's better for my son to learn these thing first from me, and to be able to get good information, than just not saying anything and letting him try to figure them out. :) And I do have to agree with others-- this book IS developmentally appropriate for most 8 year olds.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Well done on your definition! When my children were second-graders they did not know what an autopsy was. But if the subject had come up, I wouldn't have minded talking to them about it - especially if I could have come up with as good an explanation as you did.

I like the idea of letting children be children. Knowledge can be a great burden. But if it comes up in a book, just handle it as you did.

5 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

Yes, my children know what those things are and have known since before second grade. My son loves Dan Greenburg. Death is a natural part of life. They know that. It helps them to believe in an afterlife where they will see people they love - it makes it less scary. But what if something were suddenly to happen to you or another family member - not having any comprehension of death does them no good.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes. My first grader knows what it is. Maybe not in the real world sort of thing though. They've never met one or came into contact with one or went to a funeral home/mortuary.

I watch a lot of TV and a lot of that is shows like Castle, NCIS, Bones, Rissoli and Isles, and more. They watch them with me when they come in the room.

My sister was really protective with her daughter too. She would preview movies and if there were scenes that she didn't like but the rest of the movie was okay she'd copy the tape and skip the parts she didn't want her daughter to see.

The first time my niece saw Dirty Dancing with the scene where Patrick is taking off her top in his cabin and where they looked into each others eyes while wet and pointy she was shocked, she told her friends that those scenes weren't in her movies and where did they come from....

She grew up okay but is much less restrictive with her own children.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Mine doesn't, but if he found out about it from a book, I'd probably be okay with it. And I'm pretty protective -- especially around issues of violence -- too.

Kids this age have a natural, healthy curiosity about death. I think the right response is to give clear, simple, age-appropriate responses -- exactly, precisely what you did.

Sadly, eventually, your son will lose someone in his life. Everyone does. The kids who handle it best are often the ones whose parents don't make a taboo of death -- who make it clear that it's fine and appropriate to ask questions on the topic.

So, I think you handled it great. But I wouldn't be troubled by this particular book.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Yes, she did. By that age, she knew what dead was, and had watched our vet perform a necropsy on a cat.

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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

No, I don't think so BUT if she does it wouldn't bother me. Unfortunately my daughters are familiar with death as last year my grandmother and father-in-law (their grandpa) passed away and both of them were at the wake and funeral. Death is a part of life.

What does concern me is the stuff that they are hearing about on the playground during recess!

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G.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Never read the book, or heard of them for that matter but from your small description it sounds like the book is exploring the imagination of a child, not the actual industry. Even if a child knows the definition of an autopsy, vaguely understands the process, they do not fully understand it and it would seem that is the point of the book.

I hope.

Because if the author doesn't know that morticians do not perform autopsies, and didn't google that, wow!

See reading that, that is exactly how the child's mind works when it comes to things like death, those who's occupations are part of the process of after death. I know, my ex's family owns funeral homes. The questions I got from their friends at that age, cute in a very strange way. Some actually thought we brought bodies home with us.

Kids are funny about the unknown.

So yes, considering my children entered their first funeral home when they weren't even a week old, they knew, they actually understood. Didn't hurt them one bit.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My third grader knows what an autopsy is, and I'm pretty sure he has since before second grade. I seem to remember my sixth grader saying he wanted to be a forensic pathologist in second or third grade. I think you are being too overprotective.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

just asked my 10 yo and 8 yo no they didn't know, but I don't mind the knowledge but might care how it's presented, I wouldn't let them watch CSI but I don't mind them reading a children's book that discusses it tastefully as a possible career or something.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

while i wouldn't go out of my way to 'introduce' the idea of autopsies to a child this old, nor would i throw myself bodily in front of her to 'protect' her.
it's simply a reality. no need to present it in gruesome grisly technicolor, nor to disguise it in euphemism and whispers.
just like all other uncomfortable topics, you just present it simply, honestly and in as few words as possible. your answer sounds exactly right to me.
khairete
S.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

No my third grader does not know what an autopsy is. I would be Ok if he did. If my child was upset by the book I would tell the teacher, if he was not upset by the book it would be OK

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S.F.

answers from Fargo on

My kids knew from a very early age because of a total idiot of a man seated at the table next to us at Cracker Barrel. He loudly regaled his dinner companions, and everyone in earshot, about his day repairing an elevator that services the county morgue. I don't know how he was allowed to see all that he did, or if he was being truthful about his experience, but your description, and the book your son read, is MUCH more appropriate than what my kids had to hear. UGH!

You did a great job!

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

No she doesnt but a book is a good place to learn.

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

I don't think so, but my daughter knows what a corpse is, because on "Wreck-It Ralph" the female Sergeant tells Fix-It Felix that there was no corpse in the pod, which indicated Ralph had made it out alive, and she asked me what a corpse was and I told her it is a dead body. She also knows we all die and that passing away is normal and has even been to a few funerals (more than me, I have only been to two!). As long as they don't see an actual autopsy yet, which they're probably too young to comprehend, I don't see what the harm is in telling them what it consists of. They will pretty much explore autopsies and do their own (on animals, of course) in their biology class when they are older, although the difference in that is that there's no search for cause of death, it's just dissecting the different organs.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

It just never came up, so no.
That being said, I would not censor what they read at all.
If they are READING, that's great! With the exception of ADULT books. :)
By that I mean ADULT. Anything else, so many books, so little time...

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

my son has known since he was about 5...

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