Do You Think That Finance Issues Cause Divorce

Hey R.! What a great question! Bottom line, I think that anything can lead to divorce if you are not committed to your spouse. Anything. Finances are one of those "hot" areas within a marriage, which reveals your priorities and character more quickly than just about anything else.

I've been married for 12 years this year and have experienced all of the ups and downs that come along with uniting as one with another person. Just this year I have decided to finally submit to my husband fully and completely in the area of finances. This has been a point of conflict for us for years. Let me tell you, I AM FREE!!! I am joyfully submitting to my husband as to the Lord. Sounds kinda "out there" for those that don't understand what godly submission is, but I can say with authority that had I understood this earlier in my marriage, a lot of those rough patches would have been MUCH smoother.

Back to your question, financial matters reveal the state of the heart and character of the soul. If those are out of whack, then you can expect marital woe, which could lead to divorce. Something to think about...

Best wishes!! Warmly - J.

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There are staggering statistics about finance and divorces. I am currently leading a Financial Peace University class at my church. It is a great program through Dave Ramsey that teaches you how to manage your money and save for the future. Look him up, he has a great web-site and if you ever get the opportunity to take a financial peace class I highly recommend it. My husband and I have grown closer and we argue less about the money. We now know how to work together. It also has helped me organize other areas of my life. You are welcome to contact me if you want more info.

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I think anytime you are in a stressful situation, it is more difficult to balance emotions. many people are not raised with great coping skills to begin with. And many of us were raised without being aware of finances in the home, so do not know how to deal with them in a constructive manner.

I would say the financial difficulties can compound other issue due to the stress. There most likely are other issues that may have been able to be worked out that become focal and bigger than they would have without the stress of the financial situation. Does it actually cause an environment for divorce? I suppose it could, but I would think that there are more issue than just that.

C. Hiebel
www.braveheartwomen.com/kolohe

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R.,

In my opinion finance issues can only lead to divorce if there is no open communication and team work to fix the situation. My family is a great example of this. I can talk with you in detail if it will help just send me a personal message...

The key is to talk about the finances, plan, and spend money sensibly. Create a budget together and stick to it.

Some couples argue and fight and some just deal with finances. I take my fiancial difficulty over argueing any day. We rarely argue over finances as well. Sometimes, but it doesn't last very long and we have a solution or plan by the end of the discussion.

A.

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Hi R.,

This is absulutely opinion, so take it for what it's worth. I believe that no one thing leads to divorce. Yes, one thing, such as being a bad financially minded person can definitely start the ball rolling, however, there are usually other underlying issues that need to be dealt with as well.

Just talking from experience. I have had a huge uphill battle with my husband about the same thing...he was born with a silver spoon and has no concept of being responsible financially.

Best of luck.

A.

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R.,
It is sort of funny that this questiom comes up this morning because my husband and I were just discussing this. I think that it COULD if not dealt with properly. The situation with me is that I feel like I carry the burden of making sure that all the bills get paid. We both work but when it comes to actually figuring out what bill gets paid when...I am the one that does it. My husband was never out on his own before we got married (we have only been married for a little over a year) so I guess that is why...he does not know how. I think if both people work TOGETHER on it and discuss all the major spending, paying the bills, saving money, etc. there should be no problem. But when the lines of communication are not open and one is spending money unnecessarily and the other one feels like they are trying to save money that is going to cause a lot of conflict. That happened in the early months of our marriage. My husband loves to spend money and I hate to spend money so he would take money out of our savings account and that really did not sit well with me because he would not tell me I would just have to check the account and find it that way. I think anything CAN cause divorce if it is not dealt with properly and the lines of communication are not open. I hope this helps.

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Statistically when couples were polled about reasons for divorce finances were the number one reason. I believe that however it is a major factor but you ultimately have to decide has my marriage came down to the point where we can no longer live as one dt money. I like another person mentioned have all the financial burden in our household. I am very good with saving and math so I brunt all of the bill writing and also budgeting in our household. My husband is very free spirited and of the mind set if I work 40 hours a week I should be able to buy whatever I want as I am anal (I guess you could say) and work toward a goal of paying off my house 10 years earlier and sending my son to the college of his choice. My husband and I met when we were 18 and have been the best of friends since but money has caused the biggest fights we have ever had. Because I love him and value having him in my life we have set down and sometimes it has been some ugly, long fights but have came to some agreement. I believe that money is worldly and as I am my husband are of the Christian faith when I feel this issue or others are leading us to fight especially with our economy and oncoming recession I just have to pray and remember what God has blessed me with and how I can not imagine living a day without Travis (my hubby) in my life.

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Money is a big factor in a relationship and having money problems adds to the stress and can be hard to fix. I do that it an be a big factor in divorce. You become unhappy and start drifting. Its very important to know how to communicate.

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R.,
Finance issues do not lead divorce, they only exacerbate it. The key to divorce is usually when one or both parties have lost respect and love for the other. When those 2 things are gone, everything else comes into play. Most times it seems money is the most prominent factor in a divorce, but that is only because one person decides that the other is not worth having a certain amount of money. When we start equating money with the value of our selves, it not the money that is the issue but rather our self worth.
If, however, you think you might divorce in the future, please be smart and start stashing away some money privately where it cannot be traced asap. Divorces are not easy but knowing that after it is over, you have some money to get you back on your feet, is a treemdous relief and boost to your self esteem and well being. Take this advise from someone who has experience in this.

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I agree with Amber that no one thing can lead to divorce. That being said, financial strain can definitely open the door to other problems. Worrying about money all of the time can make people resentful(especially if the burden is placed on one of the spouses while the other doesn't help pay bills or budget). As married partners, we have a tendency to blame each other for money problems instead of accepting responsibility for our own part and working as a team to fix them. Plus, when the money is not there, you have to find creative ways to have "dates" and make time for each other. Unfortunatly with busy lives, we tend to get lazy and forget that a happy marriage takes work and spending time together(especially without the kids).

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I do believe strongly that it can lead to divorce. My husband and I have our biggest fights over money. I am currently taking the Dave Ramsey financial peace university class at church. Dave Ramsey says that money is a leading cause of divorce in marriages. I can see why now! This course has been a great help to both us.

Best of luck.

Absolutely. My dad was a family law attorney for many years and that is the number 1 reason for most couples to split. If anyone you know is facing these issues in their marriage then it would be best to talk to someone about it. If not a marriage counselor then maybe a financial counselor so that both parties can come together on what they expect and want with their finances.

I found it interesting that most of the financial issues that others have brought up so far were with regards to handling debt or the spouses have differing spending habits. There are other financial issues that can cause stress in a marriage too, such as who has the burden of managing the finances and whether the couple is able to make joint decisions regarding financial planning. Other problems can arise when one spouse makes more than another (particularly if the wife and mother is earning more than her "breadwinner" spouse-- even now bucking those societal expectations can be stressful).

In our marriage, we don't have any problems with debt or overspending, but my husband avoids money issues like the plague, leaving me to handle all of the bills and to do all financial planning (leading to resentment that I have all of that responsibility and also meaning that it will be my fault if things don't work out right) while at the same time resisting fully merging our finances. It turns out that he had observed so many failed unions where his buddies were wiped out financially (and never saw how a couple could have joint finances and financial goals, since his parents were never married and both remained single) that he didn't want to deposit his paycheck into our joint bank account because we could possibly separate someday. That was a problem/fear I hadn't anticipated!
My point is that money may primarily be a subject where people end up exposing their insecurities, their control issues, their immaturity (or evasion of responsibility), etc. so while financial issues may be cited as a major cause of divorce, I agree with the other respondents that it's probably only partially to blame and may really just be a symptom of other deeper issues.

Not really. Financial responsibility isn't genetic - it's a learned skill.

So, if the couple isn't giving the financial aspect of their relationship a healthy start or even an antibiotic to get it better (taking a few basic accounting-type courses or getting with a financial counselor on the job or with CCC to work on their budget or high-debt issues), then that causes stress. Stress, if not handled properly, causes us to say and do things that we normally wouldn't do if the finances (and our hearts) weren't in good shape.

So, no, it's not finance issues that lead to divorce. It's the inability of the family unit/relationship to take financial responsibility seriously enough for it not to cause problems. It's all a matter of control and when things are out of control, you can't point a finger at one particular source when things go sour.

If an "expert" is pointing a blame finger at one aspect of a martial difficulty, I'd steer clear of that advice because it's very close-minded and not helpful at all.

I think that it CAN be the number one cause of divorce!! You have to work together at finance issues and TALK all of the time. A good place to start is to listen to Dave Ramsey. He is on am radio 660 in the early afternoon (I think it is 12-3--I listen when I am picking the kids up from school). You can also look him up on line and listen anytime, or get a podcast. He is fantastic. He is huge on budgets and working together to accomplish financially what you both want. You can even go to local churches who offer his course "Financial Peace University". IT IS SUCH A BLESSING!!

If you and your hubby can do it, it is ENORMOUSLY helpful. Listen for a couple of weeks and see if you do not WANT to talk about your budget and financial issues with your husband.

Hi R.!
My name is P. Martin and I am a registered General,Civil, Business, and Domestic Mediator in the state of Georgia as well as an RCI licensed Relationship Coach. I am also a co-facilitor of the New Beginnings Marriage/Family class. I have been married for 21 years and have 2 beautiful children.

I have had the opportunity to study and teach relationship skills for a very long time so I can say without a doubt that poor finance affects the marriage relationship! I have also facilitated divorce mediations where finance was the key reason for divorce. As a matter of fact, statistics say finance is the # 1 reason for divorce in the US. Don't fret, it can be managed! As soon as one sees financial issues becoming a threat to the marriage, it is important for the husband and wife to decide: 1) No matter what happens, we are in this together and will work together to find a solution. 2) Because we know there are financial issues, we will seek financial counseling which will include budgeting and possibly debt consolidation 3) Pray for wisdom, and guidance as you go through this difficult time in your relationship, because it is God's will that families stay together! 4) Seek alternative ways to make residual income (ex: I became a prepaid legal representative to offset some of our financial responsibilities. Here is my website if you want to check it out: www.prepaidlegal.com/go/paulaymartin. It does not require alot of time, and I can do it as another leg to my current business.) 5) Know that you are not alone and that it normal for conflict to occur in marriages! The key is deciding to resolve the conflict in the right way which will make your relationship much stronger in the long run!

Peace to you and yours,
P.

I don't think finance issues cause divorce but they can start arguments/fights and then it just leads to more problems.