Do You Think I Should Homeschool My Daughter?

I think this is up to you and your daughter, not the physician. If she feels that's the environment she needs to be able to learn, then by all means do it. The desire is there, and that spark is really all you need.

She knows herself and her limits best, and you as her parent, second. A doctor can only give "medical" recommendations. A doctor isn't going to school for her, doesn't know the environment, and probably won't know what her learning capacity is. Furthermore, a doctor specializing in psychiatry/psychology (not sure which type of doctor you're seeing) probably won't have the kind of insight on education that you seem to be looking for. Apples and oranges.

There are many ways to go about homeschooling. Contrary to what some have suggested, there are plenty of options and resources out there that are suitable to both the parent and child that make homeschooling doable. You don't need special degrees to teach your child well. You just need to know where to go for resources and to find the best fit for you and your child.

Go to www.hslda.org and click on "about homeschooling," on the main menu/tool bar at the top of the page, then click on "getting started" for some information on getting started, where to get curriculum, where to find co-ops and support groups in your area, and even a link to resources and support for special needs families (which might be helpful for some of your concerns).

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1

As some have mentioned, if you want to go through your local public school to homeschool, or a cyber/online charter school there probably is information available on your district's website with information on getting started.

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Taking her out to homeschool wont make her a hermit. She does go out doesn't she? Just put her in some activity's with kids her age. For homeschool support you should join a yahoo group and talk to people who are doing it for advice. She will not have to live with you for life if you homeschool her geese people!

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Sounds like a question for her treating physician. Good luck.

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I took my daughter out for some of these same reasons. She is doing so much better. I plan on putting her back into the high school, she is 13 and in 7th grade now. It has helped tremendously. We started in 5th grade.

Get her involved in sports, swimming is good. Also youth groups, music lessons, a taequondo type class. Mine takes fening and loves it. THere are two very shy young ladies on our class, my daughter and another and they can whoop some a$$ on these boys.

Help her. Give her the tools at home she needs to get through the last year in high school. She will gain so much confidence being at home doing Geometry or whatever, where she can stop and ask over and over and not look stupid.

Go online there are tons of resources.

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Strong 2nd for going to yahoo groups and explaining the situation and ask for advice from other homeschooling parents. They'll be able to give you a lot of "on the ground" info from different methods/philosophies (most teenagers are 90-100% in charge of their education, btw, with the parent just touching base with them... not all... but most), resources to look into from local/state/curriculum/etc., common pitfalls to avoid walking into face first, etc.

If you're secular... I'm a pretty active member of this SUPER active board on yahoo groups http://groups.yahoo.com/group/secular_homeschoolers/ You'll need a yahoo account (free), and then they do a check to make sure your're not spamming. Typically takes less than 24 hours to get approved (moderated board). Just type in "Considering HS'ing" or Thinking about HS'ing in the message header. We have several thousand members, so it's a PHENOM place for info and resources.

I'd also use your DAUGHTER as a huge resource. If she's been wanting to HS for a few years now... have her break out her research (or start researching) so you two can make a decision TOGETHER.

And for a quick laugh... DO check out this site as well. It's very very comforting.

http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschoo...

Mmmm... and also, do know that the ivy leagues are actually scouting HS'ers like sports schools scout athletes. Our kids have are 6x more likely to get into an ivy than traditionally schooled kids. So if she's afraid about college... DO make her start researching that aspect. It's something that before I committed to HS'ing was large on my radar.

Oh... and ON the topic of "now = always"... it doesn't. Your daughter has several big things going on (anxiety, depression, etc.). NO ONE would say "Keep your daughter in school" if she had any OTHER kind of big medical reason to take a break for awhile. Taking a year (6mo at this point) purely to get on the right meds (can take several months to find the right ones and the right balance) and get into a good place therapy wise is sooooo "Okay". So at the very least, give yourself permission during this acute medical crisis. Seriously. If she spends the next several months failing classes because of med & psych issues... what's the point of being in traditional school? A more thorough sense of misery & failure?

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Oh, yes! You can do this. She has been asking for you to homeschool. That is so wonderful. Studies have shown that homeschooled children more often end up as leaders later because they have that one-on-one attention from the person in the world who loves them most. They are affirmed of this love constantly, daily, as mother labors with them in their schooling. They are not constantly compared to some random level of achievement. They excell at their own pace. For things they understand, they fly. For things they don't, they stroll. But, nobody is waiting on them to catch up, and nobody is trying to catch up with them. It's all built around their level of understanding. No pressure at all! But, fun, comprehension, and hopefully, great joy and love in the family as they work together. You should read the book, Upgrade! by Kevin Swanson. It is excellent, and explains the benefits of homeschooling from the perspective of the student. I think your daughter will be able to relax and excell under your care and love. By the way, I don't know any homeschooling hermits. :) We tend to be extremely busy with our social calendar! We love to spend time with others in various capacities. It's a great way of life!

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Can she Cyber school? Our district lets you CS and still graduate with your class.

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Definitely don't homeschool. It'll make it easier for your daughter in the short run b/c she won't have to face her fears but it'll make it worse in the long run. I have social anxiety and am thus speaking from experience. The best therapy for it is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Look into it and ask your therapist about it as well...it might do you good to find a therapist who specializes in CBT, especially for social anxiety. Best of luck,

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Good question. Tricky. I would ask the doctors that diagnosed her. They will be more educated to tell you what will help and what will hurt her.

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that's a hard one, i'm not a pro or ne thing, but really, to keep her from getting in the habit of turning into a hermit and making it worse, if you do home school her, she needs to be in SOMETHING to keep her socialized whether a sport or a club. with her in 10th grade, this late in school, i would'nt say home schooling is best, if she was smaller, maybe...for as old as she is, i would focus more on "can't let your disablility get the best of you" type attitude, and staying in a public school may help.

but your best judge would probably be your dr

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I would say there are two big questions:

1. What does her therapist suggest about homeschooling? Would it be beneficial or a setback? You need a professional opinion on this one. ETA: Therapists are definitely qualified to offer input on this. Our son's was able to share what he knew from working with all of his patients and encouraged us to put our son in a daycare environment when homeschooling was a disaster (until our son was old enough to be treated for his ADHD and return to school, which wasn't long after). The therapist was right on with his recommendation. Therapists can tell you what they've seen work well and not so well with patients with the same or similar problems.

2. Do YOU want to homeschool? Seriously, it's not for everyone. I had to homeschool our son when he was kicked out of preschool due to his ADHD and I HATED it. My degree and professional experience are not related to teaching, so I felt totally ill-prepared. I lasted all of one month with homeschooling. I know a lot of people are gung-ho homeschooling, but you need to be passionate yourself about doing it, not forced to by circumstance.

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kudos to you for taking this into consideration. I do not homeschool and have mixed views of it - but know many people who have done it well and successfully. A friend of mine had a daughter who also went through a period with some social issues and was miserable at school. She homeschooled for a year and then went back to HS. The daughter is doing wonderfully. As long as you continue counseling and don't let your daughter avoid all social settings I think you can do this just fine. HS is a very tough place these days - even harder than when we were there. The education is the important part here. Good luck.

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I think you would benefit from some professional advice, to be honest. You need to tread carefully here so that she doesn't end up living with you for the rest of her days. There needs to be some way of helping her prepare for life on her own, and that's where professionals coming in and advising you would probably help the most.

Good luck in your decision.
D.

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I don't think it would hurt her at all. There are support groups and homeschool co-ops you can join so she is still interacting with other kids but not in such huge numbers.

I have a 12yo son with Aspergers Syndrome and I homeschool him for many of the same reasons your daughter is experiencing. He is doing soo much better, no outbursts, no anxiety, no anger.

I also have an 18yo daughter that is a Senior at our local high school. Last year she was sick so many days, we finally just pulled her out and homeschooled her for the year. Some of her illness was stress related and this helped her SO much. She's back in public school this year and doing great, all A's and B's on her report card and more confident than ever.

I would sit down with her & ask what her reasons are, her expectations, and you share your expectations and concerns. I think you'll find it will bring you both closer together & it will help boost her confidence.

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I'm not sure that homeschooling is the answer and I am generally against it, but I have to say, high school is a horrible place for anyone that is different. I hated high school and I used to wish my parents would move to another state so I could start over someplace new. Is there a different school you could send her to that would better meet her needs? Perhaps a smaller school or one with more accepting peers. I would discuss it with her doctor before making any decisions on this one and then let your daughter in on the discussion.

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We have had very good results, so far, with our 16 year-old who has homeschooled since 10th grade (in his second year of homeschooling).

Despite being a good student and athlete, and being generally liked by his peers, he really detested school and rarely spoke in school (known for being a "quiet" kid).

Two highly qualified experts (one board certified) advised me AGAINST homeschooling him. Since I had homeschooled my younger child for a few years I was more comfortable with the idea and decided to give it a try anyway.

This child has really blossomed - the very first year homeschooling he performed in two major roles for a our local theater. He also discovered a love for music that we never knew he had. He played basketball and football (which he had done while in school). So it has been a net gain for him.

That being said - the other moms made great suggestions. Be sure to get multiple opinions from qualified people (not that they are always right but it does help to hear different perspectives). Make sure that you are "up" for homeschooling. Make sure that you have activities for her to do so that she doesn't isolate herself (the nice thing is she can go in the direction that really interests her). If you're nervous with curriculum investigate whether you have virtual school in your school district - FLVS (Florida Virtual School) was VERY helpful to us. They have honors and AP classes also.

If I were you I would seek out local homeschool support groups - especially for purposes of high school transcripts (and management thereof).

As a mom I really had to listen to my heart on this issue. I prayed alot about it too. It was very scary, but it has worked out well for us so far (not saying that it will for you - every situation is unique).

Good luck - wish you guys all the best.

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When my fourth son was in eighth grade he started having some social problems. That, along with his ability to learn well on his own, prompted me to take him out of school the following year and homeschool him. We had three great years together. I gave him the lessons for the day and he basically taught himself, with guidance and assessment from me. We had wonderful discussions and he read extensively. After three years I decided to enroll him in school. He was in an IB program, they accepted nearly all of his credits, and he graduated salutatorian of his class--and he was voted the most popular student by his peers. He's 21 now, a junior in college, and doing wonderfully. He's president of a student organization and very actively involved in campus life. I've always felt that the three years away from school gave him a safe place to help him grow and become better prepared for the world.

I'd like to add a few words about my experiences with all of my kids. I controlled the educational decisions for my first three, with mixed results. Through my fourth I learned to listen more to my kids. My fifth son used to be painfully shy and I actually suggested homeschooling a number of times but he always refused. He's now a senior and much more able to open up and participate. Recently we've been working with my youngest, along with his counselor, about different options including early graduation and taking college courses during his last two years. I think it's very, very important to allow your teen to take the lead in these decisions and I've learned this from experience. Just ask my three oldest kids!

Homeschool her if you feel qualified and if you can continue to socialize her in school study groups, team sports, music or art or drama club lessons. She still needs that other wise going back her senior year and getting jobs and such will be very difficult. I really feel she would benefit from behavioral therapy and/or counseling as well to transition her from this hard time, b/c in just a few short years she will be out in the world on her own and she needs to learn the skills to cope and thrive. Best of luck to your both!

Homeschooling is so different in so many different situations, I think it would largely depend on how you handled it.

Do you think your daughter will benefit from NOT interacting with other kids? Or will it let her 'avoid' the issue- but eventually she will have to go back and join her peers and the problem will still be there?

I think you need to talk extensively with her doctor before just pulling her out to homeschool her. It could be just the break she needs- or it could allow her to become even less social and retreat further into herself.

Have you talked to her teachers and admin at school? Is there some specific reason she is having such anxiety about school= social pressures, bullying, etc? Maybe just a smaller school or group of really close friends could help her more? Does she attend any type of group therapy or counseling?

Also- what are your qualifications for homeschooling? Have you taught before- do you feel confident in your ability to teach math, history, etc. to your daughter? I know you mean well, but you will have to be very well prepared to teach your daughter at home and keep her from falling behind.

There are so many different resources for homeschooling now, both educational and social that you can use. But it sounds like just that won't overcome your daughter's troubles.

Talk to the doctor- talk to your daughter about specifically WHY she thinks homeschooling will help her and how she plans to socialize, etc. if she does that. It sounds like it would not be a solution on its own, but maybe could help, but only under the right circumstances.

good luck!

My initial response is NO. However, there are so many things to take into consideration. I think this is something that you and her need to discuss with her, her doctor, and her therapist. You need to look at all the aspects and how it will affect both of you both short term and long term.

Also, are you prepared to homeschool her? Are you up to date on all the subjects she's taking? I can't help my 15 yo with most of her homework, much less teach it to her. It's been way too long since I've done algebra.

you say she is in counseling - have you considered raising this issue with her therapist? It seems to me that acquiescing to your daughter's wish for home schooling will "reward" her in some way and may result in increased social anxiety etc. Her therapist could probably offer some useful input.

take it from someone that knows myself. the more you let her be at home the harder it will be to leave. years ago i was house bound for over a year. its no fun. she really needs to try to push herself forward. god bless her, R.

J., I am sorry for the issues your daughter is going through and will offer my opinion, which may or may not be embraced by others.

I think if I were in your shoes, I would agressively pursue counseling, but stick with school. I would seriously worry you might be positively reinforcing her condition by keeping her home.

I base this opinion on a situation I have personally experienced. My sister suffered depression her Sr year of HS and was allowed to only go to school 1/2 day (she didn't need the credits to graduate). She will even admit now that she always felt like this gave her permission to quit other things later in life when they got hard.

Best of luck to you all!!

Are you qualified to do so? Maybe you can find someone that homeschools and talk about it. There is a lot involved with such a task. Good luck.