Future Effects of Homeschooling

Studies show that homeschooled children grow into productive members of society with no "awkwardness."

I would argue (and my kids do attend public school, but I'd homeschool if I could), that public school places limits on a child's potential. They pigeonhole children and make them into pliable "workers." That's how public schools are designed...and have been since the industrial age. I want my kids to retain their individuality, not be forced to be like everyone else because it's easier.

Here's an article based on a recent study: http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/HomeschoolingGrowsU...

It cites the study in the article, so it should be easy to find.

ETA: And I agree with Julie. Most publicly schooled students are NOT ready for college when they graduate high school. That's why so much tuition is wasted on remedial math, english, and science courses. Unless your child is taking AP courses, they'll have a hard time making it in college.

I don't know of any studies, but I do know that upper tier universities have gotten very interested in home-schooled students, and the reasons cited include self-motivation, better critical thinking skills than their public school peers, and willingness to put effort into their studies. I also have several adult friends who were home-schooled. One is a world-class concert violinist who runs a strings preparatory program at a major university. Another is a college-level writing instructor. Another is an accountant. Another is a journalist. All are interesting, well-rounded, effective, socially adept people.

One of these friends does have a few regrets about being home-schooled - he felt isolated. From what I've heard about his parents, I am not surprised. They are not people who enjoy the company of others. The thing is, after a few years at home, his folks realized that he needed a more social learning environment and would perform adequately there, so they returned him to a classroom environment. The others have no regrets. The violinist is thankful, because had she been required to squeeze learning the violin around school schedules, she probably wouldn't have risen to the level she has attained in her field.

Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and most of our founding fathers (and unacknowledged but important founding mothers) were at least partly home-educated.

I homeschool and my entire extended family is homeschooled for two generations. My 19-year-old cousin just graduated with straight A's from COLLEGE she was so far ahead throughout school. She is starting a great job and has lots of missionary work under her belt too. I can only share the experience of dedicated, educated, organized homeschoolers who did an exemplary job homeschooling, as I have no direct experience with bad homeschoolers-which I'm sure are out there. All of these kids I know grew up WAY AHEAD in academics. They started community work, jobs, missionary work etc at younger ages than most. They did scouts and sports, etc. Their social network is massive and they are very mature and socially SKILLED. They are Christian homeschoolers with huge families (at least 7 kids each, many of whom are now homeschooling their own kids) so they were able to infuse their spiritual beliefs into their academics.

I'm doing a Classical curriculum (not religious but studies all religions in context of world history every year) simply to make up for the massive amount of material lacking in our local school. When I researched how much kids SHOULD learn in each grade, and how much they USED to learn in the 70s and 50s, etc, and how much kids learn in OTHER countries, and then interviewed our local school: There was no way I could waste my kids' entire days in school while they didn't learn enough. And supplementing would take too many outside-of-school hours. In other words, they wouldn't have time for their academics if they were in school all day. My first grader is reading at a fourth grade level, very well familiar with ancient history on a young level which we're studying this year, medieval times next year, up through moderns in fourth..she's working through a thorough math curriculum and loving science experiments. Her handwriting and spelling are great. We also have tons of hands-on activities in the community with our large homeschool network (with NO more awkward kids in it than a pubic school would have-and the environment is very warm and accepting of all-not bullying etc there are quite a few special needs kids) and are totally free and flexible to travel which has enabled lots of other learning. We took a few week days last month to travel New England seeing different art galleries including Winslow Homer show in Portland. She recognized a Mary Cassatt painting in the museum from one of her grammar books. All of her grammar and reading comes form classic literature instead of "whatever" books. She has Tae Kwon Do classes and lots of free play time and friends, and has been playing violin and piano for over two years which her younger siblings are starting. She would NOT have time for all this if she was in school all day. But as it sands, she has lots of down time, play time, and time for all social activities, music practice and school work.

I do wish all this could be learned by plopping her on the bus each day to participate in a rigid institutionalized setting with a class all her age....sometimes I worry that I'm not doing that since I went to public school....and I could certainly use the time for myself each day if I sent her..Homeschooling is HARD WORK.....but I am thrilled with how much she's learning, and how happy she is. She has friends in school and when I hear what they're studying in class it's everything in me not to just straight up tell the parents how WAY TOO EASY the material is for kids that age...

You're right, what I love the most is when she "gets things" we move on (so she's way ahead) but when she DOESN'T, we can focus as long as necessary so she doesn't fall through any cracks.

I don't know about scientific info, as obviously, bad homeschoolers would have poor results and great ones have stellar results....maybe you can look into a network and get to know some homeschoolers your husband can meet and talk to. The homeschooling friends I know get very high test results, but again, they're good homeschoolers.

I taught middle school. We had many kids who started with us in sixth grade who had previously been homeschooled. There were children who were socially awkward. Some of our homeschool kids had some time adjusting being into a larger setting. Some kids just never acclimated to the idea of public school, it was overwhelming. Some of these kids were just "different'.

BUT, the kids who had a well rounded homeschool education did just fine. You would have no idea that they were ever homeschooled until they told you. These were the kids whose parents expected them to work independently...not hand holding through every assignment. These kids were involved in lots of activities and very social. Often these kids were even more social and popular, because they could communicate so well. Most of this group was ahead of the other students and often in advanced classes.

So if you are willing to put in the work it takes, it will be just fine. If you husband is concerned about social awkwardness there are many ways to be involved in a group setting that don't involve school (scouting, sports, homeschool groups, church, etc.). I definitely think homeschooling is a case of you get what you give.

If I were you I would contact some homeschooling groups in your area. Ask if you can sit in on some lessons. This should be a good indicator of the dynamics and also of what the kids are like. The homeschool kids that I have known are a little different but that is not necessarily bad. They seen more innocent(?) than PS kids but are definitely more precocious as well. I don't want to go as far as to say 'spoiled' but they are definitely kids that are used to most things revolving around them.

-I can tell you right now before I even hit post that I will get flamed for saying that b/c I have found HS parents to be EXTREMELY defensive of their decision. Because of this I would really look beyond this forum for input.

ETA-I want to second Dawn's advice about how qualified a parent should be. We had a family move into our neighborhood this year who had homeschooled but decided to do public because of our district. Well, the kids were way behind their peers and needed much remediation. This came as a big surprise to their parents who thought they were fine.

My almost 8 year old has never been inside a public (or private) school. I've homeschooled from the start. She is outgoing, friendly, HAS friends, as is not stunted at all.

Of course, we go to church a few times a week, she goes to Awana, and we go to play times at the library so she has plenty of interaction. We also have play dates with good friends, and during the summer she plays with one of our neighbors.

We school through the K12 program...check it out! We are in MN too, so you'd be in the MNVA along with us. They have TONS of social outings (in fact, they're going skating at the Depot this week with a big winter party), online "classes" at least once a week with their "homeroom" class, lots of online "clubs" you can join where all the kids get together (my daughter is in three clubs), etc. Then, of course, you can always still have them in church, Awana, girl scouts, 4-H, whatever outside activities you like.

It's an AWESOME curriculum...very advanced, and you can work at your own pace. Just one example...they start History in K (no public schools around here start history before 5th grade) and just keep going full force with it. My daughter is in second grade and chronologically has worked her way (JUST this year) through the rise and fall of Rome, the Byzantine Empire, and we're currently working on the move of the Barbarian tribes through Western Europe and the Dark Ages. How AWESOME is that for a 7 year old?

BTW, my daughter LOVES it.

Oh...two of my families at church homeschooled all the way through...one with 8 kids, one with 6...there are anything from military to vets to doctors to ministry candidates in their mix of grown children at this point, so I hope that's encouraging.

(Also, MNVA is considered a public school, is completely free and all curriculum including a computer is provided, and of course it's fully accredited.)

PM me if you want more info.

I have never homeschooled. I did do a lot of work with my kids when they were younger, though. Here is what I want to say about homeschooling, and I hope you will share my thoughts with your husband.

Homeschooling is different today than when your husband was young. Today, computers are mandatory. There are curriculums to use. There are schools to take your child to for higher level learning (like algebra and pre-calc and the like). There are homeschool groups that get together and there are online learning programs. There are sports teams that homeschoolers get involved in as well.

Homeschooling done with use of the above resources is a JOB for the parent who is homeschooling. It's a hard job, K.. You have to write up lesson plans every week. You have to hold your child to a schedule and hold yourself to a schedule. You have to gage where your child is on the academic scale because you don't have other children to compare him to.

There are women on this site who have written on here announcing their intention to homeschool, and ask "How do I teach my kid to read"? (The worst of these have been filled with misspellings and poor grammar.) Then they get really angry when people ask them why they want to homeschool when they don't know how to teach and don't know how to properly write. (In fact, they are nasty in their SWH's and don't care one wit that they are not in fact equipped to teach their children.) Those are the parents who are woefully ill equipped to be managing their children's educations. You obviously do not fall into that category, but you do need to watch out for those homeschool parents who do. And you will meet them.

If you do ultimately decide to homeschool, your husband needs to understand that this is a full time job and treat it like such. And yes, he'll need to spend money to get additional help outside of you, as in art lessons, music lessons, sports fees, foreign language lessons, etc.

I wish you much luck in deciding what to do here.

Dawn

Of the home-schoolers I have known what I have noticed is, what they get out of it is directly proportional to what you put into it. If you put a lot of effort making sure your child is engaged, learning, and socialized, then that is what they will get out of it. If you do the minimum, they get very little out of it.

But it doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition. You can homeschool through elem and then have her go to a traditional school, a charter school, or private school for junior high and high school.

The decision to homeschool or not should always be individual to the child in question, and it is a decision that should be revisited every year. My older two children (now 26 and 22) would not have flourished in a homeschool setting. We tried public school with my youngest child (now 15), but it was not the right fit for her. In addition to being held back in subjects she was excelling in, she was also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. At the advice of her therapist, we have homeschooled her since 6th grade. It has been the right thing for her. Now in 10th grade and healthier, she is preparing to take a class or two at the high school to prepare her to take college classes next year (as a junior in high school!). She is not socially awkward, despite the challenges of her anxiety. She has tons of friends and a very active social life. I also know dozens of graduated home schoolers who are either in college or graduated from college, living highly successful lives. I work with youth at our church, and I cannot think of a single home schooled student who is still living at home/not going to school or working.

Homeschooling is not without its challenges. As others have stated, it is crucial to be involved in a support group. Finding good curriculum can be difficult and time consuming, and sometimes it is hit-and-miss. Record keeping (if done correctly) is also time consuming. And there is the added challenge of being both teacher and mom. That can put additional stress on your relationship with your child (something to both consider and be aware of).

I commend you for putting so much thought into this decision, and especially for wanting to be on the same page as your husband. That is SO important! I wish you well and hope you can agree on what's best for your kiddo. :)

I think so much has to do with the parent conducting the homeschooling. A friend of mine has done it for years and she's college-educated. She has a good foundation in her own education to be able to teach effectively. I'm amazed when I hear all that she does with her kids. It sounds like they're getting a fantastic education. She partners with other homeschoolers, so the kids interact with other kids. They're also highly involved in extra curriculars.

However, I've also seen it done incorrectly. One friend posts on FB all the time comments like, "I wonder if this trip to Wal-mart counts as schooling today?"

I suspect there's a big variation in the results of homeschooling simply based on the education level of the parents and how they manage the process.

The homeschooled students I have met have been some of the most articulate, polite people I know. Their higher level thinking skills are much more advanced that the public school kids their same age. They have been extremely successful in their careers and many of them travel a lot and get along in many different cultures. Most parents home school for the same reasons you are.

I agree that finding a home school group now that fits your educational goals and philosophy could be very useful for your husband so he can see that home school does not equal isolated.

My only problem is with certain home school communities when parents home school in order to just teach a religious based curriculum that is extremely biased and inaccurate. They teach that the KluKluxKlan was a positive social club and that dinosaurs and people lived on earth at the same time, along with other shocking mistruths. I don't care if people want to teach their kids about religion, that is normal. But when they rewrite history and science to fit within their religion, that is harmful to their children.

Investigate homeschooling. There are options with group components. Several friends were or are homeschooling through a co-op, where they might all go to Mrs. Smith's house to learn Algebra, and to Mr. Arnold's house for music, etc. Most districts also have a provision for homeschoolers to do sports and other activities and some kids take just one or two classes in a classroom setting if they need instruction their parents cannot provide. If a homeschooler is isolated socially, IMO, then the parents haven't provided the opportunity.

One of my homeschooler friends was teaching other kids while taking his own college classes at 17. Another one I keep forgetting was homeschooled because he's not weird or awkward at all. He did a co-op program.

I would find a homeschooling group and speak to some of the members and ask to speak to their graduates. I think that's where you need to start vs finding the curriculum first. You don't need to do it their way, just know how kids turn out.

And, frankly, no one schooling option is what you have to stick with for all 13 years. I know people who have a kid homeschooled (the 17 yr old in college I mentioned earlier) with other kids in public or private school. A coworker put her younger daughter only into a small private school. A friend sent their daughter to boarding school. Someone else homeschooled for middle school and the kids asked to go back for HS. One family has relatives who thought about homeschooling but decided ultimately that Mom's job wouldn't allow her to be home and Dad, even though he's a smart guy and a SAHD currently, he didn't have the desire to be Teacher, too. Everyone makes their own choices. We put 1 and 2 through a combo of private and public and #3 is going to public school next fall. I think she gets more out of a school environment than I can offer at home and it doesn't mean I can't still teach her things.

Socialization is an easy fix. Your DH needs to be on board with the work of providing her a quality education at home and the social outlets will be easy to fit in.

Just so you know, attending kindergarten is NOT required in Minnesota. So that gives you another year to decide. My son didn't attend kindergarten and went to his full-day day care instead.

All kindergarten is for is to prepare kids to interact socially with other kids and get used to going to a school for a couple hours a day.

By the way, my son started school in first grade. Now he's in second grade and reading at a 4th grade level.

In Finland, which has the highest-achieving students in the world, does not allow children to start school until age 7, when they're more likely to be developmentally ready. They believe that kids need to be kids first, playing outside, having adventures, etc. before starting the daily grind. Setting that basic foundation is critical for future achievement.

Send a child to school --or push them to learn academic stuff--too early can set them up to fail, and therefore "hate" school, which is a tough attitude to break later.

I would reach out to your state university system. They would be able to pull up the demographic data for your state system. You would ask them about the "retention" rate of students who entered college from a homeschool setting as well as the "outcome data" for those students. Be prepared to wait a few days for the info, but it is available to them. You would contact the office of admissions for your closest branch. They will route you to the correct data person.

Good luck with this. People who successfully homeschool their children do not create socially awkward children. People who homeschool for the "wrong reasons" tend to have awkward children. People who do not recognize and appreciate the time, patience, creativity and balance needed within themselves to be "on" 100% of the time fail their children. Talk with local homeschooling groups before you make this decision. Right now you are romanticizing it... it's really hard work and you don't really get a "break". I do not homeschool my children because (desptie being an educator), I know that I could not do it.

Minnesota is a great state for homeschooling, and you are likely to find some great homeschool co-ops for things like field trips, extracurriculars, and just regular socializing. I don't have any hard facts to offer, but I know dozens of kids who were homeschooled, and all of them are wonderful, well-adjusted people.

Hi K.,
This keeps being a myth (and myths, like someone said are intended to frighten you away from your decision to home school) because there will be always people against home schooling and pro home schooling. Mostly it is just misinformation and ignorance. Socialization (the process through which a child learns the customs, behaviors, and expectations of certain culture/society) is better learned at home, in my opinion, and socializing (getting together for a social/common purpose) is obtained mostly through activities, trips, sports, church, organizations' participation, etc...., and homeschooled kids have all that and may be more.
As a home schooling mom, I can tell you that my kids have more friends than before (the older one attended PS 'til 3th grade, and I pulled him out to home school him) and he is always busy and having fun while learning what he needs to learn to be ready for college or university...and life.
Speaking of others, I can tell according to my experience that most of home schooled children "fit in" perfectly well in social environment. In my opinion, it is not a thing of "fit in" but how a kid "stands out", anyway....this is very well accomplished in homeschooling when kids have the opportunity to be enrolled in activities and sports but mostly HOW parents educate their children at home (this applies to all children not just homeschoolers).
Being a home schooling mom, and a former teacher, college professor, I can tell you that I have seen, as people say, "socially awkward children" in both public schools and homeschooling families, but this is just because of parenting style or raising approaches.
If you need to find real and good information about legalities and socialization and more look into HSLDA, Home School Legal Defense Association, it is very helpful. You can also ask to specific colleges, and they will give you further information. Good luck!
****Yes K., as other moms said H., home schooling is hard work if you want to do it right.Choose a formal and structured curriculum if you decide to do it, and keep testing your child periodically. You can make it fun, but it is a long and hard journey; however, it is very rewarding. Good luck!****

It depends on you the parent/teacher. Get the child socialized in events that most states have for homeschoolers, go places where they can be around others and learn at the same time, etc., etc. It is so much easier to learn when you aren't being distracted by having to line up, go here, do this that is not necessary in a home school situation. If the child takes advantage of it is such a great opportunity. You also are teaching them your values not having them taught things you may or may not agree with. I'd say go visit a home school group meeting if they have a group in your area.

I know quite a few friends and acquaintances that homeschool. They all have their own reasons for this alternative choice. I love to hear when parents want to do it for the freedom to teach at the child's pace and explore the world outside of a classroom. I cringe when I hear parents are doing it to keep their kids safe or because a teacher upset them.

I think you will get out of it what YOU put into it. I have seen homeschooling done very well with enthusiastic parents and in turn very enthusiastic kids. I have seen others who stay in their pajamas all day, run around loose outside and very little structured time. I don't think this helps for their future with the schedule of college or a work schedule. Homeschooled kids test at the top and bottom of the scale...depending on how well the program is run for them.

My husband and I toyed around with the thought of homeschooling but then chose not to. For us, we love public school with all the ups and downs. It is a toss up. There are experiences at public school they have that wouldn't happen in a homeschool/co-op environment and vice versa. We opted for public school. We offered our son the option to be home schooled in middle school. He said he loves school and doesn't want to be home schooled.

I think if you decide to homeschool you will be surprised nowadays how popular it has become. I have even notice homeschool classes being offered mid morning specifically for home schooled children. That is awesome!!

Good luck in your journey!! I hope you and your husband can be on board together...whatever the choice.

You're going to find a lot of different answers simply because it depends on the child(ren) learning style and temperament, parents, family support, activities, other adult influences, etc. I have friends who homeschool, unschool, private and public, etc. You may want to work backward and research curriculum and parent groups in their area. There are so many where I live and you may be surprised how many are available to you. Socialization opportunities are everywhere.

Too, while making the decision, know that you can always put your child in school or not. Try to look at this search/research as an opportunity. I put so much pressure on myself, I was a wreck. I decided to go private/progressive and know it was the right decision for my daughter and our family, but I take every opportunity to be in the classroom and learn with her after school.

Good luck!

I don't know of any studies, but I do know there are some awesome groups out there who do a great job homeschooling; perhaps you could invite your husband along to one of their outings so that he can meet other homeschooled children, and determine for himself whether they are like other kids or whether they struggle socially. As a former high school teacher, whose own children are now in school, I do have this one criticism of homeschooling: as one other posted, the children *can* tend to think everything should revolve around them. Aside from the children who were poorly homeschooled (a whole 'nother ballgame) were the children who were well-schooled, and then placed in the public schools when their desires for high level math or science experiments surpassed what mom and dad could do at home. More than once, these children told me exactly what they felt about my English curriculum and challenged me in disrespectful ways, because up until this point, the children had had their entire education revolve around what they liked, what they excelled at, and what how they learned. I have no doubt the parents taught kids things they didn't like; however, it was taught in a WAY that the child liked. Now, in a really wonderful conversation with a homeschool mom I respect, she pointed out to me that, in an ideal world, wouldn't that BE how public schools work? And I'm torn. Yes, there is a goal of individualizing education. But I also think public school kids learn the not-so-great parts of life too, like taking turns, letting the kids who need it get attention and help, and going with the flow, even when, frankly, the flow sucks. Because that *will* be part of life. I'm not sure how you teach that in a home, although I increasingly wonder whether this particular con of homeschooling outweighs the pros. I don't know what the right decision is, but wanted to give you my perspective as a public school teacher. Good luck with your decision!

That's awesome if it would work for you, but some of my kids will only thrive with a teacher, not mommy. They sit down and listen for the teacher (it's just the natural flow of the class).

I don't really see school as about the academics. My kids are little, though. My daughter is well above preschool level, reading first grade books and excelling academically, but she loves school. It provides way more than I can, and I don't mean academics, nor just "socialization," whatever that means. :) She loves it and thrives there! Self-esteem, for sure!

As they get older, sure, there are things you just have to sit down and learn.

The child doesn't have to be an outsider. There are things like baseball, soccer, gymnastics, etc that she can meet friends at. She can also join girl scouts even if she doesn't attend a school. She can also join a play group, go to story time at the library etc. All these things can get her connected to kids and you connected to other parents. It's about socializing the child outside of homeschooling and that is the parents responsibility. No study is going to show your husband this.
The YMCA in our area offers gym classes and such specifically for those who are home schooled. Home schooling is not as bad as it was when adults were younger. Maybe that is because there is so much out there for kids to do outside of school.
If there is a group of people in your area that home schools their kids there is a source for friends for your child.
There is another alternative. You could have her go to a school that allows a child to go at their own pace. You would have to research that as well.